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curiousCat
Sep 23, 2012

Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?

Stabbey_the_Clown posted:

Nope, he's got immunity from death because he's the Token Crazy Nut. In normal circumstances, this would mean the others would bump him off first, but not in this world.

They can't kill him without causing a trial and getting killed themselves. And anyone who wants to cause a trial wouldn't want him dead.

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ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

curiousCat posted:

They can't kill him without causing a trial and getting killed themselves. And anyone who wants to cause a trial wouldn't want him dead.

He's too useful as a loose cannon to kill off. What a game.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
Dammit, Komaeda. You're a loose cannon, but you get results.

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Dammit, Komaeda. You're a loose cannon, but you get results.

The mental image of Hajime and Nagito as a buddy cop pair getting chastised by Nekomaru as the police chief is making me laugh my rear end off.

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido





: I must say...this elevator is rather quiet. It is like the toad's wart... Oh, wait...never mind!
: Toad's wart...? What's she talking about?
: It doesn't feel like we're moving extremely fast. It seems it's moving very slowly... If so... The two houses might be surprisingly close.
: If the two towers are connected in the middle, the distance between them shouldn't be that much.



: All right...let's head over to Strawberry Tower.



: We can actually continue our conversation with Sonia on this side.



: The Three Laws of Robotics are laws that every robot must follow! They consist of three laws that strive for safety, obedience, and self-defense.

What!? She's explaining this all of a sudden!?

: The first is safety... Human safety.
: In simple terns... The first law stipulates that robots may not harm human beings. The second law is obedience... Robots must obey any order given to it by human beings.
: The third law is self-defense... As long as it does not violate the previous two laws, a robot must protect its own existence.

...Why does Sonia know so much about this?



: Hoooooold on! That explanation is too insufficient. Let your teacher expand upon that!
: Ah, now I can finally act like a teacher... I shall reclaim my dignity right here, right now!
: What're you guys talkin' about!? Now's not the time to talk about that stuff. Let's head over to Strawberry Tower!
: You are right... Perhaps we shall discuss this matter some other time!
: Yeah, let's hurry.
: ...
: Heh, I'm already used to being treated like this... That's right...I'm no longer down about it...



: Chiaki and Gundham are down by the door. While she doesn't have anything useful to say other than to push us along, Gundham...is Gundham.



: Now then, let's see what result awaits us... Have you fiends made up your mind? Don't forget to pray to your god. Well, it's not like I have a god to pray to, anyway...
: I already know...God has been wiped out by my very own hands!



: Let's go on in.



: If you press the button next to this door, you should be able to enter Strawberry Tower...



: Then I'll press it.
: Wait. Step aside, you fiends...
: ...Wh-What?
: Emissary of evil... In accordance with our ancient contract... The time has come to lend me your aid...



: Pierce through! Supernova Silver Fox San-D!



: Chuuuu! Chuuuuu!

*Click!*

: Ah, it pressed the button...?



: Truly, this is the Skyline Lamentation Art of the Demon Mouse...!
: Fuhahahaha! Soon, the door of destiny shall open!
: Wow! Amazing! Your hamsters are truly skilled!
: I see, your eyes managed to follow San-D's movements... As expected of the Dark Lady, you have my praise.
: Amazing! Truly amazing! You must have a strong, trusting relationship with them!
: ...



: Th-Thank you...
: Pfft, you didn't need to bother making your hamster press it...!
: ...



: Mmm... Just as I thought, it's taking a while to open.
: Considering what we discussed earlier... The sensor will confirm that nothing is moving inside the tower, then wait for the other door to close...

*Ga-chunk!*

At that moment, I heard a loud sound from the other side of the door...

No Music.









: Ah, look over there!

The moment we set foot inside Strawberry Tower, Sonia raised her voice.



: It's there... The handbook...!
: ...



: Yep, there's no doubt. This is my student handbook.
: If the handbook Chiaki left in Grape Tower is here...then that means...
: ...It seems that we've confirmed it.



: Strawberry Tower and Grape Tower are actually the same building. And depending on whether you enter from Strawberry Hall or Grape Hall, the tower becomes either Strawberry Tower or Grape Tower.
: Then, that door over there with the grape image on it...



: It's not the exit... But it appears it's connected to Grape House's Grape Hall.



: But...it also means that we have no idea where the exit is...
: Well, I guess that can't be helped. There's no way we'd actually find the exit that easily.
: Well anyway, I'm surprised! I can't believe you already uncovered a secret like this. As expected of Chiaki, you're truly amazing. Normally, all you do is stare into space, but at times like this you really pull through for us.
: ...



: However...why was this building designed so strangely?
: There's probably no reason. It's simply because "it's a Funhouse". That's all the reason Monokuma needs!
: Um...who're you again?
: I'm Monomi! Why did you forget about me!?



