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To Question The Goddess Your mind races. A thousand questions and answers in your mind. Quackeen looks straight through you, addressing the issues presented at their core.  Dog Kisser posted:
"It is the wont of mortals to Tremble before My visage, but I find it tiring. If you must quiver in awe, do it elsewhere, or gather your wits and tell me what you know." --- Cornuto posted:... is that Beyonce with a duckbill photomangled onto her face? Perhaps we can bond with this similarly unnatural amalgam of flesh. "If you find My visage terrifying, I would advise against seeking the council of My Sister." --- Outrail posted:Ah, I have answers that, apparently, you do not. The rules of supply and demand demand we bargain. "You are in no position to bargain, lost and confused at the very bottom of the world. Only by My Limitless Grace do you yet live." --- Nyaa posted:"Dear Quacken, on account of what transpired would required accural method to properly record what erroneously occured, but an arbirage like you would su "Get to the point." --- Outrail posted:I can assure you I came across all that I carry by legal means, by your means in fact. There Bias Two posted:You do not recognize me at all? We just made a deal to kill two trolls that had planned to attack your church. Something...happened to me. I don't understand it. I am myself and also not. Dog Kisser posted:Yeah, I'm cool with this. super sweet best pal posted:Explain that through some mishap using powers of an unknown nature we have become a walking clerical error but are still technically the person she made a deal with. Assure her that even though this gives us a technical loophole out of the agreement, we are still keeping up our end of the bargain; our job is halfway done and we are taking a break. Kegslayer posted:Tell Quackeen that as the highest ranking member of ITEC, we are the current legal representative and have a power of attorney with the contract holder who is currently unavailable. We're here to renegotiate and outsource the remainder and completion of the contract back to her. CourValant posted:“Greatest Quackeen, Goddess of all which glitters, we struck a contract, and something went wrong. Theantero posted:"I seem to have fused with my cousin into a single body. It is a bit inconvenient." Your mouth makes the Shape of Lies, uttering the impossible, but your heart clings fast to Truth. You are broken. You are perplexing. 1: If you are who you say you were, show me your Identification, and bring others forth to testify - I know they are near." A: Do as She commands. Who do you bring? Write-in. B: End the communion. --- Skellybones posted:"I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle." "I can tell."
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Jun 16, 2017 08:40
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I literally don't know what to say
words:
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A: Skvababt - She can attest to the us side of "us", Johakim - We're fine physically, just not metaphysically, but we should still have a doctor weigh in. Also, get Lolth in on divine conference call, the threads of our lives are tangled and her horrible visage or not, we seriously need an expert on that.
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Jun 16, 2017 08:54
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Show Birth Certificate.
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Jun 16, 2017 14:00
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Show her the birth certificate. At some point, examine yourself while wearing both gauntlets. I'm curious if having the set gives us anything as far as a tactile bonus. This might be an interesting time to eat a cupcake.
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Jun 16, 2017 17:18
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A
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Jun 16, 2017 18:10
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Konnie - He has the workman's eye aka he knows who pays him. And he knows that Kvelgrim is his boss.
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Jun 16, 2017 21:44
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birth certificate frog and doctor as witnesses
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Jun 16, 2017 23:06
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super sweet best pal posted:A: Sure why not.
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Jun 16, 2017 23:10
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Let her question any of our companions she wishes to query, we/I have nothing to hide on that account.
