Web Serials: It remains to be seen how important Evanescence will be

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Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

Welcome to the Web Serial Megathread!

What is a Serial?
With the advent of the printing press, newspapers and magazines were all the rage. As the Victorian era began, many fiction authors started using them to publish fascicles, stories that came in multiple parts over a period of time. Many popular books were originally published this way, such as The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo, Uncle Tom's Cabin, and Sherlock Holmes, among others. While it declined in popularity over the years, especially in the past several decades, it has always remained present as a form of publication particularly for fiction.

Then along comes the internet, which gave a lot of would-be authors a platform to easily show their stuff through Bulletin Board Systems, and then websites such as Fictionpress, Wordpress, and Livejournal. Translators started publishing translations of Light Novels and Xianxia in serialized form. Fanfiction grew from a weird thing middle-aged people wrote in Star Trek fan magazines into a behemoth of teen amateur writing. Then, in June of 2011, a guy going by the name Wildbow publishes Worm, a darker, more modern superhero story that becomes absurdly popular and starts a new trend in web serial publication, and it's been growing from there.

So, to put it simply, a Web Serial is an internet-published story that is written and published one entry at a time. There's a lot of good ones, and far, far more terrible ones, and this thread is for talking about them!

Sounds great, what should I read first?
There are several popular web serials that are considered by many in the thread to be pretty good. Here's a few:

Worm, by Wildbow.

quote:

An introverted teenage girl with an unconventional superpower, Taylor goes out in costume to find escape from a deeply unhappy and frustrated civilian life. Her first attempt at taking down a supervillain sees her mistaken for one, thrusting her into the midst of the local �cape� scene�s politics, unwritten rules, and ambiguous morals. As she risks life and limb, Taylor faces the dilemma of having to do the wrong things for the right reasons.

Worm is a behemoth (heh), sitting at 1.7 million words. It is a long read, but a good one, and it's been finished for a few years; the author is looking at finding a way to have it heavily edited and published, while also writing his next novels Pact and Twig. Always remember that the main chapters are told from the perspective of the protagonist, so you aren't directly seeing how others view her actions - some of which can be seen as horribly immoral. I, personally, recommend you skip the comments sections at the bottom of each chapter because some of the readers are... eccentric, to say the least, and there are tons of awful fan theories and bad interpretations of events that will likely confuse you. Also, in case the summary didn't spell it out clearly enough: This story can be dark. It is not your granddaddy's superhero comics.

Ward, by Wildbow.

The sequel to Worm, currently updating and pretty much the hottest poo poo on the block right now. Spoiler policy is in effect as described below, but as always read the thread at your own discretion.

Twig, also by Wildbow.

quote:

The year is 1921, and a little over a century has passed since a great mind unraveled the underpinnings of life itself. Every week, it seems, the papers announce great advances, solving the riddle of immortality, successfully reviving the dead, the cloning of living beings, or blending of two animals into one. For those on the ground, every week brings new mutterings of work taken by �stitched� men of patchwork flesh that do not need to sleep, or more fearful glances as they have to step off the sidewalks to make room for great laboratory-grown beasts. Often felt but rarely voiced is the notion that events are already spiraling out of the control of the academies that teach these things.

I haven't read this so I don't have anything to say about it, but someone else will write something for me to put here soon! Also it's now completed.

The Gods are Bastards by D.D.Webb.

quote:

It was a land of sword and sorcery, knights and castles, adventure and heroics . . . but that was a thousand years ago. The Gods are Bastards brings high fantasy forward into the Industrial Revolution, to a more complicated and more cynical era. In the world of Tiraas, an ancient Church is making its final grab for ultimate power, an upstart young University seeks to bring its Enlightenment ethos to the world, and a teetering Empire struggles to balance tradition with progress. Better weapons, magics and technologies have changed the landscape, for better and for worse, and the age of ancient evils and heroic deeds is long over. So when an ancient evil does rise again and heroes are needed to beat it back, the people of Tiraas must scramble to meet the challenge . . . if they can only stop scheming against each other long enough. One thing is becoming clear: this time around, the gods will be no help.