: That reminds me... Whatever happened to the Monokuma Announcement?
: What do you mean...?
: According to my internal clock, it's already past 10:00 p.m.!
: Huh!? Is it that time already!?
: Despite that...why hasn't there been a Monokuma Announcement!?





: Allow me to answer! Every single day, up until now... I have consistently let you know when it's morning and night on this island. And thanks to that, you've been able to live a normal life...
: Did you guys mistake me for some kind of pretty alarm clock?



: Ah, well... It's totally true that I'm pretty but...
: ...Hey, what're you tryin' to say?
: For the time being, the Monokuma Announcements are on hiatus. You can't go outside and there are no windows here, so it's not like it matters if it's morning or night.
: Also...I've been thinking of a little something to replace the Monokuma Announcement. Puhu...puhuhuhuhuhuhu. *leaves*





: What's wrong with him...? Well, if there's no announcements, we can just look at the clock...
: Both Strawberry House and Grape House have clocks in their 1st floor lounges.
: Even if I don't look at a clock, I have my internal clock, so it's no problem for me anyway!



: And it's already past 10:00 p.m., right? I'm starting to feel sleepy after hearing that.
: Since we don't have food... It might be better if we rest and conserve our energy.
: For now, let's just decide our room assignments.
: Room assignments...?



: Each house has five guestrooms, so we should first decide who's going to stay in which house.
: Hmmm...why don't we make things simple and split them between the boys and the girls?
: Yes, let us do that!
: That's a bummer but... Well, I guess it makes sense...
: Then ladies first...
: Now then, kittens! Choose which house you would like!



: Let's just choose Grape House. Staring at a red room is just going to strain my eyes.
: Then the men shall have Strawberry House! Strawberry men are known for passion!
: Also...each house had guestrooms of varying quality, right?



: Wasn't it two Deluxe Rooms, one Standard Room...and two Crummy Rooms?
: And we need to decide those next, huh?
: But there are only five rooms in each house, right? Then one guy will be left over...
: Then that means...there's only one appropriate way to settle this!
: Appropriate way...?



: Rock Paper Scissors, of course!



Suddenly...the Rock Paper Scissors battle between six guys had begun!

...

And the results...




: Ah, sorry. I ended up winning so easily.

That's right...I totally forgot...that Nagito is the Ultimate Lucky Student.

: So I take 2nd place... That's fine. I was getting bored of always being on top.
: It's decided! You two will get a Deluxe Room! Now then, regarding the third winner...
: Gaaaahaha! It's meeeeeeeeee! I will be resting in the Standard Room!



: Me and Kazuichi are next...
: Tch, so I get a Crummy Room, huh... Well, it's better than rooming with *someone*.
: ...
: That's unfortunate, Hajime... You can rest in the lounge but try not to catch a cold.
: ...
: Hey, how about you Grape House girls? Did you pick your rooms as well?



: Yeah, we did. We had a brief discussion and settled things smoothly. Sonia and I have the Deluxe Room...and apparently Akane wants one of the Crummy Rooms.
: Huh? Why did you choose the Crummy Room? There's still a Standard Room left over...
: It's good enough for me. You guys might think it's pretty crappy, but it's a palace compared to my home.
: So there is a Standard Room and a Crummy Room left...



: Hajime, if you would like, please use one of them.
: ...Huh?
: Y-You can't do that!
: ...Why not?
: I-I mean...it's dangerous. Hajime might be the traitor, you know...?



: What are you saying?
: Wh-What am I...huh? Huh?
: We...haven't doubted Hajime at all.
: Even I don't think he'd try to trick us.
: It seems that you're the only one who thought Hajime is suspicious.
: Really? Of all people, you're gonna say that!? YOU'RE REALLY GONNA SAY THAT!?



: Hajime, you can use one of our leftover rooms.
: Thank you... I'll feel bad about using the Standard Room, so I'll stay in the Crummy Room...
: But even so...it really helps that I have a place to sleep.
: Now then, it's decided. We should turn in for today.
: It...like...it doesn't make any sense...

Music fades out.



And so, all the guys except for me ended up staying the night on the 2nd floor of Strawberry House...

And all the girls, plus my leftover self, stayed on the 2nd floor of Grape House...




No Music.

: ...
: Jeez! Just as I thought, I was forgotten!
: Well, I'm used to it after all!



: Pfft...tee hee! *leaves*





So this...is the 2nd floor of Grape House...



: Choosing Grape House was definitely a good decision.
: ...Hm? What do you mean?
: You see, Strawberry House is a quadrilateral, but Grape House is hexagonal.
: That means this place is far more spacious. It is quite a good bargain.

For a princess...you sure do think about petty stuff.



: Ah, so sleepy... The Deluxe Rooms are the two rooms at the far back, right? Is it okay if we go already...?
: The two rooms at the front are the crappy rooms, right? Hajime, you use the room next to the lounge.
: So the Standard Room across from the lounge will remain unoccupied...



