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DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

They managed to book Andre really well even as he steadily got worse physically. If wrestling were a fighting game he had his damage sliders set up to 200%

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Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

DeathChicken posted:

They managed to book Andre really well even as he steadily got worse physically. If wrestling were a fighting game he had his damage sliders set up to 200%

Hell, Street Fighter has a character who is basically Andre.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Scott Casey was a jobber was a replacement for B. Brian Blair, who was originally supposed to be on the team

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
And Brian Blair was a replacement for Junkyard Dog, who was fired for cocaineeeee.

Which means Scott Casey is the only replacement of a replacement in the history of Survivor Series, which lets you know his standing on the pecking order.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

Shiki Dan posted:

And Brian Blair was a replacement for Junkyard Dog, who was fired for cocaineeeee.

Wait, seriously? I knew JYD was gone but I figured he'd just retired. How the gently caress do you fire JYD for blow and not fire 75% of the locker room?

Platypus Farm
Jul 12, 2003

Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Rarity posted:

Wait, seriously? I knew JYD was gone but I figured he'd just retired. How the gently caress do you fire JYD for blow and not fire 75% of the locker room?

Same way you fire duggan and iron sheikh -- they get caught with it by humanoids

Pinstripe Hourglass
Nov 27, 2008

=RIVER PEOPLE=
Ay yi yi! We look
like... cartoons!

Bad News Brown was awesome actually

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU
Bad News Brown was a legit judoka who won gold at the Pan Am games and a bronze at the Olympics so yeah he was awesome

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
In real life, yeah, but he never really brought that same intensity in the ring or his promos.

I know there's two separate versions of the Bad News post-match promo, probably because the live version (which I believe is the same on the Network and Survivor Series anthology) was botchy and there was one that I think that was redone for Coliseum Video.

Jake Team Promo (w/ Brian Blair)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpuIGxQPxpM

You REALLY want your mind blown?

Bad News Brown was 45 at this point.
Arn Anderson was only 30.

Shiki Dan fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Sep 29, 2017

OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames
Considering how deeply it's ingrained in this era of WWF/E anyone else wanna see Rarity look at Heroes of Wrestling?

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

You'd have to follow it with Resurrection of Jake the Snake. That story (somehow) turned out okay in the end

OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames
I feel like, much like the AE Podcast did, there are points where it would actually be cool to diverge off and do non WWF/E stuff to get a lay of the land as it moves forward.

Like, Starrcade 1997 would be interesting, as would Bash at the Beach 2000 (again both done by AEPodcast), but poo poo like the very first RAW/Smackdown, Heroes of Wrestling, Beyond the Mat etc.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Pinstripe Hourglass posted:

Bad News Brown was awesome actually

On one hand, Bad News Brown's PPV career is linked to some wonderful WTF moments that I can't wait to see Rarity tackle.

Unfortunately, she'll miss out on pretty much all of his main event stuff, including the blow-off to "Bad News Brown is undefeatedASTERISK." So how does Bad News finally eat an L? Does Hogan shrug off offense and finish him off with a boot and legdrop? Does Randy Savage drop the elbow off the top? Does the Warrior splash onto him and go for the pin? Does Ted Dibiase pay him to take a dive?

Bad News Brown finally loses because Hulk Hogan puts on a ridiculous red and yellow helmet with a giant fist on top of it and knocks him out with a headbutt/headpunch. Then Hogan parades around the ring with a license plate tied around his neck. Beautiful.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU
Brown's "I hate everyone because everyone is racist but specifically against me" gimmick was ahead of its time and would bleed into real life when Brown would leave the company after claiming that Vince lied to him about his plans to make him the first African-American world champion

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

OldTennisCourt posted:

I feel like, much like the AE Podcast did, there are points where it would actually be cool to diverge off and do non WWF/E stuff to get a lay of the land as it moves forward.

Like, Starrcade 1997 would be interesting, as would Bash at the Beach 2000 (again both done by AEPodcast), but poo poo like the very first RAW/Smackdown, Heroes of Wrestling, Beyond the Mat etc.

