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Re: Wood Elves, I thought it was implied that Athel Loren itself is in charge, and the elves are to it what the Brets are to the elves- a handy meatshield to be sacrificed when necessary, and culled if they start getting ideas above their station.
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Apr 11, 2017 21:58
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I believe Teclis' exact quote was 'Enough to be useful, nothing they can blow up the world with.' Part of the reason for this is the last time a human got hold of elf magic (admittedly, dark magic from dark elves) he invented necromancy and almost ended all life. Thanks, Nagash.
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Apr 11, 2017 21:59
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The random movement of AoE DoT spells in the game seems like a real fucker for your poor infantry.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:07
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CommissarMega posted:Re: Wood Elves, I thought it was implied that Athel Loren itself is in charge, and the elves are to it what the Brets are to the elves- a handy meatshield to be sacrificed when necessary, and culled if they start getting ideas above their station. That is Durthu's take on the situation, yes, though admittedly he's been incarnate for so long now that he's pretty much just a walking record of the things that must be destroyed if Athel Loran is to be safe. (at last count, pretty much everything that isn't also a forest spirit, and a decent number of those as well.) The Queen in the Woods appears to have changed Athel Loran's mind on this one, insofar as the elves are adapting marvellously to the magic murder forest and have proven much better at killing corrupted forest spirits than forest spirits are, not to mention significantly more capable of doing Anything At All during the winter, which has traditionally been a pain in the forest's rear end.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:11
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Artificer posted:The random movement of AoE DoT spells in the game seems like a real fucker for your poor infantry. I don't believe vortex spells have friendly fire.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:16
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Also worth noting, the elves are not the most powerful mages in Warhammer Fantasy, by and large. If you've seen the Warhammer 2 trailer, remember that fat angry frog on a hoverchair? That dude right there is a safe bet for the title of most powerful living mage in the entire setting and among other things was single-handedly responsible for the downfall of Dwarfen civilization as a side effect he considers unimportant.
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Apr 11, 2017 23:40
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Artificer posted:Existence in the Warhammer universe seems like a real fucker for your poor infantry. ftfy
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Apr 11, 2017 23:43
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Cythereal posted:Also worth noting, the elves are not the most powerful mages in Warhammer Fantasy, by and large. If you've seen the Warhammer 2 trailer, remember that fat angry frog on a hoverchair? That dude right there is a safe bet for the title of most powerful living mage in the entire setting and among other things was single-handedly responsible for the downfall of Dwarfen civilization as a side effect he considers unimportant. The actual most powerful 'living' mage is Lord Kroak who is mummified but still active because he has too much poo poo to do. Living Slann are like 3rd spawning generation plus I think and thus not as powerful as the mummified or sleeping ones. But yeah I think it was Kroak who moved all the continental plates back to their original position after they drifted which caused the downfall of the dwarves. Also I think he blew up one of the moons or a chunk of it in End Times? I was always kinda weirded out by the fact lizardmen just kinda emerge from a murky pool of water fully formed. Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at 00:47 on Apr 12, 2017 |
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Apr 12, 2017 00:43
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Telsa Cola posted:The actual most powerful 'living' mage is Lord Kroak who is mummified but still active because he has too much poo poo to do. Living Slann are like 3rd spawning generation plus I think and thus not as powerful as the mummified or sleeping ones. But yeah I think it was Kroak who moved all the continental plates back to their original position after they drifted which caused the downfall of the dwarves. Also I think he blew up the moon in End Times? Mazdamundi, the frog in the trailer and confirmed Legendary Lord for the expansion, is the one who moved the continents. It's the skaven who blew up the moon. Kroak's the one who stopped the original Chaos invasion and created the Vortex, confining Chaos to the Wastes (the elves think they did it, but they were just a distraction for Chaos while Kroak and the rest of the First Spawning slann did the real work). The lizardmen boil down to robots who have gone several thousand years without instructions or maintenance from their creators. They're still trying to do the job they were given, but after so long they've started to go... wonky.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:48
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Cythereal posted:It's the skaven who blew up the moon. Yep they also did not think of the consequences of this until meteors started heading towards the planet. Kraok however protected the Lizardmen and I think a good chunk of the world by shielding them from the chunks.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:52
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Wow what the gently caress. So basically everyone and every faction is awesome and at the same time horribly awful. Cept the vamps and chaos and goblins and orcs who are just bad news all around forever.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:57
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The Lizardmen are officially part of the forces of Order. Basically, leave them alone and they'll leave you alone while loving up poo poo for the skaven, dark elves, and Chaos. They'll even sometimes send expeditions to the Old World for their own inscrutable reasons that generally involve loving poo poo up for Chaos. 90% of all Lizardmen-on-everyone-else violence occurs when someone ignores that "leave them alone" part. Usually because Lizardmen cities are literally paved with gold. The other times, like when Mazdamundi doomed Dwarfen civilization, are usually just collateral damage from the Lizardmen doing their thing. Mazdamundi didn't intend to cast down the Dwarfs for all time, he probably wasn't even aware of their existence. But he had a disagreement with plate tectonics and won, and the resulting seismic and volcanic upheaval was just an incidental side effect. And remember, Mazdamundi is confirmed as one of the lizards' Legendary Lords for Total Warhammer 2. 