: I shall prepare nameplates for our rooms later. I shall also include portraits of everyone's face.
: You don't really need to draw our faces...but the nameplates might be a good idea.
: Then...good night. *leaves*

After reaching the limits of her sleepiness, Chiaki staggered over to her Deluxe Room.

: Now then, I shall retire for the evening as well. Good night everyone. *leaves*
: G'night, see ya tomorrow! *leaves*



After exchanging "goodnights", everyone went into their guestrooms.

: ...I should get some sleep too.

Um...I think i was assigned the Drummy Room that's next to the lounge.



: Really quick before we go to bed, a brief 2nd floor tour. The stairs to the 3rd floor are over here, though we can't go up them right now.





: There are also caution taped areas on both the left and right sides of the floor. Don't know why they're there but they are. They just block you from moving into that area.



: Here's the hallway with all the guestrooms.



: And the Lounge is identical to the one in Strawberry House--clock, phone, weird portrait and all.



: Bedtime.



No Music.

This is...a surprisingly shabby guestroom. It's a little cold in here... The draft coming from the door is making me hungry...

: But...I shouldn't be talking like that. For now, I need to endure it no matter what.

No matter what happens...I will definitely prevent a killing from happening... I won't let Monokuma get what he wants...!







: -... . / ... ..- .-. . / - --- / -.. .-. .. -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -.- ..- -- .- - .. -. .
: This concludes the Monokuma Theater: Morse Code Edition.
: (To tell you the truth, I'm out of ideas!)

Gnoman
Feb 12, 2014

Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme




FPzero posted:

: -... . / ... ..- .-. . / - --- / -.. .-. .. -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -.- ..- -- .- - .. -. .

Well, that's a clever reference.

curiousCat
Sep 23, 2012

Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?

FPzero posted:

: -... . / ... ..- .-. . / - --- / -.. .-. .. -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -.- ..- -- .- - .. -. .

quote:

: BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR KUMATINE

Stabbey_the_Clown
Sep 21, 2002

Are... are you quite sure you really want to say that?
Taco Defender
Those clocks in the houses probably are programmed to change when there's no one in the room to mess with people's sense of time even more.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Okay, Gundham's reaction to Sonia's praise is quite cute. Honestly, I like the how the two are getting along, and glad to see other people telling Souda to stop being a dick.

EDIT: Stabby has a point, that's probably where Nekomaru's internal clock will come in.

mateo360
Mar 20, 2012

TOO MANY PEOPLE MERLOCK!
ONLY ONE DIJON!
you know, it's been so long since I had played this that I thought the revelation of the two houses being connected by the tower wasn't until the investigation. I may just have to go and replay the game from this chapter.

Hello Ketene
Dec 30, 2011

FPzero posted:

: For the time being, the Monokuma Announcements are on hiatus. You can't go outside and there are no windows here, so it's not like it matters if it's morning or night.
: Also...I've been thinking of a little something to replace the Monokuma Announcement. Puhu...puhuhuhuhuhuhu. *leaves*

From how extra dickish Monokuma has been this game, I'm expecting the morning announcement to be replaced by half an hour of Nigella Lawson sensually eating food

Max Peck
Oct 12, 2013

You know you're having a bad day when a Cylon ambush would improve it.

Esoteric Scientist posted:

From how extra dickish Monokuma has been this game, I'm expecting the morning announcement to be replaced by half an hour of Nigella Lawson sensually eating food

I'm picturing something more like this but food-themed.

Grouchio
Aug 31, 2014

quote:

*From Monokuma's Introduction*

Fatogami: What...what is going on? What is that thing?
:thunk:

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Hmm. "connected" is one explanation. "On top of each other with gravity shenanigans" is another.

After all, who's to say we're not in space?

Stabbey_the_Clown
Sep 21, 2002

Are... are you quite sure you really want to say that?
Taco Defender

Exactly. It doesn't seem to make sense.

timp
Sep 19, 2007

Everything is in my control
Lipstick Apathy

Stabbey_the_Clown posted:

Exactly. It doesn't seem to make sense.

Depending on the line reading, it could come across like bad fake surprise

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
There's also the Memory Erasure thing too. Considering how much Mikan changed when she remembered who she was it's very possible no one remembers they're the traitor.

It's also possible that the traitor is the incredibly obvious Monomi (looks like Monobear, isn't helpful except for clearing the guardian beasts coincidentally after a murder happens, brought everyone here in the first place and wiped their memories apparently etc. etc.)

It's also also possible that there is no traitor or Monobear is stretching the definition in a way that misleads everyone.

dscruffy1
Nov 22, 2007

Look out!
Nap Ghost
I'm going to venture a wild guess that hamsters pressing buttons will probably come up down the line. It seems like such a weird thing to just jump in and do.

But I guess the last thing they did was climb the pillar to get the scrap of wallpaper?

David Corbett
Feb 6, 2008

Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.