TGAB is a story that combines elements of a Dungeons and Dragons style high fantasy setting with classical Westerns, coated with a veneer of urban industrialization. To start with, it follows the freshman class at a university dedicated to teaching politically-sensitive proto-adventurers how to not blow up the countryside around them as they go through their inevitably action-packed lives, as well as religious-political machinations of the Tiraan Empire, its Universal Church, the Thieves' Guild, and several other organizations. In short, there are a fuckton of characters. Thankfully, the author does a really drat good job of making all of them very unique and very memorable, from the ludicrously overpowered, thousands of years old elvish archmage, to the random street rats that can barely tell their boots from their asses, to the gods themselves. The worldbuilding is second-to-none, the plot twists are pretty twisty, and the bonds of friendship and camaraderie are thicker than blood. It's a pretty optimistic story, for a modern fantasy. It was started in 2014 and has been updating consistently 2-3 times a week since, and is not quite half finished at a bit over a million and a half words.

Mother of Learning by nobody103.

quote:

Zorian, a mage in training, only wanted to finish his education in peace. Now he struggles to find answers as he finds himself repeatedly reliving the same month. �Groundhog�s day� style setup in a fantasy world.

Mother of Learning follows a self-centered rear end in a top hat through the first month of his third year at Wizard College, then poo poo goes horribly wrong and he's stuck in a time loop. As he progresses through several iterations of that month, he goes on a journey of self discovery, bonding with people he had previously disregarded as not worth his time, and learning a bunch about magic and the world around him. It's got a very strong "power fantasy" feel, but in a way that feels earned, if that makes sense. It's a constant uphill struggle against something that is impossibly difficult for him to fight against, so it never feels cheap even a lot of how Zorian gets more powerful can feel contrived. It's been going since 2011 and updates fairly slowly, at ~550k words now.

Unsong by Scott Alexander.

Unsong is a pretty huge departure from the rest of the stories here. It's set primarily in the modern day, with lots of flashbacks and other perspectives over the past several decades following the Apollo moon landing. It's about Jewish mythology, Kabbalah, and religion, with the divine machine keeping the world running on physics having been broken and the Names of God now functioning akin to magic spells... sort of. It's a comedy, with some similarities in presentation to Douglas Adams' stories. No background in religion is required to understand the basic gist of this, but a basic understanding of Jewish mythology or at least the Bible's old testament will help make a lot of the jokes make sense. Just be prepared for puns out the wazoo. Completed as of early 2017.

The Wandering Inn by pirateaba

The Wandering Inn is a a story about--well, several people, actually, but primarily, a girl from earth who finds herself teleported into a fantasy world while trying to enter her bathroom. Rather than become a legendary hero, she ends up becoming an innkeeper. However, life isn't so simple, as she still ends up becoming very important to the world. This story takes some obvious inspiration from both western serials like Worm, as well as from Japanese isekai web novels like Kumo Desu Ga--primarily by using the conceit that everyone in that world has discrete levels and skills, like in an RPG. Unlike other stories of the sort, though, the level system isn't an excuse to have a quantifiable power fantasy where we just watch the numbers keep going up. Rather, the level system actually ties in to the larger story, with hints that there are sinister reasons behind why such a system even exists at all. The Wandering Inn updates regularly and consistently every Tuesday and Saturday, and occasionally on other days, when the author has some side stories to share. --Argue

Worth the Candle by cthulhuraejepsen: A slightly emo but surprisingly mature teen gets dumped into a grotesque amalgamation of (early setting spoiler) the settings he created as a dungeon master. Aerb is not a kind world: there are lots of hells, no heaven, and the motorcycles run on extracted souls. But at least our plucky hero is OP as all hell and has the key to seven locks.