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Apr 12, 2017 01:01
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I like to think of the Lizardmen as babysitters. Mom and dad said feed the kids chicken nuggets and fries, watch Moana then put the kids to bed at 9. Problem is mom and dad never returned. Now the children are in their 20's but the babysitter has the house all locked up. Every night is a chicken nugget and fries dinner. The Blu ray is broken and the babysitter doesn't understand digital. Everyone sits around a broken tv and closes their eyes. Together they perfectly recite Moana from memory and then go to bed. Technically the instructions are being followed but everyone in the house is psychotic and broken.
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Apr 12, 2017 01:07
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Nash posted:I like to think of the Lizardmen as babysitters. 
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Apr 12, 2017 01:21
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Artificer posted:Wow what the gently caress. So basically everyone and every faction is awesome and at the same time horribly awful. The Dark Elves too. Their gimmick is pretty much that they are horrible assholes. (And that their boss still lives with his mom.) They were the ones who set up the war between Dwarfs and Elves that ended their glory days.
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Apr 12, 2017 01:23
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Hunt11 posted:I am willing to give Warhammer Wood Elves a pass as they are less uppity assholes and more psychotic isolationists who just want everybody to leave them and their insane murder forest alone. Warhammer Vermintide is a really surprisingly good at showing why this is not the case when and where the rubber hits the road. Because nothing leaves that fuckin' forest alone so you just have really sullen wood elves who are pissed off all the time when they aren't in the forest for purposes they refuse to explain Its disjointed and fragmented and not super-duper coherent, but Vermintide has low-key one of the better Warhammer stories out there considering the conclusion is Everyone Dies For No Reason Anyway. Artificer posted:Wow what the gently caress. So basically everyone and every faction is awesome and at the same time horribly awful. Yeah! You're getting it!
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Apr 12, 2017 05:25
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MonsterEnvy posted:The Dark Elves too. Their gimmick is pretty much that they are horrible assholes. (And that their boss still lives with his mom.) And they have sex, and Morathi is the head of a Chaos cult that is actively persecuted by Malekith, who declared himself to be the living avatar of Khaine God of Murder, who treats elves like elves treat everyone else. (Depending on the edition).
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Apr 12, 2017 05:40
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I like that two of the evil factions are led by people who live with their parents. In one case, who lives in their basement.
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Apr 12, 2017 05:49
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Willie Tomg posted:Warhammer Vermintide is a really surprisingly good at showing why this is not the case when and where the rubber hits the road. Because nothing leaves that fuckin' forest alone so you just have really sullen wood elves who are pissed off all the time when they aren't in the forest for purposes they refuse to explain The real plot of Vermintide is a one-eyed human kills six skaven with a single crossbow bolt while an elf tries to pretend it wasn't very impressive.
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Apr 12, 2017 06:06
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Mzbundifund posted:The real plot of Vermintide is a one-eyed human kills six skaven with a single crossbow bolt while an elf tries to pretend it wasn't very impressive. Fuckin elves. Literally the worst.
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Apr 12, 2017 06:22
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Lunethex posted:I like that two of the evil factions are led by people who live with their parents. One's the Dark Elves, but who's the other one?
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Apr 12, 2017 06:43
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White Coke posted:One's the Dark Elves, but who's the other one? The crypts of Castle Drakenhof are literally Mannfred's parents' basement.
