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tom bob-ombadil
Jan 1, 2012

Kavak posted:

I've played two of those: One was Pandemic, the other was Sentinels of the Multiverse. One of these we played three times and lost each time. One we triumphed and actually had fun. Guess which was which!

I'm guessing Sentinels was the triple loss. Unless you have a hero capable of doing tons of damage (TACHYON) or are good a strategizing/delegating duties between heroes, you are going to lose a battle of attrition to most bosses. I had one game where Unity did nothing for six-eight turns because she just couldn't get the cards to BUILD her robots. Another was a wild slugfest that came down to a hillbilly in the environment SHOOTING Warlord Voss because he had one less HP than our last surviving hero.

Betrayal is sweet as hell. My favorite was the Saw-esque haunt where we all had explosive collars except, WHOOPSIE, one of the 'victims' was secretly the killer and could take their collar off at any time. Our last hero died the turn before he would have unlocked the collar.

tom bob-ombadil fucked around with this message at 23:06 on Aug 23, 2017

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Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Actually it was Pandemic. Maybe the cards weren't getting shuffled right because the plague spread every other turn. Sentinels seemed difficult but we actually made it through quite handily as I remember. I guess it's usually harder than that?

tom bob-ombadil
Jan 1, 2012
Sentinels depends heavily on how the start of the game goes. If the heroes can set up their equipment and powers, they can usually win. If you play with a villain like Citizen Dawn and she sets up the minions that force you to discard two cards from your hand every villain turn, she is going to wreck you.

bbcisdabomb
Jan 15, 2008

SHEESH

Kavak posted:

Actually it was Pandemic. Maybe the cards weren't getting shuffled right because the plague spread every other turn. Sentinels seemed difficult but we actually made it through quite handily as I remember. I guess it's usually harder than that?

If the plauge was spreading ever other turn then yeah, the cards probably weren't being shuffled right. IIRC you split the deck into equal piles, shuffle one of the poo poo Gets Worse cards in each pile, and stack them on each other without shuffling everything together. You can have back-to-back turns where everything gets worse, but you're guaranteed at least a small breather after that. I have had one truly unfortunate turn where two cards were drawn simultaneously, causing us to lose half the outbreak counter that turn alone, but that's very rare.

Pandemic also gets way harder with fewer people. I've won with two players on the hardest difficulty, but that requires a specific party setup and a fair amount of luck.

JustJeff88
Jan 15, 2008

I AM
CONSISTENTLY
ANNOYING
...
JUST TERRIBLE


THIS BADGE OF SHAME IS WORTH 0.45 DOUBLE DRAGON ADVANCES

:dogout:
of SA-Mart forever

dragon_pamcake posted:

I'm guessing Sentinels was the triple loss. Unless you have a hero capable of doing tons of damage (TACHYON) or are good a strategizing/delegating duties between heroes, you are going to lose a battle of attrition to most bosses. I had one game where Unity did nothing for six-eight turns because she just couldn't get the cards to BUILD her robots. Another was a wild slugfest that came down to a hillbilly in the environment SHOOTING Warlord Voss because he had one less HP than our last surviving hero.

Betrayal is sweet as hell. My favorite was the Saw-esque haunt where we all had explosive collars except, WHOOPSIE, one of the 'victims' was secretly the killer and could take their collar off at any time. Our last hero died the turn before he would have unlocked the collar.

I haven't played this game, but you have my sympathies. We once lost an all-day game of Battlestar:Galactica due to one die roll whose odds were solidly in our favour. We were forced to take huge risks in the end game and that last roll just didn't break our way. We wouldn't have needed to take so many risks, but my friend who owned the game was utterly convinced that I was the Cylon (traitor) and kept trying to stop me. I wasn't the Cylon, but the fact that he was sure of it and wouldn't relent ended up breaking up any sort of team spirit and eventually forced us into an all-or-nothing die roll.

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben
Our most memorable game of Betrayal ended with Brandon outwitting a Frankenstein monster after realising that his pathfinding rules as written required him to throw himself into a hole into the basement, then climb the stairs back, over and over trying to reach Brandon on the other side of the hole. I don't know if that was erratad but we all agreed it was totally appropriate.

Reclaimer
Sep 3, 2011

Pierced through the heart
but never killed



Mine was probably the time it was down to me the soccer lady and a ridiculously-geared priest against a flying skull monster that kept killing me, turning me into a monster and sending an evil me vs the priest, who killed me (which turned me good again), then killing me again to restart the cycle.

We couldn't figure out how to defeat the skull but the skull couldn't kill the priest. This went on for an hour or two.

That or maybe the time I was a wounded gypsy and turned powerless traitor right before my turn started, two squares away from a speedfreak child with a gun and a clear line of sight. The child went next.

When it's good it's good but when it's bad poo poo gets real dumb.

Jothan
Dec 18, 2013
I just played this game for the first time! Friend got it as a birthday gift and we all tried it out one game night. Had a lot of fun building up the game board and then one guy drew the ouroboros haunt and mulched a player in one turn b/c none of us had decent Might. We had to kill it before it got too long (read: traversed a certain number of spaces) and so the rest of us had to scramble around trying to get all the items required to do so and then reach both heads in time. The problem is that as the ouroboros grows, the rooms it takes up slow you down, so our main method to do this was piling into the magic elevator and teleporting around the house till we opened to a room we needed.

We killed one of the two heads, another player got whittled down by an ouroboros head, one died to the elevator, and it ended with me trying desperately to make a series of skill rolls with rapidly depleting stats and a ton of stat boosting items while the last head, needing to only traverse two more tiles to win the game, consistently rolled zeroes for movement. Eventually I died, for fun we rolled to see how many more zeroes the traitor would get before finally being able to move (two), and he took the game.

It was a great sort of slapstick horror story, but we were not at all prepared for when the haunt began.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
If someone made a game that was just "the times House goes right, or at least entertainingly wrong", I would pay a lot of money for that.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

and sounds like even with all the errata it's horribly unbalanced, pity because I always thought it sounded like a fun game.

JustJeff88
Jan 15, 2008

I AM
CONSISTENTLY
ANNOYING
...
JUST TERRIBLE


THIS BADGE OF SHAME IS WORTH 0.45 DOUBLE DRAGON ADVANCES

:dogout:
of SA-Mart forever
I don't feel experienced enough to comment on the mechanics of Betrayal despite having played it a fair bit, but I just know that my personal preference is for cooperative games. I enjoy the idea of 4 scrappy heroes uniting against the GM or the pre-written rules of the monsters or whatever one is up against. Then again, my first playthrough of Betrayal ended up with me stuck in the basement basically the whole time, so we didn't get off onto the right foot. I don't remember the details much, which I attribute to some sort of PTSD and my brain trying to protect me from my own memories, which is kind of Cthulhu if you think about it.

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben
It's got a good heart but it was way too ambitious.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
I love all of the concepts behind the game, but combining the randomized map with fiddly haunt scenarios just tears the whole thing in two because there's no real way to balance things out.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Bieeardo posted:

I love all of the concepts behind the game, but combining the randomized map with fiddly haunt scenarios just tears the whole thing in two because there's no real way to balance things out.
I think the haunts and random map is fine, it's the positive feedback loops for the stats where it really goes off the wall.

