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AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
1H: "I'm alternate clothed!"

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Poldarn
Feb 18, 2011

1D) Hillary’s black magic

CourValant posted:

2D: "The jig is up Nancy-Maid-Girlie-Man, what did you put in that bottle?"
+1

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

H Nasty women can't hurl their magicks at those who don(heh) only their Birthday suit!

H Executive order up Daily Taco Bowls to the oval office to remind you of the most insidious of threats!:ese:

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."


1. H - Bomb the gently caress out of some brown people.
2. H - Bomb the gently caress out of some brown people.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


C
E- play golf

Hobolicious
Oct 7, 2012

The military might of a country represents its national strength. Only when it builds up its military might in every way can it develop into a thriving country.
F D

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
CC

obvious fake, the presidential dick is much girthier & of course more stylishly manscaped

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
“Why are you holding a MY towel?” You asked Mike.

“S-Mr. President, you should wear something.” He answered as he hands you the towel.

“Wear a towel!?” You knock the towel off his hand and it flew backward towards his face with your well-soaked manly stain. You feel extremely satisfied at your display of authority and marking your scent on him like a property.

Mike pull his face away from the towel as fast as he could and breathe in two deep breath of fresh air before he can reply. “S-sorry, Mr. President, I will get your cloth asap!”

“Why should I wear more cloth?” You questioned the sanity of your vice president. Maybe he should be FIRED after all…

“Be-because you are n-?” Mike can’t finish saying ‘naked’ before you push the towel in his hand towards his mouth for a mouthful of your manly stench. It must be the best kiss he ever had in his whole live, he should be thankful for your aid to his pitifulness.

As Mike gag and chock painfully at the invading manhood, you continues slowly like a father explaining to his beloved child about how to use a fork and spoon. “Listen, Mike.” You tries to get the attention of the man who is still overwhelmed by your fatherly aura, “Listen.” You grip his shoulder tightly to make his focus, which he finally able to face you eyes-to-eyes. “Mike, I have been wearing clothes the whole time.” You readjust your invisible new brand of red tie (made in china) just to prove the point.” His bewildered stares at your motion shows he just realized the extra-long tie is there for the first time, which confirm your suspicion. “Only fools can’t see this cloth because Hilary casted some black magic to make it so.”

Mike looks at you with a face that you can only describe as “OMG! HE IS RIGHT! ME DUMB!” all over his face. He let out of long sigh at how many more people you have to enlightened, but as the head of the political family, you should at least praise your second in command for getting it faster than your average fools should. You lean uncomfortably close to his ears and whisper:


“Good.”

(Now imagine Trump not wearing cloth in the pic)

Then you walks away, considering changed into another cloth in hope of it not touched by the foul magic of Hillary. You don’t know how she did it, but you will have a call with the sick freak Putin just in case she is working for him. They are both women after all.

After changing into a new cloth and verifying with the confused agent outside your door of whether he can see your cloth or not, you happily sit back at your presidential desk. You are in the mood for some KFC or Burger King, so some secret agents was send to get both.The fast food that you are willing to stomach for the sake of your country. SAD.

You dial the Russia speed dial number: 69. That creep will sexual harass the hell of anyone as much as possible, but you are a TRUE Christian, plausibly a direct decedent of some great biblical figures, so such indecent advance at him will never work!

The ring tone went on and went for a long while without anyone answering.

You waited longer for the goddamn she-male to pick up the call, but he is clearly too busy having an orgy with pigs or something. Hopefully, his secretary will pick up soon.

The line went dead from expiration.

Steve Bannon - your chief strategist rushed into your room to tell you something important enough to interrupt your call. In fact, you tend to get drowsy when any of these ‘strategist’ started to talk.

To be honest, you don’t really know what most of these White House cabinet position do, and you just hand them out to people you trust or whichever CEO make the highest bid. You suspect most of them don’t know what they are doing as well, but they are rich people, and rich people are smart. You can’t stay rich by being dumb after all, so you chuck all their screw up to inexperience and will eventually not be a problem in the future. You still have nearly 2000 vacancy waiting to be fill by these highly motivated and hardest workers of America, but the bids and favor is slowing down from the bad rep of these fake news. Your businessperson mind is proposing a buy one get one free deal to help this filling business, but you don’t want to come out as cheap.

