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Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

by R. Guyovich

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

The Internet loves to scream about how retail slaves can't even TOUCH you, yet that's not true at all and the 'stco manager I spoke to told me they've had to hold people for police to arrive a few times now.

it's good stuff like this that keeps Costco prices down and them dogs + refill at $1.50!!!!

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Bucnasti
Aug 14, 2012

I'll Fetch My Sarcasm Robes
Costco Employee Stories on Imjur

A faithful administer of Costo's love posted:

Working in returns at costco will probably make you the most spiteful person in the whole drat warehouse. You will meet some of the nastiest, shameless most smug people on the planet. Some guy had the balls to return a mattress that he had purchased years ago. Normally something like this would be exagerated, but his mattress was tinted loving orange. poo poo was practically color coded with all the poo poo that went down on that filthy thing. It stank, it was gross to look at and I was not touching it. I gave him two mattress bags and told him to wrap that thing the gently caress up before it came anywhere near the counter. A woman tried to return a camera that she had bought about a year ago. We have a VERY generous return policy being 90 days to bring electronics back. After that, you're on your own. She wanted the updated Nikon camera she had purchased a year ago for the newest model. We denied her and she was up in arms. Tears, yelling and rage. She had claims of calling this warehouse and speaking to some woman who had never worked here, but didn't even have proof of calling any Costco warehouse in the area. After about 20 minutes of this, a manager came over and gave her the full refund. the smug look on her face made me want to drop kick her right into traffic.

What is worse, an unbeliever? Or someone who abuses the privilege of Costco?

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

The Internet loves to scream about how retail slaves can't even TOUCH you, yet that's not true at all and the 'stco manager I spoke to told me they've had to hold people for police to arrive a few times now.

i'm going to believe a law professor over a costco manager

Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017

Bucnasti posted:

Costco Employee Stories on Imjur


What is worse, an unbeliever? Or someone who abuses the privilege of Costco?

Abusing Costco's return policy makes it less likely that they will keep it as awesome as it is currently.
Those people are the worst.

Dely Apple
Apr 22, 2006

Sing me Spanish Techno


I have an eye exam at the 'co today, is it legal to go this many times in a week?

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Dely Apple posted:

I have an eye exam at the 'co today, is it legal to go this many times in a week?

Not only is it legal, it is your civic duty.

spite house
Apr 28, 2009

I said an untrue thing, disregard

Nfcknblvbl
Jul 15, 2002

If it makes you feel any better, they will terminate your membership permanently if you gently caress with them too much (like buying and returning electronics all the drat time).

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

Nfcknblvbl posted:

If it makes you feel any better, they will terminate your membership permanently if you gently caress with them too much (like buying and returning electronics all the drat time).

I actually witnessed a member termination once. poo poo was intense.

unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

I actually witnessed a member termination once. poo poo was intense.

what, you're just going to tease us with this story and not give any deets?

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
where the gently caress are my costco coupons goddammit

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

unpleasantly turgid posted:

what, you're just going to tease us with this story and not give any deets?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpipp4LfzrM

Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

by R. Guyovich

i wish those lovely youtubers would get banned from costco, their fake garbage ilk don't belong with the REALNESS of $1.50 hot dog + refill drink

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe

Nfcknblvbl posted:

If it makes you feel any better, they will terminate your membership permanently if you gently caress with them too much (like buying and returning electronics all the drat time).

loving A, Costco for life

When I worked retail, my number 1 burning hatred was reserved for all the assholes who constantly game the system, deprive other customers of service, and get rewarded for it. Good job, Costco.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

C. Everett Koop posted:

where the gently caress are my costco coupons goddammit

They'll be out Friday.

A Pack of Kobolds
Mar 23, 2007



Did anyone else get the Foodsaver vacuum sealer that was on sale? That fucker is going to take my Costco savings to new and dizzying heights.

Dr. Capco
May 21, 2007


Pillbug
I'm gonna buy a dog and a pizza slice today from the Costco. And you know I'm throwing the pep and parm all over both of those mofos.

:discourse:

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Did you know that if your membership expires and you still have the card, you can still get gas?! Praise be!

take me you ANIMAL
Nov 28, 2002

Congrats big boy

Rutibex posted:

i'm going to believe a law professor over a costco manager

I'm going to believe a doctor over a rutabaga.

Croatoan posted:

That's the one. they switched it from 1 64oz jar to 2 32oz jars wrapped together. Might have gone up to $10 but still god drat thats a good deal. I eat them on salads or chicken over the course of like 3 -4 months.

I also buy their roaster chicken two packs for like $7-8 depending on the weight.

Found those once with a $4 rebate, paid three bucks for two whole chickens.

take me you ANIMAL fucked around with this message at 23:30 on May 23, 2017

Richard M Nixon
Apr 26, 2009

"The greatest honor history can bestow is the title of peacemaker."
We at Whole Foods will continue to look smugly at the Costco masses, but re: shoplifting, our annual sales losses due to shoplifting were around a half million dollars. We have several armed security guards on call in the building, at least 2-3 undercover guards walking through the store all day long (they actually carry baskets with food to blend in and have kevlar lined backpacks) and there's a room in the back of the store where they take shoplifters to be held until the cops arrive. Several times I've seen people being lead out in handcuffs. I didn't realize how seriously retail stores took shoplifting until I started seeing how they operate from the inside.