Glazius posted:

Hmm. "connected" is one explanation. "On top of each other with gravity shenanigans" is another.

After all, who's to say we're not in space?

The strawberry house is down?

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

David Corbett posted:

The strawberry house is down?

I understood that reference. Looking forward to Hajime's Game.

Actually, now that I think about this, could this actually be something like Ender's Game? A whole elaborate setup to get students to compete with each other, to groom the perfect... Detective? What?

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

EponymousMrYar posted:

There's also the Memory Erasure thing too. Considering how much Mikan changed when she remembered who she was it's very possible no one remembers they're the traitor.

It's also possible that the traitor is the incredibly obvious Monomi (looks like Monobear, isn't helpful except for clearing the guardian beasts coincidentally after a murder happens, brought everyone here in the first place and wiped their memories apparently etc. etc.)

It's also also possible that there is no traitor or Monobear is stretching the definition in a way that misleads everyone.

I mean I thought the obvious lie in monokumas initial statement was that the "traitor" was working against the group's interests. Given the way the game started with our kidnapper trying to isolate the group and give them happy lives, it seems like the traitor is someone actively opposed to the murder game.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




dscruffy1 posted:

I'm going to venture a wild guess that hamsters pressing buttons will probably come up down the line. It seems like such a weird thing to just jump in and do.

If they can push a button on a wall, can they push the sleep button on Robofriend?

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido

Danganronpa V3 Demo Part 3/3

The trial and a quick replay to see the character intros I missed in the first part. Hope those of you who watched enjoyed my first impressions of the demo, the presentation, new mechanics and more.

curiousCat
Sep 23, 2012

Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?
I missed those same three when I did the demo, I think a lot of people did.

Zakrelo
Dec 19, 2015
I found the dorm but didn't realize you could go into the warehouse. Cue surprise when a dictator and a robot(DRv3) showed up to the trial.

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido



No Music.

: ...It's...morning already...?

Now that there are no Monokuma Announcements... I don't feel like my usual self anymore.

: There should be a clock in the lounge... I should head over there and see what time it is.



: As you can see, Sonia did make pictures, though it's too bad the graphic isn't a handdrawn sketch by her or anything. That would've been a cute touch.





: Let's see...the time is...



...9:00 a.m. It's later than I'm used to waking up, but I guess it still counts as morning.

...Now then, what should I do now? In this kind of situation...panicking will accomplish nothing. It might be better if I spend time like I normally do for as long as I can. I should find someone to talk to...or it might be a good idea to just stay in my room and conserve my energy.








: Before we begin Free Time in earnest, let's take some time to explore the rest of Grape House that we didn't get to see.



: The Standard Room looks a lot like the one we saw in Strawberry House, just with different colors.



: Let's check out the third floor.



: It's pretty empty up here, with only one thing really drawing our attention.



: There are these odd monitors on the walls that periodically flash Monokumas though.





: Anyway, let's check out the Monokuma Archive, because we all know this is a wonderful idea.



: So this is the Monokuma Archive that Nagito was telling me about.

Apparently there are no clues that might be useful for escaping this place but... In the future, it may be necessary to know about the enemy...



: Details and decorations from the first game are strewn all around us and you'll be able to see them as we rotate through the room. The Archive itself has six bookshelves that you can read to learn more about Monokuma.
: And by that I mean learn A LOT about Monokuma.



: This book here is...

"Deep Stories That Really Happened & Will Probably Make You Cry - All 1000 Volumes of 'That Love' by Monokuma"

: ...I should pretend I never saw this.





: This bookshelf has...

"Worldwide Best Seller! The Ten Killing Commandments: Monokuma's Personal Guide to Success and Happiness"

: ...

Somehow, I surpressed my urge to throw it on the floor, and put it back on the bookshelf...





: Let's see...what's on this bookshelf...?

Monokuma's Cute Meaty Diary: Volume 1"

What is this? Is this Monokuma's diary? Has...that guy been keeping a diary this whole time?

Monokuma's Cute Meaty Diary: Volume 1 posted:

Greetings. I'm the Monokuma in charge of Monokuma. I'm the only one who looks good in a fresh salmon jacket. Anyway, it's still pretty recent but I've made a tremendously huge discovery! And I shall share it with you guys, starting now!

First, squat like you're sitting in an invisible chair, and put your hands behind your thighs. Then, hold that position as you raise your thighs. If you keep raising higher and higher, don't you think you'd start floating higher and higher into the air? You would, right? Riiiiight?

Isn't this amazing? Isn't this a revolutionary discovery that'll cause a reform in traffic laws?

But I can't do it. I don't have thighs. Bummer...
: ...

It looks like there are still several volumes to this diary, but what should I do...?

: We're gonna read them all that's what. Get comfy everyone!
: I'm bored anyway... Let's take a quick peek at it...

