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Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016


It's too late! Noooooo

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Infinitum
Jul 30, 2004


http://i.imgur.com/bvr8xMN.mp4

Aussie Alliance Time

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Wanna hear a joke?


Australia fought a war against emus and lost.

Infinitum
Jul 30, 2004


Wanna hear a joke?


You elected Donald Trump, so you don't get to make jokes anymore.

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


Mr. F! posted:

Wanna hear a joke?


Australia fought a war against emus and lost.

the emus deserved the win

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Infinitum posted:

Wanna hear a joke?


You elected Donald Trump, so you don't get to make jokes anymore.

Not cool man

Bifauxnen posted:

the emus deserved the win

It's true, emus are awesome

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
War's no joke, son

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

When Australia was founded they had no clue what to call their money. So they asked this guy named Nigel. Now Nigel was one of the older fellers that lived in Australia, and he was there not for a violent crime but for a "white collar" crime. Though back in the day they didn't call them "white collar" crimes they called them "smarty pants" crimes.

Anyways they went up to Nigel and said "Nigel, what do you reckon we should call these pieces of paper and metal disks that people exchange for goods and services?"

And Nigel said "goods and services? GOODS AND SERVICES? What the bloody hell are those???"

Now while Nigel was guilty of smarty pants crimes, and everyone considered him the smartest man in Australia, well Nigel wasn't too smart. He was smart, don't get me wrong, but only in knowing things about America.

You see when he lived in England he sold fake tickets to posh lords and ladies on ships that didn't exist. Ships bound to good ole America. He's wear a nice suit, and produce very legible tickets. He'd set up in a town hall and advertise the great experience.

"In America they have driverless carriages!" He'd say and the crowd would gasp

"In America they wear shoes on their hands and gloves on their feet!" He'd say and the crowd would yell in disgust.

"In America they eat on golden plates with silver spoons and forks made of amethyst and emerald!" He'd yell and the crowd would ooh and ahh.

The tickets he sold were to a boat named The American Dream. He felt particularly clever about that aspect of it. "American dream my rear end," he said. "Let's see all you morons pile onto The American Dream."

Little did he know The American Dream did exist, and it did honor his phony tickets. The lords and ladies all took to their cabins and began their trip on their merry way, except for one couple. They missed the boat.

Somehow, a week later, that very couple ran into Nigel on the street.

"Excuse me, but can we have a refund for these tickets? We missed the boat and well it says here these tickets are refundable."

Nigel snorted and said "No it doesn't"

The couple looked at him with surprise and said "actually it does, right at the bottom in small letters there."

Nigel said "let me see that." And grabbed the offered ticket from the couple.

He peered down at the ticket and found it did in fact say it was a refundable ticket. But he hadn't written it there! "I'm sorry, but I can't refund this! You altered the ticket!"

The couple insisted they did not.

"You did, I know you did!" Nigel exclaimed.

The couple insisted again they did not.

Nigel was getting very angry now. "I made every ticket myself and I know my own handwriting thank you very much!! Now be off with you!!!!" Nigel bellowed.

The couple refused.

"You dumb Pollywog nincompoops!! I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THIS IS FALSE!!" He screamed. Spittle flew from his mouth and a vein in his neck bulged from the exertion. "Now be off with you!!"

Nigel's fit drew the attention of a passing police officer, who asked what was the matter. Nigel knew it was over with now. The jig was up.

He was sentenced to give the money he grifted back and then exiled to Australia, where he'd never trick anyone with his knowledge of America ever again. Or so they thought.

So when Nigel, the smartest Aussie alive, was asked by his brothers in crime what to call their monetary system it didn't take him long to say "In America they call their money dollars, so let's call our money Australian Dollars."

Infinitum
Jul 30, 2004


Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016


It's ok mate one day you'll be able to comprehend the words on this page :)

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!



speaking of that...

Bifauxnen posted:

Inf have you followed any of the Myst game? It was really good :3:

Infinitum posted:

I have not

This is unacceptable!

I am going to MAKE you read it :getin:



Once upon a time there was an Age called Something Awful 5a Sa. It was a fairly stable Age, but its people had some pretty hosed up traditions involving lynches and town and scum. In fact, even in the professional expeditions of the Sa Mapping and Archaeology Foundation (SAMAF), its members would sometimes land on some Age they were supposed to be exploring together, only to suddenly devolve into fighting each other to the death just to see who could score the most points.



Maybe that’s why they only sent 2 people out on this one. One day, a talented scout named Zulea O’Hara was out exploring some age called Pento (you don’t need to remember this name) with her beloved Captain: Operative Kent Daniels. And they found a MYST BOOK! This was a big loving deal.



They brought the Myst book back to Sa, and then made the first expedition to Myst. When they got there they found a library FULL of books, maybe they could even be more linking books! But there were 2 bad dudes setting them on fire! Captain Daniels confronted these evil men, only to get his rear end shot with a crossbow. What would happen next?!

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
Don't be too hard on Mr F, he's crippled by the burden of knowing that he'll never be as competent or popular as legendary player MG2

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Birdstrike posted:

Don't be too hard on Mr F, he's crippled by the burden of knowing that he'll never be as competent or popular as legendary player MG2

One day my posting strength will eclipse that of MG2, my nemesis, the source of all the dumb in the world.

