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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008


____________________________


No Mercy: Sept. 24th

WWE Universal Title Match
Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Braun Strowman

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships Match
Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro

WWE Raw Women's Championship Match
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Emma

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

____________________________

Raw Results

Raw opened with John Cena defeating Jason Jordan.

Roman Reigns came out and said it took Cena 20 minutes to beat a rookie. Rmoan said Cena's either weaker and slower than he says he is now, or Cena was just pulling that kid by a chain to give him hope and squash him hard. Cena says he's barking up the wrong tree. Cena points out Roman's zipper is down, but Roman said he broke it because...heh...Big Dog. Cena said he was just looking to see if Roman had any balls, Roman said of course he'd be looking at them. Cena threatens to beat up Roman and Roman calls his bluff. Roman leaves calling Cena a fraud.

Sheamus and Cesaro defeated Rhyno and Heath Slater. Dean and Seth were on commentary.

Matt and Jeff Hardy were interviewed. Both talked about how they innovated a lot of wrestling in the last 25 years. Jeff brought up his family and how his little girl can see him become Intercontinental champion.

Miz defeated Jeff Hardy to retain his IC title. Miztourage and Matt were ejected from ringside.

Nia Jax confronts Kurt Angle in his office complaining about the B.S. that is Sasha Banks getting a title shot over her when Nia attacked Alexa Bliss at the end of Raw last week. Kurt Angle says that's not how title shots are earned around here, but Nia says that you make your own chances not get them handed to you. Emma is standing there and mocking Nia. They argue but Angle says thats enough it will be a tag match tonight. Nia and Emma vs. Alexa and Sasha. If Nia and Emma win they are added to the title match.

Enzo Amore, Gran Metalik, and Cedric Alexander defeated Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, and Noam Dar when Enzo cheated to win yet again.

Alexa Bliss tried sweet talking Sasha Banks about their match to keep Emma and Nia out of their title match. Sasha snaps at Alexa and says she'd beat her again one on one and make her tap out.

Finn Balor came out and talked about wanting championship gold around his waist. He wanted the Intercontinental Title next, but Bray Wyatt took that away from him. He realizes now that Bray isn't a guy that goes away once you beat him once at a PPV. He says Bray has his demons, but Finn sometimes embraces his and he'll be ready the next time Bray appears. Bray appears on the titantron and they must have hosed up his audio on accident because it was super muffed. I couldn't make out anything besides he went hunting with his mighty hands and that his feud with Balor isn't over. I guess Bray said that the demon and the face paint beat him and not Balor on his own. Bray challenged him at No Mercy to not use the Demon. Finn told him he's gonna do it anyway.

Nia Jax and Emma beat Sasha and Alexa Bliss when Emma stole a pin off of Nia's hard work. Both women are in the women's title match now. Emma tries to celebrate with Nia but Nia lays her out.

Braun Strowman is interviewed about his steel cage match tonight. He said Kurt Angle is out of his mind. This is Braun's first cage match and it's against Big Show. He brings up that the last time they were in a ring together they broke it. He doesn't seen Lesnar in cage matches before big PPV matches. Braun said he's going to smash Show into the steel cage and then dead center into the ring. He's gonna send a message to Angle, Show, and Lesnar that wherever the Monster Among Men goes, Destruction follows.

Dean and Seth are on the way to the ring and see Elias playing guitar. That's it for the segment and Elias' TV time. Before Seth and Dean vs. Gallows and Anderson, Cesaro and Sheamus were arguing with the later and looked like they were gonna fight.

Dean and Seth defeat Gallows and Anderson when Sheamus and Cesaro distract Gallows and Anderson on accident. Gallows and Anderson attack Sheamus and Cesaro after the match while they were calling out Dean and Seth. Sheamus and Cesaro came back in and attacked Gallows and Anderson.

Amore is in the back saying he's taking out Metalik and Alexander to dinner for their victory. Neville comes in and says their victory earned them all a spot in a five way elimination match for Neville's title at No Mercy. Neville says its great in 205 Live when friends become foes. The other two in the match are Brian Kendrick and Tony Nese.

They interviewed the referee who took the crazy bump to the outside of the ring when Show and Strowman collapsed the ring awhile ago. The referee said it was the scariest moment of his life and he has no idea what to expect tonight. He knows that the ring has been doublely reinforced tonight for sure.

