A Japanese Vending Machine Where You Can Buy Asses

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little munchkin

Putting my 1500 yen into the high-tech machine and although my japanese is weak, I am able to navigate the menus and purchase an rear end out of the 30 or so I have to choose from. Just another of the many things that you'd never see in western culture.

# ? Jun 1, 2017 16:26

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 18:24

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

*A commercial where a stylish girl is repremanded by her friends for not having an rear end. Ashamed, she considers throwing herself in front of a subway, but across the tracks notices an Asahi Heavy Industries & Special Metallurgy Assotronic Vendymatic. She doublejumps to the far side safely, deposits her coins, and YATTAS! when the rear end drop out*
*Before returning to cafe, she slips her new rear end into her side-zipper pencil skirt, only to have it tear open! She is chagrined, a man on a scooter plows into a concrete planter*
*Upbeat jazz fusion plays over a shot of a model rear end, somewhere on a rocky beach. Freeze frame on a gust of seafoam.*

crimes

# ? Jun 1, 2017 16:59

cda: by Hand Knit

Shaking this machine because the rear end won't fall out.

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# ? Jun 1, 2017 17:01

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

*A row of elderly war vets sip beer in a park while I bust out a fuckin' bazonkers bongo solo on the largest vended rear end purchaseable without a license*

crimes

# ? Jun 1, 2017 17:03

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

imagine being the person who has to restock the rear end machines. driving around on your moped in the middle of the night, stacking rear end, not being paid enough to afford one yourself... the true face, or cheek, of poverty

# ? Jun 1, 2017 17:11

Cable Guy: I don't expect any trouble, but we'll be handing these out later...

Better than The rear end Factory Sweat Shop.... that's one asinine labour.

# ? Jun 1, 2017 17:20

Darkman Fanpage

ah perfect i love to eat rear end

# ? Jun 1, 2017 17:28

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

Darkman Fanpage posted:

ah perfect i love to eat rear end

make sure you stand still and eat rear end. unlike the occidental world, the japanese consider it extremely rude to eat rear end while walking

# ? Jun 1, 2017 18:17

google THIS

And never leave your chopsticks in the rear end because that symbolizes death.

# ? Jun 1, 2017 18:47

google THIS

gently caress, I meant to pick the "big ol' rear end" and I accidentally hit the "big rear end" button. I guess I'll just get both.

# ? Jun 1, 2017 18:48

Sham bam bamina!: ƨtupid cat

you... you purchased an rear end from a vending machine? my rear end isn't enough?? b-baka hentai! *bludgeons with a magically appearing giant mallet*

# ? Jun 1, 2017 19:54

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

*inserts money into the vending machine*
*sees a golden ticket come out*
where's my rear end?! I wanted an rear end! I paid for and want my rear end!
*is hauled off by the kindly japanese policemen for interrupting the peace*

camera zooms into golden ticket that has indecipherable writing. subtitle reads: congratulations! you have won a lifetime supply of big ol' asses and are cordially invited to big al's big ol' rear end emporium

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Jun 1, 2017 20:27

Macnult

I pressed the button several times and the machine is giving me nothing but sass

# ? Jun 1, 2017 21:50

FutonForensic

rear end. earl gay. hot

# ? Jun 1, 2017 22:05

vanisher

*puts in coins*

*donkey is led by mechanical arm out of machine*

# ? Jun 1, 2017 22:23

google THIS

Chill la Chill posted:

*inserts money into the vending machine*
*sees a golden ticket come out*
where's my rear end?! I wanted an rear end! I paid for and want my rear end!
*is hauled off by the kindly japanese policemen for interrupting the peace*

camera zooms into golden ticket that has indecipherable writing. subtitle reads: congratulations! you have won a lifetime supply of big ol' asses and are cordially invited to big al's big ol' rear end emporium

Big Willy Daddy Donka

# ? Jun 1, 2017 22:50

Plebian Parasite

three things i love about tokyo:

-piping hot authentic ramen
-its crazy poppin off nightlife
-the thud as 10 pounds of rear end hits the vending machine tray

# ? Jun 1, 2017 23:51

Scaly Haylie

google THIS posted:

Big Willy Daddy Donka

# ? Jun 2, 2017 00:01

Sham bam bamina!: ƨtupid cat

Plebian Parasite posted:

10 pounds of rear end

so you're a pedophile. "when in rome" i suppose

# ? Jun 2, 2017 04:21

Plebian Parasite

Sham bam bamina! posted:

so you're a pedophile. "when in rome" i suppose

i like to mix and match so i try to buy one cheek at a time

# ? Jun 2, 2017 04:26

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

google THIS posted:

