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DeathSandwich posted:Sometimes you spend the entire rest of the scene vomiting uncontrollably. Or magically pantsed in front of a zombie horde. Good times.
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Aug 10, 2017 00:55
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LGD posted:Assuming this is you Google searching for "fat wizard" wasn't coming up with anything good, so poo poo, it is now.
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Aug 10, 2017 01:47
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LGD posted:Assuming this is you Split this picture between IPVG and Wiegieman and you've got some gold.
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Aug 10, 2017 05:11
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MANMODE ME. Whats the worst that can happen?
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Aug 10, 2017 10:42
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boatman?
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Aug 10, 2017 11:54
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Grey Hunter, you are a Halfling Litigant. In a world where the undead kings of an ancient civilization gather their armies to settle ancient feuds to see who will lead far to the south, the forces of Chaos skirmish against one another until they are marshaled under the banner of a single warlord to the north, and the green tide of the orcs batters itself against the mountains to the west, there exists yet a greater evil that skulks in the shadows of the Empire and its neighbors: lawyers.
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Aug 10, 2017 11:57
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Archibald Middlemoot. Halfling Litigator. Archibald would love to be called Archie by his friends. But After the incident with the (terribly illegal) still, followed by his excellently carried case for the prosecution, he unfortunately has none left. (He did lobby the court against the death penalty, he’s not a monster.) Of course, this left him less than 100% popular in his home, so with his name made, he decided that it was time to take his career on the road! His wandering had been long and arduous, with his time in Bretonnia teaching him much about their succession laws. He had been litigator in a number very minor of title claims. Of course, to be someone in Bretonnia, you must know someone. Over the last year it has become clear to Archibald that to progress up the ranks, he will need to win favour with someone of the true nobility. Unfortunately for him, it takes a lot to break social barriers, so here he is surrounded by people he would normally be trying to have hung, trying to look like he can carry his own. Maybe they will need someone talking to death. That happened once. pre:Name: Archibald Middlemoot. Race: Halfling Career: Litigator Character Profile Primary : | WS | BS | S | T | AG | INT | WP | FEL| Starting : | 26 | 37 | 24 | 20 | 41 | 24 | 34 | 32 | Advances : | 00 | 00 | 00 | 00 | 05 | 10 | 10 | 10 | Taken : | 00 | 00 | 00 | 00 | 00 | 10 | 00| 10 | Gained : | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -5 | -- | -- | Current : | 26 | 37 | 24 | 20 | 41 | 39 | 34 | 42 | Secondary : | A | W | SB | TB | M | MAG | IP | FP | Starting : | 1 | 10 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 2 | Advances : | 0 | 02 | - | - | - | 0 | - | - | Taken : | 0 | 00 | - | - | - | - | 0 | - | Current : | 1 | 10 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 2 | Skills: Academic knowledge (Genealogy/Heraldry)+10, Academic knowledge (Law), Charm, Common knowledge (Halflings), Common knowledge (The Empire), Gossip, Haggle, Perception, Read/Write, Secret Language (Guild Tongue), Speak Language (Halfling), Speak Language (Reikspeil)+10, Trade (Cook) Talents: Night Vision, Etiquette, Public Speaking, Resistance to Chaos, Savvy, Specialist Weapon group (sling), Supernumerate. Armour - None Weapons - Hand Weapon Trappings: Book of Empire Laws, Writing Kit. common clothing consisting of a shirt, breeches, and worn boots a tattered cloak a dagger tucked in a boot or belt a sling bag or a backpack containing a blanket a wooden tankard a wooden cutlery set a hand weapon (axe, club, sword, etc.) 7 Gold. Career Exits: Agitator, Demagogue, Guild Master, Merchant, Politician, XP + Advances: Int +5 (free) Int +5 (free) Fel +5 (free) Fel +5 (free) Wounds, Fate: Random Talents: Gold:
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Aug 10, 2017 14:14
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Manmode me please.
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Aug 12, 2017 19:40
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Manmode me.