WtC is a LitRPG that tonally feels nothing like other LitRPG's. Want a story where the hero is amazed and delighted by their new world and abilities, and has lots of fun, energizing adventures? Well then get the gently caress out because that ain't Worth the Candle; this is a LitRPG that takes poo poo serious. WtC is very well-written, especially by web serial standards, but also ratfic (rational fiction), heavy on on the rat, which is not to everyone's tastes. --Cicero

A Practical Guide to Evil by ERRATICERRATA

Ra by qntm

If you are a web serial author

If you're writing or have written a web serial of your own, you're welcome to post a link to it here and request feedback, engage in discussion, etc. That said, don't use this thread to frequently advertise, and don't directly post paypal/patreon/gofundme/etc. links in the thread.

Goon authors:

Not All Heroes by forums poster Milky Moor

Into the Mire by forums poster Anomalous Blowout, which has been nominated for a slew of awards:

Anomalous Blowout posted:

Into the Mire has been officially longlisted for my country's highest literary honour for fantasy:

This is, to put it mildly, extremely cool. I have also since been informed that at least one SFWA member has nominated Mire for a loving Nebula too, holy balls.

The email goes on to say that if too many works are nominated in a category, the final ballot may be chosen by number of total nominations. With Shortest Path's blessing, I'm linking the nominations form here if anyone wanted to chuck in a vote for me. Since it's an awards committee, the nominations form is of course a slightly outdated google form.

You don't need to be a member to vote and all you need to do is provide some really simple answers: title (Into the Mire), category (Best Collected Work), author pen name (Casey Lucas), publisher (Self), and contact (https://www.intothemire.com). If you felt like chucking in a nom for my short story as well, you can read it here and input the publisher as Sponge Magazine and the contact url as https://www.sponge.nz.

But wait! There's more!

The Sir James Vogel awards are being held at the same ceremony as the Hugo Awards this year, at WorldCon. This means the SJV awards panel will be the same judges as the Hugo awards' judges and it means that the "nominee information pack" gets sent to all those people as well. This year ol' Gamer Thrones himself George RR Martin is emceeing and there will be a whole slew of serious literary agents and authors there, and if I'm a nominee they'll literally have to read my terrible webfic.

Thank you so much to all you goons who have supported Mire and read it over the last couple years. This is leaps and bounds beyond anything I ever imagined when I started it. I find out if I've made the shortlist in April and you can get your dog, your dad, your wife, and your landlord to nominate me until the end of March!

Katalepsis, by forums poster Hungry:

Hungry posted:

It's an urban fantasy story / lesbian supernatural soap opera, with a little bit of a horror coating. I didn't want to link it here until I was certain I'd be sticking with it, so here it is. New chapters currently every Saturday, though I'm trying to build up to twice a week instead. I'm not an incredible writer or anything, and I guess the story can get a little grisly at times, so it might not be to everyone's taste. If anybody does check it out, I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

(it's loving amazing and I love it)

Blood is Mine by forums poster Lunatic Sledge:

Lunatic Sledge posted:

alright, so in 2017 I started Blood is Mine, an interactive sci-fi / body horror story with (original) sprite art. I hosed up toward the end, so it doesn't stick the landing as well as I'd like, but overall I enjoyed working on it. People would post in the comments what the protagonist should do, and I'd write new pages accordingly; at the start I was updating 10 to 20 times per day, but the average size of each page eventually got so big that I had to slow it down.