Big Willy Daddy Donka

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Jun 2, 2017 05:17

little munchkin

you can tell this rear end used to belong to a sexy schoolgirl with blue hair, because it's got a picture of a sexy schoolgirl with blue hair on the package

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jun 2, 2017 13:17

google THIS

Macnult posted:

I pressed the button several times and the machine is giving me nothing but sass

S rear end is the highest possible grade of rear end, as any good AAR player knows

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:12

FutonForensic

i always get freaked out when i watch Charlie and the rear end Factory and watch that german boy get sucked up into an rear end. freaked out, and jealous

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:52

pork steaks: a lovely boy

FutonForensic posted:

i always get freaked out when i watch Charlie and the rear end Factory and watch that german boy get sucked up into an rear end. freaked out, and jealous

I liked the part where the tv kid got farted out of an rear end and was turned into millions of invisible smell particles

# ? Jun 2, 2017 17:11

google THIS

let's not forget the part where the girl got thrown down the "garbage chute" by a bunch of "small rodents" because she and her dad were "bad nuts"

# ? Jun 2, 2017 17:35

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

It seems like the opening and closing montage of every 1970s yakuza-themed movie features two Shiba dogs in some derelict junkyard, playing a vicious game of tug-of-war with a discarded vending machine rear end.

HIGHLY SYMBOLIC!

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jun 2, 2017 18:07

a fragile ego

google THIS posted:

let's not forget the part where the girl got thrown down the "garbage chute" by a bunch of "small rodents" because she and her dad were "bad nuts"

That scene really predicted the tide for American politics in 2017. I always recommend the film to anyone who asks me where i stand on the political spectrum

# ? Jun 2, 2017 20:35

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

There's a lot more room for rear end in my bike saddle. Don't be shy, stuff your vending machine rear end in there

# ? Jun 2, 2017 21:06

FutonForensic

i have to buy my rear end from a machine, because whenever i buy one from Trader Joe's the cashier always always has to raise an eyebrow and say, "someone's having fun this weekend" and draw everyone's attention to it

just PUT the rear end in the BAG lady

# ? Jun 2, 2017 22:22

google THIS

TFW you're trapped into a conversation with your neighbor on your way in and one of your grocery bags distinctly farts

# ? Jun 2, 2017 23:04

Manifisto

FutonForensic posted:

i have to buy my rear end from a machine, because whenever i buy one from Trader Joe's the cashier always always has to raise an eyebrow and say, "someone's having fun this weekend" and draw everyone's attention to it

just PUT the rear end in the BAG lady

# ? Jun 2, 2017 23:57

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

So in Japan you can get hot or cold rear end out of a vending machine and get this!! Tommy Lee Jones is on the adverts for rear end over there. There's one ad where he climbs a mountain to meet a wise-man who hands him a hot rear end and he finds enlightenment.

# ? Jun 3, 2017 00:08

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

google THIS posted:

TFW you're trapped into a conversation with your neighbor on your way in and one of your grocery bags distinctly farts

# ? Jun 3, 2017 00:37

FactsAreUseless

Pretty sure this is literally the plot of some messed-up porn manga.

# ? Jun 3, 2017 00:38

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

rear end ideas:
An rear end vending machine merging with a panty corporation
A cafe rear end in a food truck town
An rear end on an evidence table
Leaving your new rear end in a wingstop

# ? Jun 3, 2017 01:29

alnilam

Sinbad from the movie First Kid gives the speech about the president literally chewing his rear end off and how he literally won't have a butt anymore

First kid is like "dude I've been to Japan... Come with me..."

# ? Jun 3, 2017 02:08

little munchkin

HotSoapyBeard posted:

So in Japan you can get hot or cold rear end out of a vending machine and get this!! Tommy Lee Jones is on the adverts for rear end over there. There's one ad where he climbs a mountain to meet a wise-man who hands him a hot rear end and he finds enlightenment.

lol

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jun 3, 2017 03:16

Twenty Four

cda posted:

Shaking this machine because the rear end won't fall out.

Oh yeah! Shake that rear end!

# ? Jun 3, 2017 12:08

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 18:24

byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

HotSoapyBeard posted:

So in Japan you can get hot or cold rear end out of a vending machine and get this!! Tommy Lee Jones is on the adverts for rear end over there. There's one ad where he climbs a mountain to meet a wise-man who hands him a hot rear end and he finds enlightenment.

is that all it takes :smith:

# ? Jun 3, 2017 18:00

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