Big Show is interviewed and says he's had big matches in his career but none as much against such an intimidating monster like Strowman. But Show has been in more cage matches than Strowman's had matches. Once Strowman feels the cage across his flesh that Show will be in control. Show is tired of young punks like Strowman and Cass telling him that he's going to be put out to pasture and retired and Show is going to teach Strowman respect in that cage.

Braun Strowman defeats Big Show to end Raw. Braun cuts a promo and says if this is what he does to a Giant then expect the same to happen to the Beast at No Mercy. Braun then throws Show through the cage to end Raw.

____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Recap of Nakamura/Orton defeating Jinder/Rusev last week and then the RKO by Orton on Nakamura, ahead of their match tonight for the number one contendership.

  • Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton announced the departure of JBL and welcomed Corey Graves to the announce table. Graves was pleased to be working with Tom again, and noted that Byron was also there.

  • Orton did a backstage promo saying he has seen many so-called new stars crash and burn, and that last week's RKO was a reminder to Nakamura that he couldn't let his guard down for even a second. Nakamura retorted in a promo, acknowledging Orton's skills at coming out of nowhere to inflict pain, but Nakamura would make it be felt EVERYWHERE.

  • Ellsworth was interrupted while trying to introduce Carmella by the insane Kevin Owens, who announced he was going to be the new guest referee. As he tried to force the ref to take off his shirt, Shane McMahon showed up and told him he wouldn't be allowed to ruin another match like he did last week (the crowd booed). They had a great back and forth as Owens poo poo all over Shane, claiming he was desparate for his father's attention and claimed his family would be better off if he hadn't survived his helicopter crash - his dad, his wife, and even his kids. Shane snapped and assaulted Owens, and Daniel Bryan had to rush down, yelling at Shane for losing his cool and demanding to know what he thought he was doing. A visibly distraught Shane walked away as the crowd chanted for him.

  • Backstage Daniel tried to apologize to Kevin who insisted that he was going to sue Shane, WWE and every member of the McMahon family and turn Smackdown into the literal Kevin Owens show. Daniel tried to talk him down but he claimed he was leaving to press criminal charges right now.

  • Nattie defeated Carmella after James Ellsworth hosed up when Carmella was looking like she had the win. Ellsworth assumed she would want to cash in and tried to hand the briefcase over to the ref, Carmella had to call it off and it gave Nattie the time she needed to recover and roll her up for a pin. Afterwards a furious Carmella told Ellsworth he was a miserable excuse for a human being (twice!), insulted him viciously and then declared they were through as a pairing.

  • Dolph Ziggler came out, declared the fans didn't deserve him, then went backstage and came out again to John Cena's music aping his mannerisms/entrance. He cut that off and came back out doing (a terrible) Macho Man, then did Naomi's gimmick complete with glowing hair extensions, before declaring the crowd made him sick and walking off.

  • Aiden English beat Sami Zayn. Clean. Afterwards English insisted on finishing the song that Sami interrupted. Sami chased him up the ramp as English sang at him to please not do so.

  • New Day (Xavier was present) showed up backstage to cheer up Bryan who was still upset about what happened with Shane and Owens earlier. The Usos also arrived and Bryan asked them to name the stipulation for next week's title match - it would be a Las Vegas Street Fight. BIG E was delighted and declared The Usos were about to bust, and was confused at the others hesitation. Daniel Bryan got a phonecall from a man he called "sir" (presumably Vince McMahon) and given clear instructions.

  • Daniel Bryan came to the ring and called down Shane, where he reminded him that he himself had been forced to control his temper and not attack Miz just like Shane had warned him not to. Shane agreed he had gone too far but that he'd been driven into a rage by Kevin mentioning his family, but Bryan reminded him that he has to think about every employee and wrestler's family too. Shane said he would sort this out with Owens, but Bryan explained he'd recieved a call from Vince McMahon and been instructed to inform Shane (specifically in the ring!) that he was indefinitely suspended.

  • Backstage, Jinder Mahal was interviewed and claimed it was irrelevant who won between Shinsuke and Orton, he'd already beaten both of them.

