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Avocado is gross crap except in guacamole, cilantro is disgusting for non-soap reasons, zucchini is the blandest crap ever (but pickles are awesome and go with everything) this has been Yawgmoth's Hot Takes on Food
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Jun 27, 2017 16:22
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Yawgmoth posted:Avocado is gross crap except in guacamole, cilantro is disgusting for non-soap reasons, zucchini is the blandest crap ever (but pickles are awesome and go with everything) This post is cursed!
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Jun 27, 2017 16:24
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OwlFancier posted:carrot, Woah, easy there with the addition of some kind of color.
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Jun 27, 2017 16:24
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Yawgmoth posted:Avocado is gross crap except in guacamole, cilantro is disgusting for non-soap reasons, zucchini is the blandest crap ever (but pickles are awesome and go with everything) Pickled zucchini
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Jun 27, 2017 16:29
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When I was a kid I always assumed zucchini was the inspiration for the snozzcumbers in The BFG.
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Jun 27, 2017 16:47
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Jun 27, 2017 17:03
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Why the gently caress wouldn't you just let your kid be a loving vegetarian? Forcing a child to devour dead animals is metal as gently caress, but not great parenting. Also, how dumb is your loving kid that he doesn't notice??
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Jun 27, 2017 17:14
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That doesn't look like any meat I recognise
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Jun 27, 2017 17:19
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Why the gently caress wouldn't you just let your kid be a loving vegetarian? Forcing a child to devour dead animals is metal as gently caress, but not great parenting. Also, how dumb is your loving kid that he doesn't notice?? If he eats that stuff he's probably like 3 years old, which answers all of your questions.
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Jun 27, 2017 17:26
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yeah I eat rear end posted:If he eats that stuff he's probably like 3 years old, which answers all of your questions. You have a point. Still, I feel bad for him. The theme of this post is "imagination is bad":     This is a "tuna and mackerel picnic loaf":  And this is the Gourd of Eternal Nightmares: 
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Jun 27, 2017 17:35
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Run the gourd through deep dream
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Jun 27, 2017 18:40
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Why the gently caress wouldn't you just let your kid be a loving vegetarian? Forcing a child to devour dead animals is metal as gently caress, but not great parenting. Also, how dumb is your loving kid that he doesn't notice?? It turns out that small, growing children need more nutrition and protein than what you get in sugary fruit.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:46
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:And this is the Gourd of Eternal Nightmares: That pumpkin has HPV!
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Jun 27, 2017 18:49
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Croatoan posted:That pumpkin has HPV! Human Pumpkin Virus?
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Jun 27, 2017 18:49
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Dienes posted:It turns out that small, growing children need more nutrition and protein than what you get in sugary fruit. Isn't it also really bad for a toddler to be on a vegan diet, unless their parents are drat near literally dieticians?
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Jun 27, 2017 19:03
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whiteyfats posted:Isn't it also really bad for a toddler to be on a vegan diet, unless their parents are drat near literally dieticians? Yes, in fact I think it's actually been ruled child abuse in a few cases because there's such a serious risk to the child's long-term health.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:37
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whiteyfats posted:Run the gourd through deep dream 
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Jun 27, 2017 19:58
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This thread consistently produces the most unnerving pictures.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:09
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 What hath God wrought?
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Jun 27, 2017 20:13
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Xen Tricks posted:Yes, in fact I think it's actually been ruled child abuse in a few cases because there's such a serious risk to the child's long-term health. Who knew forcing a creature that evolved as an omnivore to eat an unnatural diet would have long term effects? 
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Jun 27, 2017 20:14
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Who doesn't love ova and ovipositor covered in a rich bearnaise?  ...I was googling for an image of an actual ovipositor and jesus h christ you can buy an ovipositor dildo that shloops silicone eggs up your orifice of choice. Just search for "ovipositor" under images, it's the third result what the gently caress internet 
WITCHCRAFT has a new favorite as of 22:10 on Jun 27, 2017 |
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Jun 27, 2017 22:07
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Looking at the food, the first thing I thought of was bird poop. 
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Jun 27, 2017 22:17
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p-hop posted:Who doesn't love ova and ovipositor covered in a rich bearnaise? I learned about ovipositor dildos from the Dildomancer thread and I have never quite slept soundly since
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Jun 27, 2017 22:22
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elise the great posted:I learned about ovipositor dildos from the Dildomancer thread and I have never quite slept soundly since You work in a hospital.
