shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

«‹›399 »

Catberry: Feb 17, 2017; ♫ Most certainly ♫

Turns out the Dutch were the real racists all along.

Somebody has a new favorite as of 22:30 on Apr 10, 2017

# ? Apr 8, 2017 10:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:22

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Completely unrealistic. A Dutch person would never communicate in grammatically incorrect English.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 10:31

Redrum and Coke: Feb 25, 2006; wAstIng 10 bUcks ON an aVaTar iS StUpid

Paladinus posted:

Completely unrealistic. A Dutch person would never communicate in grammatically incorrect English.

Inderdaad.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 13:19

Boywhiz88: Sep 11, 2005; floating 26" off da ground. BURR!

Antivehicular posted:

I actually kind of believe this could happen, but not because of the kid being Woke(tm), just because kids get fixated on weird random toys/household objects for no rational reason. Next month it'll be a promotional Beanie Baby from his dad's car dealership or something.

https://twitter.com/sqarerootofevil/status/719025621934993408

# ? Apr 8, 2017 14:48

Mountaineer: Aug 29, 2008; Imagine a rod breaking on a robot face - forever

# ? Apr 8, 2017 14:52

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I knew homosexuality was illegal in Franco Spain, but I never heard of any massacres. Anyone got a link?

# ? Apr 8, 2017 16:30

Verisimilidude: Dec 20, 2006; Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges

# ? Apr 8, 2017 22:50

bean_shadow: Sep 27, 2005; If men had uteruses they'd be called duderuses.

Mountaineer posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axByUFSa7N8&t=183s

# ? Apr 9, 2017 00:21

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

Catberry posted:

Turns out the Dutch were the real racists all along.

have you ever like, seen a dutch person post on the internet

# ? Apr 9, 2017 02:29

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Alaois posted:

have you ever like, seen a dutch person post on the internet

*eerily accurate dutch person voice* do you want to hear about why blackface is a vital part of my cultural heritage

# ? Apr 9, 2017 06:02

Catberry: Feb 17, 2017; ♫ Most certainly ♫

Alaois posted:

have you ever like, seen a dutch person post on the internet

Mostly chill pot smoking ones.

# ? Apr 9, 2017 07:34

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Still think they missed out by not sticking with Netherlanders and calling their country the Nether Realms.

# ? Apr 10, 2017 22:31

Catberry: Feb 17, 2017; ♫ Most certainly ♫

Solice Kirsk posted:

Still think they missed out by not sticking with Netherlanders and calling their country the Nether Realms.

Nether regions :eng101:

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:00

Catberry: Feb 17, 2017; ♫ Most certainly ♫

While digging through an old folder I found this image from august 2009

I don't know if the image is a stdh. But several stdh's have spawned from a similar story.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 09:16

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Catberry posted:

While digging through an old folder I found this image from august 2009

I don't know if the image is a stdh. But several stdh's have spawned from a similar story.

I hear the same couple also accidentally ate their great aunt's ashes that they thought were an exotic spice mix after a postal service blunder

# ? Apr 11, 2017 10:30

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Carioca is what anything to do with Rio is called. Pretty sure it's not a Romanian town.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 12:51

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

# ? Apr 11, 2017 13:43

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I hear the same couple also accidentally ate their great aunt's ashes that they thought were an exotic spice mix after a postal service blunder

Eew , they have the same aunt?

# ? Apr 11, 2017 13:42

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

TheMostFrench posted:

Jokes on them. Restaurant proposals are legally binding. They have to get married now. Dude probably knew.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 13:47

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Zelder posted:

Eew , they have the same aunt?

Romanians am i right!!

# ? Apr 11, 2017 13:49

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Though as far as I know second cousins (or whatever you'd be if you shared a great aunt) would be legal in many places anyway

Still weird though and still probably awkward to eat your great aunt.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 13:54

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Though as far as I know second cousins (or whatever you'd be if you shared a great aunt) would be legal in many places anyway

Still weird though and still probably awkward to eat your great aunt.

I've never not found it awkward when cannibalism and family relations collide

# ? Apr 11, 2017 14:30

Prism: Dec 22, 2007; yospos

Zelder posted:

I've never not found it awkward when cannibalism and family relations collide

Does this come up for you regularly?