  • Baron Corbin defeated Tye Dillinger in a surprisingly good match largely dominated by Tye until Baron was able to get in a cheap shot to his throat when the ref couldn't see (AJ on commentary was furious). Backstage AJ told Tye he was impressed by him last week and this week, and Corbin's involvement had wrecked what everybody wanted to see. So next week, he was giving Tye a shot at the US Title.

  • An enthusiastic Corey Graves took great delight in throwing to a video package on Bobby Roode, refusing to let Saxton do it.

  • Backstage Ellsworth begged Carmella to take him back and he wouldn't gently caress up anymore. She told him from now on they did things her way, gave him a big ol' kiss and then slapped the poo poo out of him.

  • Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Randy Orton clean in the main event, in a solid match that incorporated a really fantastic counter of the RKO into an armbar. Nakamura hit the Kinshasa to get the pin, watched from a skybox by Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers.

  • Next week will feature 3 title matches from Las Vegas, including Naomi vs Nattie, The Usos vs The New Day, and AJ Styles vs Tye Dillinger.

  • Daniel Bryan got to Kevin Owens backstage and told him that with Shane suspended, that was an end to the matter. Owens laughed that Smackdown was now his personal playground and there was nothing anybody could do to stop him. Bryan informed him that next week, Vince McMahon would be making a personal appearance to deal with this situation.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 03:55 on Sep 7, 2017

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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Sotar
Dec 1, 2009
Braun

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

KungFu Grip posted:

BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

KungFu Grip posted:

BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Is WWE gonna be smart enough to make a top level draw and put the belt on Braun for even a short while or just have Brock win cause they want Brock/Roman at Mania? Search your soul for you know what Vince wants the answer to be

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?
Braaaaaaaaaaunnnn proves WWE should just give up at having cruisers and midweight guys and should just be a fed of hosses since that's the only thing they can do right

mkay0
Nov 7, 2003

I crawled the earth, but now I'm higher
2010, watch it go to fire
If you didn't like that main event, quit watching wrestling

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

cruisers are trash superheavyweights are back bitch

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
Braun wrestled a 20 minute main event, picked Big Show up at the end of it, cut a badass promo without even breathing heavy, then went back and picked up Big Show again and threw him through the cage.

He's literally everything Vince could want and Vince isn't gonna put the belt on him. Hilarious.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU

VJeff posted:

Braun wrestled a 20 minute main event, picked Big Show up at the end of it, cut a badass promo without even breathing heavy, then went back and picked up Big Show again and threw him through the cage.

He's literally everything Vince could want and Vince isn't gonna put the belt on him. Hilarious.

bow wow

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

VJeff posted:

Braun wrestled a 20 minute main event, picked Big Show up at the end of it, cut a badass promo without even breathing heavy, then went back and picked up Big Show again and threw him through the cage.

He's literally everything Vince could want and Vince isn't gonna put the belt on him. Hilarious.

What's even better is their completely acknowledging and lampshading Roman being the chosen one golden boy in this feud with Cena including the opening video package with Rock's embarrassed :raise: when he raised his hand, and having him act like a heel jackass the past two weeks. And then he'll probably just beat Cena who'll raise his hand again to the usual reaction.

Like they are FULLY AWARE of what they should do, and are actively going to choose not to.

Ragnarok the Red fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Sep 5, 2017

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


This is pretty much the choice Gedo had when we could have kept the Belt on Okada for the legendary run, or delay it a short bit but make a new top level draw in Naito.

I'm just not sure Vince will make the right choice cause Vince

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

braun will be fine

Gaz2k21
Sep 1, 2006

MEGALA---WHO??!!??
God I love BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

seeing Big Show be awesome makes me incredibly happy to.

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!

Ragnarok the Red posted:

What's even better is their completely acknowledging and lampshading Roman being the chosen one golden boy in this feud with Cena including the opening video package with Rock's embarrassed :raise: when he raised his hand, and having him act like a heel jackass the past two weeks. And then he'll probably just beat Cena who'll raise his hand again to the usual reaction.

Like they are FULLY AWARE of what they should do, and are actively going to choose not to.

Maybe they are fully aware of it and are booking toward megaface Braun winning the Title and then Roman turning heel to challenge him.

ha

hahahaha

hahahahahahaHAhAhaHaaa

Jackie D
May 27, 2009

Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.


oatgan posted:

braun will be fine

wwe booking usually works itself out

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

braun is precisely the kind of useless stiff they've pushed for years that never took off and eventually gave up on except hes actually good at everything and getting over the more ridiculous poo poo they have him do

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

So basically No Mercy is the raw matches from
Summerslam

Jackie D
May 27, 2009

Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.