I'm making zero promises but I have considered this. We'll see how I feel.

Gavok posted:

Bad News Brown finally loses because Hulk Hogan puts on a ridiculous red and yellow helmet with a giant fist on top of it and knocks him out with a headbutt/headpunch. Then Hogan parades around the ring with a license plate tied around his neck. Beautiful.

:psypop:

Blasmeister
Jan 15, 2012




2Time TRP Sack Race Champion


Please treat the War Bonnet with respect

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E4V4oi19ow

Do not even ask
Apr 8, 2008


Rarity posted:

You don't get to go around doing what you like and being pissy when things don't go your way.

But that's the American way :911:

Platypus Farm
Jul 12, 2003

Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

I have such clear memories of this.

How much cocaine do you have to be on to manage to deliver this promo straight? Like i don't give a poo poo about how many flips you do or how many wrestle moves you might know. Being able to actually sit there, put on a fist hat and deliver a promo without once breaking character is loving impressive.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

Platypus Farm posted:

I have such clear memories of this.

How much cocaine do you have to be on to manage to deliver this promo straight? Like i don't give a poo poo about how many flips you do or how many wrestle moves you might know. Being able to actually sit there, put on a fist hat and deliver a promo without once breaking character is loving impressive.

enough to get your eyes to look like that is the answer

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?
I keep thinking the interviewer is Val Venis

OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames

Marmaduke! posted:

I keep thinking the interviewer is Val Venis

Well Andre you remind me of myself. Ya know.......we're both BIG where it counts heh heh heh

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

OldTennisCourt posted:

Well Andre you remind me of myself. Ya know.......we're both BIG where it counts heh heh heh

Greg, you might be 'The Hammer' but when it comes to the ladies I really know how to POUND it in and NAIL that hard heh heh heh

OldTennisCourt
Sep 11, 2011

by VideoGames
Jake, you and I have one thing in common


YA KNOW

we both wait for the right time....to unLEASH the thick python

heh heh heh

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Zombie Mean Gene is now with the Big Bossman and his team for the main event. Slick says that they've come up with “a system of elimination that will not be denied”. Ted DiBiase tells Herc' that he will realise he is DiBiase's slave and that he's got the caviar and champagne ready. Bossman is going to leave Hulk laying like a dog. There's nothing particularly memorable about this promo. And as much as I wanted to see some new feuds in the main event I wasn't exactly thinking about Bossman and... Akeem.

Oh god, it's time to talk about Akeem.

Akeem, Big Bossman, Ted DiBiase, Haku and the Red Rooster vs. The Mega Powers, Hercules, Hillbilly Jim and Koko B. Ware

Right, let's get into this.

MOST OFFENSIVE COMMENT EVERYTHING

I know I'm not going to say anything that hasn't been said before so if you just want to read funnies about wrestling then skip to the next paragraph. Still here? Ok. Cultural appropriation is a complicated and highly charged issue. It's natural that over time the cultural practices of particular ethnic groups will spread due to increasing globalisation. And this is a hugely positive thing. Shared culture that crosses ethnic divides helps to reduce prejudice and conflict. However, what's not a hugely positive thing is glorifying stereotypes and simplifying a complex group of people in a single cartoon representation. This is exactly what Akeem does. The way he dresses, the way he acts is all designed to make a mockery of an entire continent of people. Not only is it offensive to everybody living in Africa, it's offensive to every fan watching because we're expected to just accept this. It's even offensive to Akeem himself because he's essentially being forced to be a giant racist on national television. This is what he will be remembered for, it's what he has been remembered for for the last thirty years. It's awful goddam trash and whoever suggested it should have been fired. Into the sun.


Somehow he looks even whiter than he did before

In other, less terrible news we've found the person who inherited Harley Race's crown and it's... Haku? This has got to be one of the most bizarre wrestling kings I've ever seen. For starters, he's a tag team guy, not a singles guy. Unless Tama's done now but I'm assuming he's just on sabbatical for this show. It's such a weird combination, it doesn't fit Haku's character at all. I suppose it does show the WWF is all for equal opportunity cultural appropriation but two wrongs don't make a right. Meanwhile we also have a sighting of the Red Rooster, a.k.a. Terry Taylor. Isn't he the guy who brought WCW or something? I don't know, I could be very confused here.

