Mycroft Holmes posted:

Paul Meth'Dealer

Bertrand Hustle posted:

teach me the weirdo way of combat

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

the Fremeth

Code Jockey posted:

Ziv Zulander posted:

I can tell this isn't a loss edit because all four panels contain a tragedy

Mycroft Holmes posted:

Paul Meth'Dealer

Absurd Alhazred posted:

You know, I've had a lot of lovely sexual experiences, but at least my first one was really good.

Push El Burrito posted:

Geese only attack you because secretly they have a crush on you.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

They're very gandere.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Jukebox Hero posted:

As a guy who likes Devil May Cry, DmC can gently caress off with its stupid, punk-rear end edgy Dante. He chugs whiskey from a bottle and lives in a trailer, he's a piece of poo poo. Classic Dante didn't have 'misery' ingrained into his character design, he liked pizza and kills demons in goofy ways

NeoDante is just this whiny gently caress who doesn't even have powers when you're not controlling him(seriously, in most cutscenes in 'the real world' NeoDante is functionally a normal human, but in the Silent Hill alternate dimension he's stronger than anything else, completely missing the "skilled fighter who is weaker than his enemies" angle for this weird superhero poo poo) and mostly stands around or gets told what to do by his brother or one of the few women the story doesn't kill. She gets beaten up a lot and there's a few rapey moments with her and villains, but she gets off easier than the pregnant woman Dante's brother shoots in the stomach with a rifle, then waits until she starts crying before he shoots her in the head. Our heroes!

The loving mop scene is just such a direct "gently caress you" after the months of the designer posting pictures of Classic Dante edited into Fight Club screenshots to prove how "stupid" the character we thought was cool for the last four games looked. If you haven't seen the loving drama they kicked up when people said their edgy teen punk bitch kid was an edgy teen punk bitch, look it up, it was idiotic how they tried to convince people "No he's totally cool you loving nerds!"

And after all that they just happen to include a joke about how New Dante has COOL HAIR, not like that OLD BITCH, OLD DANTE and yes that's what its about don't be obtuse.



Hellblade is definitely looking to be a step in the right direction but that dev was AMAZINGLY unprofessional. They would write things for Enslaved that made the editors eyes bug out; The peaceful yet scrappy hero, in the original script, at one point kicks a man off a cliff to his death for no reason other than, I quote, "to show he's tough." They're growing up, but DmC was absolutely made by a team of people who would take a cheap shot at the things 'bad' DMC fans liked and were criticizing them over.


I'll take the garlic steak burger and a milkshake, can I get the fries with no salt? My electrolytes are hosed.

Jukebox Hero posted:

He wakes up and starts drinking whiskey straight from the bottle in a dirty, lovely trailer on the docks before a big generic demon attacks and they do a few scenes referencing DMC3. The intro emphasizes that he lives in squalor and has no taste.

DMC3: RealDante almost dances out of the shower in his private residence/business office, answering the phone with a casual yet practiced response: Dante is an expert, he cares about his personal hygiene, and the multiple conscious ways he's a buffoon(when he breaks the jukebox, his love of pizza) demonstrate that his cool posturing and taunting is tempered by actual flaws that are played for both comedy and drama, instead of nondescript angst. And they actually did it on purpose; New Dante chugging whiskey from the bottle is supposed to be cool and not something a seventeen year old at a party does.

I say all this as somebody who thinks that the weapons in DmC were a taint hair away from being cool, those razor boomerangs were awesome even if they were pretty much useless; Across three playthroughs of DmC I never felt like anything but the demon axe you get first was really worth using, especially when you get its multiple ranged attacks that still do full damage....

Jukebox Hero posted:

"Dante is now a smelly carny with a drinking problem who's definition of fun is abortion jokes and saying 'gently caress' a lot."

Have we forgotten "flock off, feather-face?"

I was referencing DMC3 because we were talking about Young Dante, in both old and new flavors, but we can totally contrast smelly hobo Dante's wake up call with the intro of DMC1, a somewhat roughly translated ps2 game from a console generation before DmC, where Dante shrugs off massive amounts of injury including a series trademark impalement, demonstrates huge magical and physical strength, and, again, treats the subject at hand with appropriate levels of seriousness. Dante isn't always a cocky poo poo, he just usually is.

New Dante is like half of the problems in DmC and I have so many words about how they hosed it up you will not even believe it.

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

Guy Mann posted:

Mycroft Holmes posted:

idgi

Mycroft Holmes posted:

idgi

Improbable Lobster posted:

The picture is of a save point from the role playing video game Tales of Game's Presents Chef Boyardee's Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa. The save points in Tales of Game's Presents Chef Boyardee's Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa recite quotes from angry posts about video games on the internet.

EmmyOk posted:

I feel like I need an almanac and ether to understand this thread sometimes

Guy Mann posted:

All of the save point rants in BSUaJG are real forum posts too.

funmanguy posted:

Meh, I don't like sports games.

funmanguy posted:

Meh, I don't like sports games.

Barudak posted:

The free cookies at the office are the commons and Im the tragedy.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I will play Barkley when I am good and drat ready. The more people yell at me to play it, the further it gets pushed down the To Play list. I will get to it when I am ready to, and not before.

Guy Mann posted:

All of the save point rants in BSUaJG are real forum posts too.

Dabir posted:

nah they're all made up except the last one that complains about the other save points

WrenP-Complete posted:

I think maybe absinthe? Hard to know sometimes.

Inescapable Duck posted:

I kind of want to play a game where the hero is carnie trailer trash, though then again we already had No More Heroes, where the protagonist is almost certainly a goon.

mind the walrus posted:

/r/relationships: You know what's easier to find than a two bedroom apartment for a sex offender?

Pvt.Scott posted:

An E/N success story?