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flerp
Feb 25, 2014


629 words

To be Less Than a Queen

flerp fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Oct 11, 2017

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Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
Submissions are closed.

Good job, those of you who submitted. As for the rest...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DOKzTHaPfM&t=134s

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.

Electric Owl posted:

in, with:



Question, do the locations have to be derelict in the story?

Also :toxx: b/c i'm a bad boy
You two have 24 hours from this post to submit your stories before I call in your toxxes.

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

college kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe

sebmojo posted:

Tsk. 1200 pst 7 august then.

:toxx:

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

BeefSupreme
Sep 14, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022
F :golfclap: J :golfclap: G :golfclap: J :golfclap:

sparksbloom
Apr 30, 2006
.

sparksbloom fucked around with this message at 04:36 on Nov 27, 2017

Armack
Jan 27, 2006

Chili posted:

Brawl me bro.

I'm not even going to say who the bro is that should brawl me because it's REALLY OBVIOUS.

Sitting Here posted:

In for a brawl with un-chill-i up there

You've seen sebmojo vs SurreptitiousMuffin



and Benny the Snake vs Phobia



This summer, get pumped for Chili vs Sittinghere.



Brought to you by Thunderdome 2017teen. This time, it's for real.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
:siren: RESULTS :siren:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV53mhpc1Ww

So overall I've gotta say this was a pretty strong week. Not without it's stinkers though, and otherwise mild but prevalent annoyances. While I gave you guys permission to use your photographs as a jumping off point without necessarily having to be married to it, a few of you jumped a bit further away than I would've liked. Letting that slide, however, there was still plenty to dislike with dishonorable mentions Jay W. Friks, Wizgot, RandomPauI, and Mag7 heralding in our week's true loser: Super Sweet Best Pal, who ain't no pal of mine if he's just gonna waste his bland protagonist's architectural ambitions on a story where his dead stoner roommate gets murdered over a random weed cache.

And yet good has been done here with a strong stable of honorable mentions: Sebmojo, SurreptitiousMuffin, A New Study Bible!, Kaishai, and Thranguy. I'm not typically this generous but any one of these stories would've won a lesser week, and I wanted to acknowledge that. Special props to Sebmojo for tackling a monster of a flashrule and bringing it home like the biggest fish he ever caught, but unfortunately for him there was another fish this week a hair's breadth bigger: Fleta Mcgurn whose dark yet dignified piece masterfully combined her setting and flashrule into a softly emotional rollercoaster.

The throne's all yours Fleta. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta jet.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
Also, prompt.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









to the tune of WHERE'S OUR loving PROMPT: where's our loving proooooompt

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
I'll be judging next week instead (Kaishai will tell y'all why) but thank you, High-Quality Seafood. Cuz you are quality people.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
PRAMFT!

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

PROMPT!

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
Interprompt: I like tarsiers; write about tarsiers in 500 words or less, and you can have the same number of words for week 262 in addition to the actual wordcount limit (what is that, you ask? You'll see.) Also, I will crit any tarsier stories.

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.
Thunderdome Week CCLXI: You Are Cordially Invited to the Dome of a Thousand Doors



Party Planners: Kaishai, SurreptitiousMuffin, and Uranium Phoenix.

Lord Thaddeus Domerci, a man of mystery around whom many rumors and dire foretellings swirl, has invited us one and all to celebrate his birthday in the magnificent Domerci Manor. Stories are told about this house--as many stories, nearly, as the house has rooms, though the exact count of chambers is vague. You see, there's no end to the Manor's doors. Past each one waits a room that's distinct from every other; a gentleman's study from the late nineteenth century sits across the hall from a glass dome looking out on the vacuum of space. Lord Domerci has more gardens besides than any one man should. I've heard tell of a pond in one with swan boats that glide on their own, and another, they say, holds a graveyard with epitaphs no one still living can read....

Your protagonists have come to Domerci Manor on the night of the festivities. Why? That's up to you. The eccentric lord has sent invitations to the rich and the poor alike, but any party like this one will also have its gate crashers. Maybe your characters are looking for something, or for someone. Maybe they're only here for the drinks and will get caught up in matters beyond their comprehension. They could find love! Or hate! Or death! Or a necrophiliac orgy in the basement! (Please don't find a necrophiliac orgy in the basement.) Anything is possible--it's that kind of evening.

This is a shared world prompt, but one that allows you to go your own way if you'd rather. It's entirely possible to be at Domerci's party and miss any number of happenings, especially if you're caught up in your own! Entrants are welcome to conspire, to share characters and rooms--IRC is useful for this--but keep this in mind: Each story must have one author. Each story must stand alone. Don't depend on someone else's work to explain yours. If collaboration isn't your thing, then create your own room or rooms and don't worry about what anyone else is doing. The judges won't hold that against you.

There's one character who should be at least slightly consistent, so have a brief description of the Man Himself:

Kaishai posted:



:toot: Our Gracious Host! :toot:

Lord Thaddeus Domerci is the intimate acquaintance of no one. To the best of society's knowledge, his life is free of the encumbrance of love. His heart is dedicated instead to his Manor and the preservation thereof--a trying task, as any of his servants would tell you--and a passion for competition in all its forms, whether it be a friendly game or the sort of brawl that fills graves. It is said by some that he is a literary connoisseur. Those who have seen any of his libraries (did you imagine the Manor had only one?) question both that statement and his taste, however.

