|
Welcome to an LP series dedicated to Riho Futaba and the Simple 2000 series, you poor bastards. WHO IS THIS RIHO FUTABA?  Riho almost started a singing career in 2004*, but her main job is being the incidental mascot of the Simple series by D3 Publisher. You know, the series which gave us such classics as Earth Defense Force and... Onēchanbara, and... uh... The Sniper 2, Snowboard Racer 2, Metropolismania 2, Street Boyz, and that's just the poo poo that was localised. *actually, it's a game soundtrack CD. RIHO LIVES EVERYWHERE. Riho has starred in a couple dozen games, but at least half of them are basically poker for the DS or the PS2, and many have never left Japan. That includes:    The title of this one is, apparently, 'Love*Smash! 5.1 ~The Rebellion of Tennis Robo', and it almost made it to Europe. There's also:   Ew. ############################################# THE GAMES:  ############################################# Riho's Western appearances are weird and colourful. We'll start with the game that made Riho famous: Demolition Girl /2004.05.20/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 50. THE 大美人 (The Gigantic Beauty)   Wait a minute, I've seen that Euro skyline.  Thanks, 505. Now I want to see Riho in Raw Danger. As the danger. I messed up the recording resolution, so there's a black border for this one   Video #1: Model Unleashed. Video #2: Run away!Next up: smiling in the face of perversity: Paparazzi /2004.06.24/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 53. THE カメラ小僧 (The Camera Apprentice)   Something got lost in translation, I fear.  Video #3: Not pizza.Next up: all dressed up and no cars to throw: Fitness Fun /2004.02.26/ Originally Simple 2000 Ultimate Volume 18. ラブ★エアロビ♪ (Love*Aerobic)   Why take a rhythm game about a bikini model workout and make the cover look like it's aimed at women?  Video #4: Deprivation.Next up: The Club Fight. Fighting Angels /2004.06.24/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 55. THE キャットファイト (The Catfight: Woman Cat Legend)   The titles should be swapped between the two cover variants.  Video #5: Riho's favourite pastime!Next up: Fire Pro Wresting Rejects. World Fighting /2003.12.18/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 42 THE 異種格闘技 ボクシングVSキックVS空手VSプロレスVS柔術VS… (The Various Unarmed Fighting Disciplines: Boxing vs Kick vs Karate vs Pro Wrestling vs Jujitsu vs...)   Thank you, 505 Games. That Japanese title is distilled incontinence.  Video #6: Fighting round the world.Next up: too sexy for PEGI. Pink Pong /2003.12.11/ Originally Simple 2000 Ultimate Volume 15 ラブ ピンポン (Love*PingPong)   - Sure, the original cover is fine, but we need to make it sound like it's a porn movie.  Video #7: The worst ping pong.Next up: wet floor. Party Girls /2004.09.30/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 63. もぎたて水着!女まみれのTHE 水泳大会 (Fresh-Picked Swimsuits! The Swim Meet of Covered Woman) [I'm getting these insane translations off Wikipedia.]  No, I'm not showing the PAL cover here, watch the video.  Video #8: Guaranteed fun for all!Next up: smelly girl. Zombie Hunters /2005.06.23/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 80 THE お姉チャンプルゥ 〜THE姉チャン特別編〜 (The Sister Champloo ~The Sister Special Compilation~)   Hey, put Riho back on the cover, you bastards  Video #9: Riho's true age. Video #10: They did lots of tests on me. Video #11: The undub patch.Next up: the best game? Zombie Hunters 2 /2006.06.29/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 101 THE お姉チャンポン 〜THE姉チャン2特別編〜 (The Sister Mixture ~The Sister 2 Special Edition~) [Same sodding symbols, plus '2'. Why is the translation different?]   I've seen that Aya picture before.  Video #12: Time for a nice, hot shower. Video #13: Goh the Crow. Video #14: Soon, it'll be over.Next up: the Simplest of them all. All-Star Fighters /2005.12.15/ Originally Simple 2000 Volume 91. THE ALL★STAR格闘祭 (The All*Star Fighting Festival)   How sweet of the European cover designer to add a character from a never-localised game.  Video #15: Slutty Pikmin. Video #16: Riho Cubed.And that was all I've got on Riho Futaba. Let's never talk about it again. #####################################################  Ramos invites us to take a peek at Riho's fandom  
SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Aug 9, 2017 |
#
?
May 22, 2017 17:06
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 18, 2024 15:19 |
|
|
That's called a woman, game. EDIT: Watched the first mission and what the gently caress? Space Kablooey fucked around with this message at 17:39 on May 22, 2017 |
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 17:29
|
|
|
Onboard the train wreck for me too
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 17:59
|
|
|
I wasn't expecting a kamehameha but sure why not
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 18:05
|
|
|
I remember seeing this in an old Tips&Tricks magazine. (Jesus I'm old  )
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 18:15
|
|
|
I'm not entirely sure what this is, watching the first video quite honestly might've confused me even more, and I'm not sure if my life wouldn't be better if I erased that memory and just ignored this thread entirely. Needless to say I'm following this instead because I can't ignore such weird trainwrecks.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 18:27
|
|
|
Oh, so basically this game is about molesting giant bikini anime waifus with helicopters? Sure, I'm in.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 18:43
|
|
|
How much Narcotics did you shoot into that idol? Are you her manager or something?