After reading all the Costco hot dog talk, I picked up stuff to make my own dogs last week. Brioche buns, organic grass fed uncured dogs, house-made relish, and organic stone ground mustard - about $30 for 8 dogs, but it was good. :smugdog:

A Pack of Kobolds
Mar 23, 2007



Richard M Nixon posted:

We at Whole Foods will continue to look smugly at the Costco masses, but re: shoplifting, our annual sales losses due to shoplifting were around a half million dollars. We have several armed security guards on call in the building, at least 2-3 undercover guards walking through the store all day long (they actually carry baskets with food to blend in and have kevlar lined backpacks) and there's a room in the back of the store where they take shoplifters to be held until the cops arrive. Several times I've seen people being lead out in handcuffs. I didn't realize how seriously retail stores took shoplifting until I started seeing how they operate from the inside.

After reading all the Costco hot dog talk, I picked up stuff to make my own dogs last week. Brioche buns, organic grass fed uncured dogs, house-made relish, and organic stone ground mustard - about $30 for 8 dogs, but it was good. :smugdog:

Burn every Whole Foods to the ground. PBUC

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

Burn every Whole Foods to the ground. PBUC

Richard M Nixon
Apr 26, 2009

"The greatest honor history can bestow is the title of peacemaker."

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

Burn every Whole Foods to the ground. PBUC

But then where will hip college students buy their vegan asparagus water and soy pizza? Nowhere.

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

unpleasantly turgid posted:

what, you're just going to tease us with this story and not give any deets?

it's not a long story, I was in line to return a bookcase when the woman at the front of the line just blew up. she was shouting and screaming at the Costco lady behind the counter about how they had to take the return, you can't terminate my account, I'll sue you, etc. The receipt checker (a fat old guy) ran over saying that he was calling the cops to make her leave. she stormed out screaming and cussing at everyone.

looking back the funniest part is how all the customers couldn't have given less of a poo poo. people didn't even move out of their place in receipt check line.

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
Blessings on that good man and those good customers. That lady was not One of Us.

Bucnasti
Aug 14, 2012

I'll Fetch My Sarcasm Robes

Richard M Nixon posted:

After reading all the Costco hot dog talk, I picked up stuff to make my own dogs last week. Brioche buns, organic grass fed uncured dogs, house-made relish, and organic stone ground mustard - about $30 for 8 dogs, but it was good. :smugdog:

You could have had 20 1/4 lb dogs (that's 5 whole pounds) with 20 20oz sodas (that's over 3 gallons)with refills for that much money if you would have just accepted Costco into your heart instead of trafficking with blasphemers at Whole Foods.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOUR SOUL

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


Prokhor Zakharov posted:

it's not a long story, I was in line to return a bookcase when the woman at the front of the line just blew up. she was shouting and screaming at the Costco lady behind the counter about how they had to take the return, you can't terminate my account, I'll sue you, etc. The receipt checker (a fat old guy) ran over saying that he was calling the cops to make her leave. she stormed out screaming and cussing at everyone.

looking back the funniest part is how all the customers couldn't have given less of a poo poo. people didn't even move out of their place in receipt check line.

I'm not giving up my spot in the receipt check line

Cyborganizer
Mar 10, 2004
Went to Costco to pick up a single $0.18 4x6 photo print, walked out spending $160 on various fresh fruits, a fancy outdoor Bluetooth speaker with LED lights, frozen Normandy veg blend, a cooler bag to keep the veg in, and a mocha freeze. This seems to happen a lot to me.

ExplodingSims
Aug 17, 2010

RAGDOLL
FLIPPIN IN A MOVIE
HOT DAMN
THINK I MADE A POOPIE


Richard M Nixon posted:

But then where will hip college students buy their vegan asparagus water and soy pizza? Nowhere.

And nothing of value was lost.

ExplodingSims
Aug 17, 2010

RAGDOLL
FLIPPIN IN A MOVIE
HOT DAMN
THINK I MADE A POOPIE


Also, on my last trip, I was pleasently surprised to find that the sell the 32 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper there: :cheers:

Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017

Whole Foods is the loving worst.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
my local whole foods was one of the ones they closed and its cool and good

pacerhimself
Dec 30, 2008

by Fluffdaddy
Got my tires installed today, ate a dog while waiting.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

pacerhimself posted:

Got my tires installed today, ate a dog while waiting.

Its only Tuesday and look at all the success you've already had this week!

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


"hi I'd like a whole food not half a food the whole thing" - imagine saying this like some kind of an idiot

maniacripper
May 3, 2009
STANNIS BURNS SHIREEN
HIZDAR IS THE HARPY
JON GETS STABBED TO DEATH
DANY FLIES OFF ON DROGON

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

The Internet loves to scream about how retail slaves can't even TOUCH you, yet that's not true at all and the 'stco manager I spoke to told me they've had to hold people for police to arrive a few times now.

If you are actually breaking the law they can detain you. If you aren't breaking the law and they detain you it's they that are breaking the law.

FCKGW
May 21, 2006

maniacripper posted:

If you are actually breaking the law they can detain you. If you aren't breaking the law and they detain you it's they that are breaking the law.

wrong

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Cyborganizer posted:

Went to Costco to pick up a single $0.18 4x6 photo print, walked out spending $160 on various fresh fruits, a fancy outdoor Bluetooth speaker with LED lights, frozen Normandy veg blend, a cooler bag to keep the veg in, and a mocha freeze. This seems to happen a lot to me.

Don't buy fresh fruit at costco. There are some exceptions but for the most part it's not a good deal.

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

pacerhimself posted:

Got my tires installed today, ate a dog while waiting.

did you get the $70 off instantly set because I know I did

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Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

by R. Guyovich
Costco's margins must be so low they're nearing communist no profit levels, yet has such a capitalist internal doctrine

Just goes to show that compassionate capitalism does communism better than real communism ever could

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