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Jun 17, 2017 00:52
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A clerkical error. You take your Birth Certificate from its scroll case and hand it to your Goddess. She floats it in front of herself and scowls as she parses the erroneous information contained within. "This is not a forgery, but that only makes it worse. You will be a Citizen, Mr. Kvelgrim, and that affords you some rights, but not within your lifetime, and that is unacceptable. Your witnesses, then?" You call Skvababt, Johakim and Konnie over. They wisely kneel in the presence of an actual deity. ---  "Your grace, mhm, this is not the man I followed to the Dark End of the world. His gait, his scent, his speech is different. Only his height and memories remain. What I saw was Thorgrim screaming as Kvelar was crushed into the mud. He fought a Troll, and the Troll won. It escaped, but the other one was just oh so recently slain. This man is not the same man, yet I have never met one so different as Mr. Ironscript, oh how he turns my world. It has been, mhm, so exciting being by his side. Every excursion has us blindly wandering into the unknown, yet he always takes us out the other side, worse for wear but more the richer. So, he is not the same. Yet when was he ever? Is he the Thorgrim I remember? No, but he is the one I will come to know."  "This ain't like nothin' I've ever seen. We was fighting in your Name, when one Troll made to end Mr. Ironscripts cousin with a devastating club blow. We all saw it, how Kvelar was pushed into the swamp as Thorgrim screamed and fell upon himself. I came to his aid soon after, thinking potential drownin' 'd be an easier fix than a caved in skull, but what I saw instead was this, the man before you. Now, I don't doubt that he ain't not our man however, as hes got the mannerism and the gloves and whatnot. This ain't the first time he fell asleep on us neither, an' he always comes out of it somewhat stranger. I suppose today was stranger than most? As far as I can tell, he is Kvelar and Thorgrim at once, though Thorgrim is the speakin' part. As to the how, I have no idea."  "Tsh, the Boss is the Boss whatever shapes he takes, I say. As long as he has the plans and money, he's got ol' Konnie" <at this point, Konnie winks suggestively at Quackeen>. "Yeah, I saw what happened. Big ol' troll thought it could whack our Kvelar, but he dun disappeared just before the smackdown, or so I reckon. There was an awful splashin and all, but I was near an' saw no body, nor flyin' parts or buckets worth of blood. Boss fell down, right enough, and when he got up he was both of em. Right strange, but thems the truth, guvnae. Honest." <A smile any salesman would be proud of.> --- "The Truth is a precious, fragile thing. It cannot abide regularities. It vexes me to even think it, but your identification is Wrong. You, Mr. Kvelgrim, must set it right. You are to leave for Karg when your business here is concluded, there to present yourself before the Imperial Census for inspection. If you are who you claim, their archives will contain what you need to prove it. An escort will be provided for you. Should you attempt escape, your meager rights will be forfeit. Johakim will lead [ITEC] and serve as your guardian, with all rights, debts and duties of [ITEC] transferred to his person until such a time as the founders are properly found or separated. Do not imagine for a moment that any of this will be free. Considerable resources must be put to work, but it shall be worth it, for the sake of the Empire." --- 2: Now, unless you had some other business - I am a very busy Goddess..." A: Try to convince her to end the contract with [ITEC] only half fulfilled. Claim the monstrous dog as your reward and the one dead troll as your payment. Technically you will have to convince Johakim this is a good idea, but he probably wont argue it since he is quiet keen to get out of here asap. B: Try to convince her to end the contract with [ITEC] only half fulfilled. Claim your two questions as your reward and the one dead troll as your payment. Technically you will have to convince Johakim this is a good idea. He will probably disagree since he wants to get out of here asap C: Try to convince her to end the contract with [ITEC] only half fulfilled. Forfeit your reward, but offer the one dead troll as appeasement. You do not know how Johakim would react, except that he would be likely to accept any idea which gets you out of the caves sooner. D: Something else? Write-in E: Nothing else! I return to camp and rest, tomorrow we attempt to find the missing troll that we may slay it. Hopefully the remaining Zbats will be easier to Zednapp.
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Jun 17, 2017 11:45
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Use our knowledge of accounting to suggest that ITEC no longer exists under the terms stipulated in the contract, by her explicit order, and therefore must be renegotiated by her and J.
