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Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??
I think I would enjoy owning a bread maker...

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iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Just make no-knead.

Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??
Nah, seems like it is too much work, all that not kneading..

Hauki
May 11, 2010


Happy Hat posted:

Nah, seems like it is too much work, all that not kneading..

I, too, feel the need to knead

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


kneed for feed

Happy Hat
Aug 11, 2008

He just wants someone to shake his corks, is that too much to ask??
I think being a feeder and being a kneader is two very different things, which only on the surface has overlapping properties, and those mostly being coincidental.

You may knead to feed someone, but I would surmise that when you are a feeder, you would mostly base yourself on much more easily obtainable calories, to easier obtain the pure sexual pleasure you garner from the weight gain in your partner.

But your experiences may be different than mine. To each his own.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat
I just made bread for the first time in about 2 years. So satisfying. I'll taste it in the morning but it looks ok. Could have had better oven spring but not too bad given lack of practise.

It's no knead. My wife won't eat it so I am neither a kneader or a feeder.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

therattle posted:

I just made bread for the first time in about 2 years. So satisfying. I'll taste it in the morning but it looks ok. Could have had better oven spring but not too bad given lack of practise.

It's no knead. My wife won't eat it so I am neither a kneader or a feeder.

:catstare:

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

It hasn't cooled sufficiently and I am going to sleep now. Tired.

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Ugh, what's the secret to cooking a pork chop? Any piece of meat that requires me to pan fry/saute it always ends up tough, chewy, and lovely. I cannot get it down.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Pollyanna posted:

Ugh, what's the secret to cooking a pork chop? Any piece of meat that requires me to pan fry/saute it always ends up tough, chewy, and lovely. I cannot get it down.

brine it or cook it sous vide, or use a instant read thermometer and don't go over 140.

Edit: Don't go over 140F regardless of method.

Edit 2: Here's a pic of a chop I cooked a bit ago and went to like 137

Casu Marzu fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Nov 3, 2017

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


^ Am I totally failing to parse that picture correctly or is it super thick?

Casu Marzu posted:

brine it or cook it sous vide, or use a instant read thermometer and don't go over 140.

Edit: Don't go over 140F regardless of method.

I tried using a thermometer and not going over 140, but the problem is that by the time the center is 140 the outside is 190. :(

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Turn the heat down and/or get thicker chops?

As much as we rightly poo poo on the ~~~ducasse method~~~ of low and slow and basting constantly for beef, it's pretty legit for pork.


Another edit:

You can also do it like you pan sear steaks as long as your chop is thick enough. Sear off, toss in oven until to temp.

Edit again again: That chop was prob 3" thick

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Yeah, mine were maybe 1/2 inch thick. I think anything that thin tends to just get chewy real quick.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR
Take 'em off at 120, foil 'em for 10 minutes.

We got a real sort of dark side / light side argument kinda going on here with the bread machines. The Sith just say gently caress it and throws it all into an imposing evil box, Jedi go for a 48 hour refrigerator fridge ferment and slow rise. No Knead overnight is very Grey Jedi to me.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Pollyanna posted:

Yeah, mine were maybe 1/2 inch thick. I think anything that thin tends to just get chewy real quick.

With something that thin, I don't really bother trying to cook it in a traditional way. If I want a hunk of meat on the plate, I will just sear one side until browned and flip for like 15 seconds, just so it's cooked through on the second side. Or pound it out and fry for like a sandwich or tonkatsu.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Or use relatively thin chops (1/2 inch or so), sprinkle them with seasonall, and grill on a super hot grill until browned on both sides. They'll be perfect.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Suspect Bucket posted:

Take 'em off at 120, foil 'em for 10 minutes.

We got a real sort of dark side / light side argument kinda going on here with the bread machines. The Sith just say gently caress it and throws it all into an imposing evil box, Jedi go for a 48 hour refrigerator fridge ferment and slow rise. No Knead overnight is very Grey Jedi to me.

12 hours is perfectly sufficient unless it's very chilly.

mindphlux
Jan 8, 2004

by R. Guyovich

Pollyanna posted:

Ugh, what's the secret to cooking a pork chop? Any piece of meat that requires me to pan fry/saute it always ends up tough, chewy, and lovely. I cannot get it down.

1. make sure it's at least an inch and a half thick, bone in. inch can do, but it takes skill.
2. make sure it's a good looking cut - like it should have color and not be pale as poo poo, good fat content, etc.
3. brine it for at least 4-8 hours, pref overnight
3.5. preheat oven 350
4. pat it dry
5. bring it to room temperature, like you would a beef steak
6. pat it dry again
7. liberal, liberal salt. almost hard to use too much. pepper.
8. small amount of oil in a pan, riproaring hot, sear about 3 minutes a side. baste the bone so it starts to cook.
9. once you have a delicious looking sear, pop it in the oven. pull it when internal reads 138-142. pad of butter on top, tent with foil. you'll probably overcook it anyways, and with carryover heat it should hit around 145-150. rest for at least 10 minutes.

done! that's how I cook most fatty steak and lamb and anything else really too - I'm really hard on myself technique wise with most things cooking related, but I do the above almost every time with fattier cuts of meat, and I'm usually pretty happy with my results.

mindphlux fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Nov 3, 2017

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Oh yeah, maybe I shouldn't cook the meat straight out of the fridge, huh? :downs:

No grill, unfortunately. Closest I have is a grill pan. Gonna have to get good at the sear->oven workflow, cause I sure as hell can't handle it all in the cast-iron.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Pollyanna posted:

Oh yeah, maybe I shouldn't cook the meat straight out of the fridge, huh? :downs:

Doesn't really matter. Just make sure you pat the meat dry with paper towel just before searing.