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben
Wonder if a Betrayal F&F should be a thing?

Aesculus
Mar 22, 2013

As a thought experiment, the GM allowed us to make our own map for the town.



He's rolling with it and working with it now. The castle is a bar, and the clown is the elder's hut.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!
loss edits are getting really abstract these days

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

hyphz posted:

Wonder if a Betrayal F&F should be a thing?

I'm dumb, what's an F&F in this context?

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy

the_steve posted:

I'm dumb, what's an F&F in this context?

Fatal & Friends review.

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

I started a new Fragged Empire campaign yesterday. It's the first time playing this system for all of us, but our first session had an amusing creative moment from my players that I wanted to share.

We're starting with the published Ghost Ship Carthage adventure, in which the characters explore a derelict medical ship that was lost in deep space over a hundred years earlier during the Great Xi'on War. Long story short, if you're unfamiliar with the setting, the Archons, the species that genetically engineered six out of the eight playable races, were exterminated in that war, leaving their genetically-engineered species to fend for themselves. But rather than dumping the group into a spooky ghost ship adventure, I started us off with a prologue in which the characters meet each other and find a tracking beacon and keycard that leads them to the actual ghost ship.

Here's our cast, because I get the feeling I'm going to need:
  • Deirdre, the Nephilim doctor. She's a tube-grown "emissary" of the Nephilim--the species is monstrous-looking and was created to kill all the other playable species, so they've started creating more humanoid "emissaries" to ease diplomatic relations with a friendlier face. Deirdre's one of them, and she specializes in computers and medicine.
  • Helene, the Legion mercenary. If you've played Mass Effect, you can think of the Legion like a less extreme version of krogans: they look more humanoid and they were never genocided, but they were created specifically to fight a war against the Nephilim and are now struggling to build a functioning society. Helene is a mercenary looking to clear her family's name: when Carthage went missing, her ancestors were on board, and they've been labeled as deserters. She wants to prove they were honorable.
  • Tanaka, the Remnant warrior-monk. The Remnant are bear-tiger people who were all wiped out and then somehow brought back to life by a being they now revere as a god. Tanaka is a very spiritual (and psionic!) warrior-monk who hopes that the Archons had some sort of records of the All-Being so he can find clues as to the origin of the being that resurrected his extinct species 70 years ago.
  • Lala, the Twi-Far traveler. Twi-Far are humanoid-looking people who permanently meld with energy beings at adolescence. They're kinda space hippies. Lala is a space hippie with an SMG. Twi-Far are all about curiosity, all about the journey instead of the destination, so Lala just wants to know more about the Archons. Maybe she'll make a painting.
In our first session, all four characters heard separately about a cache of Archon data from the lost ship Carthage being transported on a transport ship--as under-the-radar as possible, just in with all the checked baggage. The characters all needed to figure out how to get past a couple of Legion guards to get into the cargo hold and find the cargo they want to steal. I built in a bunch of ways in, but my players decided to take the most amusing way possible.

Deirdre decides she's going to bluff her way past the guards. The Legion hate the Nephilim (they were literally created to kill each other, after all), so it was going to be a tough one. So she fakes sick, says she has to get back there to get her medicine. Rolls Conversation. Maxes out the roll (three sixes on a 3d6). Nice inaugural roll for the campaign, I'd say. So one of the Legion guards convinces the other that they should let Deirdre in, just for a couple minutes, because "who knows what diseases their kind carry? What if she throws up and infects us all?"

The other characters think, well, gently caress. They all knew other people would be coming after that cargo, so now they're on a ticking clock to get in there before Deirdre gets it. That's when Lala has an idea: she goes up to the guards and pretends Deirdre is her patient, and is not sick, but rather a kleptomaniac. Tanaka, who also has some psychological training, follows her lead, immediately rushing to back her up, saying he's seen these symptoms before and the Twi-Far's got the right of it. That lets them make a cooperative Psychology skill roll, which succeeds.

For her part, Helene gets in by offering to accompany the other two and shoot Deirdre so the guards don't have to bother.

I really liked that solution: one character bluffs her way through, and the others all just "yes, and" that bluff. I think it bodes well for where this game's going to go.

They all decided to work together when they were ambushed in the cargo hold by some space pirates who were also after the cargo, then needed to get out of there because, well, fighting with guns in the cargo hold drew some unwanted attention from the guards outside. The cargo ended up being a key (and a tracking beacon) to access the ship itself, so they jacked the space pirates' ship and went to go plunder the Ghost Ship Carthage themselves.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
I'm going to have to looked into Fragged Empire - my circle of friends is really into Starfinder so having an alternative to look into/borrow from sounds neat!

Falstaff
Apr 27, 2008

I have a kind of alacrity in sinking.

Finished a long-running bi-weekly campaign over the weekend. In celebration we took a group photo of the minis, with all the PCs and their cohorts.



The dragon on the far right is a recurring NPC ally, and the yellow ball in the background is the sun, both of which they rescued during the final adventure.

Pretty happy with how things went, overall, though there was some sadness at the fact that it was all over.

Drone
Aug 22, 2003

Incredible machine
:smug:


Perestroika posted:

The party wasn't so lucky, as the hull integrity failed just moments later and they were sucked out into empty space. The last thing they noticed was Karin making a grab for a gun before they lost consciousness, which was where the session ended because our GM is a cruel god. :allears:

Please tell me this wasn't the end of your Battletech campaign, because these stories are pretty great (and it's really rare to hear anyone actually talking about actually playing A Time of War).

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
Previously on Tanicus - Party members turned out to be half-siblings, one god died and two others may have, and the party is heading towards an isolationist desert island empire ruled by rakshasa to recover another artifact belonging to the Archangel trying to kill the gods and destroy the world...

*****

As the boat sailed on, the seven-spired symbol that Varis received upon becoming a member of the Council of Seven (a loose alliance on the seven most powerful Sorcerers on Tanicus) activated, letting him know that he had an incoming message from the head of the Council herself. The Cabal, the official guild covering the nine Wizard schools of arcane magic, was calling for a Grand Convocation of the most powerful arcane spellcasters on Tanicus. And for the first time in history, they were extending an invitation to both the Council of Seven and the masters of the four Elements to discuss the recent explosion and surge of Wild Magic that was unleashed with the destruction of the Crimson Tower. Varis accepted the invitation and closed the connection, but not before Ksena, his newly discovered half-sister and she of the non-canonical butt touches, noticed the communication device. ”Can you communicate with the other members of the Council with that device?” “Yes, each spire relates to an individual sorcerer.” “Can...can you get in touch with our father with it?”

So Stannis Grumgate, former High Priest to the Goddess of Vengeance and father to Varis, found out via long-distance magical communication that the courtesan that he long thought dead had instead given birth to not just another child, but another child destined for greatness. His reaction was along the lines of a very awkward ”I suppose I will see you both at the Convocation” before breaking the connection.