# ? Apr 11, 2017 15:20

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I always joke about having my ashes mixed into the mashed potatoes at my wake.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 15:24

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

Ashed potatoes

# ? Apr 11, 2017 15:26

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Reddit posted:

I deliver food for a major company for a living, and while most of our customers are very nice we get the occasional person who drives us crazy.
One customer requested her food be delivered at 5:30PM. I left the store at about 5:20PM, knowing it'd take about ten minutes to get there. I ended up getting stuck behind slow drivers and arrived at 5:34PM.
This woman flipped out. She was yelling at me and telling me that when she requests something for a specific time, it had better be there AT that time, no sooner, no later! I got where she was coming from, but due to a variety of reasons (including not wanting drivers to drive dangerously to arrive at the specified time) we cannot guarantee that it'll happen on the dot.
She wasn't hearing any of it. No tip, but that was no surprise given her reaction.
The following week, the same woman ordered again for the same time. This time around, we had more help in store and I got the order out earlier than normal. I thought "gently caress it" and went to get something to eat. I parked on the next street over and ate my food slowly, then delivered her food at exactly 5:30PM.
This time around she was on her phone and didn't say a word to me. No tip again.
This process repeated, but I came to enjoy having some quiet time to eat, even if I wasn't getting tipped. One day I was in a particularly mischievous mood and decided to just sit outside her house and eat my lunch. When I finally rang the doorbell at 5:30PM, she immediately whipped open her door and yelled "HAVE YOU BEEN SITTING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME WITH MY FOOD?!"
"Yes."
"WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU BRING IT TO ME THEN?!"
"Cause you said when you ordered something for 5:30, you wanted it at 5:30. It's 5:30. Didn't want to bring it to you too early."
No tip.
Worth it.

link - https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/64rgfz/how_a_customer_gave_me_a_nice_break_every_week/

# ? Apr 11, 2017 21:46

life is killing me: Oct 28, 2007

Captain Monkey posted:

More like oldtasteless.

link - https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/64rgfz/how_a_customer_gave_me_a_nice_break_every_week/

I mean, having delivered for Pizza Hut, crazy customers are a given, and some folks won't tip. This isn't that hard to believe, especially where a Stormfronter would think he's being hilarious and cool by trolling the customer and letting the food get cold but still delivering it on time. The part that isn't believable is the hypothetical customer not wanting their food even a single second BEFORE their desired delivery time. Even those who are certifiably mentally ill would be all, "Oh, cool, you're early!" or "No big deal that you're a couple minutes late..."

What probably happened in reality was that the OP was always late and the customer saw them sitting outside the house eating his own food while theirs got cold because OP is probably a piece of poo poo. Evidence: OP posts on Stormfront

life is killing me has a new favorite as of 21:12 on Apr 12, 2017

# ? Apr 12, 2017 21:09

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Wait, where are you seeing this guy and a Storefront connection?

# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:12

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:45

Drunk Tomato: Apr 23, 2010; If God wanted us sober,
He'd knock the glass over.

Reddit is so freaking pathetic and desperate. It's almost not funny anymore.

# ? Apr 13, 2017 01:59

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

Well we weren't convinced you were right for our entry-level help desk job, but the way you picked up those groceries off the ground has convinced us that you're qualified to be assistant director of IT!

edit: did the PYF unpopular opinions thread go away? Cuz I got a doozy that I can't wait to poo poo out onto the internet semianonymously.

walrusman has a new favorite as of 02:24 on Apr 13, 2017

# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:15

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

walrusman posted:

Well we weren't convinced you were right for our entry-level help desk job, but the way you picked up those groceries off the ground has convinced us that you're qualified to be assistant director of IT!

edit: did the PYF unpopular opinions thread go away? Cuz I got a doozy that I can't wait to poo poo out onto the internet semianonymously.

Upgraded from computer janitor to actual janitor.

# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:31

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

walrusman posted:

edit: did the PYF unpopular opinions thread go away? Cuz I got a doozy that I can't wait to poo poo out onto the internet semianonymously.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3798595&perpage=40#post466591973

# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:45

Byzantine: Sep 1, 2007

Prism posted:

Does this come up for you regularly?

Saturn's parachute account spotted.

# ? Apr 13, 2017 02:47

omnibobb: Dec 3, 2005; Title text'd

Drunk Tomato posted:

Reddit is so freaking pathetic and desperate. It's almost not funny anymore.

This is stupid but theoretically possible. I've twice interviewed myself into a better position than what I was applying for.

# ? Apr 13, 2017 03:18

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

omnibobb posted:

This is stupid but theoretically possible. I've twice interviewed myself into a better position than what I was applying for.

By picking up trash?

# ? Apr 13, 2017 06:12

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

lemon-lyme disease posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3798595&perpage=40#post466591973

Thanks friend.

# ? Apr 13, 2017 06:26

life is killing me: Oct 28, 2007

omnibobb posted:

This is stupid but theoretically possible. I've twice interviewed myself into a better position than what I was applying for.

It's funny because this is the STDH thread

Also why are people still using that meme with baby Patton Oswalt, why won't it just die already

# ? Apr 13, 2017 06:44

BobbyK: Jun 4, 2008; by Cyrano4747

Because it's the meme used to convey the most basic of accomplishments, it'll be around for as long as there's some nerd out there summoning up the courage to interact with girl (forever)

# ? Apr 13, 2017 06:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:22

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

walrusman posted:

Thanks friend.

It's what I do. Someday, though, I may ask a favour in return.

But I really, really doubt it.

# ? Apr 13, 2017 07:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

«‹›399 »