The faces come out and Savage is all decked out in Mega Powers gear just like at Summerslam. However, Hulk is out in his standard red and yellow without any promotion of his tag team. That's not cool! Way to disrespect your best buddy, Hulkster! Savage starts things off with DiBiase but then quickly tags in Herc', leading DiBiase to bail out straight away with a tag. Jim ends up in the ring and Jesse wonders how often he washes his dungarees. I'm fairly confident that the answer is 'not often enough'.

Rooster comes in and its our first chance to see what he's got and... he immediately gets a big boot from Hulk and the Flying Elbow from Savage and he's out. Welp. On the outside Slick starts arguing with Heenan for choosing such a poor pick for their lineup. Haha, nice touch. Herc' comes in and hits Haku with a series of strong elbow drops. Herc' is always such a joy.


Savage dropped the elbow so hard the sun exploded

Akeem takes out Jim and flattens him with a splash, which is enough to put Jim out of the game. Gino refers to Akeem as 'the 747' which is the same nickname he had when he was the One Man Gang. So this is the bit that confuses me. Are Akeem and the Gang meant to be the same guy? And if they are, how the hell did the sell that gimmick change? If someone could educate me on Akeem's debut that would be really appreciated.

The faces take it in turns to have a go at Akeem but none of them can get him off his feet. It's like he's one of those inflatable punching bags. Akeem throws Koko into the ringpost then Bossman comes in and nails him with the Bossman Slam, taking him out of the match. Hulk replaces in and goes at it with Bossman to huge pops from the crowd. Hulk connects with a big boot and a scoop slam but then Bossman returns fire with a spinebuster! Snazzy!


Arn would be proud of that one

DiBiase tags in and starts putting in a beating on Hulk. And this is going to be one of the weirdest things I've ever commented on in these reviews but DiBiase's fist drops have beautiful form. He keeps his body so still while he drops, it looks really pretty. Anyway, DiBiase's having his way but Hulk hulks up and reaches his corner to tag in... oh boy, it's Herc'! DiBiase full on shits his pants and tries to escape but Herc' just straight up batters him. And here it is, here's where DiBiase the character and DiBiase the wrestler reach the intersect I've been waiting for because watching Herc' cream the poo poo out of DiBiase is a joy. But then all too quickly Virgil tries to interfere so Herc' goes over to stop him and that's enough for DiBiase to pull off a rollup. Herc' is out of the match and DiBiase is a dickbag all over again. Herc' takes out some frustration by beating up Virgil on the outside while DiBiase watches on in glee. So of course, Savage runs into the ring and and gets in a rollup of his own. DiBiase is gone! Haha, gently caress you Ted. Live by the distraction, die by the distraction.

This brings us down to the Mega Powers on one side and Akeem, Bossman and Haku on the other. Haku takes over and nails Hulk with the Reverse Thrust Kick, allowing the heels to take control. Bossman gets in the Bossman Slam as well but then he goes up top and whiffs a really bad attempt at a body splash. It's not quite as bad as Akeem's attempt at Survivor Series '87 but it's still pitiful. The heels keep up the beatdown until Hulk gets the hot tag to Savage. He does a valiant job fighting off all the heels until Slick trips him up.

With Savage laid out in the ring Slick grabs Elizabeth and starts dragging her to the back and this is where poo poo starts to get pretty intense. We've never seen anyone go after Elizabeth the way Slick is here and Savage is in no state to help her either. But when we need a hero there's one man on which we can rely and he's going to save all the drowning Hulkamaniacs. Hulk runs after Slick and pulls Elizabeth away but Akeem and Bossman ambush him from behind and knock him down. Bossman pulls out his handcuffs and cuffs Hulk to the bottom rope. Jesus! This all getting very full-on here.