*****

The Firbolg ship approached the islands of the Rakastani Imperium. Along the way however we ran into a pair of Rakastani patrol ships.



Remember the constructable strategy game Pirates of the Spanish Main? It was a game where you bought sealed packs of "cards" that let you build a ship powered by sail and fight it out on a tabletop map? Well Skeever's player had three or four boxes of that game sitting in the back of
his store for years until the DM asked if he could buy them on the cheap...




So we had a nice little sea battle with some homebrewed rules. It was definitely interesting as ship damage was a mix of remaining hull strength, crew morale, and whether or not the ship was on fire at the time. The PC's mainly stuck to the ship's cannons while I stuck to chain casting Fireball as well as using Wall of Force to "cross the T" on one of the ships. A lot of fun, a nice change of pace, and after we sank both ships the party congratulated the DM on the unique fight. He just smiled...

quote:

Just consider this a practice run, so I can work out all the kinks in the mechanics when the time comes for you guys to run Az's naval blockade.

The Firbolg get us as close as they dare to the island, but we're still a good 50 miles off-shore with two Potions of Swimming and one Flying Carpet between us. Luckily the conundrum is solved thanks to the god Emanyn. A herd of hippocampi (sea horses with two forefeet and bodies ending in the tail of a dolphins) circle the ship, inviting the party to climb on their backs to the ride to shore. Everyone but Varis accepts as Varis is not a fan of boats in the first place and riding a mount THROUGH the water at high speeds freaks him out even more. So the party and our guide, Cho, glide through the water with the greatest of ease while the party's Sorcerer is skimming the water at a height of three feet on his Flying Carpet, clinging on for dear life that he doesn't fall off into the ocean.

It's nightfall when the hippocampi bring us to the docks of Mitzu, one of the main towns of the Rakastani Imperium and home of one of the five rakshasa Caliphs who rule the isolated kingdom. It's a shock to our party who have never seen a city as large as Mitzu before - while the buildings aren't as tall as the towers of Highspire or Springtide, it sprawls out MUCH more in a series of two-to-four story houses in the style of the Arabian Nights. The taller of us put hooded robes on, a covered Aeana rides on Taliessyn's back ala Eyegor from Young Frankenstein, and Cullis just makes a buttload of Stealth checks as Cho takes us through the darkened city to his contacts...

...a group of Kenku.

https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Kenku_(5e_Race)

As a player, I had never heard of Kenku before that session. The DM played the Kenku as pure mimics, only able to say things and make sounds that they had heard before. They had spent the past few weeks since Cho's departure scouting the rakshasa's palace and discovered that the Caliph had rounded up a large number of civilians from town and taken then to the palace on the bluffs above Mitzu. Just after sunrise, the Caliph was planning on sacrificing them them as a "warning" to the peasants that their recent grumblings in light of Cho's "exile" were to be immediately silenced. Of course, we couldn't let this come to pass. The night was spent preparing for the assault while the Kenku went about the city organizing the peasant to launch a revolt in defiance of the Caliph, providing a distraction for us to sneak into the palace.



After climbing the walls and watching Cullis and Ksena go full Thief/Hitman/Splinter Cell on the guards walking patrol, we sneak into the inner courtyard, where the Caliph’s Suken priestess was waiting for us.






The fight had an added bonus - the doors opened inward, so the plan was to run inside and have Cullis use our Immovable Rod to block the doors and cut off any potential reinforcements, including the remaining archers on the outer walls. Unfortunately, Cullis didn't tell ANYONE else about his cunning ruse and Varis stood in the doorway because he had line of sight to all the combatants. The two archers plugged the sorcerer in the back, which upset Aeana enough that she decided to cast Shatter on the wall.

Two critical hits later, the DM decided that it meant she had not only taken out the archers, but the wall as well, and the peasants who had been outside with pitchforks and torches suddenly had the capacity of be more than a distraction and flooded the inner courtyard, taking our their frustrations as well as cutting off the reinforcements. The DM shook his head and laughed. "You guys just saved yourself another encounter with that move."




After cutting our way through the inner courtyard, we made our way to the sacred chamber of the rakshasa Caliph, his Kensai harem mistress, and his Wu Jen consort. This fight was a cast-iron BITCH as the Kensai went full Musashi on us, the Wu Jen went full Lo Pan on us, and the hidden ninja went full blown Bruce Lee on us. And rakshasa themselves are nasty. Did you know that they're immune to all spells 6th level or lower and have Charm Person/Dominate Person/Suggestion? It took everything we had to pull this one out - it might have been the toughest fight we'd ever been in where
no one went to zero HP...and the price was high. Cullis managed to get behind the rakshasa and backstabbed twice, enough to get his HP down enough for the melee to finish him off. But after each attack, the Caliph's response was to point at his weapon and disintegrate it. First was Cullis' short sword that could change to do any damage condition, and then his +2 Frostband short sword. Still, it was enough to help put the fiend down, and as it disappeared into whatever extraplanar dimension is called home, it called out to Cullis.

quote:

Rakshasa - Be warned. I will return in 99 days, I will find your name, and I will kill your entire family.

Cullis - Oh yeah? CULLIS GREENTOPPLE, BITCH!

GM - Let me just get out the in-game calendar here...

*****

The rest of the day is spent helping the peasants evacuate on a massive flotilla of rebel military ships and fishing boats. The plan was for the flotilla to head towards the coasts north of Highspire and make landfall with the hopes of establishing a new home free of the Raksahsa. In return, the leaders of the rebellion pledged to lend whatever aid they could to the fight against Az. Once the flotilla was safely away, the party gathered supplies and headed out into the desert with Cho as our guide, heading towards the pyramid tomb of the ancient Rakastani emperor which contained the second artifact of Az - his plate armor. Our trek across the burning sands led to the following discussion...

quote:


Cho - You must stay aware. Without proper food, water, and shelter the deserts of the Imperium will easily kill you during the height of day and
the dark of night.

Cullis - Well, if we run out of water, can't we just sip from Bubbles?

Ksena - Hey! No one is drinking my water elemental!

Cullis - All I'm saying is that in case of emergency Bubbles can be used as a portable water source!

Varis - And what do you think is going to happen when you pee him back out? Or when he's just sitting in your bladder? You thought kidney stones were bad?

Cullis - ...ow.



About three days into our journey, we come across a series of obelisks surrounding a stone bowl. Floating above the stone bowl is a ruby sphere. One of the pillars had been knocked over by a recent sandstorm, and from what we could make out the entire pillar had been covered arcane runes from tip to base. With the chance of the ruby sphere being a large gemstone, of could Cullis made his way over to it while we were examining the fallen obelisk he made his way over to it. As he got closer Cullis realized that the sphere appeared to contain a swirling storm of some kind, and called Varis over to come take a look at it. After failing an Arcana check, Varis did the next best thing and simply picked up the sphere.

quote:


Varis - It's lighter than I thought...seems to be hollow...

??? - It's hollow because it's my home!

Varis - Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize there was someone in there!

