Paige & Alberto: Schrodinger's Relationship

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Paige & Alberto: Schrodinger's Relationship

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Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

dromal phrenia posted:

Can't believe Alberto has been no-showing because Paige hits him with the Rampaige whenever he tries to cut her off during a coke binge.

I was going to say the PTO but I can't remember what the letters stand for

Paige's Terrorist Ovaries?

# ? Aug 4, 2017 01:38

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 15:00

C. Everett Koop: Aug 18, 2008

Paid Time Off, which is what Paige is getting but poor ADR isn't!!! :bahgawd:

# ? Aug 4, 2017 02:14

MotU: Mar 6, 2007; It was like she was evicting walking garbage.; Pillbug

dromal phrenia posted:

Can't believe Alberto has been no-showing because Paige hits him with the Rampaige whenever he tries to cut her off during a coke binge.

I was going to say the PTO but I can't remember what the letters stand for

paige tap out

# ? Aug 4, 2017 02:26

MotU: Mar 6, 2007; It was like she was evicting walking garbage.; Pillbug

which is also what she should be sure to do if shes ever alone in a home gym w/ adr

# ? Aug 4, 2017 02:27

WrasslorMonkey: Mar 5, 2012

MotU posted:

paige tap out

Don't be a dick.

# ? Aug 4, 2017 02:45

dromal phrenia: Feb 22, 2004

MotU posted:

paige tap out

it cant be that, that sounds really stupid. its probably something cool instead.

# ? Aug 4, 2017 02:59

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

dromal phrenia posted:

it cant be that, that sounds really stupid. its probably something cool instead.

POWER
TAP
OVERWHELMING
!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Aug 4, 2017 03:03

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

Philanderer's testicle offense

# ? Aug 4, 2017 03:39

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

proper toilet, outhouse

cyoa

# ? Aug 4, 2017 03:58

C. Everett Koop: Aug 18, 2008

Palestinian Terrorist Organization :jihad:

# ? Aug 4, 2017 04:57

stab: Feb 12, 2003; To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

Punching

Two

Ovaries

I'll let myself out

# ? Aug 4, 2017 05:05

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

dromal phrenia posted:

I was going to say the PTO but I can't remember what the letters stand for

Please
Turn
On
(you are monitor)

# ? Aug 4, 2017 06:30

Tato: Jun 19, 2001; DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

Paige applying the PTO while standing ON A TABLE!!! and thus increasing its effectiveness is still very funny to me.

# ? Aug 4, 2017 15:39

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

guys I think this maybe is an unhealthy relationship

# ? Aug 4, 2017 16:55

DangerDummy!: Jul 7, 2009

Bevis penis Uranus.

# ? Aug 4, 2017 20:18

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Paige doesn't have a move called the PTO. Now, she does have a move called the PTO, the Paige Tap Out.

# ? Aug 4, 2017 20:20

Marmaduke!: May 19, 2009; Why would it do that!?

They say that's what she calls it.

# ? Aug 4, 2017 21:00

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Tato posted:

Paige applying the PTO while standing ON A TABLE!!! and thus increasing its effectiveness is still very funny to me.

She did it multiple times across a period of weeks too, right? So loving bizarre.

# ? Aug 5, 2017 02:09

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

of course it's more effective on a table, isn't that basic wrestling logic?

# ? Aug 5, 2017 02:40

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

paige also does the pco on the table because it's more effective that way -- that is, the paige cocaine onslaught

# ? Aug 5, 2017 02:54

rovert: Jun 10, 2013

http://www.pwinsider.com/article/111362/alberto-paige-dont-get-to-blame-the-internet.html

quote:

ALBERTO & PAIGE DON'T GET TO BLAME THE INTERNET
By Mike Johnson on 2017-08-04 10:55:00
Yesterday during a radio appearance on Busted Open, GFW champion Alberto el Patron and WWE star Paige appeared united in showing the world they were the real life Maria and Mike Kanellis, professing the power of love and showcasing that all is OK with the couple. That may be the case, today, but the idea that they were blaming the "Internet" for their issues at the Orlando Airport on 7/9 and the subsequent fallout that came with it, is absolute garbage.

It's easy to dismiss things as being the fault of the Internet, as if its this malevolent entity that is out to hurt someone, but the reality is that if someone - public persona or not - doesn't make the mistake of putting themselves into a situation where people can publicly comment on their actions, then they don't have a reason to react to that criticism.