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
The weather in Alaska is very hard to predict. It can change on a dime. A lot of people say it's the worst weather in the world.

Infinitum
Jul 30, 2004


Bifauxnen posted:

I am going to MAKE you read it :getin:



As a scum strat for sticking around, this is acceptable

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
Sara asks us to honour another as proof of worthiness to participate. But whom amongst us is fit to bear such nobility?

Surely not the coward Gehn who lurked out of sight until his opponents fell into a trap, the ugliness of his features only matched by the deformities in his personality.

Surely not the wretches who were so unwilling to lay down their arms that their fates were sealed. The strongest weapon is not something held in your hands, but rests inside your mind. Perhaps if Annie Carter had fought for the things she professed to care for the explorers may not have fallen into the trap, but too often she was satisfied to watch the killing happen in front of her, her hands clean but her conscience soaked blood-red.

Surely not Schelene, whose professed pacifism it is said disguised a thirst for combat, but at the critical hour remained out of action. It would be a mistake to say that their existence since The Fall was wasted; everything prior should be thrown away too.

But there is a man. He will go down in official history as a war criminal, and nobody will ever understand him... that was his final mission. And like a true soldier, he saw it through the end.

A man who submitted confessionals to complete his mission, even though nobody asked for them. Who continued to send PMs to others for the chance that it might make someone feel just a little bit better, even when it became clear that nobody was ever going to respond. Who would be condemned, but could never be silenced in the thread.

No one will ever learn the truth. His story, his confessionals, will endure only in my heart. Everything he did, he did for Sa. He sacrificed his life and his honour for his native land.

He was a real hero.

He was a true patriot.

##honour SLASHER HAWKE

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


Nvm birbs telling the story WAY better

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


Birb are you signing up for Riven btw? :dance:

chaoslord
Jan 28, 2009

Nature Abhors A Vacuum


##vote mr f Not reading that

chaoslord
Jan 28, 2009

Nature Abhors A Vacuum


Birdstrike posted:

##honour SLASHER HAWKE



:patriot:

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay

You're pretty good

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


Birdstrike posted:

You're pretty good

you're pretty good, did you hack into my postgame journal or what, cause drat

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
You were hamming it up as the tragic heroine, thanks to the script the Patriots Pera wrote for you. It was pure self-indulgence - you couldn't get enough of the drama.

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


Birdstrike posted:

You were hamming it up as the tragic heroine, thanks to the script the Patriots Pera wrote for you. It was pure self-indulgence - you couldn't get enough of the drama.

This has been well known for a while :v:

Infinitum
Jul 30, 2004


Current deadline is at 5pm AEST tomorrow.. but imma be in a training course all day to learn how to spot drunk people so I can get a job surrounded by drunk people, so I will likely miss it.

chaoslord
Jan 28, 2009

Nature Abhors A Vacuum


Infinitum posted:

Current deadline is at 5pm AEST tomorrow.. but imma be in a training course all day to learn how to spot drunk people so I can get a job surrounded by drunk people, so I will likely miss it.

I am a minor celebrity at chicken plants belonging to a certain company because, apparently, I look just like the drunk guy in the orientation video. I got asked for my autograph yesterday.

I should just accept my lot in life and tell people that yes, it's me.

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


Guess who's lurking!

chaoslord
Jan 28, 2009

Nature Abhors A Vacuum


Bifauxnen posted:

Guess who's lurking!

Do they have glasses?

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


chaoslord posted:

Do they have glasses?

Let me quickly consult my Facebook and a Myst wiki

Lumpen
Apr 2, 2004

I'd been happy, and I was happy still. For all to be accomplished,
for me to feel less lonely,
all that remained to hope
was that on the day of my execution
there should be a huge crowd of spectators and that they should
greet me with howls of execration.
Plaster Town Cop
##Vote Moatillata
##Honor Mr. F!

sentimental snail
Nov 22, 2007

DID YOU SEE MY
PEYOTE QUEEN?

next time on myst: second expedition arrives, no murders no bamboozles declared by society, bifauxnen causes multiple deaths by doing murders

GulagDolls
Jun 4, 2011

GulagDolls posted:

just padding my post count with this post since the number of pages of posts i have will be used against me as ammunition on day 6

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016


I'm going to remember this day 6 just you watch

Quidthulhu
Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

what's happening, guys, goodmorning

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


this is a stickup posted:

next time on myst: second expedition arrives, no murders no bamboozles declared by society, bifauxnen causes multiple deaths by doing murders

:ironicat:

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Could everyone in the game please make a post consisting of the following and only the following:

I am scum

Bifauxnen
Aug 12, 2010

Curses! Foiled again!


I am scum

Quidthulhu
Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

##vote Bif ez

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Quidthulhu posted:

##vote Bif ez

Please make the same post that bif did, one that says and only says:

I am scum.

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Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Mr. F! posted:

Could everyone in the game please make a post consisting of the following and only the following:

I am scum

EVERYONE PLEASE READ THIS POST AND FOLLOW IT.

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