??? - Yeah, and you're shaking my home! Why are you shaking my home?

Varis - I didn't mean to! I just picked the sphere up to examine it and...

??? - Wait. You picked the sphere up? So it's not on the bowl anymore? That means the protection is broken! HAH!

The sphere suddenly cracks in half, and where had once been a ruby sphere now stood...



...a Dao. A genie from the Elemental Plane of Earth.

quote:

"Thank you for freeing me! As a reward for breaking me out of that eternal prison, I will grant your party three wishes!"

It turned out that an adventuring party from the early days of Tanicus had used two of the Dao's wishes, both which backfired in a spectacular manner. Instead of using the third wish, the party chose to bind the Dao into the ruby sphere. "Time and time again people have found me, and I've offered them two wishes, without consequence, if they would use the third one to free me and send me back to my home plane, but they always just used the first two wishes and left me here to waste away!"

The party argued for a good bit. A few of us wanted to avoid temptation and keep walking, a few of us wanted to just kill the Dao (well, one of us, and of course it was Taliessyn), a few of us wanted to wish for something to use against Az (sadly, wishing him away was beyond the Dao's power, as was doing anything against the Caliph we just killed/banished as we would need his True Name) and Cullis was just chomping at the bit for a free wish or two. After about 15 minutes, Varis noticed that Cullis was walking towards the Dao, with thoughts of electrum flashing in his eyes. Varis Misty Stepped over to cut him off...

quote:


Varis - Dao! I have made my decision! One, I would like a physical copy of a Scroll of Wish!

Dao - Granted!


And indeed, an ornate scroll wrapped with a red ribbon appeared in my hand.

quote:


Varis - Second! I hereby wish that the Dao standing directly in front of me be sent to the Elemental Plane of Earth free of any bonds, magical or otherwise, that would tie it to the Material Plane.


A series of glowing chains briefly flashed to life around the Dao before shattering and falling into the sands.

quote:


Dao - ...you freed me. You actually freed me!

Varis - I did.

Dao - ...you realize that there's no way I'm going to give you the third wish, right?

Varis - I'm aware. But you wanted to go home, so go home. Just put in a good word for us in case we ever summon any of your fellow spirits from your home plane.

Dao - Whatever man. Dao out!


The Dao proceeded to vanish. I explained to the party that we could either spend hours and hours bickering and arguing and wait for Cullis to do something very very stupid, or we could send the Dao far far away and maybe make a few friends in the Elemental Plane of Earth. Everyone agreed except for Cullis. "You should have sent him home with the third wish. And used the second one to wish for my swords back!"

And of course, the scroll I received was nothing more than a very fancy scroll with the word "WISH" written on it, although with some unexpectedly nice penmanship.

*****

Two days later, Cho pauses. He slowly turns in place, ears raised. Before any of us could react however, the sand starts swirling around our feet, and up came...






The DM called it a “Sand Dragon” but statted it as a Brown Dragon -
https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/print/VyB3gJDse. I never knew there were freakin' brown dragons. Black, Blue, Green, Red, White. Tiamut doesn't have a brown head, does she?!? It was "only" a Young Brown Dragon but it still gave us a hell of a fight with a breath weapon none of us were prepared for and a tunneling ability like a freakin' Graboid. It was Ksena who had the best time taking it on because she had the ability to "walk" on the sand as we all were stuck and quagmired in it. A Monk with Haste who ignores difficult terrain is NASTY. Definitely a fun fight and one of my most memorable ones if just for the unique monster.

*****

Now, considering we were trekking toward a pyramid across the burning sands, sooner or late is it any surprise we were going to run into a sphinx?



Cho departed our company as soon as the pyramid came into sight. To go any closer to the tomb of a former emperor would have been heresy to his beliefs. He wishes us well and teleported away, leaving us to approach the large structure by ourselves. The entrance to the pyramid was uncovered by the sands, but crouched on the ledge above it was a Androsphinx. It welcomed us with open wings, and promised us that we could gain access to the pyramid without any problems provided we answered its riddle within three guesses. Failure to do so would be...messy.

quote:


The Riddle of Force and Foe:
Two first from ancient civilization lost,
Next first from bane that, lupine lord, did rend;
Then first from ancient king long gone, returned,
And last the first of ancient foe made friend.
The learner goes swift, how, to find such things
And bring the answer, these locked bars to bend?


Taliessyn's player immediately recognized that riddle was steeped in the lore and history of Tanicus. Between her and Ksena knowing the history of Tanicus both in character and out of character, Falinrae and Cullis both being good with riddles in real life, and the timely use of a Legend Lore scroll from Varis, it took two guesses and about 30 minutes of really neat in-character discussion about the history of the world, quickling riddle contests, the definition of bravery vs. the definition of valor, and Cullis finding the guts to give the second answer ("") for the Androsphinx to allow the party entrance into temple.

quote:

Answer(s):
Line One: Sear (SE)
Line Two: Eiryabern (E)
Line Three: Kronus (K)
Line Four: Sjornians (S)
Lines Five and Six: The learner SEEKS the answer.

*****

Sadly, I wasn't at the next session involving the trip through the temple. I was in Cleveland for a weekend of 7th Sea with long-time friends. So all I have are pictures of what was a long, arduous, nail biting dungeon crawl through traps, illusions, bugs, beetles, scarabs, scorpions, man-scorpions, skeletons, and last but not least, mummies. Specifically a Mummy Lord.









The fight was apparently a nail-biter. Ksena's player, who was running Varis, texted me that she had blown a good chunk of Varis' potions and scrolls, along with nearly all of his spell slots, to take down the Mummy Lord and his companions as quickly as they could. Turns out there was a bit of a time limit with the fight that became apparent after a few rounds when an Archangel appeared in the room. It was the same Archangel that our party had encountered a few months ago underneath the inn owned by Cullis' family. It had been summoned by a Cultist of Az to slay us, but told the Cultist that it didn't follow his orders, only Az's, and that our party still had a role to play. When the Archangel appeared in the middle of the Mummy Lord's tomb, it was to herald the arrival of its master, who was coming to claim his old armor.

Az.

So the party had to kill the Mummy Lord REALLY drat quick because Az would simply wipe the floor with us when he arrived. The party managed to slay the Mummy Lord with only a few rounds to spare, grabbed the plate armor from where it was hidden in the tomb/throne room, and teleported back to Highspire with the sound of trumpets echoing behind them.

*****

Oh, and because you guys may be interested, these are the stats for the two artifacts we managed to recover so far.




*****

Highspire had been better days.

The party teleported to the back room of Abeforth's Apothecary and stepped outside of the shop to a city recovering from a vicious assault. The slums and lower-class area had been completed destroyed by Angels of the Burning Host during our trip to the Rakistani Imperium, and only the combined efforts of several religious orders had managed to beat back to the assault from moving into the city. The same was happening in cities all across the world as Az was commanding those underneath him to go forth and spread chaos and destruction in his name.