Over the past year, Alberto and Paige....

....have been suspended by WWE (and in the case of Paige, twice, with WWE telling the New York Post the second suspension was for an illegal substance).

... became embroiled in an incident that led to Paige running through traffic in Las Vegas before police grabbed her and took her for a medical evaluation.

....were involved in a stabbing incident in San Antonio where Alberto was attacked by a homeless man...not wait, was involved in an auto incident...no wait, was defending Paige....all three versions of which were never truly explained and hey, despite being stabbed by some ruffian in public, there was no police report that anyone in the San Antonio Police Department could find.

.....were involved in the airport incident that led to Alberto's GFW suspension, which he claims is cleared up - although GFW has yet to confirm to PWInsider (which has reached out to the company for comment) that the suspension has actually been lifted.

Mind you, these are just the instances that we know about and the ones that have been documented. Could there be others? Possibly? Were there? We don't know (yet), but above is a pattern of behavior that doesn't just happen to most loving, adoring couples, even the ones under the ever-watching spotlight of public life.

Even if one of the incidents - as opposed to multiple ones - took place, the idea that the "Internet" is to blame for the attention put on the Orlando Airport incident is laughable for a number of reasons.

All of PWInsider.com's reporting came from official statements from the Orlando Police Department, so unless that Department also counts as "The Internet" and were making things up, we stand by our reporting of the incident from the moment I first learned from a reader that they saw Patron being escorted through an airport by police.

Let's also not forget that the Orlando Police, not the Internet, informed media outlets that they felt they had enough evidence to charge Paige with domestic battery violence. It's not the Internet that made that decision, but the local police and now it's up to the local prosecutor to make the distinction as to whether it is worth pursuing the charges. That is on Paige and Patron, not the media and not the Internet.

This isn't fake news. It was hard news, with a story that was rooted in official police statements.

Paige and Alberto dismissing the situation as something the Internet made it a bigger story than it needed to be is nonsense. If anyone, celebrity or not, got into an altercation in an airport, where federal law is in place, it's a story. This was not a witch hunt over two pro wrestlers acting terrible to each other and hey, Internet, let's pile on! It was a case of two adults acting out in a way that led to a police investigation and potentially, one of them still being charged with domestic violence battery. That doesn't change because they are cooing on a radio show over each other a month later. Love doesn't retcon what happened.

The "Internet" was not playing Puppetmaster that day. It did not make Patron say whatever he said to Paige that led to her throwing a glass at Patron. It didn't cause her to dump a glass of water on Patron. It didn't make Patron chase her out of a restaurant and through the airport, something that was at least partially recorded and later ended up on TMZ (something the loving pair didn't acknowledge in their interview yesterday), nor did it make Paige scream out that Patron was ruining her life and that she wanted to get away from him.

It's unfortunate for the couple that this played out in front of someone who knew who they were and hit record, but that doesn't take the responsibility, at its root, from Patron and Paige. They were and are responsible, and while they did apologize (well, Paige did), that doesn't mean that they now get to point the finger of blame elsewhere.

The "Internet" didn't make the events in Orlando transpire, Alberto and Paige did. While the couple can say now that sometimes they fight like all couples do and say things for 20 minutes that they don't mean before making up, that's not the Internet's fault that it happened and it's not the Internet's fault they didn't have the wherewithal to keep themselves from acting that way in public. Blaming others for the fact they put themselves into this predicament to happen shows, in my opinion, a lack of awareness about the entire situation and that quite frankly, is concerning itself.

We've seen lots of instances where those in pro wrestling have blamed the media and the Internet for taking interest in their decisions to do stupid or illegal things. It's human nature to want to be voyeuristic towards others doing stupid things. When something illegal happens, however - an incident or an arrest - that's not on public record and well, public records are public for a reason, because they fall into fair game when it comes to the media writing about them.

It's easy to blame the Internet and the media when someone finds themselves under scrutiny, but it's also a crutch, an excuse, a veil to hide that they themselves are to blame for any hot water they have gotten themselves into.

If Patron and Paige are looking forward to going back to work at WWE and GFW - and I hope they come back and have awesome wrestling matches because I would much rather be spending my time writing about that - they both need to realize that the blame falls on their own shoulders - for getting themselves into these situations over and over without addressing whatever the root cause of those issues are.