I learned a lot from my mistakes writing BiM, and November of last year I started My Delirium Alcazar. It's a sequel, but (hopefully) you don't have to read BiM to understand what's going on in MDA. MDA is more fantasy/isekai compared to its predecessor, basically split into two parts: the waking reality, which is still done in sprite art and is the same almost-cyberpunk world as BiM, and a less consistent, more fantastical dream world, which I illustrate with my lovely, sketchy hand drawn art. I'm trying to skate a litRPG line with a lot of videogamey elements, but without going face first into full blown "YOU DO 36 DAMAGE TO ITS HP" business

it's a weird beast with a really dedicated reader base, but I'm struggling to expand my audience (partly because advertising sucks a fat one in 2020)

quote:

The Postapoc Project by D34THROW

Launching December 2021

quote:
In mid-2028, the geographical and geopolitical landscape of Earth changed irrevocably when two megalomaniacs joined forces against the world and tried to take what they thought was there. When conventional turned to nuclear, everything fell apart in clouds of fire and destruction that ended life as we know it. Now, in 2151, it is a struggle to survive, as the descendants of those who survived the Last War scrape by on the skin of their own knuckles - and the efforts of the Outcasts, who brave the Wastes and scour the Exclusion Zones for Old World fortunes and technology, in the hope that perhaps one day the world might return to the better days that are now gone.

Spoiler Policy

To avoid ruining surprises for anyone who hasn't quite caught up yet, discussion about anything in the past two updates of any active story must be enclosed in Spoiler Tags.

Additionally, if there is someone actively posting in the thread who is currently reading a story, please put spoiler tags around any significant plot details of that story. That said, this thread will not necessarily be safe to read in its entirety if you haven't finished Worm, or caught up on Practical Guide or Mother of Learning or what have you. Use your best judgment!

(OP under construction still, please write summaries)

Fajita Queen fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Nov 16, 2021

# ? Aug 24, 2017 15:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 08:32

Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

Reserved

# ? Aug 24, 2017 15:10

CaptainJuan: Oct 15, 2008; Thick. Juicy. Tender.

Imagine cutting into a Barry White Song.

Definitely add Ra IMO. if nobody else does I'll write up a brief summary later today

# ? Aug 24, 2017 15:50

shades of blue: Sep 27, 2012

Fine Structure is also dope and if you think otherwise you're a dope

# ? Aug 24, 2017 16:32

Argue: Sep 29, 2005; I represent the Philippines

Here's a summary for TWI:

The Wandering Inn is a a story about--well, several people, actually, but primarily, a girl from earth who finds herself teleported into a fantasy world while trying to enter her bathroom. Rather than become a legendary hero, she ends up becoming an innkeeper. However, life isn't so simple, as she still ends up becoming very important to the world. This story takes some obvious inspiration from both western serials like Worm, as well as from Japanese isekai web novels like Kumo Desu Ga--primarily by using the conceit that everyone in that world has discrete levels and skills, like in an RPG. Unlike other stories of the sort, though, the level system isn't an excuse to have a quantifiable power fantasy where we just watch the numbers keep going up. Rather, the level system actually ties in to the larger story, with hints that there are sinister reasons behind why such a system even exists at all. The Wandering Inn updates regularly and consistently every Tuesday and Saturday, and occasionally on other days, when the author has some side stories to share.

===

Since I mentioned Japanese web novels, I'd like to direct some attention to the ADTRW web novel thread, which focuses on those, but will occasionally talk about stuff written by English-speaking folk. If Japanese WNs are fair game here as well, I'd also like to recommend Ascendance of a Bookworm, which is an uplift fic about, yes, a girl from earth who finds herself teleported into a fantasy world. This one, though, is less about the fantasy goings-on and more about her endeavor to bring books to the world (and her efforts to gain enough capital to do so). She can be a bit of a twat at the start, but she gets better, and if you love the genre of story where someone from earth shows up in fantasy land and wows all the medieval rubes with 21st century knowledge, you'll dig this, as it's a very detailed account of how she manages to figure out how to recreate food, paper, attire, plumbing, and so forth with fantasy materials. Bookworm has a very good translation from SA goon blastron, and updates every 2 weeks, but if you know Japanese you can already read it all the way to completion.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 16:40

Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

Thanks, and I did not know that there was an ADTRW thread, that's good to know.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 16:45

ShinsoBEAM!: Nov 6, 2008; "Even if this body of mine is turned to dust, I will defend my country."