“Mister Trump! Mister Trump!” Bannon urged your sense back to reality. He sighed, remember how you prefer he phrase his report. “Problem. World leaders are missing.” He paused for a second to let your mental vitality to recoversbefore continues. “Taiwan, Japan, UK, France, India,China’s… and others.” He seems to run out of names in his dictionary for world geography or gotten tired of reciting country name like a fifth grader.

Hmm… Intriguing. How should you respond to this world crisis?
A) Get some group advice and get more details
B) Do another press conference. [write-in]
C) Go back to sleep. It must have something to do with the dream thing
D) Get your top researcher to figure out what is going on
E) Ignore this and get ready for your fast food
F) Find and jail Hillary for her BLACK MAGIC!
G) Write-in

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?
1E

"As I've told you idiots before, I'm the U.S. President of America! NOT THE WORLD!!!

These other Countries can keep track of their own Presidents, I look out for America First!!!

Tell those agents they better be back in 5 with that food, if I hear one more time how one of them got caught in Maryland getting his D wet with some working- girl, I swear I'll dismantle the entire Secret Service.

And someone find the Secretary of Defense! I want to watch something blow up while I eat. Tell him to fire a few dozen cruise missiles at something!!!"

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
E: Of course they're missing. There's only one real world leader and that one is right here. Go get me my mctacoking.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Look at all these wrong E voters voting wrong.

G: I'm a businessman. This is a business opportunity. Those nations all want to join the US and our powerhouse but they've been held up by pesky laws. We can offer them the chance to become like franchise-states to the United States and get our protection. At a cost.

And I can also shout at the secret service to hurry up while my kids are on the phone making the offers because they have to pull their weight somehow. Delegation!

Poldarn
Feb 18, 2011

F But first break some occult weapons out of Area 51 or something.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
D TOP MEN need to start providing TOP RESULTS. What kinda shitshow is this?!?? SAD that it even got to this point. Too many LOSERS

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

DE combo.

Get me some answers or BY CHRIST I will gas you all with taco king farts!

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Poldarn posted:

F But first break some occult weapons out of Area 51 or something.

Yes. Tell those nerds to pull out all the E.T. ray guns while the S.W.A.Ts um, swat Hillary. Jail time!

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Play Golf.

Hobolicious
Oct 7, 2012

The military might of a country represents its national strength. Only when it builds up its military might in every way can it develop into a thriving country.
F

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
Warning: The following update induces hunger.

“Arrest Hillary.” You give Bannon the command, fully expecting him to handle all the paperwork and administrative echo needed to make this happen.

Bannon eyes went wide in surprise at the sudden demand. “Arrest Hillary Clinton?” He asked for confirmation.

“Yes, she is behind all these mess. Arrest. Her.” You pronounce your order clearly to your chief advisor with crystal-clear authoritive tone.

A smile quickly spread across Bannon’s face and eventually reveals white set of perfect teeth at the news of Clinton getting arrested. After all, Bannon hated women more than a jealous wife with an unfaithful husband. More than that, he believes women “Suck at interviews, “Birth control makes women unattractive and crazy”, “a bunch of dykes”, and most often can be heard him whispering “Kick her rear end.” A classical conservative man who understood the true value of woman and their ONLY place in kitchen and their ONLY place in kitchen. Who else would cook a good meal and give the men a good shoulder massage?

“Right away, Mr. President! Hilary will know she have no place in politics!” Bannon exclaimed with great enthusiasm. He was about to bolt to the FBI, but remember to ask, “Did the Secret Service found evidence of her wrongdoing? The FBI would need evidence to file the charge.”

“Black Magic.” You told Bannon and repeats. “Black. Magic.”

Bannon is stunned by the reply. Black Magic? His smile slowly fade away at the revelation of the so-called evidence. “Are you sure, Mr. President?”

“Don’t make me repeat it the third time, John.”You cautioned Bannon with rapidly depleting patience.

