|
|
little munchkin posted:dont worry too hard if you get asked "what part of a boat would be the boat's dick if they had sex?". Theres no one correct answer, your interviewer is just trying to see how your mind works and how you approach solving problems me: what makes you think that boats wouldnt make love? *hiring manager leaps out of chair* when can you start? ---------------- |
#
?
Sep 29, 2017 23:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 08:18 |
|
|
|
alnilam posted:an actual henway that is a road along which thousands of hens run wow lol
|
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2017 15:51
|
|
|
alnilam posted:an actual henway that is a road along which thousands of hens run There's a stop light. The top light is yellow and says "cluck" the bottom light is orange and also says "cluck." |
|
#
?
Sep 30, 2017 17:17
|
|
|
|
i am going to run for president as a member of the "put hundreds of dogs onto a rocketship and have them explore space together" party, which is exactly what it sounds like
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2017 15:44
|
|
|
Since my last thread is going down in spectacular flames, I thought I would take my next idea to the jokes workshop first. I've been reading my favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut (which is saying a lot because I don't read nearly as much as I should) and I thought it would be funny to write in the style of Breakfast of Champions about the daily minutia of our lives. Even without a real point, it still sounds just as absurd/mildly depressing. "Starman loved to speak to people through something called the internet. The internet was a thing intended to be a way for people to share information over vast distances. It was invented by the military in 1969 and is now mainly used to distribute pornography. Starman spent most of his time speaking to people through a website called Something Awful. A website often stored information or dirty pictures. This website had both. Their logo was a picture of a pineapple grenade. A pineapple grenade is special kind of explosive used to tear people's flesh off. It looked like this:  Talking to the people who frequented Something Awful gave Starman a sense of community, even though he didn't really know any of them. Something Awful's slogan was this: quote:The Internet Makes You Stupid Starman told his community that he was reading Kurt Vonnegut. He adored Kurt's books. Starman felt as though he could identify with the writer's blunt and sarcastic attitude. He felt a sort of kinship with Kurt, even though he didn't really know him. It gave Starman a sense of satisfaction to read his books. It made him look smarter, he thought. The books did make him smarter too. That wasn't why he was reading them though. It was so he would look as though he was smarter."
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2017 16:00
|
|
|
little munchkin posted:i am going to run for president as a member of the "put hundreds of dogs onto a rocketship and have them explore space together" party, which is exactly what it sounds like "Today we surpass the petty divisions of history and plant the seed of the future. My fellow Americans, we cannot solve the world's problems, we cannot heal every division nor can we beat the swords into ploughshares. I say, with no trace of sentimentality or illusion, that we have nonetheless rendered a great service to humanity and more than humanity, the universe itself. Mankind ends here on this dying Earth, but man's best friend shall live forever among the stars. The Rover Eternal mission is the culmination of human history, the great cathedral at the end of all our labors. I present to you the chief dogonaut Astrodor Rex." MEANWHILE IN UNIVERSE 136-DJ WHERE THE SOVIET UNION WON THE COLD WAR "Comrades, members of Politburo Prime, and my fellow delegates of the national soviets, today our world calls for one last great sacrifice for the final triumph of a classless society. We prepare a grand experiment in renewal, the birth of a new society utterly free of the exploitative and destructive history of Earth, a society committed to the humanistic ideal from its very moment of creation. I present to you the Cosmocats and their Chief Explorer, Chairman Meow." |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2017 16:03
|
|
|
|
Starman Super DX posted:Since my last thread is going down in spectacular flames, I thought I would take my next idea to the jokes workshop first. I like it and i like Vonnegut a lot and i like the idea of him writing cynical words about my everyday life so since he's dead good on you for taking matters into your own hands |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2017 16:08
|
|
|
little munchkin posted:i am going to run for president as a member of the "put hundreds of dogs onto a rocketship and have them explore space together" party, which is exactly what it sounds like bad idea, space is a vacuum and dogs are always afraid of those |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2017 17:00
|
|
|
|
canyoneer posted:bad idea, space is a vacuum and dogs are always afraid of those lol |
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2017 18:06
|
|
|
|
canyoneer posted:bad idea, space is a vacuum and dogs are always afraid of those 
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2017 00:23
|
|
|
alnilam posted:I like it and i like Vonnegut a lot and i like the idea of him writing cynical words about my everyday life so since he's dead good on you for taking matters into your own hands It's like maybe I could write them for people based on some things they did during the day
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2017 05:39
|
|
| A bowjob from Medusa would leave you rock hard | |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2017 05:47
|
|
|
|
an extremely pensive j/o sesh set to Gymnopédie #1 |
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2017 12:16
|
|
|
lewd daguerreotypes and saucy handbills |
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2017 14:12
|
|
|
An alien fungus invades the earth replacing real people with mindless clones. BYOB is entirely spared because our good cheer and massive THC content lets us blend right in. |
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2017 14:16
|
|
|
|
good job to to everyone who made a post about how their garden looked bad but on purpose oops, wrong thread little munchkin fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Oct 4, 2017 ---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2017 15:16
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:An alien fungus invades the earth replacing real people with mindless clones. BYOB is entirely spared because our good cheer and massive THC content lets us blend right in. Good friends, good weed, good riddance invasive fungus amongus! Bonus: what subjugates and enslaves the rest of humanity makes 'Yobbers trip awesomeballz because of the above little munchkin posted:good job to to everyone who made a post about how their garden looked bad but on purpose every thread is the right thread to congratulate 'Yobbers! |
|
#
?