Monokuma's Cute Meaty Diary: Volume 2 posted:

Eeeeey maaaan! Waaaassup! Monokuma A.K.A. MONOKUMA is in da house! Straight outta DANGANRONPA! I'm in Tokyo, just got here, yo! I'm da best! No contest! My business is such a success! I'm a psychopop, beefy, cute little bear! Make me a t-shirt and watch me shake mah derriere! Yo! Are you stunned by the ill skill of my phunky phresh rhymes? Mad love to all my Monokuma Heads! I'm cryin' from all the passionate LOVE I'm feelin' maaaaaaaan! HEEEEY YOOOOOU! I'm your neighborhood SAAAAY WHOOOOO! I'm no Bruce but I'm still a BOSS! DISCOUNT SOY SAUCE! Everybody clap yo' hands! You gotta DANGANRONPA baby! Eeeeey maaaan!

Monokuma's Cute Meaty Diary: Volume 3 posted:

I would like to talk about how I became Monokuma.

Back then, I was just a lowly salaryman who worked for a food company. One day when I was helping my lover Juliet conduct research on stuffed animals... I was attacked by assassins and sustained critical injuries, which drastically changed my appearance. From there, I received emergency surgery from Juliet, and obtained a body made of cotton and metal... And that's how I obtained superhuman powers! And so, I became "Super Monokuma" and began my revenge against the assassins who attacked me!!!
: It has a mysterious charm to it...I can't stop reading...

Monokuma's Cute Meaty Diary: Volume 4 posted:

I like power! I hate powerless idiots, even though I'm too familiar with them! I'm also loved by everyone today. Oh by the way, this is Monokuma.

Today I shall tell you the circumstances leading up to my appearance in Danganronpa. I guess it all started...around 1905... You might know it as the year Bloody Sunday occurred in St. Petersburg.

My manager received an offer to appear in a game by a certain company. However, my manager was actually a salmon... Plus, she was on the verge of laying her eggs, so she was extremely busy. Because of that, she was only able to write a memo that said, "Offer from Game Company S." It's pretty impressive that a salmon could even write a memo.

Anyway, I was able to instantly figure it out just by looking at the memo. My genius, 100 percent cotton brain decided that this was an important offer that would change my life. A game company known as Company S... It's obviously that fearsome, first-rate company that gets bashed online. You know, the four-sided one... I immediately put on some clothes and headed for Company S.

However...even though it was called Company S, it wasn't actually the four-sided one. It was a company that's famous for lots of reasons called Spice Chunsoft!

Ah, oops...Spice Chinsoft? Space Chincraft?

Oh well.

Anyway, when I found out who they were, I felt so rejected that my strings started to fray. However, I'm a professional. I was touched by the producer's enthusiasm (AKA cash), and I willingly consented to their offer.

And that's how I ended up in Danganrupaul!

Ah, oops...Doggoneronpaul?

Oh well.

Anyway, as punishment for making me misunderstand, I decided to eat my wife for dinner that night. Literally. And ever since then, my eyes have been open to the tasty flavor of salmon.
: I've come this far...I can't stop now!

Monokuma's Cute Meaty Diary: Volume 5 posted:

Hello, I'm Monokuma. Today I shall teach you the best way to arrange a meeting with me. I'll bet you guys wanna see me so badly. You're like a bunch of dogs, barking like crazy and stretching your leashes to their limit.

Soooo, first you need to prepare your money. Ideally, you wanna prepare around 88 dollars. Danganronpa 2 should cost about 44 dollars, including sales tax... Just like life, it's important to take any action with plenty of money in your hands.

Next, head over to the nearest video game store and tell a staff member:

"I wanna buy Danganronpa 2!"

Make sure you say it real loud so the other customers in the store hear you.

"I wanna buy Danganronpa 2, starring the famously cute Monokuma!"

The staff will tenderly bring you the item, as if they're carrying a newborn infant. And if you just give them money in exchange, you'll be able to splendidly obtain Danganronpa 2!

But wait! Don't rush! The game will be wrapped with clear plastic that you must rip open. That's right. Rip off the plastic. The only person who has any right to rip off the plastic is the first person to buy it. Rip off the plastic gently, as if you're undressing a lover. Once you've finished with that, you'll be able to take the game card out of the case. All you have to do now is insert the game card into your PS Vita...but once again, don't rush.

After you take out the game card, you must intentionally break it in half.

"Why would I do something so crazy!?"

...Is what you might be wondering, but don't worry. The fact that you prepared more than enough money will be very useful here! You must immediately return to the video game store and yell loudly at the staff:

"Please give me another copy of Danganronpa 2, starring the modern day sex symbol, Monokuma!"

If you follow these orders, you'll finally be able to meet me! Yep, wasn't that an amazing lecture? I haven't said anything impossible. Seriously.

Puhuhu...
: With this...I've finished reading every volume of Monokuma's diary.