Despite his less than empathetic nature, Lord Domerci will be found roaming the halls of his party, sharing wine with the guests he recognizes and with those he doesn't. The majority will be of the latter type. His cryptic manner may charm, unsettle, or anger, but no reaction fazes him. Is he even listening when you speak? Perhaps. He's certainly attentive to anything that threatens to bring his party to a halt. Persistent threats may be put down with more force than one mortal man should be able to muster.

He has a black goatee, a sharp tongue, the apparel of a gentleman, and eyes that have stared unblinking at a thousand horrors.

Can't decide on what room(s) you'd like to explore? You're in luck, sort of, because the judge team will hear your pleas and assign you a past week of Thunderdome to use as setting inspiration. Setting, note! Let's say you get Week CCV. Your room had better be cosmic and horrifying, but if you want to use it as a backdrop for a touching romance or a buddy comedy, have at.

Flash rules and other sub-rules of past weeks aren't part of your room assignments!

As is traditional when it comes to special anniversary shenanigans, the winner of this week won't run the next week. That honor/horror belongs to Fleta Mcgurn. Instead, the victor gets the thrill of beating everybody else into the ground, perhaps a sparkly new avatar, and delightful freedom from having to do any work afterward!

No fanfiction, nonfiction, erotica, poetry, political satire, political screeds, or GoogleDocs.

Sign-up deadline: Friday, August 4, 11:59pm USA Eastern
Submission deadline: Sunday, August 6, 11:59pm USA Eastern
Maximum word count: 1,500

VIP Guests:
super sweet best pal (Room LXVI)
Fleta Mcgurn
Thranguy (Room LXXXI): "The Huntress and the Thief"
Sitting Here: "In Which an Unwanted Gift is Returned"
Fuubi
sebmojo (Room LXXXV): "Astronomical Unit"
Hawklad (Room CXXV): "The Fisherman and the Eel"
MysticalHaberdasher
Dr. Kloctopussy (Room CXXXVII): "Falling Stars"
big scary monsters (Room CLXXX)
crabrock (Room CLXIV)
Jay W. Friks: "Dirty Pool"
Wizgot (Room CLXXXVI)
Mercedes (Room CLXIII): "The Pyramid Scheme"
RandomPauI (Room LXVII): "Her Rehearsal." (Submitted past the deadline.)
Benny Profane (Room XXI): "The Potato Thief"
flerp (Room CXXII)
sparksbloom (Room CLXXXI)
dmboogie: "i bet one day we'll look back on this and laugh but for tonight could you just buy me a drink"
GenJoe
Chairchucker (Room CCII)
Solitair (Room CII): "Theorycraps"
Noah
Nethilia: "Lost and Found"
Pippin: "What's Behind Door Number One?"
blue squares: "While Searching for an Answer"

Kaishai fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Aug 9, 2017

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

In and please give me a room.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
Innnnnn

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Deceitful and black-hearted, perhaps we are. But we would never go against the Code. Well, perhaps for good reasons. But mostly never.
in and room me up.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
in!!!

Fuubi
Jan 18, 2015

THUNDERDOME LOSER
In!

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









in, room me up

Hawklad
May 3, 2003


Who wants to live
forever?


DIVE!

College Slice
In, I will take a room.

MysticalHaberdasher
Oct 27, 2006
In.

magnificent7
Sep 22, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Bad Seafood posted:

:siren: RESULTS :siren:
... there was still plenty to dislike with dishonorable mentions Jay W. Friks, Wizgot, RandomPauI, and Mag7
As always, it's just an honor to be considered for DM. My soul is crushed, but by god I finally turned a story in. Thanks for reading it. I'm desperate to find out where I missed the mark, (you know, other than typos, dammit).

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

magnificent7 posted:

As always, it's just an honor to be considered for DM. My soul is crushed, but by god I finally turned a story in. Thanks for reading it. I'm desperate to find out where I missed the mark, (you know, other than typos, dammit).

I had some thoughts.

To start:

- I have a very clear picture of the narrator in my mind. Like, I know exactly what his truck probably smells like. Well done.
- The story itself interests me. I would read more if this was the introduction to a longer piece.

Okay, so stuff that was less cool...

First all, punctuation. I don't mean your lack of quotation marks, which I took to be a stylistic choice. I'm talking missing commas. That is my least favorite variety of comma.

Second, sentence structure:

you posted:

Eric says the air ain’t bad and runs on ahead to check the metal doors, maybe one of them opened to a room instead of emergency stairs.

This sentence is good, but it's bad. It's good in that I feel like you're expressing things in the narrator's voice, which is unique. It's bad because, even though I do understand your meaning, there's a tense shift mid-sentence. I'm not usually stabby about tense changes, but combined with the lack of punctuation to indicate exactly what is being spoken, it's confusing.

You also break the fourth wall a couple times, but not frequently enough that I'm sure it was deliberate.