I think it's better to keep them separate threads. I also don't think Bookworm is that great, and if that's getting rec'd about a dozen other things would need it too, partially because there is just vastly more of the translated web-serial stuff than native English stuff.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 16:51

sunken fleet: Apr 25, 2010; dreams of an unchanging future,
a today like yesterday,
a tomorrow like today.; Fallen Rib

Daybreak on Hyperion is pretty cool too. It's technically still updating ...just slowly. But the three volumes already up are well worth the read I think. Note the author has stated that it started as a gag project intended to be like four chapters long or something and blew up into the epic war fantasy it currently is - so the very beginning bits are a bit different tonally from the rest of the story.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 19:09

devildragon777: May 17, 2014; They'd be a lot more scary if they were more than an inch tall each.

I'd like to recommend Pact, actually. It's significantly better as a finished work than when it was still updating...

# ? Aug 25, 2017 00:00

blastron: Dec 11, 2007; Don't doodle on it!

ShinsoBEAM! posted:

I think it's better to keep them separate threads. I also don't think Bookworm is that great, and if that's getting rec'd about a dozen other things would need it too, partially because there is just vastly more of the translated web-serial stuff than native English stuff.

Yeah, let's definitely keep them separate threads, but make sure that there's prominent links between OPs. If anyone has WN recommendations, post about them in the other thread and I'll update the OP when I have time.

e: Actually, after looking at the WN OP, there's some English web serial recommendations there that haven't made it into the OP here:

quote:

Savage Divinity
Haunted by memories of a previous life, a dying slave struggles to make sense of the brutal and magical world he finds himself in. Escaping captivity, he is taken in by a tribe of barbarian warriors. He trains to become strong so that he can protect his freedom and his new family. He quickly finds that he is a supernaturally gifted fighter, earning praise from his companions. Unfortunately, he is also an idiot. He fucks up, constantly, inspiring less flattering comments from friends and family alike.
-Avulsion

A Practical Guide to Evil
In a world toyed with by warring gods, in a nation conquered by Evil, in a city pushed to the breaking point by its corrupt Imperial Governor, a snarky teenage orphan with a strong sense of justice and a talent for violence seems like she has all the trappings of a hero-to-be. Fortunately, the Empire has learned to watch out for children like her and take preventative measures. Given a knife and a choice, our protagonist finds herself reluctantly apprenticed to the Black Knight, a genre aware Darth Vader struggling to reform his comically evil Evil Empire into a more pragmatic form of villainy.
-Avulsion

Taint
A young girls gets kidnapped and trapped inside a dungeon full of monsters. She is almost killed but turns into some kind of demon and slowly grows in power. Draws heavily on common WN and Wuxia themes.
-Desuwa

A Hero's War
Two heroes are summoned to another world, one by mistake, and the story mostly follows the second one as he seeks to revolutionize the technology of the world. Compared to a typical WN dealing with similar themes it puts a heavier focus on the negatives and human cost in rapid technological development. It does get pretty heavy on the magibabble and technical details at times, but many readers will appreciate the consistency and worldbuilding.
-Desuwa

Most of these are very WN-esque despite being original English-language stories, which is why they're in the WN OP, but it's up to you whether or not they should go here or in the WN thread.

blastron fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Aug 25, 2017

# ? Aug 25, 2017 01:24

90s Cringe Rock: Nov 29, 2006

The Wandering Inn finally publicly posted that Doctor side-story people were praising a while back. It�s pretty good, and horrifying.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 09:45

Kaja Rainbow: Oct 17, 2012; ~Adorable horror~

About Taint, I'll comment that honestly the most interesting part is when she emerges out of the tower she was trapped in as a hyper optimized killing machine with not much idea how to do anything else, and has to do things like being social.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 12:35

Absum: May 28, 2013

That that's closer to what the story is about yeah. The Tower part is just an intro and pretty short IIRC.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 12:53

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

I'm going to recommend The Dao of Magic, an english xianxia love letter written primarily in a stream-of-consciousness style, about an absurdly powerful "brain" cultivator that is smited by gods down to a lower realm with magic instead of qi. He needs to rebuild his foundation from scratch while preventing a qi-based apocalypse, with the help of some disciples. I think the non-MC characterization is weak, but I still find it to be a gripping series.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 18:18

ShinsoBEAM!: Nov 6, 2008; "Even if this body of mine is turned to dust, I will defend my country."

