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Hauki
May 11, 2010


mindphlux posted:

I went to a casino once when I was living in the UK

I played a no limit holdem tournament, drank beer at my table

I won 2nd place in the thing, like 600 quid.

they offered to get me a drink, I figured, gently caress it, I'll have a martini, all james bond like in my (trashy) casino in the uk





I ordered it, they came back 5 minutes later, they didn't know what a martini was. "like... vodka on ice?"

I kindly explained "no, a martini is gin, shaken over ice, strained, with the tiniest splash of vermouth, and I'd like mine with a twist, or wedge of lime please"

they brought me a cup of gordon's gin, on ice, mixed 50/50 with vermouth. and no lime.

lol gently caress

thanks grosvenor

:getout:

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Field Mousepad
Mar 21, 2010
BAE
No one orders that dumb poo poo anymore that's why no one knows how to make it. Just get a jack and coke for gently caress's sake.

Psychobabble
Jan 17, 2006

Field Mousepad posted:

No one orders that dumb poo poo anymore that's why no one knows how to make it. Just get a jack and coke for gently caress's sake.

No one orders martinis anymore so nobody knows how to make them?

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Field Mousepad posted:

No one orders that dumb poo poo anymore that's why no one knows how to make it. Just get a jack and coke for gently caress's sake.

Unless they're still in high school, no one drinks Jack and Coke.

Errant Gin Monks
Oct 2, 2009

"Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch
:hawksin:

Field Mousepad posted:

No one orders that dumb poo poo anymore that's why no one knows how to make it. Just get a jack and coke for gently caress's sake.

Martinis are very popular... I'm confused.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006

mindphlux posted:

I went to a casino once when I was living in the UK

I played a no limit holdem tournament, drank beer at my table

I won 2nd place in the thing, like 600 quid.

they offered to get me a drink, I figured, gently caress it, I'll have a martini, all james bond like in my (trashy) casino in the uk





I ordered it, they came back 5 minutes later, they didn't know what a martini was. "like... vodka on ice?"

I kindly explained "no, a martini is gin, shaken over ice, strained, with the tiniest splash of vermouth, and I'd like mine with a twist, or wedge of lime please"

they brought me a cup of gordon's gin, on ice, mixed 50/50 with vermouth. and no lime.

lol gently caress

thanks grosvenor

i love a Hendricks martini (dirty and dry, like my jokes) so much i'd gently caress it in front of y'all and God and everybody, and i've stopped ordering them entirely because of a double handful of stories like this :(


Field Mousepad posted:

No one orders that dumb poo poo anymore that's why no one knows how to make it. Just get a jack and coke for gently caress's sake.

this is a post that says more about you than about cocktails, my man

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


There's a chain known for it's "martinis", Bar Louie around here where I had to explain how to make a dry martini when I got dragged to a new restaurant opening.

It came with brine...

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



The problem with martinis in particular is that there is no consensus on how to make them any more. Too many times I had people order a martini when they really just wanted a cocktail glass full of chilled vodka because they thought it made them look fancy.

If someone was specific (name your gin, dry, dirty, twist or olive) that's awesome. Otherwise it's a pain to make those people happy.

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race

Why I love working in a college dive bar. I don't have to deal with fancy cocktails, just sling drinks as fast as I can. Owner considers us a 'training bar', where we have to teach people how to drink in a bar like an adult. With all the snark and sass that goes with it.

The bar has a menu with a bunch of Italian dishes on yelp or google or something. That has never been the menu at this bar ever, or at least the past 20+ years. I love having to explain to people that this is a bar that only serves frozen pizzas and ballpark nachos outside my burrito lunch.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Shooting Blanks posted:

The problem with martinis in particular is that there is no consensus on how to make them any more. Too many times I had people order a martini when they really just wanted a cocktail glass full of chilled vodka because they thought it made them look fancy.

If someone was specific (name your gin, dry, dirty, twist or olive) that's awesome. Otherwise it's a pain to make those people happy.

The 80's are quickly becoming memory. It's everyone's duty to normalize it as a gin & vermouth drink nowadays.

Errant Gin Monks
Oct 2, 2009

"Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch
:hawksin:

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

The 80's are quickly becoming memory. It's everyone's duty to normalize it as a gin & vermouth drink nowadays.

As it should be.

Field Mousepad
Mar 21, 2010
BAE

Willie Tomg posted:

i love a Hendricks martini (dirty and dry, like my jokes) so much i'd gently caress it in front of y'all and God and everybody, and i've stopped ordering them entirely because of a double handful of stories like this :(


this is a post that says more about you than about cocktails, my man

I'm a bartender, most people that order stuff like this have only heard about it from movies and have no clue what's in them trust me.

Hauki
May 11, 2010


Field Mousepad posted:

I'm a bartender, most people that order stuff like this have only heard about it from movies and have no clue what's in them trust me.

where do you work so I can make sure to never go there

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Hauki posted:

where do you work so I can make sure to never go there

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Field Mousepad posted:

I'm a bartender, most people that order stuff like this have only heard about it from movies and have no clue what's in them trust me.

You're not a bartender, you press a button on a soda gun.

The Maestro
Feb 21, 2006

Field Mousepad posted:

I'm a bartender, most people that order stuff like this have only heard about it from movies and have no clue what's in them trust me.

drat this whole time I thought the people ordering it from me knew what they were doing. Thanks for setting me straight.

