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I just ran outta smokes in the middle of the night and wanted a bit of a break from the rear end-sitting, so I decided to walk to the local bodega. No sweat. Had myself a fine little walk except its humid as gently caress so I got a little soggy. No biggie. But on the way back to my apartment i took the wooded, creek side of the building rather than the cement, parking lot side. And I guess I disturbed some buck's dinnertime because he gave me that pissy little chuff deer do, out in the shadows, really loud. But I wasnt putting up with any of that poo poo. "gently caress you!" I told him, ignoring his continuing presence as he stared me down, contemplating a charge. That idiot better watch out. I'm in my thirties and chiller than I used to be, but I've killed a deer for less. poo poo I been murdering deer since I was ten years old when daddy still had to come with me. I'm basically a lapsed deer serial killer. And while I might seem calm and fine now, who knows what could set me off? Like for example some mouthy human being cuck deer gettin pissy with me right outside my home!
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May 19, 2017 09:02
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 08:32 |
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hrrmm yase indeed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVuYhaW3Dkk
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May 19, 2017 09:09
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Lamebot posted:hrrmm yase indeed See this is what happens when you decide u gonna take their poo poo just because theyre deer. Heeeeeell naw. Seriously considering whipping up some fava beans and a nice KEY ANT EEY over here. Thlurpurpurprup!
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May 19, 2017 09:11
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Oh and before anyone sez "did you watch the video? How are you planning on killing this deer if he fucks with you any more!" Good question. It's true, deer ARE fleet as gently caress and if a big buck wants to gently caress you up, they usually can. But deer have a huge weakness: they never invented firearms.
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May 19, 2017 09:16
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*homer simpson voice* D'oe!
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May 19, 2017 15:03
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I saw a deer this morning
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May 19, 2017 16:21
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I once knew a dirty mouthed deer. Very dirty. Extremely dirty. Like, dirtier than most porn tagged dirty talk. Every I'm I would pull into my driveway it would keep saying things like "hey, I see your horn" and "I'd ram that!" But it would never stop there. It usually starts kind of tame, but by the time I get to my door he's out there yelling some things I know are racist, and others I'm almost positive are incredibly racist. He's he reason I found out deer have this thing called double hooving, in vivid detail. Deer had serious game.
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May 19, 2017 16:25
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Uh that's like a mating thing dude, that little huff they do. Why don't you just have sex with him so I don't have to call you a homophobe in front of all these nice children. 
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May 19, 2017 16:25
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deer rut in the fall, not spring
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May 19, 2017 16:34
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I saw an episode of "When Animals Attack" in which a woman had her face caved in by a deer while she was jogging. Perhaps it is you who was let off easy, this dude is on his forum of choice talking about how he almost "Matthew Shep'd" some guy for talking like a sissy while smoking. Really makes you think about what an amazing world we live in...
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May 19, 2017 21:06
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Zorodius posted:*homer simpson voice* D'oe! A deer!
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May 19, 2017 21:07
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I wouldn't want to fight a deer
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May 19, 2017 21:09
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Gay Weed Dad posted:I saw an episode of "When Animals Attack" in which a woman had her face caved in by a deer while she was jogging. Perhaps it is you who was let off easy, this dude is on his forum of choice talking about how he almost "Matthew Shep'd" some guy for talking like a sissy while smoking. Really makes you think about what an amazing world we live in... Could've been worse... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0ZoMK7J2os
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May 19, 2017 21:10
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Repo Man posted:Could've been worse... This seems like it would be worse than needing facial reconstructive surgery only because those chicks seem basic as gently caress. Apparently deer hooves can be quite sharp and filthy so it is no good if they actually get you when they hear you running your bitch mouth.
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May 19, 2017 21:14
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Uh that's like a mating thing dude, that little huff they do. No it is not. That means "I see you, predator, GTFO".
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May 19, 2017 21:26
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Deer are basically large vermin in a lot of the north but people get poo poo on for hunting them now thanks to Bambi.
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May 19, 2017 21:31
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Deer are those things you shoot when you've already filled your elk tag 
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May 19, 2017 21:40
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln1ucGoPvWk
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May 19, 2017 21:45
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Zorodius posted:*homer simpson voice* D'oe! D'oh*
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May 19, 2017 21:56
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Skeleton Ape posted:No it is not. That means "I see you, predator, GTFO".
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May 19, 2017 22:17
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ElectricSheep posted:A deer! A female deer!
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May 19, 2017 22:51
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Skeleton Ape posted:No it is not. That means "I see you, predator, GTFO". Idk dude deer don't run when they see me. They just look like "wtf is that?" and then go about their poo poo. Bears, cats, they run the hell off. 
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May 19, 2017 23:10
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Whatever the systemic roots of the problem are, the best solution at this point is to shoot a bunch of deer. They're full of tasty meat, they're not going to go extinct, there's literally no reason to be against killing deer beyond being overly sentimental or contrarian. Also gently caress deer forever. They're a god damned menace and more of them need to be killed as often as possible. The hunter from Bambi is film's greatest hero. They are all tick-infested, disease-spreading pieces of poo poo and a bullet to the heart is too clean a death for those walking piles of genetic failure. They are like a horse on meth, all jittery and skittish all the loving time. They're disgusting and repulsive and they make sounds like the souls of aborted babies in hell make when they gasp for air as they rise up from a lake of boiling blood. In short, murder all deer. Then eat them. They taste good for a reason.
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May 19, 2017 23:30
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For further proof:
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May 20, 2017 00:19
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geez have some respect
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May 20, 2017 01:02
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I'm a deer IRL and here's what I think of your grandstanding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErflxFDf6eQ Quit smoking in the forest! I know Smokey the Bear!
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May 20, 2017 01:08
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Wamdoodle posted:I'm a deer IRL and here's what I think of your grandstanding: lmao
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May 20, 2017 01:34
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EorayMel posted:For further proof: Yeah, word. Stupid to talk poo poo when you have this much tasty meat inside you. Hes lucky he didnt also do that angry little jackasss stomp they do. I would have started chewing on his backstrap then and there.
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May 20, 2017 03:07
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EorayMel posted:For further proof:
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May 20, 2017 03:10
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 08:32 |
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OP the deer was out dogging and you didn't reciprocate in the way it expected probably messed with its head quite a lot
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May 20, 2017 22:18
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