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Apr 12, 2017 06:45
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So the vamps, orcs, goblins, chaos, and dark elves just are utter assholes and have no redeeming qualities really, huh? Yeesh. Well I guess if you want to make a bad guy team amongst a group of rear end in a top hat teams, you gotta make it clear.
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Apr 12, 2017 07:18
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Artificer posted:So the vamps, orcs, goblins, chaos, and dark elves just are utter assholes and have no redeeming qualities really, huh? Yeesh. Well I guess if you want to make a bad guy team amongst a group of rear end in a top hat teams, you gotta make it clear. Hey now! At least Vamps are classy evil assholes that will fight to save the world against Chaos, and the Greenskins have a humorous charm in their bloody determination to keep "fightin' an' winnin'". Chaos and DE though, yeah they're just crazy evil assholes.
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Apr 12, 2017 07:34
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Also, the Von Carsteins at least have proven themselves to be, on the whole, better rulers than most of the Empire's nobles. Thing is, while most nobles see their citizens as expendable, the Von Carsteins see them as livestock and property that's actually worth protecting. At the very least, fewer living people die in the VC's wars than they would under Imperial rule. And while peacetime does make for terrifying nights, banditry (last I heard) was quite low since the rich carriage going through secluded roads alone might be more than an army of bandits can handle. As for rogue vampires, the Von Carsteins take care to police themselves very, very efficiently.
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Apr 12, 2017 07:49
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I always wondered, why is it that vampires feed on their victims until they die? Surely it is more efficient to keep the blood bags around.
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Apr 12, 2017 07:52
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CommissarMega posted:As for rogue vampires, the Von Carsteins take care to police themselves very, very efficiently. Varghulfs are vampires who've decided that they don't like pretending to be remotely human and it's time to go crazy forever and enjoy the ride. Vargheists, on the other hand, are what you get when Vlad decides that someone needs a time-out for a few hundred years while locked in one of the prison caskets down in the catacombs where the warpstone tainted water drips on them.
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Apr 12, 2017 07:54
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Artificer posted:I always wondered, why is it that vampires feed on their victims until they die? Surely it is more efficient to keep the blood bags around. It's not specifically blood that the warham vampires need, it's the magical life force of their victims. Regardless of how much blood is actually drained, their victims die because their life force has been absorbed. The vampires themselves don't particularly like being blood-reliant either, and several of them have searched for alternatives, some more successfully than others.
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Apr 12, 2017 09:09
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Nash posted:I like to think of the Lizardmen as babysitters. amazing now do orks
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Apr 12, 2017 09:13
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Inadequately posted:It's not specifically blood that the warham vampires need, it's the magical life force of their victims. Regardless of how much blood is actually drained, their victims die because their life force has been absorbed. Can't take little chunks of it huh? Dang.
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Apr 12, 2017 09:22
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Inadequately posted:It's not specifically blood that the warham vampires need, it's the magical life force of their victims. Regardless of how much blood is actually drained, their victims die because their life force has been absorbed. The victims don't need to die. Being repeatedly fed on by a vampire is not healthy for you, but as long as the vampire isn't actively trying to kill you, and has the willpower to not succumb to bloodlust, you'll survive. The thing is, they rarely have a reason to give a poo poo about you.
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Apr 12, 2017 09:28
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Herr Tog posted:amazing Orks are, as always, Football Hooligans. Or Thatcherites. Regardless, they are pretty happy with the state of affairs. there's always another fight around the corner. Providing GW aren't forcing them into alliances with people who will do the worst thing imaginable. ie END the fights.
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Apr 12, 2017 10:42
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Artificer posted:So the vamps, orcs, goblins, chaos, and dark elves just are utter assholes and have no redeeming qualities really, huh? Yeesh. Well I guess if you want to make a bad guy team amongst a group of rear end in a top hat teams, you gotta make it clear. Nah Orcs and Goblins are cheerful happy go lucky types who really like fighting people. They don't do it out of malice, it's just a big laugh.