- The religious orders who had lost their gods (Fergus, Dynae, Tulani) were providing shelter and food in their temples to the displaced.
- The Temple of Reva had turned their looms from weaving the knots of fate and destiny to knitting up clothing and blankets to those who needed them.
- The Thieves' Guild turned the black market loose, forgoing profits and shaking down nobles for more robust "charitable contributions."
- The Temple of Annyn, however, was barricaded shut from the inside.

When Varis knocked on the door, a small voice inside wearily responded "Go away, we still cannot provide resurrections at this time." One Misty Step later, Varis found himself inside an abandoned temple with a 14-year old Acolyte who had been handed responsibility to maintain the temple by the head Priest. The citizens of Highspire had been pounding on the door day and night, demanding that Annyn's faithful provide the means to bring their loved ones back from the dead. As I mentioned a few updates ago Annyn isn't on her throne in Gehenna anymore and the only resurrections possible on Tanicus can only be provided by scrolls and spells like Spare the Dying and Revivify. The key piece of information that Varis took away however was just why the young Acolyte was the only one left in the temple - Annyn called all of her followers to the south to wherever she is hiding. So right now there's a big migration of priests and clergy of the Goddess of Death making their way south. On one hand, there are plenty of places where she could he hiding, including a rumored monastery full of monks dedicated to her. On the other hand, all the way down south, at the very bottom of Tanicus, is a land of ice, snow, howling winds, and hordes and hordes of undead - the Kingdom of the Frozen Wastes, ruled over by none other than one of the most powerful entities in all of the world's history, the Lich King...

*****

In Tanicus, there are four gods dedicated to the various aspects of warfare.

Seane – the Golden Orb, dedicated to power and glory.
Arwin – the Wise Warrior, dedicated to heroism and tactics.
Caradoc – the Foul Destroyer, dedicated to blood lust and conquest.
Myrddin – the Stalwart Guardian, dedicated to strategy and guardianship.

As the party goes about their tasks in Highspire, selling loot, buying gear, and checking in with the local establishments to make sure everything is OK and hasn't been set on fire, we're all told in one way or another that there's someone at the temple of Myrddin that we need to talk to - Ksena, Falinrae and Aeana by their various religious orders, Cullis by the Thieves Guild, Varis by the seers at Reva's temple, and Taliessyn We meet back up and head to Myrddin's temple, which as fitting for a god dedicated to war is designed as a castle-like fortress. Once we arrive, we're met by the head of the order himself, who leads us up to the highest tower in the temple. Two guards open the door into the tower and we step into a huge war room, one much bigger on the inside than on the outside. Standing at the head of a huge map of the continent is a male, ten feet tall, in shining silver plate armor - Myrddin himself.

Myrddin has a piece of information for us - the location of another one of Az's artifacts - but first he wanted to meet with us in person and make sure that our party was on the same page as him. With the end of the world approaching, several other adventuring parties have been undertaking various tasks to stave off the destruction and bring the fight to Az. "I wanted you to know that you no longer need to carry the burden of trying to save the world by yourselves. I also wanted you to know to stop ACTING like you're trying to save the world by yourselves." The gist of Myrddin's conversation with us was a softer-yet-firmer version of Fergus' speech, to stop acting like we were the only people who gave a drat about Tanicus and instead use our experience to bring people together. "What we need right now are allies."

The map table was a "live" representation of the forces allied against Az including the armies of various nations, several hosts of angels, and some of the refugees from the Rakistani Imperium who were offering their services in thanks for being given a new place to settle. "Some people want to run right into the teeth of the tiger, some want to hold back and defend their own kingdoms, and some have no idea what actions they should take. If we are to defeat Az, we must all be on the same page and working towards the same goal. There are several groups working to defeat Az, but your party has been successful in gathering two of Az's artifacts. I do not know where the other artifacts are, but I know the identity of one of the gods who placed the Coronet - Arwin. She will be able to tell you where the Coronet is located. She is currently located at Bridge Keep on the northern border, holding off the forces of her brother Caradoc as they seek to invade this kingdom. Seek her out."

As we prepare to leave Myrddin's presence and head on out to the islands of the Cabal, Cullis looked around at all the various military personnel and gear neatly ordered around the room. ”Hey, I don't suppose you could spare a sword?” Myrddin shrugged, grabbed a nearby short sword from the rack, and hands it over. ”Awesome! I just got a sword from a god! I'm gonna kick all kinds of rear end now!”

*****

Sadly, it was at this point that Skeever's player had to step away from the game. Real life had caught up with him and he couldn't dedicate his full attention during our gaming sessions. In game, Skeever decided that he would be better served helping his tribe acclimate to their migration north and departed the party after we left Highspire. Out of game, Skeever thanked us for the campaign and the door is open for him to return whenever things settle down.

*****

Abeforth himself was heading to the Convocation ("Convocations are best magical flea markets on all of Tanicus!") and our party hitched a ride from his teleportation circle to the islands of the Cabal. A large central island held the Grand Tower, surrounded by a circle of thirteen other islands. Eight of them were dedicated to the recognized schools of magic. Four of the islands had once belonged to the Elementalists until they had decided to break away from the Cabal hundreds of years previous, while the island holding the school of Necromancy had never been "official" since the undisputed master of Necromancy on Tanicus is none other than the Lich King himself. Anyone thinking to presume otherwise has never lived long enough to regret their decision, although there was plenty of time for them to ponder their poor life choices in their new existence as an undead thrall.

Sorcerers had never been been part of the Cabal, and in fact had never even been considered for membership. To the Cabal dragon-blooded sorcerers are an unknown quantity and Wild Magic is nothing more than heresy, especially since the catalyst for this particular Grand Convocation was the sudden explosion of Wild Magic in the Wilderlands (something that for once WAS NOT OUR FAULT!). Even Taliessyn's Wand of Wonder was viewed with suspicion and had to be left outside the Grand Tower, lest the "taint" of Wild Magic infect the Cabal. The only reason Taliessyn herself was allowed in was because Warlock-style magic was new to Tanicus and had yet to be quantified and approved/rejected by the Cabal. Plus her patron is the Queen of Air and Darkness and no one wanted to risk upsetting her.

For the Cabal to call a Convocation of all the Grandmasters was rare. For the Cabal to also invite the four Elemental Grandmasters was unheard of. For the Cabal to include the Council of Seven, the most powerful sorcerers on Tanicus, was something that had never happened in the written history of the organization.

Aside from Varis (who was feeling overwhelmed thanks to Myrddin's speech and the fact that HE was one of the most powerful Sorcerers in the world and now had to act like it), the Council included such luminaries as...

- Stannis Grumgate, human dragon-blooded Sorcerer, former High Priest of Catira, the Goddess of Vengeance, Varis' father, and now known to be Ksena's father.
- A human sorcerer that was the first reoccurring villain the party had encounter just after the start of the campaign when he was the ringleader of an organized crime syndicate in a small town. They had left him live in return for information and promising to keep his activities as “clean” as possible.
- Neferia Loathall, a human Deathtouched Sorcerer whose powers were claimed from the domain of the undead...and an incredibly, ridiculously, sickeningly sweet and perky young woman, complete with an undead raven named "Lenore" for a familiar.