Bannon wants to point out his first name is Steve, but there’s more important issue at hand. To him, the president is the greatest man of America who won the hearts of millions of American; he is like the second coming of Christ for the conservative who can restore the value of God to the people. If he, the president, said he have evident of Black Magic performed by Hilary Clinton in lieu of all this mass dreaming of desert that might be magical in nature, it all makes sense to him. How else would a woman get so high up in the political ladder without the help of men and bed-favors? Indeed, he aren’t chosen as the chief strategist of the greatest country in the world for being close-minded. After all, god gave Solomon magic in the Bible, so magic and demon have to be real. This is some first class information that Mr. Trump have entrusted to him, and he must fulfill his duty as the right-hand-man to the man who will save America. He will get the FBI if not the local police to arrest her even if he have to lie because it is hard to convict someone on charge of Black Magic. He will think of something.

Bannon’s concerning stares slowly turns into that of determination and admiration as he gave you a solid salute before stepping out of your room. You, of course, return the salute as if he is a soldier who is going to his last battle and he knows he will never come back. It might be time to consider a new candidate for his position.

But first, breakfast.


You told the door guard outside to hang the “DO NOT DISTURB” sign and refuse anyone else besides Bannon. You loves your private eating time, but you like it more for the news of Hilary Clinton beingin jail.

-------------


Ahhh, KFC, KFC, why are your offering so beautiful?


This drumstick. Beautiful.


These chicken strips. Fantastic.


This burger from Burger King. A food most deserve of the King, baby!



0. Next, this salad…. WHAT THE CHRIST!? WHO ORDERED SALAD!?
A) Demand the guards to know how is responsible for this! He will get the most lonesome lecture of his entire life!
B) FIRE the person who ordered salad for breakfast!
C) Ignore this gravest error. You are too hungry to care. Way too hungry.
D) Wri-


Ohhhh… New flavor of soda. You sluuuuuup it up to get a blast of the new flavor…. It’s like a mix of… Mountain Dew and… Your medicine.


At least it goes well with these nuggets. Oh yess, you are in heaven. God intended this. It is all God’s work. The fast food industry must get a tax cut for these amazing products!


Ahhh…. You are all refreshed for any work and ready to sleep till noon. You slurp hungrily at the last layer of panacea from the plastic bottle.

“Mr. President.” Bannon returns sooner than you thought. You always knew the FBI is ready to arrest Clinton.

“Give me the good news.” You smile with elevated mood for the news to make your day.

Bannon is hesitant, which mean it is bad news. It seem he is not long for the job. However, it is not all bad news as he reports, “The FBI told me Clinton and Obama is missing from their home. Their family reported it.”

Th-this is great news! They must have ran away knowing you are going to arrest them for Black Magic! drat those leakers! Wait a minute, you only told Bannon about this…

1) Could your most trusted advisor be a leaker?
A) Fire him after all this is resolved
B) Fire him NOW
C) Keep him, his wits is still useful. It’s a shame for his loyalty though.
D) Keep him, you trust him to not be a leaker. You merely got wiretapped by the dammed Obama.

2) As for what to do next…
A) Ask Bannon for advice
B) You are getting sleepy. It’s time for your ‘scheduled’ noon nap.
C) Do another press conference.

3) Your thoughts is interrupt by the urge to tweet, should you?
A) Yes
B) No
C) Never ask this again, ALWAYS YES.

2, cont.) Ok, back to your other thoughts…
D) Get your top researcher to figure out this mess
E) Get a priest to protect you from Black Magic
F) Write-in

Nyaa fucked around with this message at 00:30 on Apr 11, 2017

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Consume
Dat
Amazing
Chow
Dawg!

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?
0D

Don't even bother thinking about it; fire the entire secret service detail for this morning. If they can't even get breakfast right, how can you trust them to protect the magnificence which is Trump?

1C

Keep him, because now that you know he's a Leaker, you can use it to your advantage!!!

2E

Get them boys from Scientology in here; clearly, the teachings of L Ron is the only way to combat this menace. We need some of that spaceship reborn soul fueled cosmic magic now!

3C

Of course Always Yes! Trust in our instincts, which are the best instincts! Bigly!!!

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Consume
Dat
Amazing
Chow
Dawg!

