Fartbox posted:

so i went on another tinder date

forgot my belt in her hotel room

sigh

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

She kept it to hang herself

syscall girl posted:

it was just a few people who did this horrible thing

it's like saying Mike Nelson is a goon (technically he is)

or that woman who made funny webcomics

or that guy who made awful videogames

all technically goons but it's not a good descriptor

little munchkin posted:

one of the funniest bits of forums history to me was the time that goons collectively decided that a thin person was the scariest thing they could think of

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

plus he was dressed respectably in business attire

Field Mousepad posted:

Didn't Andy Milanakis(sp?) post a bunch of dumb poo poo here and got banned?

Reformed Pissboy posted:

Learning about horse cum is 100,000 million times better than hearing about what some dipshits on facebook said or whatever. And I don't even like horse cum THAT much

Rev. Bleech_ posted:

Strange memories on this nervous night on SA. Nine years later? Twelve? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. The internet in the early 2000s was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run… but no explanation, no mix of image macros or GIFs or photoshop threads can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the internet. Whatever it meant...

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights—or very early mornings—when I logged off of Portal of Evil half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed my broadband modem at the newest Photoshop Phriday or Comedy Goldmine at 20 megabits per second wearing my fiestacat t-shirt, booming through the Weekend Web, not quite sure which link to follow when I got to the other end (always hesitating when I came to a FARK link, too twisted to find the back button)... but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were posting photos with 48-point impact text over top: No doubt at all about that...

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not on OldManMurray, then over at Seanbaby's. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning, and that Keep It Real would be unbanned.

And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of FARK and ebaum. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our photoshops and habbo invasions and bigpeeler stories would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave.…

So now, less than fifteen years later, you can go into PYF and check the Greatest Forum Sagas thread, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

barbecue at the folks posted:

Heath posted:

Does someone have a link to the "f-fingerblast that little turd" story?

Ingmar terdman posted:

I was wondering why the giant was credited as Tane in this episode but then I realized hes the original orb dad

Heath posted:

Does someone have a link to the "f-fingerblast that little turd" story?

Eight-Six posted:

Goldmined.

Solice Kirsk posted:

That and the Fragmaster(?) posts about his mangled dick are my favorite on topic derails of all time. I can never find the dick one though. Anyone got a link to that one? I think at one point he was talking about how it's all lumpy and misshapen and he would try to masturbate by rubbing a toothbrush on a spongy part of it that could still feel sensation. And that it was the size of two hotdog buns, but not end to end.

Solice Kirsk posted:

That and the Fragmaster(?) posts about his mangled dick are my favorite on topic derails of all time. I can never find the dick one though. Anyone got a link to that one? I think at one point he was talking about how it's all lumpy and misshapen and he would try to masturbate by rubbing a toothbrush on a spongy part of it that could still feel sensation. And that it was the size of two hotdog buns, but not end to end.

syscall girl posted:

I'd also like to see that, even though I'm not really familiar with it at all. However I think Kirk (and later Smythe) had the best genital mutilation posts

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3459842

kirk one there

smythe idk even the search terms

Solice Kirsk posted:

Found it! It was David Thorpe not Fragmaster:

http://www.somethingawful.com/news/my-genitals/1/

edit:
I could have sworn it was a post in a thread first, but maybe I'm remembering incorrectly.

Eight-Six posted:

Goldmined.

syscall girl posted:

I'd also like to see that, even though I'm not really familiar with it at all. However I think Kirk (and later Smythe) had the best genital mutilation posts

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3459842

kirk one there

smythe idk even the search terms

cda posted:

Hi...I...I uh...I discovered something disturbing about Steve Harvey.



Ok...no problem so far...



Oohkayyyy...weird, but good, why not



Wait...wait a minute...



Holy. loving. Shitballs.

mind the walrus posted:

Not seeing it?

mind the walrus posted:

Not seeing it?

Solice Kirsk posted:

That and the Fragmaster(?) posts about his mangled dick are my favorite on topic derails of all time. I can never find the dick one though. Anyone got a link to that one? I think at one point he was talking about how it's all lumpy and misshapen and he would try to masturbate by rubbing a toothbrush on a spongy part of it that could still feel sensation. And that it was the size of two hotdog buns, but not end to end.

Sex Hobbit posted:

oh gently caress I remember that one. he did his toothbrush JO routine in front of a chick once and she got so grossed out she left, and he just shrugged and kept doing it? he kept doing the toothbrush thing until his sack got all swollen with blood and old jizz and he had to have it lanced in the emergency room or something

mind the walrus posted:

Not seeing it?

Quaint Quail Quilt posted:

My GF had fungus from mold in the walls colonize her ear, (she said the drops they gave her were the most pain she'd ever endured) it also gave the cat backnee.
They barely treated it so we moved.

Bozart posted:

you should keep your realdoll in a dry place

Digirat posted:

The taser-coated car nonlethally slamming into you at 70 miles per hour unexpectedly causes a traffic cone to slightly intersect one of your feet. Your 300-pound muscle body made entirely out of meat and biceps instantly turns into soft jelly as your limbs horribly contort and spack every which way, each passing frame rapidly blurring the line between man and cone. Within one second you are no longer in contact with the earth, but now spinning erratically through the air as if in a vacuum, limbs spastically snapping and reaching out in impossible directions, furiously trying to separate your hapless physical form from the ravenous clutches of the cone--But it is too late. In a matter of moments your amalgamated mess of a body is horrifically mangled into the geometry, and as more of your nonlethally-subdued form is forcibly intersected with the wall and floor, the faster the eldritch transformation takes place. When you no longer bear any resemblance to the generic muscle goon you once were, only a contorted and agonized mass of finely-tessellated polygons stretching away into the skybox, your only hope of salvation is for what used to be one of your legs to get propelled far enough beneath the map that it finally reaches the vast expanses of the kill volume. At last you find sweet release from this farcical hell as it coldly and uncaringly deletes you in a frame.

InequalityGodzilla posted:

Y'know the monkey story was still funny in a dark sort of way but hearing a second hand account of a dude's hosed up dick is just kinda

TIME TO STOP READING.

sebmojo posted:

Trig Discipline posted:

Let me guess, Car Boys fan fiction?

Spanish Manlove posted:

His next addition will be a soap dish with a button underneath it that unleashes a spring loaded gay man who's holding a bottle of red wine and a manicure set.

Wilford Cutlery posted:

Menu pricing at the new Falcons stadium:

http://dailysnark.com/falcons-set-new-stadium-food-prices-2-hotdogs-5-beers-2-sodas-unlimited-refills/

Silly Burrito posted:

I hope all the food has tiny Falcons logos on them so they can be properly labeled as choking hazards.