Kaja Rainbow posted:

About Taint, I'll comment that honestly the most interesting part is when she emerges out of the tower she was trapped in as a hyper optimized killing machine with not much idea how to do anything else, and has to do things like being social.

She isn't very good at interrogating people either.

Taint posted:

I�m about to carry him next to a wall and write the same question I asked the soldier outside the city wall, but before I can even take my first step, I see his eyes suddenly roll back. A few weak tremors wrack the man�s body, then he becomes limp, trailing bonelessly on the floor next to me, the ragged stumps of his legs pumping his blood out onto the carpet.

He�s not dead; I can still hear his heartbeat, but it�s faint and irregular. I don�t think he�s going to survive more than a few seconds more.

�Isn�t that a bit of an overreaction to just losing a few limbs? Surely, even humans aren�t that fragile?

A sigh suddenly comes from Phineas. (He�s gone into shock. You�re not going to get anything out of him.)

[�Shock?]

Did he die of surprise?

Is that even possible?

That has to be the most ridiculous cause of death I�ve ever heard of.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 18:58

nessin: Feb 7, 2010

Some audio serials (delivered as podcasts):

How to Succeed in Evil & The Merchant Adventurer
http://succeedinevil.com/books/

I haven't listened to Merchant Adventurer so I can't comment on it. How to Succeed in Evil is basically the story of a competent lawyer for supervillians who are incompetent.

Steal the Stars
http://tor-labs.com/steal-the-stars/

A recent one that I've started and am probably going to give up. Sci-Fi story picking up on the lives of the people guarding and researching a crashed alien ship, starting 11 years after the event. I'm planning on dropping it because it's looking more like a high school drama. That and part of the background is the US privatized the site shortly after building it giving complete control of it a mega-corporation that takes all that implies (trope wise) to 200%.

Deliberations
http://www.deliberationspod.com/

This one may or may not fit the definition depending on your point of view. A fictional account of a Jury during deliberation with brief flashbacks/cuts back to what was said during the court case.

# ? Aug 26, 2017 06:10

Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

So do you guys want me putting everything that everyone recommends into the OP, or just the stuff that a lot of people are reading?

# ? Aug 26, 2017 06:15

devildragon777: May 17, 2014; They'd be a lot more scary if they were more than an inch tall each.

The Shortest Path posted:

So do you guys want me putting everything that everyone recommends into the OP, or just the stuff that a lot of people are reading?

If we have to pick between one or the other, than just the most popular ones, I think. Someone new to the thread/New to web-serials is best served by showing some of the strongest examples of the...genre, I guess? If people want a giant list of novels, they're better served by topwebfiction and webfictionguide. (Incidentally, probably put links to those into the OP)

# ? Aug 26, 2017 08:20

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

The Shortest Path posted:

So do you guys want me putting everything that everyone recommends into the OP, or just the stuff that a lot of people are reading?

I second devildragon that the OP should be curated to only the highest quality/best introductions to web serials. There are definitely popular stories not well suited for that purpose.

Also, a clearly marked division between finished and unfinished stories would be prudent, I think. Some are really picky about not reading anything they don't know will be finished.