Varis, continuing with his fascination with all things undead and necromantic thanks to three days along side Annyn, immediately hit it off with Neferia. Friendship would be the limit for the duo however as Neferia turned out to be a lesbian. Who was interested in Aeana. Little four-foot tall, green skinned, incredibly optimistic, tries to be friends with everyone Aeana. It was hysterical watching two hyperactive happy characters go from hitting it off and going down the path to becoming buddies, and the slow dawning realization of horror on Aeana's face as Neferia talked about "I woke up one morning, and as I was getting out of my coffin I noticed that a surge of Wild Magic caused my skeletal butler to regrow his flesh! Do you know how hard it is to scour flesh off a skeleton and making sure you don't miss a spot??" It only got worse as Neferia talked about losing a loved one. "One day, I woke up and my cat, Mister Blackwhiskers, had passed away in the night. It was OK though, now he's back and I can love him forever! He smells a little musty, but it just makes me want to cuddle him even more!" Poor Aeana finally managed to stumble away and immediately walked up to Varis.

quote:

Aeana - “Your friend is a monster! She had a skeleton for a butler! And her cat died and she raised him back to life! But not life, unlife! She's not nice at all!"

Varis - "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. She was really hoping you two would hit it off."

Aeana - "Hit it off? She scares me! I can't be friends with her!"

Varis - "Well...she wanted to be more than friends."

Aeana - "More than friends?"

Varis - "Yeah, you know. Friends with...well, all the extra stuff."

Aeana - "I don't understand."

Varis - "Oh...oh, by Reva, don't make me be the one to explain this."

Cullis - "I got this Varis. Aeana, Neferia is a lesbian and she thinks you're cute."

Aeana - "Well...I am cute. Everyone tells me!"

Cullis - "No, not that kind of cute. Like, cute as in 'makes me want to take off my clothes cute.'"


Pause.

Aeana - "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! No! No! That's gross! She's a girl! And I'm a girl! That's...no! It's impossible!

Cullis - "Actually, no it isn't...see, Aeana, when a girl and a girl really like each other..."

Three minutes and several suggestive hand gestures later, all the players are laughing, Aeana is in tears and Varis is trying to stop Taliessyn from killing Cullis. Cullis wisely decides to vacate the lodgings, and then unwisely decides that he's going to go screw with the Illusionists using the Circle of Az to ignore all of their illusions. Cue Cullis just walking through all of the fake walls, mirror images, and false floors that litter the Illusionists' portion of the Grand Tower as he just casually chats with the initiates and sages who are slowly freaking the hell out. All save for the Grandmaster himself, a gnome named Kek who was simply impressed with what Cullis is doing and ended up becoming fast friends with the Rogue.

While this is going on, Falinrae decides to take it upon herself to actually own up to the whole "gather allies and make friends" missive laid down on us by Myrddin and goes to seek out the Grandmaster of the Conjuring School, a wizard by the name of Xiamara. Xiamara Abeforth. Daughter to the owner and namesake of Abeforth's Apothecary. Our party had run into her a few months back during out trip to the island where the Archdevil was bound, where she was held prisoner on the pirate airship we were trying to capture. It turned out that Xiamara had allowed herself to be captured as part of a test of character with regards to Varis whom she felt was taking advantage of her father and his good name. Varis wasn't too pleased with her attitude as she berated him and berated her right back, flunking her test as he came off like a pompous, arrogant jerkhole who let his sorcerer powers go to his head. Falinrae and Xiamara have a long talk about how she had just caught Varis at a bad time (right after a fight where he had gotten injured) and 90% of the time he's actually a nice guy. ("5% of the time, Varis can be an arrogant jerk. The other 5% of the time..well, he IS a Sorcerer." "I know what you mean.") For her personally, the Convocation is a chance for Varis (and by proxy the party) to redeem himself in her eyes. "Tell your friend that he has to be on his best behavior and show his true colors, not those of a petulant 20 year old. The Cabal will help Tanicus one way or another, but whether or not I will help your party depends entirely on him."

Ksena meanwhile meets up with her father figure from her time in the monastery – the Grandmaster of the Divination School, Jurani Stillwind (whom the party had met previously when they visited Ksena's monastery on the way to Ancellyon). Imagine a Shaolin monk who know arcane magic and you have Jurani. She explained everything about Varis and Stannis to him, and his response was wise and profound.

quote:


“Ah.”


Before we fell asleep for the evening, the party's quarters were visited by none other than Stannis himself. Anyone expecting a teary family reunion (the closest we got to a normal family reunion was Taliessyn asking us when we were going to kill him, since that's what HER family reunions entailed) instead got three adults admitting how drat WEIRD the situation was, but that there were much important issues to be discussed. It turned out that Stannis was...not quite on a quest for redemption so much as a quest to figure out what he was supposed to do without vengeance as a driving force in his life. We suggested he go to Highspire and talk to Myrddin and add his knowledge and expertise to the fight against Az. In return, he provided us with a Helm of Teleportation since he understood that our party was traveling the breadth and width of Tanicus in our quest, saving us from having to invest in teleportation scrolls as well as providing us a back-up plan for the next time Varis screws up moving the party across the continent.

*****






The Convocation begins. The bleachers are filled with initiates, non-casting members of the magical community, and the other party members. Two tables had been set up, one for the sorcerers of the Council of Seven and the other holding the four Masters of the Elements. A central podium holds the record keeper and coordinator for the Cabal named Fawn. A raised dais is where the eight Grandmasters of the Cabal are seated. One seat is empty - the one that would "normally" belong to the Grandmaster of the Necromancy school. The Grand Magister of the Cabal, Runa Vestani, welcomes everyone to the Convocation, and as she asks the Record Keeper to introduce old business...

"I'm sorry, am I late?"

...and floating into the room comes a little girl, surrounded by an aura of faint black energy. She speaks in the horror standard sing-song voice that creeps everyone right the hell out. She's the representative of none other than the Lich King himself, who has deemed to finally make an appearance due to the importance of this particular Convocation. The Grand Magister welcomes the little girl on his behalf, and she proceeds to float to the end of the sorcerer's table, hanging in mid-air with a vacant, dead-eyed stare on her face.

OLD BUSINESS

- To allow the reinstatement of the Necromancy School as a recognized school of the Cabal - VOTED AGAINST. The little girl's reaction? "Meh."
- To remove the censure of Kek, Grandmaster of the Illusionist School - VOTED FOR REMOVAL.

NEW BUSINESS

- To give the individual members of the Council of Seven and the four Masters of the Elements full voting rights for the duration of the Convocation - VOTED FOR APPROVAL
- To offer the four Masters of the Elements reinstatement as full Grandmasters to the Cabal and full recognition of the Schools of Air, Earth, Fire, and Water as schools of the Cabal. While the Cabal voted for reinstatement, only two of the Grandmasters agreed to rejoin the Cabal, those of Earth and Water. The Master of Air said the matter warranted "further debate with the School of Air." The Master of the School of Fire said "Such a decision can only come from my master, the great and powerful Pyrefang. But I foresee him agreeing to your terms. I suggest you prepare accordingly."