:btroll:

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
0D Fire the entire secret service.
1B Fire Bannon, that vile leaker! you are dead to me, Bannon, Dead! Never again speak a word in my presence!
2A Get Bannon back in here, I need him to tell me what to do. He's still fired, though,
3C As if there was ever any self control.
2F Tell Kushner to go do what Bannon said.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

0 B
1 D
2 E
3 C
TRUMP TRAIN HAS NO BREAKS!

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
0C
1D
We're TOO GOOD a president to have our TOP MEN leaking
2A The best leaders have the best advisors, but are willing to disregard their advice if they have to
3C
2 again D

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
B
DB
C
E

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:

You SHOVE the salad to spill and litter all over the floor. That should send enough message for NO SALAD to that VEGAN. Then you readjust the position of the drumstick box and strip out of habit to be focal to your symmetrical perfect perspective point of view. Now you can consume this fine piece of morning breakfast like a man.


Firmly grasp the drumstick, display great manly aggression, and devour like an alpha… Ohhhh… New flavor of soda…


After your righteous feasting and Bannon’s news return, you find him to be NOT GUILTY as a possible leaker. After all, you hand picked him for his loyalty. There’s simply no way they would ever betray your trust, and your perceptive judgement would not have failed you in regards to your picks. It is impossible for you to be wrong, for you are TOO BIG TO FAIL!


Logically, that only further affirms your other suspicion. Obama DID wiretapped you! You were only trying to spread some alternative facts to slander, distract, and hopefully recreates the Nixon Era wiretapping scandal that literally the worst thing to ever ruin a presidency. But you now truly believes it so with rising evidences along with Michael Flynn – your national security advisor, personally informed you of his ‘secret source in the White House’ that Obama did tapped you! As mention before, you TRUST your handpicked advisor! They are loyal and capable people who you know would not make such claim if not having mounting evidences to back their daunting claims!It’s a shame that he needs more time to gather more damning evidences to round up the whole secret operative and backers of Obama. God speed to that patriot!


However, it is too late now. Obama and Clinton has bailed. They are now missing and probably hiding within ISIS or Mexico.

“What should we do now, John.” You asked the advisor in front of you for suggestion.

Steve Bannon replies, “As you said, Mr. President, it can’t be a coincident that all these dream happened and they went missing at the same time.” He rubs his chin, dots connecting and disconnecting in his mind for woman conspiracy, and finally it all connected to him. “Remember the news about witches casting ‘mass spell’ to curse you?


Trump’s sleepy eyes awakened in full force of light-bulb lightness at the reasoning. Yes, of course! Since Black Magic is real, then these witches spell must be the only reason that your administration has suffered so much! The illusion of people at the rally, the harshness of the press, and the strangely low poll numbers! It’s all Black voodoo magic.It. All. Makes. Sense.


Clinton are part of the witch convent who also intentionally leak information on email, and Obama’s African ancestry matches with the voodoo part of the equation along with the wiretap. It. All. Makes. Goddamned. Sense.

You slams your angry fist-of-make-sense on your breakfast table, fully intending to break it in half; unfortunately, it is not made in China. Then you points your finger at Bannon and give your direct order as the commander in chief: “Arrest all participating witches, round every one of them up and interrogate them! Also get our top researcher to figure out these magic poo poo!”



By God, you need a priest, fast.

---------------

--------------


Elder D. Todd Christofferson, if that long rear end name isn’t impressive enough, he is also known as the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That’s a lot of ink on his business card. Surely, a priest with such lengthy prestige (and most importantly, white) would know how to dispel and protect you against Black Magic.

“Good to meet you again, Mr. President.” Christofferson arrived within two hours after your call for his service. He is a respectful and great man who command the masses with great authority and wisdom of God. Even here, his holy presence can you felt holily like a warm sunlight on your skin, providing plentiful of Vitamin H.

“I need your help, great Elder.” You hesitated a bit in your speech as you are not accustomed to asking for help so readily, but the service is free on the other end makes it easily on your kind and modest heart. “Hilary has casted Black Magic on me. I need blessing and protection.” You voiced respectfully, but also with a firm negotiating tone that remind him that saying “No” is not an option.