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 18:47
|
|
|
Oh come on, you're playing as the helicopter? We don't even get to go and wreck some buildings? I guess it's time to see how deep the wank hole goes.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 19:37
|
|
|
Godspeed, SelenicMartian. You are a pilgrim in an unholy land.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 19:57
|
|
|
Okay, I wanna see where we're going with this.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 20:00
|
|
|
inscrutable horse posted:Godspeed, SelenicMartian. You are a pilgrim in an unholy land.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 20:31
|
|
|
I have no words.
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 22:22
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 23:27
|
|
|
Yeah, in the Japanese version the news segments are voiced of course. As is the opening cutscene, which is in-engine animated rather than a series of stills, not really sure why they needed to do that. The Riho voice clip at the start of the first mission starts is actually (Japanese) words instead of something incomprehensible and seemingly pitch-shifted. The, uhh, pince-nez glasses is sleeping incense, I can't even guess how they got to that from there. I can't match it to anything that makes sense besides that one of the (three) kanji in it looks like one of the kanji in 'glasses'. So, yeah, lazy localisation, as if anyone needed confirmation.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 00:44
|
|
|
Where the hell do you find these games 
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 03:47
|
|
|
CommissarMega posted:Where the hell do you find these games
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 04:43
|
|
|
This is a beautiful disaster. I have to see more.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 05:14
|
|
|
My mind went to the completely wrong place when I saw that name. ModEdit: Removed bad link. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) Somebody fucked around with this message at 10:08 on May 24, 2017 |
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 05:40
|
|
|
What the gently caress
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 09:13
|
|
|
Malachite_Dragon posted:What the gently caress
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 09:19
|
|
|
Just fyi everyone who posts in this thread is going to prison
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 10:35
|
|
|
You probably should've led off with the more normal games.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 12:01
|
|
|
Malachite_Dragon posted:What the gently caress Strap in boyo, yer in for a ride  Added Space posted:My mind went to the Why does that almost always come up when there's a character called futaba. Nalesh fucked around with this message at 22:16 on May 24, 2017 |
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 13:51
|
|
completely wrong place when I saw that name.
|
I didn't realize the gigantism/anesthetic/tentacle head/laser eyes fetish was big enough to warrant a video game.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 17:27
|
|
|
That's an unforgivable level of inaccuracy in the aircraft. The Blue Angels are in the US Navy. The US Navy never used the Beagle so you couldn't have that as a color choice.  (You could have said the Wonderbirds, but of course they fly the P16 Malcon, unlike the G18 Cornet of the Navy pilots). And the Euro cover is arguably a more accurate Seattle skyline than the RAWDANGER one, what with that silly looking water.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 19:26
|
|
|
Kangra posted:G18 Cornet Um, excuse me, but I believe you mean the G/B-18 Cornet. 
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 19:30
|
|
|
The video is up in 360p but youtube is taking its sweet time with the rest of processing. Video #2: Run away!
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 20:13
|
|
|
I
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 20:49
|
|
|
Aliens coming from the space
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 22:44
|
|
|
Please don't tell me not to wear a bikini while playing this game. It's a totally normal fetish.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 12:11
|
|
|
im the jiggle physics
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 14:36
|
|
|
Well, that was... that was a thing, apparently. Are the others as screwy as this? I can't imagine the poker/tennis stuff to be terribly interesting. Also, Riho looks too old for what I understand "idol" to imply. The game seems to use "idol" and "model" interchangeably.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 15:13
|
|
|
azren posted:I can't imagine the poker/tennis stuff to be terribly interesting.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 17:51
|
|
|
SelenicMartian posted:Many of them are just regular budget games with bikinis. However, Demolition Girl is canon and there will be references to her in a couple of much later games. I'm glad we have an established lore for Futaba, does it come as part of a multiverse as well?
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 21:28
|
|
|
what
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 21:35
|
|
|
This is the best videogame I've ever seen E: I feel she should know better than to walk through the buildings, killing thousands in the process Namtab fucked around with this message at 00:03 on May 25, 2017 |
|
#
?
May 24, 2017 23:50
|
|
|
Namtab posted:This is the best videogame I've ever seen As the last video pointed out, she was very, very high due to the same toxin that made her a giant. I'm not sure she realized those were buildings.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2017 04:00
|
|
|
What is this scintillating offal? The menus and splash screens are delightful. I Was An Atomic Mutant sounds interesting, but I know I've played similar with much better production values after checking out a YouTube vid for 2 minutes, so I can skip it. excellent presentation, though. E: I'm using Awful App and I literally fat-fingered my way into this thread while moving my iPad. Serendipitous.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2017 05:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 18, 2024 15:19 |
|
|
Recorded some more and, uh... That's Riho's day job.
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2017 13:26
|
|