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Aug 13, 2017 02:17
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Johann Oehlenschläger Johann was pretty sure he finally made it. It wasn't that cleaning the master's socks and smallclothes and chamberpot and shoes and every other little thing that he may want cleaned wasn't fulfilling work (it wasn't), but after seeing the deaths and burnouts of such a large number of the other apprentices crammed into the barracks with him, he had begun to lose faith. At least until the day that the Master told him to pack his few things and get ready to travel to Bretonnia. Was he to become a journeyman? Well, no. Master was quite clear on that point. Johann simply wasn't ready! But he was still assured that if he were to be taken by the elves while in Bretonnia, he would be doing the Gold College a great service for some unknown reason, and on top of that if he were to somehow survive and make it back, well - maybe they'd discuss teaching Johann some -real- magic. How hard could that be? pre:Name: Johann Oehlenschläger Race: Human Career: Apprentice Wizard 31 WS, 28 BS, 28 S, 32 T, 30 Ag, 37 Int, 48 WP, 32 Fel, 1 A, 11 W, 2 F, 1 Mag Skills: Magic Knowledge, Channeling, Magical Sense, Perception, Common Empire Knowledge, Gossip, Read/Write, Search, Speak Language (Magic, Classial, Not-German) Talents: Suave, Super Numerate, Aethyric Attunement, Petty Magic, Very Resilient Advances: +1 Mag, +5 WP, +5 WP, +1 W
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Aug 13, 2017 08:43
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sullat, you are a Dwarven Protagonist.Some problems require finesse, cunning, and a delicate application of tact and subterfuge. You likely have no clue what any of those words mean since you are generally hired to punch people and scare the everloving poo poo out of them. They say if you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life, and buddy, you're on permanent paid vacation. Gangsta Boogie, you are a Dwarven Mercenary. Of every other application here you have literally the most mundane possible job in the Old World. I mean, at least the protagonist fights people because he's a malicious jackass who can only get an erection when he's making someone's life hell. You literally just get paid for loyalty and the ability to swing a sword or fire a gun.  These will be the last two manmodes I roll up for this thread, guys! Thanks for all the interest; I'm going to give these two most of Sunday to throw something together since I didn't get to them until late.
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Aug 13, 2017 10:54
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Sarvesh Vetordeler What you lookin' at, umgi? Oh, nuffin? A hundred generations of dwarfkin, amountin' to nuffin? I comes here, ta teach you children tha secrets of dwarfken, and ya insults me like this? I don't care, your name is nuffin, you children barely know how to walk, and..." The young noble reached for his sword, which was his pre:Name: Sarvesh Vetordeler Race: Dwarf Career: Protagonist Physical Characteristics -------------------------- Height: 4'11” Weight: 155 lbs. Hair Color: Red Eye Color: Dark Brown Distinguishing Marks: Tattoo Character Profile Primary : | WS | BS | S | T | AG | INT | WP | FEL | Starting : | 45 | 31 | 35 | 43 | 21 | 28 | 29 | 21 | Advance : | 10 | -- | 10 | -- | 10 | -- | 05 | -- | Taken : | 10 | -- | 05 | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | Current : | 55 | 31 | 40 | 43 | 21 | 28 | 29 | 21 | Secondary : | A | W | SB | TB | M | MAG | IP | FP | Starting : | 1 | 12 | 3 | 4 | 3 | - | - | 2 | Advance : | 1 | 02 | - | - | - | - | - | - | Taken : | 1 | -- | - | - | - | - | - | - | Current : | 2 | 12 | 3 | 4 | 3 | - | - | 2 | Skills: Common Knowledge (Dwarfs) Dodge Blow Gossip Intimidate Ride Speak Language (Khazalid, Reikspeil) Trade (Smith) Talents Dwarfcraft Grudge-born Fury Night Vision Resistance to Magic Stout-Hearted Sturdy Quick Draw Menacing Street Fighting Strike Mighty Blow Strike to Injure Strike to Stun Trappings: Medium Armour (Mail Shirt and Leather Jack) Shield Riding Horse with Saddle and Harness common clothing consisting of a shirt, breeches, and worn boots a tattered cloak a dagger tucked in a boot or belt a sling bag or a backpack containing a blanket a wooden tankard a wooden cutlery set a hand weapon (axe.) 13 gc Career Exits: Duellist, Ex-Convict, Pit Fighter, Racketeer, Thief, Thug Advances: +5 WS x2 +5 Str +1 Atk
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Aug 13, 2017 15:31
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Alright! Picks have been made and the OP will be up later on tonight. Here's our cast: Sormus, as Greyleaf the Elven Thug LGD as Skag the Beardless, Dwarven Troll Slayer Werix as Jotunn Heavy-Hand, Dwarven Outlaw Grey Hunter as Archibald Middlemoot, Halfling Attorney Wiegieman as Henri de Vienne, Stereotypical Knight Errant McClay as Gunnbjorn Magnusson, Norscan Berserker and Tricky as Cat Hobberry-Patch, Halfling Hunter It was really loving hard to just pick even seven and I could have easily taken eight or nine people but it'd be a clusterfuck any higher than this. Thanks so much for all the interest and while I hope no one drops, I've got some people in mind who can slip in if such a thing happens!
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Aug 14, 2017 02:09
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https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3830270 WE'RE DOIN' IT LIVE
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Aug 14, 2017 03:06
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Here's some important information for your trip through Bretonnia.
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Aug 16, 2017 02:11
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I just read through the Mousillion book and I'm eager to see how you guys handle this place/ who gets to return. Good luck and have fun. E: just realised that my username sounds like something that might wait in the swamps of the barony. By popular demand fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Aug 20, 2017 |
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Aug 20, 2017 18:43
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:I just read through the Mousillion book and I'm eager to see how you guys handle this place/ who gets to return. I first read it up to the pig feud and I went, 'Yes. This is the game I need to run. My players need to settle a feud over a pig. This is important heroic business they must work through.'
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Aug 20, 2017 20:57
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Yeah, haven't read anything posted yet, but I'll be home from gen con tomorrow and I'll try to catch up as Jotunn snaps out of a daydream. I hope We're arguing with peasants about pigs.