It took me a while, but now I feel this pleasant exhaustion. As if I accomplished something important...

: ...Yeah right!





: What's on this bookshelf...?

Monokuma's Latest Work! There's No Way My Little Sister is this Incompetent!"

: ...Does this mean Monomi? Don't tell me he writes articles when he's bored?





What's on this bookshelf...?

"Despair Boys! Monokuma's Successful Youth Edition"

: What a lovely title...





: Time for another long one. This is the last bookshelf though.

Famous Monokuma Quotes: Volumes 1-19 posted:

Volume 1:
Here's one "Free Massage" ticket! Of course, you're the one who's gonna give the massage! However, if you keep using the "Free Massage" ticket, you will eventually master the Massage Fist! Never underestimate the power of the Massage Fist! It will impress kenpo masters around the world!

Volume 2:
I'm a bear. I have no pockets. Bear, bear. I'm a bear.

Volume 3:
I was hiding between the asphalt and the white line in the Metropolitan Expressway, but nobody saw me! I got really lonely and depressed...but I didn't cry! I held it in until I went to bed!

Volume 4:
I couldn't be proper and serious. That definitely describes me when I'm around salmon.

Volume 5:
What, you don't know!? It's common sense if you're in New York!

Volume 6:
Huh? I've never seen you before. Were you ever...one of my servants? Hey, if you're my servant, tell me your servant number!

Volume 7:
Tuna isn't a bird! Because it can't fly! With this, I've finished presenting my proof!

Volume 8:
Just because I'm a bear doesn't mean I lick honey all the time! Judging me like that is a form of harassment!

Volume 9:
At my seaside veranda, I sip mint tea and watch special features about shocking videos on TV... Only during this peaceful time am I released from the darkness in my heart.

Volume 10:
By transcending all living creatures, all the ladies are under my dominion!

Volume 11:
It's still fine to say, "No, that's wrong!", but I will never allow, "No, that's wrong (lol)"!

Volume 12:
I accept all comers! Those who leave me will be torn limb from limb! Or in a baby voice, "wimb fwom wimb"!

Volume 13:
Let's talk about something that happened a while ago... Back when I was still at the safari park. At the time, the park was on the decline. Everyone there was ignoring the rules and doing whatever they wanted. Those guys had no order at all... It was a wild world, where the weak fall victim to the strong. During this time, I happened to meet a nice guy named Gorillo. As you can guess from his name, he was a pig. Gorillo was bullied at the park a lot. I dislike bullying, so I stood up for him. I used my Assassination Fist that I developed with radio exercises, and beat all those guys in the park by force. To be continued...

Volume 14:
After conquering the park, I became the Overlord of the park in both name and reality. I should be thankful to Gorillo. He was the one who gave me the opportunity to fight. I'm not exaggerating when I say that he helped me become the bear I am today. I don't normally say it because it's embarrassing, but I should take this opportunity to thank him. Gorillo...thanks to you, I was able to become strong. The taste of the pork broth ramen and deep-fried pork cutlets I ate afterward were the best. But when I tried to eat them, it was too oily for me to finish. Sorry about that. If you're reincarnated, become a pig again. I'll probably be able to eat oily food by then. That's all for now! Bye now!

Volume 15:
I found it! I found the nipple! It stood up! The nipple stood up! ...*Gasp*, oh it was just a dream!

Volume 16:
If you're gonna lie, I'm gonna shoot you with a smelly liquid from my body!

Volume 17:
I'm good at Rock, Paper, Scissors. Even though I can only make paper, I'll attack you with my paper with all my might, so I usually win!

Volume 18:
Shouldn't you be more complacent? It's hard to do things for other people, but you should be able to do it if you're doing it for yourself. So I think you should be more complacent. And then I think you and others will be satisfied. Puhuhu, I feel so complacent about myself for saying such a beautiful thing.

Volume 19:
Why are you taking this game so seriously?
: ...
: So this is the end... I worked hard and read every last word... But I can honestly say I never expected anything like that. I wasted so much time... I guess the saying "hindsight is 20/20" applies here...



: That's everything to read in the Monokuma Archive. What did you think?
: I'll be honest, I don't think I've ever mentioned it before but I kinda love the Monokuma Theater segments in these games. They're goofy, mostly nonsensical, but occasionally foreshadow something interesting. You just never know when something Monokuma says in them will actually be relevant.
: This Archive is kind of like one gigantic Monokuma Theater and I basically love it for that. It's weird, wacky, full of Monokuma's odd sense of humor and you can tell the game's writers had a lot of fun with the whole thing. Not to mention how out of place the whole thing is considering where we are right now. I'm definitely a fan of the Monokuma Archive, even if none of the students in the game are.
: Oh and before we leave, the 4th Hidden Monokuma is hiding behind one of the statues in here. It's very well hidden but it makes sense that it would be hidden in a narcissistic place like this.