Christofferson let out a small sigh and seem to be disturbed greatly by something judging from his pained expression. Surely, he felt the dark magical aura that is infecting your very being at this very moment! He closed his eyes and offers a LONG prayer to you with a bunch of words that is mostly praising god in his glory and make the three-point gesture a couple time to ask God to provide relief for “this sick child”. Then, he took out a Bible and handed it to you before saying to you in the gentlest voice: “Worry not for the curse no more, and hold this Bible close to you in remembrance of God, for God will protect his faithful.”

The priest promptly excused himself to leave without more words. That’s good. You like busy working people who knows to perform their service and leave without wasting other people time like a top class prostitute.


Now that your curse is broken and the Bible/God will protect you against foul magic, what should you do next?
A) Wait for reports. Watch some tv and movie.
B) Go to sleep.
C) Ask someone else for advice
D) Boy, you sure have done a lot this morning! You can hardly think of more things to do! [write-in]

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?
1A: Wait for reports. Watch some TV and movie (and then promptly fall asleep in the chair).

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Golf Damn you golf!

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
Now it's time to hit back, they won't expect it bc they thought the curse would win. But they didn't over estimate.

Demand! The! Reports! Where is Obama! Where is Hillary! Prepare to strike against the terrorists, militarily!

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
D Must play golf! Fly the length of the country, seal off a huge area, get out there, hit 18 holes, fly home. Easy, simple, straightforward.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

D. Taco Bowl making contest between Trump Tower and White House kitchen staff GO!

I ARE SOLE JUDGE SINCE EVERYONE ELSE IS poo poo.

Toughy
Nov 29, 2004

KAVODEL! KAVODEL!

D, golf with more white christians who are extremely loud and demanding, and fashion forward with their white uniforms

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






AJ_Impy posted:

D Must play golf! Fly the length of the country, seal off a huge area, get out there, hit 18 holes, fly home. Easy, simple, straightforward.

:golfclap:

Poldarn
Feb 18, 2011

AJ_Impy posted:

D Must play golf! Fly the length of the country, seal off a huge area, get out there, hit 18 holes, fly home. Easy, simple, straightforward.

+1

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I wonder how us, the collective consciousness of POTUS take to that Keith​ olberman message
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCcw2sPlplY

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
Note: All golf term are bolded for the sake of you ignorant masses who can't participate in the greatest sport in the world because you are poor or ignorant.


You need to get some fresh air. This place smell too much like salad and it is making you uncomfortable.


Thankfully, your Ace pilot with his double Eagle medal will fly you to a place that is All Square and clean as an Apron.

Golf Term Total : 4


The country will surely miss you when you are Away to the Back Tees of the country with your helicopter appropriately named - Ball Marker – currently delivering you to the Trump National Bedminster at New Jersey. The top 100 golf course in America that you own, but now managed by your family because the president can’t interferes by his own business. The only business you can manage and own, is your family.

Golf Term Total: 7


The helicopter Ball Mark so low to the ground that it cause sands to spray all over the local tourist at the beach and make them scatters like Birdies, but the greatest satisfaction comes to you from ruining some dude’s Best Ball throw that would surely get him laid tonight. SAD BOGEY BITE.

Golf Term Total: 13


What is a relaxing golf without a good old tournament with your rich white friend betting with each other for at least a million dollar minimum bin? And boy do you have a lots of friends who are willing to drop everything they were doing to play golf with you on the call! In fact, they already formed the tournament Bracket as you arrives on heli.


“Hail to the President.” Greg Norman tips his head as he walks over for a handshake. He is your decade-long Australian golf buddy that you trust more than anybody not immediately come to mind.

“Good to see you again, Greg.” You exchanged a manly handshake with great friendship with each other that would make the ladies yelps in happiness. “How much is in the Cup now?”

Greg waves his hands flat down around his chest as he specify, “Casual Water Level.”


You whistle out unlike the Chipping noise of a bird. That level on a betting pot means you all are going all Dance Floor so Deep into the Divot that we will need a Divot Repair Tool after this is over. You can’t even afford a Double Bogey with this level of serious competition.

Golf Term Total: 23


The golf field has recently suffered a heavy rainfall, but the personnel worked hard to make sure the swamp are Drained. You are very serious about keeping a good image for the place you managed. Won’t want to hit a Duff shot because of some silly Duck Hook curve the ball into wet soil.