Emmideer fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Aug 26, 2017

# ? Aug 26, 2017 15:22

Nettle Soup: Jan 30, 2010; Oh, and Jones was there too.

jon joe posted:

I'm going to recommend The Dao of Magic, an english xianxia love letter written primarily in a stream-of-consciousness style, about an absurdly powerful "brain" cultivator that is smited by gods down to a lower realm with magic instead of qi. He needs to rebuild his foundation from scratch while preventing a qi-based apocalypse, with the help of some disciples. I think the non-MC characterization is weak, but I still find it to be a gripping series.

Quite enjoying this so far. A bit rough in places, but pretty readable!

# ? Aug 26, 2017 16:14

Silver2195: Apr 4, 2012

Twig is getting really intense right now. The Duke of Francis continues to be badass and is about to fight some sort of primordial-derived experiment, Helen is badly injured, and the Lambs are about to fight the Infante (who is seriously injured but still probably has some bizarre tricks up his sleeve) again, and we still don't know exactly what Fray and Hayle are up to.

It will be interesting to see how it ends. My guess: Sy, Helen, the Duke, the Infante, Avis, Fray, and Hayle all die, while Lillian, Duncan, Ashton, Mary, Jessie, Mauer, the Lord King and everybody else still in Europe, and First Augustus survive. The Crown States effectively become three countries, ruled by Lillian (with help from Mary and Duncan), Mauer, and First Augustus (backed by the smartest pro-Crown Professors left in North America). The sequel comes in a few decades, where the Crown finishes conquering Asia and invades North America again.

# ? Aug 27, 2017 02:00

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Just finished pt 8 of Twig. Holy poo poo that interlude about the Duke, which lamb is he sending the psycho twins after

# ? Aug 27, 2017 07:43

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

In my folly, I have decided to join the legions of the ~~dead~~ serialist. I've near enough written for the first few chapters, since revised several times, but I'm a massive baby. Before I publish anything, or edit it into neurotic oblivion, I'd like some feedback from a goon or two. Not on everything I have written, or even the first chapter. Just the first scene, where I'd like you to answer at least two questions: 1. Did the first paragraph hook you? & 2. Do you have a desperate need to read the next scene?

Please PM if interested. Sorry if I should have posted this request in CC instead, but I figured a section of my target audience would give the most representative answers to those two questions.

# ? Aug 28, 2017 16:10

Megazver: Jan 13, 2006

Could also try, say, /r/noveltranslations and /r/rational. You'll need those people as well if you want to succeed.

I'd give your stuff a look but I don't have PMs, I'm afraid.

# ? Aug 28, 2017 23:05

Tom Clancy is Dead: Jul 13, 2011

I just got to The Twist in TGAB and I'm not sure which would be sadder, if it was planned from the start or if it was made up on the spot. Way to make a cool and unique setting less cool and less unique.

# ? Aug 28, 2017 23:25

lurksion: Mar 21, 2013

Given some writer comments in the later chapters, planned from the start.

# ? Aug 28, 2017 23:33

Elyv: Jun 14, 2013

Tom Clancy is Dead posted:

I just got to The Twist in TGAB and I'm not sure which would be sadder, if it was planned from the start or if it was made up on the spot. Way to make a cool and unique setting less cool and less unique.

Thankfully, most of the time it stays in the background. Unfortunately, about half of the last book* was about it.

*Is there an accepted term for the pre-decimal part if you have, like, chapter 9.18? Neither arc nor book feel quite right to me.

Elyv fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Aug 29, 2017

# ? Aug 28, 2017 23:52

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Elyv posted:

Thankfully, most of the time it stays in the background. Unfortunately, about half of the most book* was about it.

*Is there an accepted term for the pre-decimal part if you have, like, chapter 9.18? Neither arc nor book feel quite right to me.

I've always called those arc or part, and book is the entire work

# ? Aug 29, 2017 00:03

lurksion: Mar 21, 2013

Elyv posted:

Thankfully, most of the time it stays in the background. Unfortunately, about half of the most book* was about it.