This is genuinely unsettling

So it turns out Bossman was the legal man and he ends up getting counted out during the assault on Hulk but at this point I don't think the heels mind. Bossman sure doesn't because he just pulls out his nightstick and goes right back to beating on Hulk. Come on guys, this is just excessive now. Haku takes his turn to beat on Hulk while Bossman goes back in the ring and gets some shots in on Savage as well. Of course Bossman's not in this match any more so that's illegal and Akeem gets DQd, not that it makes much difference at this point.

We're now left with Haku against an incapacitated Savage and an incarcerated Hulk. Slick starts taunting Hulk by waving the key in front of his face, what an absolute dick. Haku goes for another Reverse Thrust Kick but Hulk dodges and Haku takes out Slick! Hulk manages to knock Heenan down as well and this gives Elizabeth the opportunity to rifle through Slick's pockets. In my favourite Jesse moment yet he claims that she's going after Slick's wallet. That's such a great line. She's not though, she's getting the key to Hulk's cuffs and once she finds she sets him free.

Meanwhile in the ring Haku nails a body splash on Savage for a massive two count. But that's not the end. It can't be the end. Savage manages to reach Hulk for the tag and then we get the old big boot, scoop slam, Leg Drop combo for the three count. The Mega Powers win, the heels are defeated, I feel like I need a cigarette. With the match wrapped up, Hulk starts posing while Elizabeth goes to check on Savage but then Hulk grabs her and lifts her up in a big hug. Savage does not look impressed by this turn of events. Be careful, Hulk. This is starting to become a habit.


Not a happy camper

This match was so much better than it had any right to be. When I first saw the heels were being led by Akeem and Bossman I figured it would be abysmal but they did such a superb job with the booking to work around people inefficiencies and tell a cracker of a story. From the moment Herc' tagged in against DiBiase all the way through to the end I was gripped. This has got to be the most invested and most supportive I've been for Hulk in any of these shows, they really managed to get me on his side for this one. I also really liked that this was the first PPV not to close out on general celebrations. It really sells that the story in wrestling is never over, there's always more twists and turns round the corner.

And there we have it, Survivor Series 1988 is done and dusted. While the level of wrestling didn't quite stack up to last year's show the storytelling throughout was top notch. Each one of the four matches set out with a clear goal in mind and executed it well. Even when they were using wrestlers I can't stand like Hulk and Demolition, the story itself was good enough to maintain my interest. I'm really excited to see how things develop between here and WM5 because there's a couple of obvious big money matches that are clearly going to be there (Hulk/Savage, Demolition/Powers) but besides that things could go in all sorts of directions and all that possibility is very exciting. Five Kanes!

/10

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

You really need to find the clip of the Big Boss Man and Akeem on the Arsenio Hall Show, it's something else.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Rarity posted:

Akeem takes out Jim and flattens him with a splash, which is enough to put Jim out of the game. Gino refers to Akeem as 'the 747' which is the same nickname he had when he was the One Man Gang. So this is the bit that confuses me. Are Akeem and the Gang meant to be the same guy? And if they are, how the hell did the sell that gimmick change? If someone could educate me on Akeem's debut that would be really appreciated.

Oh my God, Rarity. Oh my God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR2ExOi4RHo

I remember watching this as a kid and being utterly flummoxed by what I was seeing.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Number of Times Rarity Considered Abandoning This Project: 4

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Also, remember, Akeem was a jab at Dusty Rhodes, who was in the NWA at the time

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

I'll just say again to watch the February 3rd 1989 episode of Saturday Night's Main Event in context when it rolls around

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Akeem owned.

I used to do his dance when he came out, in chubby solidarity.

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
As a palate cleanser, enjoy this match between 4 underutilized workers during the time period:

The Blue Blazer & Koko B Ware vs. The Conquistadors:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VwN0KwIh-k

A lot of problems with this period is that so many important matches and the best work of the period is not done on PPV, but on TV specials like Saturday Night's Main Event, or weekly TV like WWF Superstars or Prime Time Wrestling.
Without watching these, it leaves some gaps in history. As was mentioned, it can also skewer opinion as lot of wrestlers' best work is on TV, like Jake and Koko.