OPEN DISCUSSION

The crux of the open discussion was to debate the proper response of the Cabal to the return of Wild Magic to Tanicus and the proper response of the Cabal to the threat of Az and the recent celestial attacks. The urgency of Az's assault on Tanicus was countered by the the Cabal's pure hatred of anything relating to Wild Magic. Varis kept quiet (only speaking up to clarify the voting rights of the Necromancy school, which confirmed that the creepy little girl was only there as an observer) as various options were discussed by everyone else.

- Focusing the full efforts of the Cabal on destroying any trace of Wild Magic in the Wilderlands and ignoring the threat of Az.
- Focusing the full efforts of the Cabal on the threat of Az and allowing the Wild Magic to run loose in the Wilderlands.
- Splitting the efforts of the Cabal on containment of the Wild Magic and combating the threat of Az, both through magic and assistance to those in need.
- Enacting the nuclear option: the removal of any and all arcane magic from Tanicus to another plane of existence for the duration of the "Az Crisis," or the permanent removal of arcane magic due to Tanicus' completion destruction at the hands of Az.

The Council of Seven remained silent during the debate as the GM did a fantastic job arguing about four or five of the most powerful casters on Tanicus arguing the pros and cons of each option. Mainly, as Varis I was being quiet because I was trying really freaking hard to be quiet and humble and NOT coming off as a proud and arrogant jerkass. After all the sides had been heard, HEAD SORCERER turned to me and said "Varis will speak for the Council of Seven."

Yeah, no pressure.

quote:

"If the Cabal stands alone, they will fall. I spoke not to slight their power or influence, but to the simple truth of the matter. My party has labored for the past few months under the impression that we were a lone flame in the darkness trying to save the world, but it took the words of the gods themselves to break through our arrogance. The forces of good, law, and order must come together if this world has any hope to survive. By themselves, the Cabal will fall and with it perhaps Tanicus. By the side of others, there is a chance for survival. The Cabal has shown its wisdom in calling together this Convocation and inviting those who it has previously had differences of opinion with, and the Council of Seven and the Elementalists have shown their wisdom in agreeing to attend. I hope that all sides will see the wisdom in banding together, if not for the sake of fighting Az then for the sake of assisting those who have been devastated and driven out of hearth and home by his actions and the actions of his followers.

The Cabal is powerful. But Az himself has brought down gods. My colleagues and I watched, helplessly, as Az slew Fergus right in front of us. If Az could slay the God of the Forge, then our only hope is to band together and fight him with our combined strength.
"

The Grandmaster called for a break at this point. As Varis turned to Neferia sitting next to him to ask how he did, the little girl came SPEEDING up to us, and for a brief moment the eyes of the Lich King himself were staring at Varis before the little girl turned her dead gaze to him.

"HOW DO YOU KILL A GOD?"

*****

When indirectly confronted with one of the most powerful beings on Tanicus, Varis did the only thing that immediately came to mind. Tell the truth.

quote:

"Um...be an incredibly powerful celestial being. And have about three days to spare."

"Gods cannot die. I know this to be true. But you are not lying."

"I saw it happen. I've seen Godsparks bond with mortals tied to a particular god. Az is killing the gods...and who knows if he'll stop there?"

"Indeed. Thank you, mortal."

The girl's head flops towards her shoulders before she quietly floats away. Neferia sums up the whole situation in one word - "Dude! That was too cool!"

*****

The Convocation reconvened after fifteen minutes, with the Grandmaster calling for further discussion on the four options put forward by the Cabal. Before the debate could truly get going however...




...two large angels appeared in the room. They both blew their trumpets as the Master of Air fell to his knees and lifted his hands into the air. "He has arrived," he screamed before crushing a diamond in the palm of his hand and bringing down the various wards and protections surrounding the room from the inside.

And before anyone could react, a loud, beautiful, terrifying voice rang out through the room.

"I HAVE SOME WORDS ON YOUR IMPENDING YET FUTILE DECISION."

CobiWann fucked around with this message at 12:09 on Sep 5, 2017

Podima
Nov 4, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
Oh man I've been waiting eagerly for the next update in this saga and it did NOT disappoint!

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
That poo poo is rad as hell.

masam
May 27, 2010
Right now the cabal, the elementalists, and the council of seven were juuuussstttttt about to live in harmony. And then the air nation summoned an army of loving angels to ruin christmas. seanemas? Arwinmas? Basically gently caress Az and his bullshit. I'm also sharing these stories with friends who don't have the forum because these are wonderful.

Xarlaxas
Sep 2, 2011

Who speaks for the Man's cub?

masam posted:

Right now the cabal, the elementalists, and the council of seven were juuuussstttttt about to live in harmony. And then the air nation summoned an army of loving angels to ruin christmas. seanemas? Arwinmas? Basically gently caress Az and his bullshit. I'm also sharing these stories with friends who don't have the forum because these are wonderful.

It almost sounds like the idea of "let's gather all the most powerful magic users in one place to discuss possibly world-ending events into one place" might have been a bad idea/an elaborate trap all along. . . .

They should have invested more in magical video-conferencing tech! :v:

masam
May 27, 2010
So this is the part where you have every caster in there cast every spell the know. He's bound to fail one of those saves if you throw 700 or so saves at him

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

masam posted:

So this is the part where you have every caster in there cast every spell the know. He's bound to fail one of those saves if you throw 700 or so saves at him
Varis yells "blast his poo poo!" and suddenly Az has 20 different gently caress-your-poo poo spells coming at him at once. It's at least one hell of a surprise round, assuming Az thinks he's gonna get to monologue a bit.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Yawgmoth posted:

Varis yells "blast his poo poo!" and suddenly Az has 20 different gently caress-your-poo poo spells coming at him at once. It's at least one hell of a surprise round, assuming Az thinks he's gonna get to monologue a bit.

Yeah, despite Az being, well, Az, his little maneuver struck me as rather rash and not due to end well. With all those powerful mages throwing all those/that quantums/magitons/Dust around, SOMETHING had GOT to stick. I think he would have done better to hold back and start picking off magi more quietly. Hope that building is still standing afterwards! Hate to see them whup Az then die in a collapse.

Echo Cian
Jun 16, 2011

CobiWann posted:

"I HAVE SOME WORDS ON YOUR IMPENDING YET FUTILE DECISION."



:suspense:

If I did livegames, I would learn DnD just to play with your GM. And with the rest of you. But seriously.

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.
D&D5 PC cast:

:bravo2: Luca, a half-elf bard
:toughguy: Baby Cakes, a human fighter
:science: Thor, a human cleric (storm domain)
:black101: Feng, a half-orc barbarian
:psydwarf: Ruck, a dwarven wizard (necromancer)
:smaug: Fiona, a halfling Paladin (of Bahamut) <---- DMPC, to help with scaling if a player or two is absent; race/class/gender randomly generated

I'm running a D&D5 dungeon crawl wherein the PCs wake up in the middle of the dungeon with no memories and have to find their way out. The dungeon is huge, and there have been clues here and there about what's going on. So far, the PCs know that the dungeon is several thousand years old, a lich built the place, and it was built atop a magical research facility of some kind. There are also dimension breaches here and there because of whatever magic made the place. The rooms, encounters, and loot are all randomly generated. I wrote up the randomization tables myself to be able to scale things the way I wanted. The encounter tables heavily favor hostile encounters, but there are chances for neutral or even friendly encounters.