Perhaps they are, privately. I hope they are, but yesterday's appearance seemed to be more about using a Jedi mind trick to say "There's nothing to see here. Move along. Move along." Whether they were trying to pull an Obi-Wan Kenobi or not, only they know.

Still, one doesn't get to run through an airport screaming at each other after a physical altercation to the point police are called (at, according to the record, Alberto's request) and then turn around and blame the Internet for the entire mess - not if they want those concerned and worried about them to truly believe these issues have been resolved and are in the past.

Time will tell if there is ever another Paige/Patron incident, but if there is, we know who they will blame.

They will be wrong when they do.

# ? Aug 5, 2017 21:46

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

they stopped helping me so now i'm going to write a sanctimonious piece about it while poo poo drips down my head into my mouth and i eat it because im a poo poo head

# ? Aug 5, 2017 21:57

HerraS: Apr 15, 2012; Looking professional when committing genocide is essential. This is mostly achieved by using a beret.

Olive drab colour ensures the genocider will remain hidden from his prey until it's too late for them to do anything.

good for you

# ? Aug 5, 2017 22:43

rare Magic card l00k: Jan 3, 2011

GFW suspended Alberto El Patron for being the victim of domestic abuse, and Mike Johnson is using that as evidence of El Patron being bad.

What a guy.

# ? Aug 6, 2017 02:59

rovert: Jun 10, 2013

https://twitter.com/TNA_ImpactNews/status/894171939689947136

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:24

Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

rovert posted:

https://twitter.com/TNA_ImpactNews/status/894171939689947136

using ADR's & Paige's domestic violence issues as an angle is the most Russo thing I could imagine, until I saw that this promo happened at a house show and that amplified its Russocity. the student has finally surpassed the master, Russo should bow to Double J

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:40

grack: Jan 10, 2012; COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!

Cameraman's pretty talented to get the entire audience in one shot.

# ? Aug 6, 2017 22:17

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

GFW on Chikara draw levels.

# ? Aug 7, 2017 15:51

Corzaa: Aug 1, 2006

rare Magic card l00k posted:

GFW suspended Alberto El Patron for being the victim of domestic abuse, and Mike Johnson is using that as evidence of El Patron being bad.

What a guy.

Isn't that what caused WWE to fire Drew McIntyre?

# ? Aug 7, 2017 17:42

oatgan: Jan 15, 2009

Nah but in combination with his first run flopping (and hbk not being around to vouch for him iirc?) they depushed him.

# ? Aug 7, 2017 17:53

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

Drew was depushed for losing a fist fight with his then wife, who was drunk and making a scene at the playboy mansion.

# ? Aug 7, 2017 18:38

dromal phrenia: Feb 22, 2004

I'm not sure what Drew was supposed to do in that situation, because "WWE Superstar publically beats the poo poo out of his wife" wouldn't be good press for the company either. Was he supposed to, like, force her over his knee and spank her?

# ? Aug 7, 2017 18:56

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

dromal phrenia posted:

I'm not sure what Drew was supposed to do in that situation, because "WWE Superstar publically beats the poo poo out of his wife" wouldn't be good press for the company either. Was he supposed to, like, force her over his knee and spank her?

Vince McMahon voice: YES

# ? Aug 7, 2017 19:14

rovert: Jun 10, 2013

coconono posted:

Vince McMahon voice: YES

See Jimmy Snuka

# ? Aug 7, 2017 19:43

Josuke Higashikata: Mar 7, 2013

rovert posted:

https://twitter.com/TNA_ImpactNews/status/894171939689947136

NotTNA killing it with the ticket sales

# ? Aug 7, 2017 19:46

ARMBAR A COP: Nov 24, 2007

rovert posted:

See Jimmy Snuka

They didn't discuss a safe word

# ? Aug 7, 2017 21:45

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

PUNKS DIET SODA posted:

They didn't discuss a safe word

Just like your mother

# ? Aug 7, 2017 22:03

rovert: Jun 10, 2013

https://twitter.com/RealPaigeWWE/status/894697901267402752

Guess she got cleared then

# ? Aug 8, 2017 00:16

MotU: Mar 6, 2007; It was like she was evicting walking garbage.; Pillbug

rovert posted:

https://twitter.com/RealPaigeWWE/status/894697901267402752

Guess she got cleared then

medically or of charges

# ? Aug 8, 2017 00:17

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 15:00

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

MotU posted:

medically or of charges

# ? Aug 8, 2017 00:18

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Paige & Alberto: Schrodinger's Relationship

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