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Aug 21, 2017 05:14
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Im trying my best to be the elfiest elf who ever elfed
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Aug 25, 2017 08:33
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I just want to point out that these villages are named "stinker" and "spitter".
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Aug 25, 2017 08:38
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Henri talks to villagers, pt 1code:
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Aug 30, 2017 02:25
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Everybody's subconscious posted:
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Aug 30, 2017 06:27
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it's gonna get worse
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Gunnbjorn preferred the undead to this poo poo.
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Aug 30, 2017 19:45
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Hey, at least they aren't eyeing you up for a swinger party tonight....
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Aug 31, 2017 17:35
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C'mon guys, this is probably the best offer you'll get anytime soon. Just plug your nose and close your eyes. 
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Aug 31, 2017 18:10
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[15:19] <&Sormus> Dyne: making GBS threads on Peasants is the best game [15:28] <~Dyne> giving you a chance to do worse Sormus [15:31] <&Sormus> Dyne: Cut down apple trees, kill the pig, salt the earth [15:35] <~Dyne> the peasants offer you first bite of the apples [15:36] <&Sormus> *scowls at an apple* "The elvish apples are so much better" [15:36] <~Dyne> trust me the book gives an exact description of how these apples should taste and i enhanced it This section, where the players are tasked to be diplomatic with the lovely peasants over their horrible garbage apples, was practically written for a PC like Greyleaf. It suggests the players take a toughness test to not immediately gag at the taste of the apples, which 'are the worst tasting apples the player has ever tasted, taking into account that they may have even eaten a rotten apple before.' A massive failure is supposed to cause vomiting, which obviously ruins any chances at not offending Marfe. Also: [15:39] <Sormus> what do i test to try to scam others into eating them? [15:39] <Sormus> "OH man, these apples are just divine" [15:39] <Sormus> *tap B to hold down vomit* [15:39] <Dyne> i knew you'd ask that
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Aug 31, 2017 21:40
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I'll give you guys a freebie: "You know, those apples would be just perfect for distilled cider" historically good use of horrid apples
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Aug 31, 2017 21:47
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If i have to suffer these apples, i'm making everyone suffer them with me
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Aug 31, 2017 22:11
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Sormus posted:If i have to suffer these apples, i'm making everyone suffer them with me I made him test toughness, willpower, AND fellowship to not give it away and bullshit everyone. Amazingly he passed everything.
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Aug 31, 2017 22:14
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 best elf
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Aug 31, 2017 22:18
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I'm assuming that Archibald, being a halfling, will not be eating or drinking ANYTHING that is not from his own personal stores. He will also be trying to look down the local well for any suspicious glowing green lumps of stone. I've got a real Colour out of Space vibe going on here.
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Sep 1, 2017 08:41
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Starting to count the time until the party realises that what happens in Mousillion stays in n Mousillion and slaughters all the peasants.
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Sep 7, 2017 18:59
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Henri is literally wondering why we can't just beat it out of them. They're peasants who aren't jumping to obey a lord.
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Sep 7, 2017 19:01
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"Dennis drowned slowly, the dwarf forcefully standing on his neck, and his cries of 'help I'm being repressed' only served to fill his lungs with stinking swamp water."
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Sep 7, 2017 19:05
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wiegieman posted:Henri is literally wondering why we can't just beat it out of them. They're peasants who aren't jumping to obey a lord. For enough coin Jotunn will help you out there. Also settle down dyne. I'm not the player who is going to go traipsing off by himself. I know the train that we're on, and I'm not going to derail it. I'm just role-playing the mercenary I've decided to make Jotunn after trying to figure out what to really do with that outlaw background. (And that is to go the veteran mercenary route.) He's an outlaw in part from dwarf customs. Screw honor, give me gold.
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Sep 7, 2017 19:11
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It was more of a general statement to everyone, not just you, so simmer down, stunty. You guys aren't locked in to helping these guys and might find more help elsewhere if you don't want to deal with the pig. Though Jotunn of all people should recognize you can't get somethin' for nothin' and that everyone has a price. Their price just happens to be the kidnapping and/or death of a rival poo poo village's pig.
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Sep 7, 2017 19:24
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John Dyne posted:It was more of a general statement to everyone, not just you, so simmer down, stunty. You guys aren't locked in to helping these guys and might find more help elsewhere if you don't want to deal with the pig. He's taking more issue with the might get something part. If Marfe had said, "yep, I saw what direction that bleeding thief went, and I'll tell you for killing a pig! " Jotunn would be dreaming of bacon and pulled pork.
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Sep 7, 2017 19:31
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If they are going to get around to telling us where the Le Beau is I'm going to shoot the pig anyway. Just so we can try to pin the blame on the another village and have them kill each other.
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Sep 13, 2017 16:28
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Sormus posted:Le Beau Do you pursue Le Beau? >Y / N
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Sep 13, 2017 17:02
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCdn0zg6NDM
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Sep 14, 2017 22:52
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