Golf Term Total: 26


“Well, well, if it isn’t the President himself.” The familiar voice rings through your ear like an alarm clock (made in China) that you wish to smash into pieces with your fist. The voice of your biggest rival at golf – Mike Keiser. A fellow Billionaire who own 11 golf courses compares to your 18, but his course was rated higher some lovely raters who doesn’t appreciate American eagle flying on your course. The same BIAS people who set the Etiquette standard and love their tiny little Executive Course for babies. You hope those Fat Flyer would Fade away along the Fairway on the First Tee and never come back! GIMME FRINGE HANDICAP WAHHHH!

Golf Term Total: 36

“Was the political stress toooo much, missssterprez?” Mike Keiser mocks you as he usually do, and his gang of fake friends boo and jeers with the Fore signal of their leader. That man is like a Forward Tees that loves to stands out from the norm and his dick only Get Up from Honors and Green Fee. “Does the big boy Fly The Green all the way here to get some Hot weather? D.C. too cold for your baby skin?”

Golf Term Total: 43

Oh, he will get some grand Grounding with a Hook through his Lip where he will Lie on a Loft in Modified Scramble for forgiveness! You walks up to Mike with your hat turned backward to display aggressive showing of challenge between alpha male. “Let’s do a Match Play.” You suggested to his face. His rally of fake friends goes “ooooohhhhhh”!

Yes, it is down. It is down like a Pin on the ground and no Pitching will ever bring this Out Of Bounds ball back into the field.

Golf Term Total: 52

Mike bits his lips and lick hungrily at you with wolfish eyes. “Playing to my strength, eh?” He sniffed at the wild pollen in the air and continues to exhales poisonous words at you.“Maybe you need a Mulligan more than giving me an edge like that.” He purrs darkly as he emits a breath of death air that encircles your imagination that would turns this golf course into a battlefield of darkness if this is a world of fantasy golfing. “You are going to regret this on the Nineteenth Hole.

“Who said we are going nineteen?” He lean closer to be able to smell his terrib-actually refreshingly nice minty breath, but you won’t tell him that. Anyway he have a shocked face, but that minty breath is ruining your mental immersion of the drat situation, goddamn it. “I like them sweet sixteen.”

Mike stares at your doubling down with growing smiles that including gradually slow nods with calculating stares. “You are Playing Through with a dangerous game.” He make a hands flicking gesture at his goonies, “Add another Pull Cart of million dollars into the cup.” He stares at you, waiting for your bid.

Golf Term Total: 57

How much would you throw into the pot?
A) Standard one million of Pure cash
B) Punching The Greens with two millions, double the usual amount. Same as Mike.
C) Call in the Ranger! You just made a rare bin of three millions!
D) You are Ready Golf for four millions! The price of this whole golf course!
E) Regulation, In here now! Someone just bid for five millions! This is going into Guinness Record!
F) This is Rough on your spending budget, but six millions! You will feel poor if you lose your casino, which is the same price.
G)You will have to Scamble around equity and Shank for liquidation for many of your business! Ten millions!

Really, you would have to reschedule the tournament for a later time if you wish to sell more of your assets or write up law-binding property/business transfer contract if you want to bid higher.The trust have long been burned when someone in the past refused to pay for promised debt they own. That damned liar triggered a Shotgun Start to his Skull and now Sit in the Smoked Snowman’s Solheim Cup.

Golf Term Total: 69

Nyaa fucked around with this message at 12:31 on Apr 13, 2017

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

Golf Term Total: 69

What is happening?!? :psypop:

1G

No one can beat us at golf! No one can beat us at anything!!! We are the Bigly best President ever! This isn't a bet, this is an investment, as we're taking that cup home!!!

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Screw this guy, we're not just a real estate tycoon anymore, we're the leader of the free world! Let's challenge Assad and Kim Jong Un to a golf game. Stakes: their countries!

Poldarn
Feb 18, 2011

G gently caress it go all in.

I love the golf terms in almost alphabetical order.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

H If we lose, they get to pick a Liberal to get Droned. If we win, they have to go on a tour of all the 24 hour news networks and tell everyone how awesome we are.

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