Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

byob, the screenplay

UNASSUMING POSTER 1: [empty quote]

# ? Jul 19, 2017 23:39

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 00:30

Gone Fashing: KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

doing normal things like raising a child or planning a wedding but on weed

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:19

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

A weeding

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:49

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

doing smth normal except ur the weed

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:10

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Gun shop owner : now see you got this big rear end shotgun for elephant hunting, a small pistol for the heynas and a nice long rifle for that pack of Lions

Hunter: can I see what your have in the way of butterfly nets?

Fireflies?! Hell, son, you'll need a Browning Smol. That's the only rifle chambered for the Remington .05 "Lip Tickler" cartridge.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:36

kalel

Catching butterflies on weeds

# ? Jul 20, 2017 01:50

Twenty Four

*Clicks the safety off my fully automatic butterfly gun and lets loose*

*A flurry of butterflies comes out the barrel, happily flying around in a big cloud all over the place*

# ? Jul 20, 2017 04:49

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

the lost second verse to frasier's tossed salad and scrambled eggs song

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# ? Jul 21, 2017 01:47

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

ghost emoji posted:

the lost second verse to frasier's tossed salad and scrambled eggs song

They say he who recites it will be blessed with a complete breakfast

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:20

alnilam

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Alright, go hog wild.

I'm so glad the thread got made

# ? Jul 23, 2017 22:55

DragQueenofAngmar: You shall not pass!

an alternate timeline for the late 90s and early 2000s where instead of smaller and smaller gadgets being the hot trend its bigger and bigger stuff, all massive helmets with cell phones built in and towering monolithic computerboxes

# ? Jul 25, 2017 21:59

Twenty Four

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

an alternate timeline for the late 90s and early 2000s where instead of smaller and smaller gadgets being the hot trend its bigger and bigger stuff, all massive helmets with cell phones built in and towering monolithic computerboxes

*Walks around the living room now, with a wireless VR headset connected to a cell phone via bluetooth getting data from wifi, but then trips over the power cables that keep the batteries running for more then a minute and crashes into a drawer full of old flip phones, the last thing I see before I black out*

# ? Jul 26, 2017 15:31

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

an alternate timeline for the late 90s and early 2000s where instead of smaller and smaller gadgets being the hot trend its bigger and bigger stuff, all massive helmets with cell phones built in and towering monolithic computerboxes

a tamagotchi the size of a dinner plate to compliment my 12-cassette walkman.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 21:28

DragQueenofAngmar: You shall not pass!

"whoops, there goes the old pager!" i say as I hit the chest harness release and carefully step out of my exobackpack, unfolding its glowing green keyboard console

# ? Jul 26, 2017 21:43

little munchkin

a debate thread where some people post about how spiders are good and some people post about how spiders are bad

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# ? Jul 27, 2017 00:42

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

"WEED", I yell. "WEED!" I repeat over and over with mad laughter filling in the silence between shouts. "FUCLING WEED." I scream into the nothingness till my voice grows weak and defeated. I look up into a burning sky crying tears of blood. Red streaks stain my visage as I shout into the empty world before me," WEED MAKES ME LAUGH!"

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# ? Jul 27, 2017 03:27

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Battlebots but with sex toy attachments but everyone still has to maintain a high level of professionalism, regardless of how inane it gets (and it gets i n a n e)

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Jul 27, 2017 03:37

Twenty Four

Splatmaster posted:

Battlebots but with sex toy attachments but everyone still has to maintain a high level of professionalism, regardless of how inane it gets (and it gets i n a n e)

I call my bot "The Vibrator"

"Is it because of the large purple vibrator strapped to the top?"

"No! It is named in honor of my father who recently passed away!"

"Did he, umm...?"

"What? No! He stress tested engine vibration as a career and was a respectable man and I am a professional! How dare you!"

# ? Jul 27, 2017 06:44

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

drilldo squirt posted:

"WEED", I yell. "WEED!" I repeat over and over with mad laughter filling in the silence between shouts. "FUCLING WEED." I scream into the nothingness till my voice grows weak and defeated. I look up into a burning sky crying tears of blood. Red streaks stain my visage as I shout into the empty world before me," WEED MAKES ME LAUGH!"

weed rofl

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# ? Jul 27, 2017 07:08

bacalou

i heard this one today

"hey man, would you spread some cheddar on this cracker?"

probably the best pan-handling solicitation???

# ? Jul 27, 2017 07:11

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Twenty Four posted:

I call my bot "The Vibrator"

"Is it because of the large purple vibrator strapped to the top?"

"No! It is named in honor of my father who recently passed away!"

"Did he, umm...?"