: So even though we just spent a bunch of time reading Monokuma's various handiworks, we didn't lose any Free Time. In fact, we actually have three Free Times to spend with people before going to bed.



: In the interest of meta-gaming the system, I've decided I'm gonna beeline through the rest of Nagito's events. He has a skill (I think) I want and getting it before the next Trial would be helpful.



: So let's head on over to Strawberry House and say hello.



: Nagito has three events left so we'll do one--



: Ah, welcome Hajime.
: What are you welcoming me for...?
: It's probably because you're staying at Grape House... For some reason, you seem like a guest. If I offended you at all, I apologize.
: No, there's no need to apologize...



: Oh yeah, while we're at it, I should let you know our room assignments. The Deluxe Room at the back toward the lounge area is my room. Across from that is Gundham's room, and Nekomaru is in the Standard Room next to mine. Next to Nekomaru's room is Kazuichi's room and across from that is Fuyuhiko's room.
: Of course, we're using the portraits Sonia drew in place of nameplates on our doors... So even if you don't remember, it'll be okay as long as you use that as a sign.
: I didn't know she drew portraits for the guys... For a princess, Sonia's very diligent.
: Drawing a portrait of a lowly human like me...
: I might drown from such undeserved honor...! Sonia's merciful heart might be Ultimate-level, too!

...Even in this situation, he still acts like this.



: Oh. Well, we can talk to him again in a moment to actually trigger his Free Time Events but yeah, Nagito has a special overriding dialogue if you talk to him here. Before we continue though, let's pop into Nekomaru's room.



: He's not in right now, but you may have noticed something hiding here when we were listening in on Fuyuhiko and Akane's conversation yesterday.



: Yes, the 5th Hidden Monokuma for this chapter is hiding behind the desk.





: Alright, like I was saying before, Nagito has three Free Times left to do. We'll do one today and the last two next update.



: I understand the pain of having nothing to do...
: But this is just despair that we have to overcome! In the end, everyone's hope will shine bright!

What should I do? Can I even hang out with Nagito when he's acting like this...?



> Invite Nagito to hang out

: Yeah, I don't mind... There's plenty of time today.

I spent time with Nagito today talking about various things... I guess Nagito and I grew a little closer today.



> Definitely!



Another Hope: This valuable diamond was created from the remaining fragments of the original Hope Diamond when it was cut long ago. Rumors persist that death follows anyone who has this item in their possession.



: Hmmm...this is quite interesting.
: Thanks. I'll take good care of it!
: This present has a Good rating.



: That reminds me...your talent is being the Ultimate Lucky Student, right?
: I happen to think it's extremely boring.
: For someone who's lucky, you still got dragged into this mess. Doesn't that seem ironic to you?
: Not at all! This is simply the beginning of hope!
: Huh?



: I was born with a unique type of hope. This current situation...is foreshadowing the Ultimate Luck that will be arriving afterward.
: ...What do you mean?
: If everything that's happening now seems like bad luck, it's all going to result in good luck in the end. As long as I exist, that will definitely happen.
: So...I can't help feeling excited for what's going to happen. Seeing my beloved embodiments of hope trapped on this island and forced to kill each other so pathetically...



: It's all just a preparation for the good luck that will arrive in the end... I'm going mad from excitement!
: ...
: Huh...? You look confused.

Isn't that obvious...? He thinks the bad luck happening right now is just a preparation for good luck? What's wrong with him...?



: Then...allow me to give you an example. Let's say you end up in a car accident and are hospitalized... On its own, this would seem like bad luck, right?
: Well, yeah.
: But then you meet a lovely nurse at the hospital, and ended up becoming a lovey-dovey happy couple... Doesn't this ending mean it was good luck?
: Well...maybe.



: You never would've met her at all if you hadn't experienced the bad luck of getting in a car accident. Isn't that right?
: ...
: That's always been my experience. The bigger the bad luck I experienced at first...



: The good luck that comes afterward is so big that it wipes out all of that bad luck!
: Does...that really happen to you...?
: Didn't I tell you? That is the talent I possess... That's why I'm called the Ultimate Lucky Student.

So that's why no matter what happens, he's always acting happy and upbeat... No matter who is killed...it's just overshadowed by good luck later... Even though it's only a little bit, I sort of understand Nagito's belief.

...But he's definitely messed up. It's hard to imagine that there'll be a day when we're able to really understand each other.





I left Nagito and decided to go back to my room for the time being...



Um...there should be time for me to move around more freely.




: Next time, more Free Time.

dancingbears
May 10, 2011

You're an idiot,
so start acting
like one.

FPzero posted:

: I'm gonna beeline through the rest of Nagito's events.

Oh boy. :syoon:

FPzero posted:

: You never would've met her at all if you hadn't experienced the bad luck of getting in a car accident. Isn't that right?
: ...