As another treat, in honor the British Bulldogs' departure from the WWF, enjoy this 6 man:

Ultimate Warrior and the Bulldogs versus Demolition and Mr. Fuji:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oyDZ_czfPo

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Rarity posted:

Number of Times Rarity Considered Abandoning This Project: 4

747 was the name of Akeem's big splash, er One Man Gang's. Akeem's was Air Africa.

KungFu Grip fucked around with this message at 08:53 on Oct 1, 2017

CoolCat
Jun 29, 2015

Randaconda posted:

Hell, Street Fighter has a character who is basically Andre.

Hugo?

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Yeah

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?
As a child, I remember seeing the old VHS boxes and wondering what the deal was with that dude dressed in bright yellow. I think I was better off not knowing.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Epic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRpy1BwKcwU

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"


Arsenio was always good at selling wrestlers gimmicks with a bit of a wink. Not just wrestlers, he had Jason Voorhees on his show.

His Macho Man interview was pretty great.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

Open Marriage Night posted:

Arsenio was always good at selling wrestlers gimmicks with a bit of a wink. Not just wrestlers, he had Jason Voorhees on his show.

His Macho Man interview was pretty great.

I really liked his ultimate warrior interview too. I watched Arsenio quite a bit in the early-mid 90's but I never knew how many times he had wrestlers on the show.

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Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Royal Rumble 1989: Big John Studd's Big Day Out

What I Think I Know:

  • Ok, I don't know this for a fact but I'm making a safe assumption that Hulk's winning the Rumble. There's really no other decent choice



It's January 1989, little Rarity is riding to preschool on the back of her mum's bike and across the Atlantic it's time for our annual celebration of men hugging each other near to the ring ropes with Royal Rumble 1989! Before we get down to business we get a little intro sequence narrated by Vince McMahon naming all the men that will be competing in tonight's main event. I'm not going to name them all now but we've got Shawn Michaels in the mix so I know who I'll be rooting for.


It's not like there's any other good choices

So we are live from The Summit in Houston, TX which has got to be the weirdest name for a venue I've ever encountered. As always we are joined on commentary by the combination of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura. Time may be marching on but these men remain as committed to play-by-play and horrendous fashion respectively as they ever were.



I suppose this isn't that bad by Jesse's standards, really. It would only take a couple of minor changes for him to just look like someone's dad. But even when he tries to dress down with a simple black T he still manages to ruin it by plonking a great big shark on the front. The thing about that is it's not even the ostentatiously bizarre that Jesse is known for, it's just plain bizarre. Oh, and the black leather jacket has floral pink trim. Were you really expecting anything less?


And I've not even mentioned how wispy his moustache has got

2 out of 3 Falls Match
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers and Dino Bravo w/ Jimmy Hart and Frenchie Martin vs. The Hart Foundation and Hacksaw Jim Duggan


Oh boy oh boy oh boy, they finally did it! The Rougeaus have moved to America! And it only took them six months! Surely now they have emigrated they will be welcomed with open arms by the traditionally friendly American people. They'll be teaming up with Dino tonight and even though that idea doesn't excite me at least that's a team that makes sense. The Harts are out next with some really cool music that sounds nothing like I expected. I always figured their music would be just like Bret's but it's really not. Rounding out this team is Hacksaw, who kills all my interest in this match like a protective father on prom night. At least the Rougeaus against the Harts will be good I suppose.

The match kicks off with the Rougeaus taking it to the Harts and its barely kicked into gear before the crowd starts “USA” chants. That's right, you stick it to those evil Canadians as they beat up... some other Canadians. On commentary Gino and Jesse are having an argument about foreign objects and Jesse brings up the fact that Gino used to come out to the ring with bananas. I'm not sure if that's funny or offensive, I'm leaning towards funny. Anvil and Dino exchange a set of stiff-rear end shoulder blocks with neither man being knocked off his feet. Anvil's got a massive grin on his face, he clearly loves going up against a guy who'll hit back as hard as he gets hit. Hacksaw tags in and goes right after the Rougeaus. Which is only natural when you're a patriot like Hacksaw. It's not like the Rougeaus loved America so much they moved there or anything.