Wheres Joe

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
The best Braun moment will forever be the massive pops he got beating the poo poo outta Roman Reigns.

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

Jackie D posted:

Wheres Joe

Injured, will probably be back in a few weeks.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Jackie D posted:

Wheres Joe

Looking for dudes grumpy about PWI rankings so he can hit them with a brick.

RenegadeStyle1
Jun 7, 2005

Baby Come Back
I can't believe they already wasted the Demon Finn thing if this is going to be a multi month feud. Where is this going?

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

Where is this going?

I see that you've never seen a Bray Wyatt feud before.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
Braun owns and I liked Raw.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Braun owns and I liked Raw.

Braun does own, and the only real issue with Raw this week was the same it's been for awhile: 3 hours is too long for the weekly show.

I am really looking forward to Sheamus/Cesaro vs The Club

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
The thing that really gets me is the disparity.

Braun was just awesome tonight and it wasn't all booking-related. His own talents both in the ring and on the mic shined through completely tonight and in one case, managed to elevate a promo that was completely loving stupid.
Roman, meanwhile, basically said haha my dick is big, haha you're gay and oh yeah, he called Cena a bitch again because that's literally the only thing he can do to get a pop in this program. Then he challenged Cena to a fight after he'd already had a match and walked off after making said challenge.

If they're trying to make Roman look like a jackass right now, it's brilliant, but I think Vince thinks that promo was really great.

Jiro
Jan 13, 2004

VJeff posted:


If they're trying to make Roman look like a jackass right now, it's brilliant, but I think Vince thinks that promo was really great.

What do you mean trying? They're just telling him to go out and do his normal poo poo. If he comes across as a jackass it's because he's been written that way for like almost THREE years.

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth
sasha and alexa are gonna gently caress

drrockso20
May 6, 2013

Has Not Actually Done Cocaine
Do we have a thread anywhere for discussing Wrestling games?

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

It was like she was evicting walking garbage.
Pillbug

drrockso20 posted:

Do we have a thread anywhere for discussing Wrestling games?

the punchsport pagoda games thread on this very page

drrockso20
May 6, 2013

Has Not Actually Done Cocaine

MotU posted:

the punchsport pagoda games thread on this very page

Thanks

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

It was an okay Raw, but the Emma and Finn/Bray stuff are bummers and this week's attempt at Controversial Roman Reigns was lame.

Major props for the whole Miz/Jeff thing, though. They set up a match in a fresh and logical way over two weeks, they gave it space and time to breathe and develop and they ended it cleanly and definitively and it was refreshing as hell.

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

SatoshiMiwa posted:

This is pretty much the choice Gedo had when we could have kept the Belt on Okada for the legendary run, or delay it a short bit but make a new top level draw in Naito.

I'm just not sure Vince will make the right choice cause Vince

He made the right choice in 2014 Wrestle Kingdom, and 4 years later I'm confident Naito will become the man in New Japan for a reasonable length next year. Time for white suits, thrown belts, and no governing.

In other news, the standards for 'clean' keep on falling. I've heard people calling the Miz win a clean win, what the hell? Interference saved him on 2 occasions.

Evil Canadian
Sep 10, 2000

No one man should have all that Psycho-Power.

Maybe it was brought up in the general discussion thread but watching raw, and now I am playing through the new Yakuza game...



Bo was totally rocking Majima's jacket.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
https://twitter.com/HulkHogan/status/904715150858518528

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Well, we all know that's not true for you, me, or Hulk Hogan.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
God drat Bray Wyatt sucks. Anyone in a feud with him these days should just make jack off motions with their hand when Bray starts talking and just walk out of the ring without listening to his boring rear end promos. Then they could make a storyline about how Bray has lost his mojo because no one takes him seriously or gives a drat about him anymore.

Since Luke Harper is dead, the greatest thing to come from the Wyatt Family is now BRAUN and it's not even close.

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TwoDogs1Cup
May 28, 2008

DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup
Braun is cool and good

Shame Lesnar is gonna beat him just so Roman can get his win at WM

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