I don't think it's been mentioned before, but you've been knocking it outta the park when it comes to picking and using Hajime's portraits for his dialogue. This one made me laugh out loud.

Double Punctuation
Dec 30, 2009

Ships were made for sinking;
Whiskey made for drinking;
If we were made of cellophane
We'd all get stinking drunk much faster!

FPzero posted:

Monokuma's Latest Work! There's No Way My Little Sister is this Incompetent!"

Trap Sprung and all, but what the gently caress, devs? That's seriously not funny. :barf:

(Don't Google that, by the way.)

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
Monokuma is some kind of shitposting paragon.

Double Punctuation posted:

Trap Sprung and all, but what the gently caress, devs? That's seriously not funny. :barf:

(Don't Google that, by the way.)

Isn't that just a reference to Oreimo?

Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Sep 1, 2017

serefin99
Apr 15, 2016

Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Isn't that just a reference to Oreimo?

I think it's because it's Oreimo he's reacting that way. I mean, it is an incest anime, after all. I mean, I personally don't get it because it's just a show, but w/e.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you

serefin99 posted:

I think it's because it's Oreimo he's reacting that way. I mean, it is an incest anime, after all. I mean, I personally don't get it because it's just a show, but w/e.

From what little I know of Oreimo. No incest actually happens and the Protag gets together with another main character girl. (And I can't remember a single name from that series.)

Double Punctuation
Dec 30, 2009

Ships were made for sinking;
Whiskey made for drinking;
If we were made of cellophane
We'd all get stinking drunk much faster!
Okay, so I'm wrong, it's not the most horrible thing. It's still loving gross poo poo.

hopeandjoy
Nov 28, 2014



MonsterEnvy posted:

From what little I know of Oreimo. No incest actually happens and the Protag gets together with another main character girl. (And I can't remember a single name from that series.)

I once saw a screen cap of the ending.

You heard wrong friend. :shepicide:

Double Punctuation
Dec 30, 2009

Ships were made for sinking;
Whiskey made for drinking;
If we were made of cellophane
We'd all get stinking drunk much faster!
Okay, so it's the second worst technically-not-porn poo poo. Got it.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you

hopeandjoy posted:

I once saw a screen cap of the ending.

You heard wrong friend. :shepicide:

K quickly looked this up, cause now I am curious. It appears I was correct. He ends up with a different girl. And fortunately never makes out or anything worse with his sister. It appears the worst it got was a peck on the cheek, before he moves on with the other girl. (This is just from the quickest skim of wikipedia so this is still potentially wrong. And I don't feel like checking any further.)

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

If Nagito's entire history is radical swings between very unfortunate events and fantastic luck, that might explain his weirdness a little.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you

Robindaybird posted:

If Nagito's entire history is radical swings between very unfortunate events and fantastic luck, that might explain his weirdness a little.

It pretty much explains everything.

amigolupus
Aug 25, 2017

FPzero posted:

Volume 13:
Let's talk about something that happened a while ago... Back when I was still at the safari park. At the time, the park was on the decline. Everyone there was ignoring the rules and doing whatever they wanted. Those guys had no order at all... It was a wild world, where the weak fall victim to the strong. During this time, I happened to meet a nice guy named Gorillo. As you can guess from his name, he was a pig. Gorillo was bullied at the park a lot. I dislike bullying, so I stood up for him. I used my Assassination Fist that I developed with radio exercises, and beat all those guys in the park by force. To be continued...

Volume 14:
After conquering the park, I became the Overlord of the park in both name and reality. I should be thankful to Gorillo. He was the one who gave me the opportunity to fight. I'm not exaggerating when I say that he helped me become the bear I am today. I don't normally say it because it's embarrassing, but I should take this opportunity to thank him. Gorillo...thanks to you, I was able to become strong. The taste of the pork broth ramen and deep-fried pork cutlets I ate afterward were the best. But when I tried to eat them, it was too oily for me to finish. Sorry about that. If you're reincarnated, become a pig again. I'll probably be able to eat oily food by then. That's all for now! Bye now!

Huh. These two are strangely longer and detailed than the rest of the other volumes. Is it just me, or does feel like it alludes to that Danganronpa side novel?

FPzero posted:

:I'm gonna beeline through the rest of Nagito's events.

Oh boy. :syoon:

Cyouni
Sep 30, 2014

without love it cannot be seen

MonsterEnvy posted:

K quickly looked this up, cause now I am curious. It appears I was correct. He ends up with a different girl. And fortunately never makes out or anything worse with his sister. It appears the worst it got was a peck on the cheek, before he moves on with the other girl. (This is just from the quickest skim of wikipedia so this is still potentially wrong. And I don't feel like checking any further.)

I'm just going to poke my way in and say that's wrong. Don't look further, except apparently there's a spin-off manga that says gently caress you to the original LN ending.

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Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
What kind of luck makes up for your friends dying, I wonder?

...getting your memory wiped? So you can't remember? poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo.

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