Look, there's no way of beating around the bush here. The psychology of this match is all screwed up and it completely undercuts any hope the match has of getting going. There's just way too many conflicts of interest. Why does Hacksaw hate a pair of guys who've been waving the flag for months and who've had a clear love of America for months? Why would the Harts team up with Hacksaw to go up against their own countrymen? Why are the Harts fine with being treated like Americans by the crowd? It's so clear that faces and heels have just been mashed together with no care for the deeper characters involved. Hacksaw and Dino should have just been cut from this match, it would make things so much better.


I CRUSH PATRIOTISM UP LIKE CEREAL, AIN'T NO COUNTRY BIG ENOUGH FOR ME!

Ok, from here on out I'm going to leave that aside and focus on the wrestling. Bret gets a bunch of near falls on Raymond with some pinning combinations. The match breaks down and Anvil stacks all three men in the corner for a series of shoulder barges. Once things have calmed down Jacques sends Bret into the ropes and Raymond pulls them down so he stumbles to the outside. This is enough of an advantage for Dino to hit the Side Suplex and the Rougeaus to follow with the Flying Facehump to take the first fall.

As the second fall starts out the heels dominate Bret with a number of big, heavy moves. Dino slaps on a bear hug that Bret struggles to break free from, leading the crowd to offer their support with further “USA” chants. Jesse points out that the crowd are chanting that for a guy from Calgary and when one of your own commentators is making GBS threads all over your match psychology? Yeah, it's bad.

The Rougeaus keep up the pressure with more submissions that really drag down the tempo of the match. Meanwhile at ringside Jimmy's megaphone sounds amped up because his voice is coming in extra loud today. I must confess that over the course of these shows I've got used to tuning Jimmy out as background noise but this reminded me how much of an annoying little poo poo he is. Jacques goes for a monkey flip but Bret reverses it into a Manhattan drop, causing Jacques to have a little seizure.


This isn't the time to give him a head massage!

Bret crawls over to his corner and reaches Hacksaw for a slow, sloppy hot tag. Imagine watching Titanic except when the boat hits the iceberg it just kinda gets stuck. That's this hot tag. Still it's enough to get the heels laid out so it just about does the job. Anvil comes in with a slingshot splash to Raymond. Bret follows close behind with a slingshot something. It might be an elbow drop. I'm not sure, he was kind of all over the place with that one. Whatever it was he hit it's good enough because Hacksaw covers Raymond to tie the score. You know what, in all these shows not once have I seen Hacksaw win from his finishing move. Does he even have a finishing move? Right now it seems that his finisher is sticking his thumb up and screaming about prostitutes.

In the latest example of Hacksaw having more guts than sense (which is not exactly hard for him) he tries to put in a beating on the heels in their corner but instead he ends up being overwhelmed by the numbers and starts getting triple teamed. At one point Hacksaw winds up resting head over the middle rope so Jacques pretty much just teabags his neck. Dino connects with a Manhattan drop but Bret got a tag in and takes Dino out. He goes up to the second rope only for Raymond to push him off, leading Anvil to interfere. While the ref is trying to sort out this clusterfuck, Hacksaw grabs his 2x4 and whacks Dino with it right in the maple leaves. Bret gets the pin and the faces are victorious. Jesse is furious about the result but Gino is absolutely fine, even though we all know he'd be kicking off if this had happened to Hulk. You can't have your face announcers act like this. It makes Gino looks like a hypocrite and completely undermines his credibility.


Anvil is the World's Happiest Man


MY SMILES LAST FOR WEEKS, IT AIN'T A COMPETITION!

The match itself was underwhelming. I've already covered how messed up the psychology of it all was so I'm going to just leave that be now but even taking that out of the equation and just looking at the ringwork it wasn't as good as I was hoping. The finish also went a long way to killing the whole endeavour for me. I don't want to see faces cheating to win unless it's using a heel's own plans against them as part of a big comeuppance. Especially not when that face is Hacksaw, my #1 least favourite guy on the roster.

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