see subject, i cant figure it the gently caress out
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:40 |
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# ? Apr 10, 2024 22:34 |
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Very carefully
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:41 |
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crack it against a flat surface, don't crack it on the edge of the bowl
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:43 |
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Get your minder to do it, OP
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:43 |
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I'm onto your kitchen-euphemism murdering spree, OP
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:43 |
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I only crack metaphorical eggs of wisdom
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:43 |
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Take a package of eggs, throw it on the floor and eat it off the floor like a animal, you piece of poo poo
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:43 |
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EorayMel posted:I'm onto your kitchen-euphemism murdering spree, OP is that a dick
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:44 |
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Raise your hand with the egg Raise your other hand Violently hurl the egg at the edge of a pan Use your other hand to catch the shell fragments during the "bullet time" phase
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:45 |
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just loving throw the whole egg into whatever and eat it like a man, crunch and all
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:45 |
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Put the pan about 3meters behind you, put the gun in your mouth and give it a shot. Take a pick and then we can make more detailed responses about how to get your egg in the pan. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:47 |
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Just swallow the egg whole like a normal person jeez
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:48 |
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they sell pre-cracked eggs now OP
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:50 |
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OpaqueEcho posted:crack it against a flat surface, don't crack it on the edge of the bowl This, and do it one handed to feel like a pro regardless of how bad your cooking is.
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:51 |
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EL BROMANCE posted:This, and do it one handed to feel like a pro regardless of how bad your cooking is. Uh, use a concave surface So its splits open, like the rounded inside sides of a bowl
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:56 |
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myDad posted:Very carefully unironically this
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 16:56 |
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Well first you crack it like you normally would. Then you get a small spoon. You pour out the contents of the baggie, put some water on it, then put a lighter on underneath the spoon. Once it's sufficiently liquid, take your syringe and draw some of it. Don't worry if your needle isn't fresh as long as it was capped. Then get your buddy to find your vein and put the tourniquet on--you can do it on your own but it's not recommended--then stick it in at about a 45 degree angle. You need to get into the vein and if you go straight-in you'll just hit muscle. Push in slowly, you'll blow or roll the vein if you do it too fast. This is where a buddy comes in handy because they'll take off the tourniquet and take the needle out if you bliss out quickly. Once you're done, nod off for a while. When you wake up, use part of the old shell of the egg to scoop out whatever bits of shell got into the yolk. Then cook it up and eat it and enjoy the salmonella poisoning you sick loving junkie. By the way the power company called again, you've got 2 days before they shut it off and CPS is breathing down your loving neck again. Also Dave said he'd be out of town this weekend and he's the only guy you know isn't cutting his poo poo with fentanyl so you'd better get on that today.
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:01 |
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myDad posted:Very carefully
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:03 |
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one-handed, usually
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:06 |
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Twat McTwatterson posted:see subject, i cant figure it the gently caress out By learning simple motor skills, usually at a young age.
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:08 |
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Added shells make it more romantic to your mother OP.
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:10 |
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:Get your minder to do it, OP
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:13 |
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Two words, OP: sling blade
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:15 |
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Use gravity, op
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:27 |
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You can't make an omelette without first cracking some eggs IMO.
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# ? Oct 12, 2017 17:31 |
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crack it once instead of hammering it
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 07:31 |
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uh how are you going to make an egg white omelette without the shells dumbass
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 07:32 |
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use the ovaries
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 07:35 |
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help gbs how do i drink a soda without dribbling it on my shirt
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 07:43 |
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Crack the egg against somethin with a thin, relativly sharp edge. For example a steel spatula.
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:00 |
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To be extra-sure you don't wind up with eggshells in whatever you're putting an egg in, you can break an egg into a bowl first. Then when your clumsy oafish hands shatter the eggshell resulting in dozens of pieces falling into the bowl, you can fish them out before pouring the egg into your frying pan or whatever.
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:06 |
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I saw some thing that said if you dip your finger in water it makes the egg stick to it so you don't have to fish around in the yolk. Don't have a loving clue if it works since I just saw it but hth
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:10 |
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I learned egg techniques from a tibetan man
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:12 |
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:24 |
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try not being a retard op
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:28 |
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guy fiero is my spirit animal
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:29 |
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numberoneposter posted:guy fiero is my spirit animal my spirit animal is the yak in heat
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:30 |
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on a similar note i've been having issues with making sandwiches, how am i supposed to get the peanut butter out of this jar and onto the bread? i tried turnin it upside down and shaking it but it dont work. please help me im starving
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:33 |
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Pitdragon posted:on a similar note i've been having issues with making sandwiches, how am i supposed to get the peanut butter out of this jar and onto the bread? i tried turnin it upside down and shaking it but it dont work. upgrade to this bad boy: http://www.timescolonist.com/ask-eric-where-to-get-real-montreal-smoked-meat-1.75167
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:34 |
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# ? Apr 10, 2024 22:34 |
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It requires a sharp and swift strike to the edge of the pan or bowl. You must strke exactly 2cm deep into the egg.
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# ? Oct 13, 2017 08:54 |