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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Lime Tonics posted:

Ponca City acting gig turns into murder for hire plot

Federal agents arrested Danielle Dana Layman, aka Danielle Givati, on a murder for hire complaint

A resident responded to her Craigslist listing for an acting job
Layman allegedly gave the resident ricin and plans to kill someone in Tel Aviv, Israel

http://www.fox23.com/news/ponca-city-acting-gig-turns-into-murder-for-hire-plot/548485629

$4000 for international murder?!

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UwUnabomber
Sep 9, 2012

Pubes dreaded out so hoes call me Chris Barnes. I don't wear a condom at the pig farm.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

$4000 for international murder?!

But they got to go to sunny Israel!

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Dylanthulhu posted:

But they got to go to sunny Israel!

Florida's sunny enough, I would think. Also, $1000 was supposed to cover travel.

Take the plunge! Okay!
Feb 24, 2007



Smuggling ricin into Israel sounds like a really bad idea

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Take the plunge! Okay! posted:

Smuggling ricin into Israel sounds like a really bad idea

I hear hiding it in a pack of gum is the way to go

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I just read through the Israeli articles, the taxi driver is indeed Danielle's ex who she's in a custody battle with.
He appeared to be just as surprised as we are to hear the news.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


:cop: listen bro we've gotten reports that someone might be trying to kill you.
:aaa: wait what?
:cop: we can't disclose any more information at this point but keep a low profile and watch out for aggressive drivers.
:aaa: WTF.
One week later.
:foxnews: Danielle has been arrested for soliciting a murder.
:aaaaa: what the actual gently caress?

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


ricing? 🤔

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Are vials of ricing an illegal modification of cars?

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Are vials of ricing an illegal modification of cars?

No, they're like steroids for the competitive cake-baking industry.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Can you even get to Tel Aviv and back for $1000?

Edit to add: the best deal I could find Tulsa-->Tel Aviv was $1,500 round trip. Checked Kayak, Priceline, and Cheapoflights.

AlbieQuirky has a new favorite as of 21:00 on Jul 4, 2017

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

AlbieQuirky posted:

Can you even get to Tel Aviv and back for $1000?

Yeah, if you're anywhere around a major international airport, if you buy a ticket either enough in advance or are very flexible last minute, and if you're willing to have a layover. Not sure about going from Oklahoma, though, that might add too much to the ticket, plus at least two layovers total.

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

This lady must have a really low opinion of actresses if she thought just anyone that replied to a Craigslist audition ad would be down for murder.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


She must have spent weeks researching and refining the poison and then she goes for the absolute dumbest way to deliver the payload.
Excepting perhaps just mailing it to the Ex and scribbling "male enhancement formula" on the envelope.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

She must have spent weeks researching and refining the poison and then she goes for the absolute dumbest way to deliver the payload.
Excepting perhaps just mailing it to the Ex and scribbling "male enhancement formula" on the envelope.

I don't know. If I got a letter that just said "Penis Powder" on the front I would instantly pour that poo poo down my urethra like a pixie stick.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


But are you a taxi driver?

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05-6zJjwbl4

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
"Baby's coffin found in Philadelphia with organs inside, but no body "
Fuuuuuuuuuck :catstare:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/07/04/babys-coffin-found-in-philadelphia-with-organs-inside-but-no-body.html

cenotaph
Mar 2, 2013



Typical American. Won't eat offal.

Bogan King
Jan 21, 2013

I'm not racist, I'm mates with Bangladesh, the guy who sells me kebabs. No, I don't know his real name.
Police raid gay orgy at cardinal’s Vatican apartment. Link to pastebin because gently caress giving the paper that printed that story clicks.

TFA posted:

Cardinal Coccopalmerio is said to have recommended his aide for promotion to bishop, but those plans are likely to be disrupted by news of the orgy and by a period spent recovering from a drug overdose in a Rome hospital and another in an Italian monastery.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Since when is the Catholic church this much fun? I feel left out.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

One of the Popes used to have orgies at the Vatican.

ncumbered_by_idgits
Sep 20, 2008

The MSJ posted:

One of the Popes used to have orgies at the Vatican.

Just one?

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
no that's not an orgy that's onanism

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

The MSJ posted:

One of the Popes used to have orgies at the Vatican.

One or more of the Borgias, I take it?

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
John XII, Innocent VIII, Sixtus IV, Boniface VIII are some that come to mind.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
What about Pope Corky IX?

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

AlbieQuirky posted:

John XII, Innocent VIII, Sixtus IV, Boniface VIII are some that come to mind.

Not that innocent! :v:

Lord Hydronium
Sep 25, 2007

Non, je ne regrette rien


There was literally a whole period called the Pornocracy.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Lord Hydronium posted:

There was literally a whole period called the Pornocracy.

If I ever play one of the ten thousand games where you can play as Germans, I'm calling my army/unit the Hurenregiment.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Not that innocent! :v:

Oops, I. did it again.

Shikantaza
Sep 10, 2016
“It was the saddest backflip of my career"

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Is sports reporting normally that incoherent?

a kitten
Aug 5, 2006

Good job Brian, keep at it.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


They told him that it can't be done, they said evolution doesn't work that way, but look at Brian now!
I've got 100$ on him to evolve gills by September.

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

I'M FEELING JIMMY

a kitten posted:

Good job Brian, keep at it.



Even with all we've learned in the past 20 years or so, new Pokémon discoveries are still being made, even today. Incredible.

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!

Sunswipe posted:

Is sports reporting normally that incoherent?

I think it's shoddily translated from the original Italian.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

Not-Florida Man tries to remove bees with fireworks, burns down garage

Cacafuego
Jul 22, 2007


cenotaph posted:

Typical American. Won't eat offal.

Nah, Philadelphians eat the hell out of offal, but they call it scrapple.

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Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless


Mexican Mayor marries a CROCODILE and even seals the wedding with a KISS! Here’s why
The unique marriage is part of a ritual which has been practised by the Chontal Indians since 1789. Every year, the Mayor of this Mexican town marries a crocodile as it is believed it will bring good luck and prosperity to local fishermen.

http://indianexpress.com/article/trending/bizarre/mexican-mayor-marries-a-crocodile-and-even-seals-it-with-a-kiss-heres-why-4738519/

harem of crocs? anime is weird...oh wait.

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