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Jun 17, 2017 12:09
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There Bias Two posted:Use our knowledge of accounting to suggest that ITEC no longer exists under the terms stipulated in the contract, by her explicit order, and therefore must be renegotiated by her and J. Johakim is already doing the negotiating, but if you want him to re-negotiate the entire deal he still needs to know what reward to claim for the price of one or two troll lives. He's a field-medic, not a scribe nor does he have any experience leading a monster hunting company. He has no idea how to write monster hunting contracts, much less so with the actual Goddess of Contracts. Unless you give him very specific instructions things might end badly for you. Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at 12:49 on Jun 17, 2017 |
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Jun 17, 2017 12:44
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E
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Jun 17, 2017 13:31
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Swedish Thaumocracy posted:Johakim is already doing the negotiating, but if you want him to re-negotiate the entire deal he still needs to know what reward to claim for the price of one or two troll lives. Also ask him to make us his attorney so that we can still write the contract for him.
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Jun 17, 2017 13:52
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There Bias Two posted:Also ask him to make us his attorney so that we can still write the contract for him. This and A, I want a monstrous and violent yet loyal doggo to hang out with the owlbears.
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Jun 17, 2017 17:58
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Ask if there's any special mission/quest that we with this legal mess of an identities can do for her.
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Jun 17, 2017 18:05
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Authority as attorney + E
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Jun 17, 2017 18:13
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There Bias Two posted:Also ask him to make us his attorney so that we can still write the contract for him. This
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Jun 17, 2017 18:52
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Whoa whoa whoa, how the hell does she get to stipulate our company structuring and leadership.
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Jun 17, 2017 20:45
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Telsa Cola posted:Whoa whoa whoa, how the hell does she get to stipulate our company structuring and leadership. Queen Bae does what she wants. 
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Jun 17, 2017 20:54
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E + Pray to Lolth
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Jun 17, 2017 21:08
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C: Try to convince her to end the contract with [ITEC] only half fulfilled. Forfeit your reward, but offer the one dead troll as appeasement. + Attorney
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Jun 17, 2017 21:46
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Telsa Cola posted:Whoa whoa whoa, how the hell does she get to stipulate our company structuring and leadership. Legally there is no 'us' yet.
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Jun 18, 2017 03:34
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dont be mean to me posted:Legally there is no 'us' yet. Yes but why is she acting like she is in the postion to be able to dictate those restructuring/leadership roles. Isnt that something that the regulatory monster hunting board or whatever should do. She is talking and acting like she controls and owns ITEC when she is someone we had a contract with. If she wants that power then she needs to become a major shareholder and support our company via cash or divine favor on a constant basis. Im going to Vote C. We hosed up but also kinda did not so lets just cut our loses and go deal with this fusion thing without her over our head. Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Jun 18, 2017 |
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Jun 18, 2017 04:03
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Telsa Cola posted:Yes but why is she acting like she is in the postion to be able to dictate those restructuring/leadership roles. Isnt that something that the regulatory monster hunting board or whatever should do. She is talking and acting like she controls and owns ITEC when she is someone we had a contract with. The two highest postions in the company were held by Dwarf Dude and Dwarf Cousin. Neither of those entities seem to exist now so leadership falls down to the next guy.
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Jun 18, 2017 04:18
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I think A is the best option here in the long run. SpeedyDog could be a fantastic tracker/bloodhound for ITEC, which would be oodles of useful for a scrappy band of monster hunters. Defaulting but offering the one corpse as a holocaust of sorts seems like Lolth's thing. Quackeen would probably get pissed that we're for all intents and purposes purchasing a debt. Renegotiation is where it's at. + Claim position as chief all around smarty-pants guy for ITEC until this KERFUFFLE is sorted out. Blasphemaster fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Jun 18, 2017 |
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Jun 18, 2017 04:25
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Skellybones posted:The two highest postions in the company were held by Dwarf Dude and Dwarf Cousin. Neither of those entities seem to exist now so leadership falls down to the next guy. Thats a fair point. Im not too keen on her making us take an escort which we will have to pay for though.