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Apr 12, 2017 11:12
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Herr Tog posted:amazing Once upon a time, you had this Football game. Grand ol' game it was, Midtown Morks 'ginst the Glasgow Gorks. Game went into overtime and wound up 3-2. Damned if I remember if the Gorks or Morks won, grand ol' scrap though. Well o' course after a game like that the Morks' (Gorks?) boys got to a bit of rioting, and soon as you know every lorrie in the lot's flipped and flamin' away. After a bit of a tussle the Gork & Mork boys decided to hoof it home, smashing windows, drawing graffiti and popping anyone that looked at 'em funny (or just plain looked funny) square inna jaw. And more boyz kept joining up as they went through town, so many that they couldn't decide they couldn't decide where they were going. But everyone was having a blast beating the snot out of each other and taking whatever they found, so it didn't matter. So they come to the edge of town and the Gork boss (Mork boss?) managed to yell over the crowd, and he says in his finest bellow: "WE'Z HAVIN' FUN, ROIGHT?!" "ROIGHT!!" say the boyz, "AN' YA WANT MORE FUN, ROIGHT?!" "ROIGHT!!!!" "WELL I KNOW A PUB IN THE NEXT VILLAGE, LETS GET MOVIN'!" [B][I]WAAAAAGH!!!!!!! And they've been movin' ever since.
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Apr 12, 2017 11:41
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Artificer posted:I always wondered, why is it that vampires feed on their victims until they die? Surely it is more efficient to keep the blood bags around. Some don't. The Lahmian Sisterhood, mentioned in the tech tree, almost exclusively don't because they act as infiltrators and spies and dead bodies get investigated (especially when they have no blood and two pinpricks on their necks). Similarly, a lot of Carsteins will just have their village choose people to bleed into the cup for the tithe when the time comes. Killing someone is sort of a conspicuous consumption thing with vamps.
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Apr 12, 2017 13:25
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CommissarMega posted:Also, the Von Carsteins at least have proven themselves to be, on the whole, better rulers than most of the Empire's nobles. Thing is, while most nobles see their citizens as expendable, the Von Carsteins see them as livestock and property that's actually worth protecting. At the very least, fewer living people die in the VC's wars than they would under Imperial rule. And while peacetime does make for terrifying nights, banditry (last I heard) was quite low since the rich carriage going through secluded roads alone might be more than an army of bandits can handle. As for rogue vampires, the Von Carsteins take care to police themselves very, very efficiently. Vampire apologist spotted.
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Apr 12, 2017 13:55
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wiegieman posted:Varghulfs are vampires who've decided that they don't like pretending to be remotely human and it's time to go crazy forever and enjoy the ride. Vargheists, on the other hand, are what you get when Vlad decides that someone needs a time-out for a few hundred years while locked in one of the prison caskets down in the catacombs where the warpstone tainted water drips on them. sweet lemme just recruit three units into this army real quick. i make that 27 tainted vampires so that's larry, barry, terry, gerald, paul, pete, anna, rachel, mona, emily, phyllis, bonnie, josh, cynthia, becky, alan, joan, tom, arthur, phil, sean, james, todd, george, linda, clarence, and jane von carstein, who all presumably got on the bad side of vlad at some point ah poo poo some of them got killed. no problem i'll just rest in this town and now nancy, jason, marcus and keith have shown up
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Apr 12, 2017 13:56
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Cardiac posted:Vampire apologist spotted. Warhammer Fantasy is big on black comedy, and this is the central joke about the Vampire Counts: the literal blood-sucking nobles are actually better rulers to the peasantry than most of the merely rhetorical blood-suckers.
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Apr 12, 2017 14:01
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Cythereal posted:Warhammer Fantasy is big on black comedy, and this is the central joke about the Vampire Counts: the literal blood-sucking nobles are actually better rulers to the peasantry than most of the merely rhetorical blood-suckers. It's less that they're better and more that they aren't really that any worse. Stupid Stirlanders coming in after Vlad got iced the first time and going 'Oh gently caress this backwater country' and abusing their subjects is a big reason the people of Sylvania welcomed the Von Carsteins back. Which is a running theme in Fantasy, at least in the RPG: The more you abuse people the more you drive them to join up with the vampires/chaos/whatever other evil you've got kicking around.
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Apr 12, 2017 14:04
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Cythereal posted:Warhammer Fantasy is big on black comedy, and this is the central joke about the Vampire Counts: the literal blood-sucking nobles are actually better rulers to the peasantry than most of the merely rhetorical blood-suckers. "They are stronger than us, smarter than us, live longer than us, and are far better looking than us. They are our superiors in every respect, and the taxes are lower when they rule. When they come back I will be the first to welcome them."
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Apr 12, 2017 14:12
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