Oct 4, 2017 21:33
|
|
|
An orthodox satanist trying to cope with their rebellious, goodie-two-shoes kids. |
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 14:39
|
|
|
|
cheers but the characters are all lovecraftian horrors *an unholy abomination shambles into the bar* [everybody]: CTHUUUULHU! [nyarlathotep the crawling chaos, polishing a glass]: what would ya say to a beer? [cthulhu]: what's a nice beer like you doing in a place like this? e: where everybody knows your name but dares not speak it aloud courtesy splat and jolo |
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 16:53
|
|
Manifisto posted:cheers but the characters are all lovecraftian horrors |
|
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 17:16
|
|
WindmillSlayer posted:im gay This is true for me idk if it's a joke but a queer thread would be cool...... |
|
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 17:33
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:cheers but the characters are all lovecraftian horrors A panicked man walks up to the bar, quickly scribbles a note, then hands it to the bartender. Note reads: I have no mouth and I must drink |
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 18:28
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:lewd daguerreotypes and saucy handbills theres a twitter account titled WHORES OF YORE which is run by a legit historian/sex researcher and it is chockablock full of ancient smut. like good goddamn the amount of parisian whores who prefer to get rum-rogered wearing their striped socks. . . . indecent. crimes |
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 20:30
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:e: where everybody knows your name but dares not speak it aloud lol |
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 20:37
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:where everybody knows your name but dares not speak it aloud holy mackerel |
|
#
?
Oct 5, 2017 21:08
|
|
| time travel novel abt my future self coming back in time to save my life.... by stopping me from writing this lovely, embarrassing book | |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 17:42
|
|
~*
~*
free Trapt CD posted:time travel novel abt my future self coming back in time to save my life.... by stopping me from writing this lovely, embarrassing book ... The movie! |
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 17:49
|
|
|
"don't do it", said the dying precog as i cradled her in my comforting yet rugged arms. then i said, "don't do WHAT?", because of the blood, which was a big clue that she was dying fast. she grabbed my head and drew me in close to whisper, into my ear: "the critics will all say your dialogue is wooden like an uncomfortable chair at a cheap restaurant... you'll be nominated for a participation award at the nebulas... your grandparents will read it and discover your detailed opinions about group sex"... and then, confused, i sadly watched the life drain out of her eyes, because she died, then. |
|
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 17:53
|
|
|
free Trapt CD posted:"don't do it", said the dying precog as i cradled her in my comforting yet rugged arms. then i said, "don't do WHAT?", because of the blood, which was a big clue that she was dying fast. Lol |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 18:44
|
|
|
|
photoshop thread where everyone's avatar is super buff I can't remember if this has been done before but I can't be bothered to look it up |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 19:48
|
|
|
Magikarp, a Man About Town. The ongoing adventures of the least useful pokemon and his struggle to find a place in high society. (Imagine the magikarp wearing a tuxedo and one of those long white scarves rich assholes wear to opera). |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 20:07
|
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Magikarp, a Man About Town. The ongoing adventures of the least useful pokemon and his struggle to find a place in high society. (Imagine the magikarp wearing a tuxedo and one of those long white scarves rich assholes wear to opera). people keep encouragingly telling him maybe someday he'll become a gyarados and he gets really offended like WHAT WHAT SO MAGIKARPS AREN'T WORTH ANYTHING |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 20:10
|
|
|
alnilam posted:people keep encouragingly telling him maybe someday he'll become a gyarados and he gets really offended like WHAT WHAT SO MAGIKARPS AREN'T WORTH ANYTHING The stage lights dim, a spot light falls on Mr. Magikarp, "They laughed at me, Martha, laughed me right out of the club just like they laughed me out of every other club in this drat city. There's not a man one in this whole rotten town ready to accept me. I'll make a splash, Martha, and then they'll see." Martha says, "Magikarp, you can't keep doing this to yourself, to me, to us. Sweetie, can't you just evolve?" Magikarp turns sharply to face Martha and is silent for a moment, then he speaks coldly, "And there it is. You too...laughing at me just like all the rest. Evolve? No, I do not need to evolve; it's the rest of you who are savage." ShinyBirdTeeth fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Oct 6, 2017 |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 20:23
|
|
|
A ghost that can only be seen if it's wearing a sheet on it's head
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 20:46
|
|
|
|
Splatmaster posted:A ghost that can only be seen if it's wearing a sheet on it's head I believe this happened in Beetlejuice |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 20:52
|
|
|
alnilam posted:I believe this happened in Beetlejuice a sheet that can only be seen if a ghost is wearing it on it's head while watching Beetlejuice https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 21:03
|
|
|
Third-tier cowboys of the American West: * Sixteen Shots Joe * The Frisco Young Adult * Butch Cassidy and the Cannes Kid |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 21:05
|
|
|
|
Splatmaster posted:a sheet that can only be seen if a ghost is wearing it on it's head while watching Beetlejuice ^^ good argument against an indecent exposure charge |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 21:06
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Third-tier cowboys of the American West: This is thread-worthy, please let the memory of other third-tier cowboys of the American West live again? |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 21:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 08:18 |
|
|
Splatmaster posted:This is thread-worthy, please let the memory of other third-tier cowboys of the American West live again? I'm still nursing along my revenge thread, so if you wanna take this be my guest. |
|
#
?
Oct 6, 2017 21:09
|
|