Yep, and IIRC that's where somewhere in the comments section near the end he stated he'd had some of the scenes in mind from the start.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 00:19

Ytlaya: Nov 13, 2005

I'm reading Wandering Inn and I'm now at 1.19. I like it quite a bit so far, but this particular chapter is kinda cringeworthy. It's the one where she goes to the market after feeding the goblin children and demands a refund from the drake guy who cheated her. It reads like a fantasy version of those terrible "not always right" shit_that_didnt_happen.txt stories, where the narrator is all witty and awesome and the other person is a dumb rear end in a top hat and everyone starts clapping at how much they were owned by the narrator. Everyone is all laughing at on her side, despite having previous been terrible and bigoted, which I imagine is supposed to be because she killed the chieftain but I don't really see why being tough in a fight would make a bunch of non-humans who hate humans change their mind. It also feels a little out of character for her to suddenly be willing to do all this super bold poo poo given how shy she was the other day. This could have very easily gone poorly for her if the shopkeeper who cheated her wasn't already disliked by all the other shopkeepers.

Anyways, it's a pretty minor gripe, I just gets kind of annoyed with scenes that are unrealistically convenient like that.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 02:48

berenzen: Jan 23, 2012

Honestly, I felt that the first 20 chapters were pretty weak. It gets better after that, and volume 2 is where it feels like the author has managed to settle into their writing chops. Volume 1 definitely shows as the author's first written work.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 03:40

charms: Oct 14, 2012

Reading through Worm, the parts that stuck out to me the most are the ones that seemed to imply that the author has never gone outside (the protagonist gathers intel on some supervillains she just met by looking them up on Wikipedia, the protagonist can tell which Asians are criminals just by looking at their "swagger").

# ? Aug 29, 2017 09:54

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

So.

Guess I'm putting my money where my mouth is.

Near-future superheroes with a dose of classical mythology rendered through a lens as 'hard' as my history teaching brain can make it. Two chapters up. Over a dozen in the wings. Weekly updates at present to ensure that I don't end up falling behind due to work/life/etc.

Milkfred E. Moore fucked around with this message at 10:45 on Aug 29, 2017

# ? Aug 29, 2017 10:32

Silver2195: Apr 4, 2012

charms posted:

Reading through Worm, the parts that stuck out to me the most are the ones that seemed to imply that the author has never gone outside (the protagonist gathers intel on some supervillains she just met by looking them up on Wikipedia, the protagonist can tell which Asians are criminals just by looking at their "swagger").

It never came across that way to me.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 16:36

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

If superpowers were real there would absolutely be a wiki equivalent that would document that poo poo

Also I'm 90% sure she specifically mentions those dudes wearing gang colors SOOOOOO

# ? Aug 29, 2017 16:39

Plorkyeran: Mar 22, 2007; To Escape The Shackles Of The Old Forums, We Must Reject The Tribal Negativity He Endorsed

The only unrealistic thing about PHO was there being only one site and not a bunch of dumb spinoffs with at least two being dedicated to speculating about capes' sex lives.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 19:07

Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

Oh god, imagine the absurd quantity of porn parodies.

And that's not even getting into the possibilities of parahuman adult entertainment, but we definitely don't need to be going there.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 19:15

Fajita Queen: Jun 21, 2012

I just read 3.08H of The Wandering Inn and oh my god, what a fantastic end to that small arc. After all the despair and awful poo poo happening to the main characters since late book 2, things going stupendously well for once is really great.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 20:08

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

On reflection, I've put up two more chapters, thereby starting it off with one from each POV character.

# ? Aug 29, 2017 23:48

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 08:32

lurksion: Mar 21, 2013

The Shortest Path posted:

I just read 3.08H of The Wandering Inn and oh my god, what a fantastic end to that small arc. After all the despair and awful poo poo happening to the main characters since late book 2, things going stupendously well for once is really great.

Good to know, will see on Saturday then

# ? Aug 30, 2017 00:36

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Web Serials: It remains to be seen how important Evanescence will be

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