I mention this because the party has been through three levels of the dungeon and over 30 rooms. They've only found one friendly encounter (a lost faerie dragon that they rescued from a doppelganger and its pet cockatrices) and two neutral encounters (both goblin merchants that offered to trade loot with them). Every other room had increasingly mean monsters in them, and the party is currently in need of a Long Rest badly. Most of them are hurt, most of the casters are short on spells, and the barbarian is exhausted from raging.

Luckily, I rolled up a neutral encounter for the room they were headed toward. I rolled for Succubi/Incubi for the encounter. I decided the idea was that these idiots got lost in the dungeon after coming in through a dimensional breach from their home. They shut themselves into a room to stay away from the more marauding monsters and just waited.

Then the PCs show up.

They see three men and three women, all apparently human. They have barricaded the doors, which makes perfect sense to the party. But they also appear to have busied themselves with turning the room into a harem, rather than a fortress: there's makeshift couches and beds everywhere (made from the remnants of laboratory tables and such), and they've actually taken the time to find (or make?) puffy pillows to distribute all over the room. There's surprisingly little food and water stockpiled, which I note but the party largely ignores. They appreciate the grapes and liquor that these floozies inexplicably have, but dangerously ignore the little details.

The bard goes on point as the party face and starts talking to these people. Things are going well so far, and plan to let the encounter be a sort of high-risk social encounter. The party can get some valuable information and resources if they play their cards right, but playing games with the "humans" in the room risks falling prey to them. Even if their identities are discovered, the succubi are more reasonable than most of the monsters so far, so perhaps they can be negotiated with to work toward a common cause (i.e., escape). Basically, a social encounter to break up the hack-and-slash stuff just a bit.

So let's pause to talk about Thor. His name isn't lazy player design. The player designed the character to be Thor Odinsson. The idea is that he is Literally Thor, and he got wasted and lost a bet in Valhalla, only to wake up stuck in the human world... or so he thinks. He doesn't remember anything any more than anyone else does, so it is unclear to him, to me, and especially to the rest of the party if it is all delusion. Half of the party takes him at his word, and half of them think he's a loon. He carries a hammer and can chuck lightning, so he's at least that much Thor.

He is also a lush, and someone with remarkably few doubts or hesitations. He believes he is a god, after all.

So as Luca and others start in on the social encounter, Thor drinks the prodigious amount of mead offered by one of the young ladies. Now thoroughly drunk, he propositions one of the succubi, effectively bypassing (and auto-failing) the Charm effect that succubi normally have to put on someone to seduce them.

Seeing this, the other succubi/incubi go to work, thinking the game is afoot, albeit suddenly. I call for a Wisdom Save from everyone (except Thor, who's already balls-deep in his succubus). Ruck and Baby Cakes fail. Fiona and Luca pass. Feng is already passed out from carrying several levels of exhaustion. His PC said upon seeing the room full of pillows, "I collapse on a pile of pillows immediately. I talk to no one. I do nothing." So he's immune, being dead to the world from a long day of raging.

I have Thor, Ruck, and Baby Cakes make Constitution Saves against the murderous effect succubi poon has. They all fail, and suffer the full force of 5d10+5 damage. This reduces Thor and Baby Cakes to 0 HP, and brings Ruck to 8. Even worse, this damage reduces max HP until a long rest is had. They all pass out from being hosed to death.

This leaves poor Luca and Fiona awkwardly standing in the corner of the room, outnumbered by succubi and staring at all of this, powerless and horrified. (If Fiona weren't a GMPC, she probably would have gone right to combat as soon as the seductions happened, but he's not a PC so I wanted to leave the decision making up to the PCs, which at that point included only the bard Luca.) So they wait things out and spend them time fending off the advances of incubi and trying to wake Feng.

By the time Feng is awake (and cranky about it), Ruck is also awakened (with 8 max HP) and everyone in the room knows the jig is up. Everyone (including those hosed to death) rolls initiative. Luca has very few spells, Feng has two levels of exhaustion (half speed, disadvantage on skill rolls), and Fiona has no spells left. Ruck has a lot of spells, but has 8 loving HP at level 6 (pun totally intended). Even worse, it's a race against time for Baby Cakes and Thor, whose turns are spent making Death Saves. there are six succubi, so I nerf their HP a bit and leave two of them aside to hit Baby Cakes and Thor each round until someone goes around to deal with them.

When all is said and done, Four succubi/incubi are dead, and two flee via etherealism (only to be killed by a ghost allied with and following the PCs. Long story.) All the PCs survived, but Baby Cakes and Thor both took two out of three Death Save failures. Now the party has a room full of pillows and demon corpses to enjoy their well-earned and extremely awkward long rest.

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

Railing Kill posted:

:toughguy: Baby Cakes, a human fighter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2XGp5ix8HE

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

That is indeed the character's namesake. The player chose a picture of Baby Cakes stabbing someone through a door as his portrait on Roll20.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

masam posted:

So this is the part where you have every caster in there cast every spell the know. He's bound to fail one of those saves if you throw 700 or so saves at him

A flawless strategy that can't possibly fail.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

If they needed a rest so desperately though, couldn't they have just rested in one of the rooms they cleared before moving on to the next?

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

the_steve posted:

If they needed a rest so desperately though, couldn't they have just rested in one of the rooms they cleared before moving on to the next?

Not in this case. They came from a flooded room via a crawlspace, and the rooms prior to that had been sealed off. Usually they can take their chances with getting a long rest wherever they have swept a room, but their situation was a little desperate going into the succubus room.

masam
May 27, 2010
I fully intend to run 8 bit theatre or play as red mage sometime. Mostly because people who play characters like black mage are not usually conducive to a coop game. However the right setting might allow that as a valid strategy

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Skypie
Sep 28, 2008

Bieeardo posted:

House is like Main-Games standby Space Station 13, in that it can spark some amazing scenarios, but it's more likely that one side or the other will just get turbofucked.

This happened last time I played Betrayal. The Haunt triggered in the basement, and my friend is the traitor. Her goal was to essentially keep the little girl Omen kidnapped. The survivors have to beat up the phantasm holding the girl and get her out of the house. Also the traitor apparently rigged the house with tons of bombs.

Not so bad, yeah? Well except each turn the phantasm isn't defeated, the traitor can freely move it to any open room in the basement the phantasm had not already been on. And the Chasm was in the basement, which requires a roll to successfully cross. So she just parked the phantasm on the far side and shifted it across rooms. When someone made it across, she just hopped it back over as we struggled to chase the thing and she eventually just rolled well enough to explode the house and win

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