Evilreaver posted:

gas ghouls

quote:

I'm a high school senior. I'm what you would call a mischievous student. I bought a magnet. It's a pretty big magnet. Pretty cool looking magnet. Pretty loving strong magnet. I brought said magnet to school. I showed all my friends. Wed a little "Test Your Strength" booth that the security guards took part in. Point was to take it off a locker. Fun stuff. I had the magnet in my hand. I should've had it in the cardboard protective wrap. I walked into English Class and went straight to my teacher's desk to ask a question. I forgot I was holding said magnet. Said magnet jumps out of my hand and attaches to the drawer. All metal in the drawer jumped to where the magnet was stuck. There were CDs in the drawer. The stuff that flew must've scratched and cracked some CDs. CDs were unreadable. I was laughing too hard to take it off the desk. The substitute teacher was too weak to pry it off. He called maintenance to remove the magnet. Then security to remove me. I now have a Saturday School Detention and am facing a suspension for "destruction of property." I feel bad so I'll replace the CDs.

TL;DR: Don't bring a magnet to school.

sebmojo posted:

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Even ten year olds know you don't put magnets near CDs or computers.

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

magnets dont gently caress up cds.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Do they not? Why would my grade five IT teacher lie to me!

e: do they still gently caress up floppy discs at least

Zipperelli. posted:

Pacemakers get turned off by magnets, as well.

But assuming a 10th grader knows this is giving too much credit.

sebmojo posted:

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

magnets dont gently caress up cds.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Most of the first paragraph was pretty believable and then it just dove off a cliff into "adult trying to write like a wacky kid" territory.

Zipperelli. posted:

So, if it's widely known what MLMs are, and how much of a scam they are, why do people still buy into that garbage?

Zipperelli. posted:

Pacemakers get turned off by magnets, as well.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

They just had to add the poo poo cherry on top of that stdh sundae with the "they had sex too lol what a bunch of sluts" bit at the end.

Plus I highly doubt poison ivy is even physically capable of doing that. Even if you soaked the car in concentrated extract of whatever the poison stuff is in poison ivy, I'd be surprised if it wouldn't just evaporate within an hour.

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

jet fuel doesnt gently caress up cds.

Tunicate posted:

Yeah it's just a random quirk that humans are hyperallergic to it too - there's essentially no other animal that is.

Jerry Cotton posted:

loving magnets, how do they HNNNNNNNNNGHH-----------

sebmojo posted:

they don't gently caress up cds

Strom Cuzewon posted:

Doesn't it take at least two days to show symptoms? So the story is doubly bullshit with it happening overnight.

It's also not an ivy. And given that it's an allergic reaction I'd say it's not even poison. loving plants.

ReidRansom posted:

Most humans. Not all. I'm immune. Maybe as many as 30% are, apparently.

ReidRansom posted:

Most humans. Not all. I'm immune. Maybe as many as 30% are, apparently.

quote:

As the dad explains on Not Always Right, he took his son shopping to buy birthday presents for a girl in his class. They got her a wand, tiara, and jewelry for her to play dress-up, so while waiting in line the son put them on and pretended to be a queen. Unfortunately, that was just too much for the jerk in the next line over.

Son: *in a “posh” voice* “I’m the Queen and I say this line should move faster!”
(I and a few others smile at his playfulness when a man in line at the next till yells at me.)
Man: “You can’t let your son do that. If he turns into a f****t it’ll be your fault.”
(Everyone stops and stares at him in horror whilst the cashiers call for a manager.)
Son: “What’s a f****t?”
Me: “It’s a nasty word that only nasty people use so you mustn’t say it.”
Man: “It means gay, kid.”
Son: “What’s gay?”
Man: “It means you’re bad and going to Hell for being evil.”
Me: “It’s when a man loves a man and a lady loves a lady.”
Son: “Oh, like Uncle James and Uncle Ian?”
Me: “Yep, just like Uncle James and Uncle Ian. They’re not bad, are they?”
(My brother is a paediatric oncologist and his partner is a paediatric nurse. We’ve tried to explain what cancer is and how my brother and his partner make children feel better when they’re poorly.)
Son: “My uncles make children better when they have poorly blood and poorly bones. If you make them go to Hell that means you want the children to be poorly.”
(The manager and a security guard turn up but my son looks this man in the eye and holds his stare.)
Son: “Do you want the children to be poorly? Do you want them to be sick and have to go to Heaven?”
(Everyone is now staring at my son. The man has gone red and is looking around.)
Manager: “Sir, I believe you’ve just been outwitted by a child. You should leave now and keep your disgusting views to yourself and out of my shop.”

Tunicate posted:

Initial immunity generally isn't permanent (unless it's acquired through working in a cashew factory or something like that) - repeat exposure generally increases sensitivity.

EVG posted:

I think I've seen this one before, but a friend on Facebook just shared it. drat, I thought he was better than this.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Who says "are poorly" instead of like "are feeling poorly" or "their health is poor"? Is that a british thing or just dumb kid talk (not that those things are mutually exclusive)?

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Yeah, it's just a British thing. It sounds very affected if you're from like anywhere else. Source: I have a shitton of tiny British cousins and they sound like teenage girls doing terrible twee Harry Potter/Charles Dickens impressions all the loving time, it's bizarre

Catberry posted:

It's the same with bee stings. People think that you build up a tolerance by becoming exposed to it more but it's the exact opposite. A sting can go from a mild annoyance to a severe medical problem.