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*arrives at Nnamdi Azikiwe airport* "You can already feel the fear and oppression in this third world hellhole. Luckily I've got a 20mg valium suppository to keep me calm. It's a mystery how anyone survives under such hostile conditions, but this is how these people live." *people casually walking through the airport in the background* *finds information desk at the airport* *shoves camera in a confused employee's face* What's it like living under constant fear of drug addicted marauders? How many children have you lost to Kony? Are you a mercenary? Do you know where I might find a war lord or arms trader or child trafficker or anything like that? Where can I buy drugs? Cymbal Monkey fucked around with this message at 04:41 on Jul 17, 2017 |
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Jul 16, 2017 18:46
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 08:41 |
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[that entire episode of documentary now]
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Jul 16, 2017 18:47
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"hello, id like to speak to payments I havent received several checks yet"
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Jul 16, 2017 18:48
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*Rumages through neighborhood garbage cans.* *Scampers up a tree when the porch light comes on and a distant dog begins to bark.* *Homeowner comes out the door and sees eyes reflecting back at him from tree near knocked over garbage cans.* "loving journalists."
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Jul 16, 2017 18:49
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paul_soccer10 posted:[that entire episode of documentary now] There we go, close the thread please.
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Jul 16, 2017 19:22
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For some mysterious reason won't do an article on Singapore, a country where drug users can be executed.
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Jul 16, 2017 19:25
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Honky Dong Country posted:*Rumages through neighborhood garbage cans.* but, like, in a totally Hunter Thompsonesque way
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Jul 16, 2017 19:26
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Guys, we are under constant sniper fire!!! We could die at any time, this is serious!! *super hot reporter girl with perfect makeup and hair runs from one house to the next in her bullet proof vest*
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Jul 16, 2017 19:27
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Maybe we could stay in today and just write an article about a dead gay forum instead? Woah, we already did that? Are you loving kidding me?
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Jul 16, 2017 19:28
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paul_soccer10 posted:[that entire episode of documentary now] *in Hellen Mirren voice* "Ballz to the wallz."
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Jul 16, 2017 19:41
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I'm going to take this racist tabloid article one of the locals showed me and basically just re-do it but in English. At no point will I actually do any sort of independent investigation or journalism, which is good since I have zero local or cultural knowledge.
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Jul 16, 2017 19:57
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*justifies paying locals a few bucks so they can film "reenactments" of events without saying they are reenactments by saying something about how "the truth sometimes needs a little help" and how your job is to show the Truth even if it means making specifics up to better communicate the truth*
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Jul 16, 2017 20:00
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You tell em Oxballs! loving media!
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Jul 16, 2017 20:02
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"There's two midgets loving outside? poo poo let me get my camera! This could make my career!"
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Jul 16, 2017 20:08
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well the new line of Craftsman vises is looking' pretty nice but Irwin is a better value for the money, if you ask me.
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Jul 16, 2017 20:13
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"We're deep in the Nigerian jungle looking for Abubakar Shekau, the feared leader of Boko Haram, to ask him if he wants to come white water kayaking with us."
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Jul 16, 2017 20:37
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How much of this thread is hyperbole? Is vice really that great?
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Jul 16, 2017 20:43
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*in the meeting room, spitballing ideas* "We could, ahm..." *the glazed eyes of all in the room light up and look at the speaker* "We could...go back to North Korea?" *everyone groans and lays their heads back down*
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Jul 16, 2017 20:45
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*has the smuggest of looks on my face* *is a functional alcoholic*
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Jul 16, 2017 20:50
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkNdZ1OLe5k
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Jul 16, 2017 21:02
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*Doesn't give blowjobs* *Reposts article on not giving blow jobs twice a week*
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Jul 16, 2017 21:21
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A. Beaverhausen posted:How much of this thread is hyperbole? Is vice really that great? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLAm21GwfXw A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Jul 16, 2017 |
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Jul 16, 2017 21:23
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Smokes weed and injects jenkim with a Somalian warlord.
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Jul 16, 2017 21:33
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dentist toy box posted:Smokes weed and injects jenkim with a Somalian warlord. *technically not a warlord but actually a bartender we paid to pose with an AK
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Jul 16, 2017 22:21
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*interviews person from the deep south who will live their entire life within a few miles from the spot they were born to get their opinion on world politics*
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Jul 16, 2017 22:31
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Smokes joint while Action Bronson eats all the Doritos.
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Jul 16, 2017 22:34
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"Hi, I'm here in iceland to make a documentary about the tradition of powerlifting in this country" *Makes documentary about his vacation to iceland instead*
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Jul 16, 2017 22:38
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Is very proud about ability to suck own dick.
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Jul 16, 2017 22:40
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:but, like, in a totally Hunter Thompsonesque way *trips down, shoots self in the head"*
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Jul 16, 2017 22:41
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I'm running out of ways to convince my editor to let me go on location to interview porn stars.
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Jul 16, 2017 22:42
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*develops major depression shortly after returning home from shooting the 'colombian men who have sex with donkeys' feature and finally resigns two months later because really how could u ever top that?*
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Jul 17, 2017 02:25
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gently caress, I have no idea. I'll just write some filler piece about weed.
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Jul 17, 2017 02:28
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*Calls lowtax* Lowtax: Hello? *slams phone down on receiver*
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Jul 17, 2017 02:30
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hey there incredibly poor Brazilian native descendants, i heard that you know where i can find a frog that will make me high as hell? can I pay you thirty dollars to take me to it? thanks
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Jul 17, 2017 02:30
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i'm the guy wearing a t-shirt like a ninja mask
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Jul 17, 2017 02:30
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*gets sent to cover the g20 conference, shoved 15 hits of acid up own rear end one hour before interviewing low level diplomats*
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Jul 17, 2017 03:53
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Mariana Horchata posted:*develops major depression shortly after returning home from shooting the 'colombian men who have sex with donkeys' feature and finally resigns two months later because really how could u ever top that?* I love that one because that donkey sex guy was so brazen about it and the reporter guy treated it all as a joke, but no, that colombian man was staring the reporter and the camera down as he just went to town on that donkey.
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Jul 17, 2017 04:17
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*wears tortoiseshell wayfarers*
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Jul 17, 2017 04:22
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*pays a bum in stacks of quarters to pee in the middle of the street* "deep social commentary" story "with no meaning"
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Jul 17, 2017 04:23
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like a cigarette should posted:I love that one because that donkey sex guy was so brazen about it and the reporter guy treated it all as a joke, but no, that colombian man was staring the reporter and the camera down as he just went to town on that donkey. Wait is some of the poo poo in this thread real? E: I googled it and oh gently caress oh gently caress oh gently caress oh gently caress it's real what the everliving poo poo
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Jul 17, 2017 04:33
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