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.
Even if the people don't, the bartender should. If I order a martini and I get asked "vodka or gin?" I'll change my order.

Remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk57WmewiRA

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Field Mousepad posted:

I'm a bartender, most people that order stuff like this have only heard about it from movies and have no clue what's in them trust me.

Just because someone doesn't know how to make a cocktail doesn't mean they don't like it, there's probably a ton of people who love french toast and have no idea it's made with eggs. And so what if they order it because it was in a movie, if they keep ordering it, it's probably because they like the taste.

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Phanatic posted:

Even if the people don't, the bartender should. If I order a martini and I get asked "vodka or gin?" I'll change my order.

Remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk57WmewiRA

all of these videos are still incredible lol

a while ago in the old bartending thread someone posted a video called something like HOW TO MAKE A COCKTAIL that ends with a watermelon getting thrown at the martini glass but I can't find it any more :(

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

Phanatic posted:

Even if the people don't, the bartender should. If I order a martini and I get asked "vodka or gin?" I'll change my order.

Remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk57WmewiRA

The video itself is awful but I always watch the entire thing for two reasons:

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



The Midniter posted:

The video itself is awful but I always watch the entire thing for two reasons:
Laughs and the comments?

EDIT: Remember cokenose guy doing a cocktail that involved constantly wiping his nose on the back of his hand?

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



Submarine Sandpaper posted:

The 80's are quickly becoming memory. It's everyone's duty to normalize it as a gin & vermouth drink nowadays.

I don't drink gin but I'd agree. Anyone that orders their martini dirty is scum, though, just keep it gin and vermouth with a twist.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

JawKnee posted:

all of these videos are still incredible lol

a while ago in the old bartending thread someone posted a video called something like HOW TO MAKE A COCKTAIL that ends with a watermelon getting thrown at the martini glass but I can't find it any more :(

The guys youtube channel is howtobasic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urZf_7NuFvg

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Shooting Blanks posted:

I don't drink gin but I'd agree. Anyone that orders their martini dirty is scum, though, just keep it gin and vermouth with a twist.

I need the olive so I can pretend it's a salad.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Next week: 1400-2200 Friday, 0900-2200 Saturday, 0900-2200 Sunday

:suicide:

Field Mousepad
Mar 21, 2010
BAE

Hauki posted:

where do you work so I can make sure to never go there

Have you ever bartended? 90% of it is figuring out what people actually want because they usually have no clue. The other 10% is pouring draft beers.

mandatory lesbian
Dec 18, 2012

Field Mousepad posted:

Have you ever bartended? 90% of it is figuring out what people actually want because they usually have no clue. The other 10% is pouring draft beers.

you "bartend" at a college bar, i get it, don't have to go on about it

mandatory lesbian
Dec 18, 2012

iospace posted:

Next week: 1400-2200 Friday, 0900-2200 Saturday, 0900-2200 Sunday

:suicide:

you're only working 3 days, what a slacker

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


mandatory lesbian posted:

you're only working 3 days, what a slacker

School the other 4

Field Mousepad
Mar 21, 2010
BAE

mandatory lesbian posted:

you "bartend" at a college bar, i get it, don't have to go on about it

Not even close broski.

Recoome
Nov 9, 2013

Matter of fact, I'm salty now.

Skwirl posted:

The guys youtube channel is howtobasic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urZf_7NuFvg

no egg, 0/10

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH
I love this thread but I was a cocktail bartender for a healthy period and martini chat has put me in a space so I'll just offer to fight each and every one of you all IRL if you can make it to Brooklyn before midnight.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Nobody cares about your opinions re: bartenders

There, can we move on now

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

Field Mousepad posted:

Not even close broski.

Yeah bro, it's the Friday's across town. Not even close to the university at all.

The Maestro
Feb 21, 2006

Phanatic posted:

Even if the people don't, the bartender should. If I order a martini and I get asked "vodka or gin?" I'll change my order.

I think that's on you - do you really want a well gin martini? If you're so particular about your martini then wouldn't you specify in the first place? I will absolutely ask a guest if they want vodka or gin. I don't drink vodka as a rule, but if you change your order because a lot of other people drink vodka martinis, then you are in the wrong.

If you order an old fashioned and are greeted with the same question, then go ahead and order a cab and get the hell out.

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Skwirl posted:

The guys youtube channel is howtobasic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urZf_7NuFvg

hahaha yesss it's still as great as I remember

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



mandatory lesbian posted:

you "bartend" at a college bar, i get it, don't have to go on about it

At the end of the day, a job is a job and most of us do it for money. I made far, far more money bartending at a high volume nightclub vs. a cocktail bar.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006

Field Mousepad posted:

I'm a bartender, most people that order stuff like this have only heard about it from movies and have no clue what's in them trust me.

you're 2-2 on posts that say more about you than about cocktails

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006

Field Mousepad posted:

Have you ever bartended? 90% of it is figuring out what people actually want because they usually have no clue. The other 10% is pouring draft beers.

this is definitely true, though.

Shooting Blanks posted:

At the end of the day, a job is a job and most of us do it for money. I made far, far more money bartending at a high volume nightclub vs. a cocktail bar.

so is this.

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Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



Skwirl posted:

The guys youtube channel is howtobasic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urZf_7NuFvg

I still want to know what the gently caress that black thing is.

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