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Jun 18, 2017 04:39
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Telsa Cola posted:Yes but why is she acting like she is in the postion to be able to dictate those restructuring/leadership roles. Because she is literally The Goddess of Contracts, Business, The Economy, Trade, Greed, Money, Greed, Commerce and Greed. There is no 'higher authority' than the very concept itself. That she deigns deal with you at all is due to the fact that you will apparently exists as a citizen in the future, according to your identification. You don't exist yet, however, so your influence over these affairs is technically null. Fortunately for you, Johakim will still listen to your legal advice, even if he has objected to your monster hunting decisions in the past. He has less qualms about you not existing than others. Telsa Cola posted:Thats a fair point. Im not too keen on her making us take an escort which we will have to pay for though. Blasphemaster posted:Defaulting but offering the one corpse as a holocaust of sorts seems like Lolth's thing. Your accounting sense tingles something fierce. Whilst you haven't dealt with the Goddess face to Visage before more than once, you know from your many hours of looking over trade-contracts what it is like for some poor chap or chapette to get fleeced by a veteran trader. Could it be that the Goddess of Trade, the very embodiment of Greed, is expecting you to counter her somewhat ridiculous demands? Is she testing you? At the same time, you have good reason to believe she would be upset about you (via Johakim) renegotiating the contract. Probably because neither of you will really get what you want? You have even better reason to believe she would be upset over you simply defaulting to no profit of your own. What sort of a legitimate business person would do that? One that will soon go bankrupt. And bankrupt people don't contribute to the Economy.
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Jun 18, 2017 09:02
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I'd rather not have the god of greed angry at us. And for us to include exit clauses in our future contracts.
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Jun 18, 2017 11:03
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E Can we sell/outsource the remainder of the contract to someone else? Being unable to complete a contract is pretty poor form and will only hurt our relationships and our reputation in the future. Let's just leave, finish up with the zbats and come back when we're more prepared.
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Jun 18, 2017 12:19
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Kegslayer posted:Can we sell/outsource the remainder of the contract to someone else? You cannot do anything more than advice Johakim at the moment. Could he outsource it, if you advised him? You'd have to approach one of your rivals first. It would be a blow to your reputation. Also it is highly unlikely that anyone else could even find the troll down here, assuming they made it past the bats. You have at least an inkling of where it went. Who is to say where it will be in a weeks time?
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Jun 18, 2017 12:49
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Swedish Thaumocracy posted:Who is to say where it will be in a weeks time? We got a dog.
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Jun 18, 2017 12:54
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Finally caught up! Great CYOA mr. I'd say E to finish this contract and find the bats. We still have 1 acid bottle thingie left right?
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Jun 19, 2017 14:05
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ElPedro posted:We still have 1 acid bottle thingie left right? Great idea! Maybe if we pour it on our face we can untangle ourselves.
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Jun 19, 2017 14:12
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Remember how all this was caused by looking for an exotic animal trainer?
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Jun 19, 2017 14:21
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Nyaa posted:We got a dog. We could probably trade him for a cat. We still need the zbats to make any forward progress here.
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Jun 19, 2017 15:31
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Skellybones posted:Remember how all this was caused by looking for an exotic animal trainer? Don't look back, look forward.
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Jun 19, 2017 18:23
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Remember how this all started when we didn't pick a duck?
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Jun 19, 2017 19:57
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A plus power of attorney.
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Jun 20, 2017 00:37
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ElPedro posted:Finally caught up! Great CYOA mr. Thank you! I'm glad you have been enjoying yourself! Welcome to the team, try not to die! You have [02] Bottles of highly pressurized acid left. --- Nyaa posted:Ask if there's any special mission/quest that we with this legal mess of an identities can do for her. "Always." Her eyes light up when you suggest this, but busy as you are with negotiations you do not press further at this time. Perhaps when you are done with your current contract? --- Voting is closed.
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Jun 20, 2017 08:51
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