Imagine Vegan Cafe - It bent over to show me it's butthole.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Imagine Vegan Cafe - It bent over to show me it's butthole.

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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

I hope you have enjoyed this, my story.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Jul 7, 2017

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:01

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:13

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

listen bitch, this professional business isnt about being professional or a business

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:05

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

everyone knows tofurkey is bullshit

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:06

Monos Bullet: Dec 6, 2016; Yea, and I say unto you, bringeth me a machiatto of caramel, with crickets on top.

a real "coleslaw is cold!" moment. v cool.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:09

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

/ \

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:09

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

I'm agape with shock. #buttholegate

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:13

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

It's funny how pissed off the cafe got, considering the original review was like "eh, I'll probably still eat here"

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:13

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

whoflungpoop posted:

/ \

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:15

WatermelonGun: May 7, 2009

i absolutely loving LOVE watching businesses implode. Here's hoping this turns into Amy's 2.0 :cheers:

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:19

Junkfist: Oct 7, 2004; FRIEND?

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:34

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Your poison butthole is making Yelp too loving crowded.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:39

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

WatermelonGun posted:

i absolutely loving LOVE watching businesses implode. Here's hoping this turns into Amy's 2.0

I don't like watching businesses implode unless it is due to obvious incompetence and hilarious meltdowns by whoever is running them

so this is good

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:42

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

you would think that a naked kid making GBS threads all over the floor and showing their butthole to people would be a health hazard

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:43

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Kanye wishes you to know he would never eat at the butthole cafe.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Jul 7, 2017

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:44

drunkb: Aug 14, 2009; The Great Twist

How did a one year old get up on the table. How low are the tables there?

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:50

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

The pretty font really makes the OP a lot funnier than it would've been without it. Well done man. poo poo's hilarious on it's own but the whole "imagine a butthole" bits were funny as hell.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:51

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Honky Dong Country posted:

The pretty font really makes the OP a lot funnier than it would've been without it. Well done man. poo poo's hilarious on it's own but the whole "imagine a butthole" bits were funny as hell.

Check out the Yelp reviews.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/imagine-vegan-cafe-memphis

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Jul 7, 2017

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:52

berth ell pup: Mar 20, 2017; I am a business magnet.

$10 says its named after that lovely john lennon song.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:13

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

drunkb posted:

How did a one year old get up on the table. How low are the tables there?

a toddlers ability to climb poo poo is not limited by height, only by the time that some retard isnt watching it

with all the time the bitch is spending going full amy's baking that kid is on everest now

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:14

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

This Yelp reviewer says it's going to be super popular with :aatrek:

and then rates it 5 stars.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:16

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Check out the Yelp reviews.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/imagine-vegan-cafe-memphis

How are there chicken strips at a vegan caf�? This is almost as upsetting as the feral child's butthole.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:16

BIG PUFFY NIPS: Mar 7, 2007; College Slice

Junkfist posted:

lmbo

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:19

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

berth ell pup posted:

$10 says its named after that lovely john lennon song.

imagine all the peepholes

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:22

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

okay so wait what is with that logo? is it some pigs sticking their buttholes in the air? is their logo actually buttholes or did you make it op

edit: is the joke because hot dogs are made with pig buttholes vegan dogs are made with literal giant sentient buttholes that technically arent animals so its fine???

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:25

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

The Walrus posted:

is their logo actually buttholes or did you make it op

LOL

I edited their original logo http://i.imgur.com/LDObPDU.png

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Jul 7, 2017

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:26

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Ground floor

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:27

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

LOL

I edited their original logo

lol this dumb bitch has two pigs for the logo of her vegan cafe

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:29

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

cool new Polack jokes posted:

Ground floor

Watch out for poop

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:32

Black Leaf: Nov 19, 2016; by Smythe

Good grief.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:45

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Monos Bullet posted:

a real "coleslaw is cold!" moment. v cool.

The coleslaw was too cold. :boehner:

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:48

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

new phone who dis posted:

How are there chicken strips at a vegan caf�? This is almost as upsetting as the feral child's butthole.

Maybe quorn, marinated in whatever the children leave on the work surfaces.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:50

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

https://www.yelp.com/biz/imagine-vegan-cafe-memphis?hrid=vPFrK7yK8hcN4xY0g7dKEA posted:

Hands down the worst service I've ever experienced in my entire life. When we entered the restaurant, the girl behind the counter did not greet us nor tell us to either seat ourselves or show us to a table. So we just decided to sit down. She immediately walked over and gave us menus without saying a word. When it came time to take our order, they were out of the dish that my sister wanted to order so she asked for time to reconsider. The waitress then asked me "do you know what you want?" I had to be the one to suggest "...well, why don't we wait for her to figure out what she wants...??" There were all of two other tables in there, idk why we were being rushed. I've never had a waitress do that, they normally have no problem saying take your time, I'll come back in a few minutes etc.

I will say my food was delicious. That's why I'm giving this cafe one star. We ordered the quesadilla as an appetizer, it was great, except for the fact that the waitress didn't bring us plates for it, and we couldn't get her attention to do so; we just gave up and ate it before it got cold. My sister ended up getting the mac and cheese as the side to her entree. It came out cold, and tasted weirdly sweet and kind of like a mixture of saw dust and glue. We had to send it back and ask for a different side. At this point we asked for more napkins (they provided cloth napkins); the waitress literally brought me a wadded up brown paper towel from the bathroom. I'm not even kidding, at this point I wasn't even mad I was just trying to control my laughter. My drink was never refilled.

When the waitress brought me the check I handed her my card immediately because we had been waiting so long to get the check, and she didn't say a word. When she brought it back, literally all she said was "here you go." No thank you, no have a great night etc. I've been a server before, I normally cut servers some slack. I'm easy to please, if the server just has a good attitude at the minimum I always tip at least 20%. This was simply not the case unfortunately. I suggest you avoid this cafe unless you're ready to experience the worst service of ALL TIME. Oh and also, you should avoid it unless you're a fan of patronizing signs like the one in the bathroom I posted with this review. Overall, good food but horrendous service hence the 1 star. It hurt my conscience to give this cafe my money when the bill was due. Avoid avoid avoid at all costs.

They really should cut the waitress more slack. It must be hard to get plates when they're tripping over buttholes all the time.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:05

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:12

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Bert Roberge posted:

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:17

extra stout: Feb 24, 2005; ISILDUR's ERR

berth ell pup posted:

$10 says its named after that lovely john lennon song.

probably because that was my first idea for a reply

imagine theres no diapers....no customers, no profit, no food.

hold the phone

Bert Roberge posted:

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:17

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Bert Roberge posted:

^^ ART.

This is beautiful and gives me an idea.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 07:27 on Jul 7, 2017

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:21

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

Junkfist posted:

Best laugh I've had today

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:26

FisheyStix: Jul 2, 2008; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Check out the Yelp reviews.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/imagine-vegan-cafe-memphis

Where comfort and compassion meet. I'm not your loving mom, and I don't care about your opinion!!

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:44

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Is poop vegan?

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:45

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:13

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

Pawn 17 posted:

Is poop vegan?

"Vegan in, vegan out" I'd imagine

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:47

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Imagine Vegan Cafe - It bent over to show me it's butthole.

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