The narrator doesn't seem at all concerned about the walls breathing. It's noted in a very detached and "enhhhh and then this happened" way.

you posted:

I lie here for five minutes.

Don't you have a phone? gently caress, bro, call 911 or 119 or 999 or 911 or something, even if you can't talk.
I don't understand this, to be honest. It doesn't seem like a rational response to someone who knows their friend is in need of immediate help. I understand the narrator is recovering, but I feel like he or she would have a stronger sense of urgency.

Incidentally, couldn't the narrator have floated Eric's fat rear end and not had to drop him?

Why, seeing that his coworker is on the ground gasping, flailing, and indicating a basement, does Jeff not figure out that there's a problem with the air? If Julie knows, wouldn't Jeff? I am also operating under the assumption that they're maintenance workers. At the very least, Julie probably wouldn't be the only person at the office who is aware of a potential health and safety issue. e: and also JEFF CALL THE drat POLICE


I don't really have any huge and grumpy issues with your story. I feel like maybe you wanted to take a risk, but you couldn't decide whether to go more realistic or more fantastic, and hamstrung yourself a little. It needed more editing and a bit of tightening, but it's far from awful! To me, it feels like one big opening scene to a longer story. I think there were some interesting things here; I'm wondering if there is any significance with the years? IS JULIE EVEN REAL? :psyduck: Anyways, you turned in a story that made me want to know more.

magnificent7
Sep 22, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

perfect feedback
Thank you so much, excellent feedback that was clear and highlights exactly what I need to work on.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
In and ready to be visited by the ghost of Thunderdomes past.

big scary monsters
Sep 2, 2011

-~Skullwave~-
I've had a really dreadful idea for a story and if I don't think of anything better I'm going to have to write it, so please give me a room.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






give me a week pls.

preferably not one i've already written for.

Jay W. Friks
Oct 4, 2016


Got Out.
Grimey Drawer
In with Indoor Pool

Motorola 68000
Apr 25, 2014

"Don't be nice. Be good."
I'm in. Room me up.

Motorola 68000
Apr 25, 2014

"Don't be nice. Be good."

magnificent7 posted:

As always, it's just an honor to be considered for DM. My soul is crushed, but by god I finally turned a story in. Thanks for reading it. I'm desperate to find out where I missed the mark, (you know, other than typos, dammit).

And same. Just happy I survived the Thunderdome.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
Can't believe I've spent five years of my life with you chuckleheads

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

Dr. Kloctopussy posted:

Can't believe I've spent five years of my life with you chuckleheads

5 years ago this week i sat down and wrote about potatoes

my god what have i become

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Dr. Kloctopussy posted:

Can't believe I've spent five years of my life with you chuckleheads

Seems like triple that. You butthole sniffers are quite the lot.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Mercedes posted:

Seems like triple that. You butthole sniffers are quite the lot.

That post was poorly planned. There were no I's nor N's close to each other. Give me a room

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
I'm sad to get a DM but my goals of finishing a story and not being last place we're met.

Do we have to choose a room number from past thunderdomes?

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






Mercedes posted:

That post was poorly planned. There were no I's nor N's close to each other. Give me a room

what, they're right next to each other!


Mercedes posted:

Seems like triple that. You butthole sniffers are quite the lot.

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Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.
Your room assignments, honored guests! Remember, you're free to wander through the house, but at least part of your story must now take place in a location related somehow to your week.

While I've included a suggestion for each, you're free to ignore those and offer your own interpretations.

super sweet best pal posted:

In and please give me a room.

You may find cards and poker chips plentiful in Room LXVI (Know When to Fold 'Em).

Thranguy posted:

in and room me up.

Who knew Lord Domerci had enough plastic bricks to fill Room LXXXI (LEGO Stories with Chairchucker)?

sebmojo posted:

in, room me up

Letters abound in Room LXXXV (Ground Control to Major Tom).

Hawklad posted:

In, I will take a room.

Everything's better down where it's wetter in Room CXXV (Thunderdome is Comin' to Town).

I suppose sparkling mermen are optional.

Dr. Kloctopussy posted:

In and ready to be visited by the ghost of Thunderdomes past.

Stroll through the gallery in Room CXXXVII (A Picture is Worth rand( ) % 1500 words).

big scary monsters posted:

I've had a really dreadful idea for a story and if I don't think of anything better I'm going to have to write it, so please give me a room.

Maybe you can lose that idea in Lord Domerci's labyrinth, contained in Room CLXXX (Maybe I'm a Maze). Note to all: "rooms" can absolutely be somewhere out on the Manor grounds!

crabrock posted:

give me a week pls.

preferably not one i've already written for.

Dare you find out what's cooking in Room CLXIV (I Shouldn't Have Eaten That Souvlaki)?

Wizgot posted:

I'm in. Room me up.

Be careful with the Bunsen burners in Room CLXXXVI (Giving away prizes for doing f'd-up things).

Mercedes posted:

That post was poorly planned. There were no I's nor N's close to each other. Give me a room

Arf arf arf!

Nah, just fooling. Lord Domerci's private collection occupies Room CLXIII (YOUR STUPID poo poo BELONGS IN A MUSEUM).

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