FactsAreUseless posted:

Gold that has its atomic origins in the fusion of a star, as I recall.

Captain Monkey posted:

As opposed to all the gold that formed outside of stars?

Maxwells Demon posted:

No, purestrain gold is the gold that can trace it's roots back to the big bang and will not eventually decay into a different element. Non-purestrain is gold formed by supernovae and other mechanisms.

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

I'll tell her I know this great little restaurant that doesn't take reservations. That makes it sound cool, makes it sound exclusive. And then when we get to the restaurant, the restaurant is closed, as, of course, it always is on Sundays. So I'll feign surprise and say something along the lines of, "I guess we could grab a pizza and watch a movie at my place."

Spoeank posted:

This is a pro move.

Edit: what is this a reference to... I'm an idiot apparently

Captain Monkey posted:

As opposed to all the gold that formed outside of stars?

Syd Midnight posted:

Hours later, the younger monk could no longer contain his frustration. "As Monks Going Our Own Way, we don't serve females," he said the older monk, "especially loose acquaintances. It is dangerous. Why, then, did you print out that document for her? You didn't even get a hug."

"My dear brother" said the older monk, "I told her to load it in Publisher and save it as a PDF before emailing it to me. She only used my printer for a moment. Why are you still carrying yours?"

Mikl posted:

Only shooting stars break the mold.

Chichevache posted:

Bobby Digital posted:

Athropos posted:

Im sure thats someone's fetish. A retard rolling in mud for 30 minutes.

putrid aidsman posted:

Don't sign your posts

Nash posted:

I like to think of the Lizardmen as babysitters.

Mom and dad said feed the kids chicken nuggets and fries, watch Moana then put the kids to bed at 9. Problem is mom and dad never returned.

Now the children are in their 20's but the babysitter has the house all locked up. Every night is a chicken nugget and fries dinner. The Blu ray is broken and the babysitter doesn't understand digital. Everyone sits around a broken tv and closes their eyes. Together they perfectly recite Moana from memory and then go to bed.

Technically the instructions are being followed but everyone in the house is psychotic and broken.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Guys I just thought of a really good one what if um, what if you were doing a jack-o'-lantern, doing a jack-o'-lantern on, uh, Halloween, and you had a big pumpkin, a really big one, and it was like, too big to scoop it out on your own, so, okay, so keep following this, right, what if there was a store, a Halloween store that just scooped out the insides of pumpkins, all the seeds and pulp and stuff, and it uh, you could take the pumpkin there, in your car, whatever kind of car, you could take the big pumpkin and say to the guy - or the girl, okay, the store could have girls, yeah, Maurice, you don't have to start, I know, the store could have girls, okay - you could say to the guy that you want to have a jack-o'-lantern instead of a pumpkin, or that is you want the pumpkin to be turned into a jack-o'-lantern, but the guy doesn't have to carve the eyes and mouth and stuff, you can do that part, but he needs to scoop out all the insides because the pumpkin is so big, and the guy would be like, here's our fee scale, because they probably don't do a sliding income, uh, you know a sliding income thing, it's probably just based on weight or, um, yeah, maybe a per-hour fee or something, maybe he could give you a quote, I don't know, but you might look at it and be like, wow, the price of scooping is so high, the uh, another way to say that would be the cost of hollowing, or uh, I guess that would be the hollow, uh, I mean does that work, does that fit with what we're all doing?

Pirate Radar posted:

I don't understand. Can you explain it to me like I'm Sean Spicer?

Pirate Radar posted:

I don't understand. Can you explain it to me like I'm Sean Spicer?

Crazycryodude posted:

Oh holy poo poo that's terrible I thought it was just mildly amusing nonsense

Puns are literally worse than Hitler

theflyingorc posted:

actually puns are good and pun haters are stupid

most thread pun runs go on too long though

Roro posted:

Can't wait to see the fallout from a swathe of goons Googling "famous and obscure Nazis".

Karate Bastard posted:

Haha nobody will Trump that

fruit on the bottom posted:

I want to apologize to Improbable Lobster; he was right about all of this.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I want to apologize to Improbable Lobster; he was alt-right about all of this.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I want to apologize to Improbable Lobster; he was right about all of this.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I want to apologize to Improbable Lobster; he was right about all of this.