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Jun 27, 2017 22:29
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OVIPOSITOR DILDOS. THATS NOT OKAY. That poo poo freaked me out so bad that real live humans make fun of me for it. Last night I had dinner at a friend's house and she made glutinous rice balls in ginger syrup, which was actual food porn, except that halfway through my eating it she leaned over and noted that they looked like jelly eggs for an ovipositor dildo. And I mean, I compare seeping wounds to guacamole and speculate on the meringueability of albumin-heavy ascites fluid all the time at work, but I also really don't like bugs in wounds or medical maggots or, you know, fluke infestations in lung tissue or whatever. It gets to me. The idea of a giant beetle laying eggs in someone's butthole accesses my lizard-brain terror switches in a way that makes butt-egg dildos just... profoundly inexplicable to me. I've been on the internet for a looooong time and this is really the first thing that I just literally cannot imagine being a real fetish.
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Jun 27, 2017 22:39
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Could I use an ovipositor dildo to deposit glutinous rice balls straight down my throat without chewing them? Asking for a friend
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Jun 27, 2017 22:42
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I would like to note that I ate my share of glutinous rice balls AND the shares of several people who found them AFP-worthy despite the egg thing. And today I'm having tapioca bubble tea.
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Jun 27, 2017 22:43
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Jun 27, 2017 22:50
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elise the great posted:OVIPOSITOR DILDOS. THATS NOT OKAY. elise have I ever said that you're my favorite poster on the forums because you are on a side note, I used to draw terrible fetish porn to pay rent and there was a surprising number of folks that are really into bugs and egg laying. like, it was one of the more common fetishes I was commissioned for. it never really grossed me out, tho, it was more of a "...huh." type of thing for me. honestly fish-vagina guy's stuff was weirder to me.
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Jun 27, 2017 23:57
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elise the great posted:OVIPOSITOR DILDOS. THATS NOT OKAY. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bnpv85/the-emerging-fetish-of-laying-alien-eggs-inside-yourself
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Jun 28, 2017 00:01
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quote:Fans say the sensation of mushy extraterrestrial ovum slopping out of them is a real treat. Made it that far into the article, could not stop shuddering, had to back out. I think that's like... the intro paragraph. Anyway I apologize wholeheartedly to anyone who enjoys my writing, you should sue your parents, and also to anyone who came to this thread looking for vile food instead of bugs in butts. I should post a picture of my partially-eaten 12oz jar of black sesame paste that I've been spooning into my face at 0300 when the preggo pangs strike.
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Jun 28, 2017 00:08
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Sociopastry posted:honestly fish-vagina guy's stuff was weirder to me. Fish's vagina on a woman Woman's vagina on a fish Yep, weird either way.
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Jun 28, 2017 00:14
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NoEyedSquareGuy posted:Fish's vagina on a woman Nope! Fish in vaginas.
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Jun 28, 2017 00:16
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Olive Garden tonight! posted:Nope! Fish in vaginas. That's not weird, that's just Japan's culture you bigot
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Jun 28, 2017 00:26
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Olive Garden tonight! posted:Nope! Fish in vaginas. That's not how you make a star-gazey pie
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Jun 28, 2017 00:28
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:some people are allergic to [...] garlic. It me. I swear it was the most disappointing moment of my life when I realized what was making me feel so lovely. That said, it won't kill me, just makes me feel like poo poo so as long as I'm prepared to deal with the consequences, sometimes I just go for it and stuff my face with garlic bread.
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Jun 28, 2017 00:38
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stargazy pigs.
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Jun 28, 2017 01:12
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If I ever get diagnosed with a lethal allergy to garlic my wife is going to come home to find me dead on the floor, mouth stuffed with still warm garlic bread and pesto and a note reading "it is for the best, no regrets"
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Jun 28, 2017 01:29
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:And this is the Gourd of Eternal Nightmares: It looks like those legs. you know that of which I speak.
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Jun 28, 2017 01:52
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elise the great posted:Made it that far into the article, could not stop shuddering, had to back out. I think that's like... the intro paragraph. A couple years ago an old friend and her boyfriend invited myself and some others over to play board games, and the topic of sex toys came up. He said he collected some weird ones, and came out with a shoebox of bad dragon dildos for us all to  at.Those ovipositor ones are loving gigantic, bigger than you think they are. The actual eggs must be as big or bigger than chicken eggs.
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Jun 28, 2017 02:57
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