"What? No! He stress tested engine vibration as a career and was a respectable man and I am a professional! How dare you!"

lol!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 27, 2017 13:43

DragQueenofAngmar: You shall not pass!

drilldo squirt posted:

"WEED", I yell. "WEED!" I repeat over and over with mad laughter filling in the silence between shouts. "FUCLING WEED." I scream into the nothingness till my voice grows weak and defeated. I look up into a burning sky crying tears of blood. Red streaks stain my visage as I shout into the empty world before me," WEED MAKES ME LAUGH!"

# ? Jul 27, 2017 14:00

FactsAreUseless

Splatmaster posted:

Battlebots but with sex toy attachments but everyone still has to maintain a high level of professionalism, regardless of how inane it gets (and it gets i n a n e)

Jamie from Mythbusters talking very seriously about how a 16-inch silicone fist with a World War 2 theme called the Bouncing Betty Bunker-Buster is the best item they could find for weight distribution.

# ? Jul 27, 2017 14:04

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

FactsAreUseless posted:

Jamie from Mythbusters talking very seriously about how a 16-inch silicone fist with a World War 2 theme called the Bouncing Betty Bunker-Buster is the best item they could find for weight distribution.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 27, 2017 17:42

little munchkin

FactsAreUseless posted:

Jamie from Mythbusters talking very seriously about how a 16-inch silicone fist with a World War 2 theme called the Bouncing Betty Bunker-Buster is the best item they could find for weight distribution.

that's a funny thing to imagine, op

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# ? Jul 27, 2017 18:17

Dandywalken

The entirety of the Black Mirror episode White Bear, but the main character is a Caucasian male of unkempt appearance.

He flees to the destination, and rather than be forced to relive horrible crimes the stage rolls back and the rest of an early 2000s band walks out. The opening strums of a guitar trigger a flashback scene where the protagonist swore he would save rock and roll forever.

A microphone is deployed, and the protagonist begins instinctively belting out the lyrics to "Last Nite" by The Strokes before a wildly antagonistic crowd, furious at the broken blood pact.

When the song finishes, the scenario repeats again and again.

Dandywalken fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Jul 27, 2017

# ? Jul 27, 2017 21:24

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

the word "seatbelts" is pretty close to "meatballs" I feel like there's a joke in there somewhere but the moment has never come

# ? Jul 28, 2017 06:52

Gone Fashing: KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

being like a chocoholic but for weed

# ? Jul 28, 2017 06:57

Wertjoe

I was thinking the other day about how when harmful things happen you slowly grow an immunity. When you're a kid you fall down on your face like, all the time. Then you get old and better at life so you stop falling down . I haven't straight fallen over in years. Anyways I think this is why old people fall over then die.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 07:54

AverySpecialfriend: by Hand Knit

Dandywalken posted:

The entirety of the Black Mirror episode White Bear, but the main character is a Caucasian male of unkempt appearance.

He flees to the destination, and rather than be forced to relive horrible crimes the stage rolls back and the rest of an early 2000s band walks out. The opening strums of a guitar trigger a flashback scene where the protagonist swore he would save rock and roll forever.

A microphone is deployed, and the protagonist begins instinctively belting out the lyrics to "Last Nite" by The Strokes before a wildly antagonistic crowd, furious at the broken blood pact.

When the song finishes, the scenario repeats again and again.

fall out boy saved rock and roll

# ? Jul 28, 2017 16:22

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

im going to surgically replace my left tity w my right titty and vice versa

# ? Jul 28, 2017 20:45

deep dish peat moss

Sounds like a real titty twister!

# ? Jul 28, 2017 20:46

little munchkin

i think a good idea for a thread would be one where i post long descriptions of seinfeld episodes, getting as detailed as I can just from memory, and then other posters can say whether they remember that episode or not

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# ? Jul 28, 2017 21:12

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Cubone posted:

the word "seatbelts" is pretty close to "meatballs" I feel like there's a joke in there somewhere but the moment has never come

fasten your meatballs kids

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# ? Jul 28, 2017 21:24

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

A karaoke bar for mimes

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 28, 2017 21:31

vanisher

sebmojo posted:

fasten your meatballs kids

# ? Jul 28, 2017 23:31

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

sebmojo posted:

fasten your meatballs kids

# ? Jul 28, 2017 23:43

DragQueenofAngmar: You shall not pass!

thats-a spicy seatbelt!, which doesn't sound very good at, all tb h

# ? Jul 28, 2017 23:44

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

on top of spaghetti, i lost my poor seatbelt, then crashed and died

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# ? Jul 29, 2017 00:29

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 00:30

Twenty Four

Splatmaster posted:

A karaoke bar for mimes

# ? Jul 29, 2017 15:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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