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!

Pollyanna posted:

Oh yeah, maybe I shouldn't cook the meat straight out of the fridge, huh? :downs:

No grill, unfortunately. Closest I have is a grill pan. Gonna have to get good at the sear->oven workflow, cause I sure as hell can't handle it all in the cast-iron.

You absolutely should be doing that in the cast iron! That's one of the great things about cast iron, that you can take it from the stove to the oven and back. Just make sure your oven's preheated first and you're golden. And maybe let the pan sit for a minute after you've turned the burner off and before you've put it in the oven so the temperature can equalize and you're not risking burning the chop while it's in the relatively-low-temp oven and sitting in the still-super-hot pan.

Also I've definitely tried to let meat come up to room temp on the countertop and temped it throughout and the amount of time it takes for the center to come up in temp appreciably is such that the outside would definitely be in the danger zone for bacteria by that time. I don't think that's worth worrying about. Just make sure the outside is dry and well-seasoned and you're good.

mindphlux
Jan 8, 2004

by R. Guyovich

poop dood posted:

Also I've definitely tried to let meat come up to room temp on the countertop and temped it throughout and the amount of time it takes for the center to come up in temp appreciably is such that the outside would definitely be in the danger zone for bacteria by that time. I don't think that's worth worrying about. Just make sure the outside is dry and well-seasoned and you're good.

well, like basically anything above 50-60 is "the danger zone", so yeah you go there. not a big deal, and it doesn't have to come fully to room temp, just take the chill off. it makes a big difference.

Assuming you don't have a piece of meat that is already on the verge of spoiling, you aren't risking much food safety wise because you're immediately cooking the exterior of the meat with riproaring heat, killing anything that wanted to blossom. and if you have a marinade on, the salt there is inhibiting bacteria anyways, so you extra don't have much to worry about.

americans are way too worried about this poo poo. take it from me, a ServSafe Certified Cook. :> (highest standards only)

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

mindphlux posted:


it makes a big difference.


yeah but it doesn't so

Phummus
Aug 4, 2006

If I get ten spare bucks, it's going for a 30-pack of Schlitz.
Went to see Alton Brown's "Eat Your Science" show a few nights ago.

Total science demos: 2
Total songs he sings (poorly): 6
Total percentage of show that is him doing standup: 50

I was pretty underwhelmed. Looked like a vehicle for him to sell merchandise and not much else.

BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



I was also underwhelmed when I saw his previous show. Still respect the dude who first got me cooking, but sounds like he still can't put on a live show.

The worst part when I saw it was the obvious plant "audience members" he brought on stage. Is he doing that with the new show?

Phummus
Aug 4, 2006

If I get ten spare bucks, it's going for a 30-pack of Schlitz.
He did. The first, I thought was an obvious plant. She was SO charismatic and really played to the crowd. Hell, her purse was even a taco. But the 2nd person was such a dud, there's no way they were a plant. Dude was a culinary student and couldn't answer basic questions (granted, in front of a few thousand people, probably nervous, but still...)

I said the same thing to my wife. I have a huge amount of respect for the man, and he's one of the primary reasons I enjoy cooking the way I do, but he made a frozen cocktail and popcorn. That was it.

He did open the show with a high def version of this though. It made me laugh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttTpZuoJLMQ

Horn
Jun 18, 2004

Penetration is the key to success
College Slice
I saw him in Boston a week or so ago and I wasn't blown away. He called on an audience member during some skit on bacon and the poor lady was obviously very uncomfortable being the center of attention. Rather than ending it gracefully AB drew it out way too long to the point where it was pretty cruel imo to the woman.

The other two people who were brought up could have been plants - both played off of him and the crowd very well.

Totally Reasonable
Jan 8, 2008

aaag mirrors

I think Alton's been doing the same stage show since like 2013. I went to it last April, and recognized all the demos from the Edible Inevitable tour.

Reruns of Good Eats are a much better use of your time.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011
Regarding Alton Brown. I was browsing some Food Wishes videos and in one he says something along the lines of: "we don't use salt when making chicken stock, you really can't mess it up, ask Alton Brown!".

Any idea what that was about?

BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



No idea about AB and Chef John, but the typical thing with chicken stock is to add less salt than you think you need. That way, if you need to reduce it as part of your recipe, it won't be too salty. You can always salt to taste at the end.

The exception would be if you're using stock to cook rice or pasta, in which case you need the salt at the beginning of the recipe.

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

I wouldn't bother salting my stock at all, since how much salt you need depends entirely on what you're using the stock for.


I've been saving the bean broth from the chickpeas I pressure cook every Sunday that I use for my lunches during the week, and it is absolutely terrific as a base for soups or for any occasion where you need liquid. Very earthy and delicious. I did the same with some broth from cooking kidney beans, but I found it made everything taste like kidney beans.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011
OK, I'm nitpicking now, but went back to the video and Chef John's actual line is: "Do not put salt in this, alright? You don't put salt in chicken stock as it cooks; how would it screw it up? I don't know! Ask Alton Brown."
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Oi4DjS5EJU&t=59s)

Chemmy
Feb 4, 2001

If you salt it to taste and then reduce the stock the salt stays and it'll be too salty. It's not magic, just a lot of people would gently caress it up so it's easier to not add salt until you're done.

pile of brown
Dec 31, 2004
People underestimate the value of "blank" prep like stock that you can do whatever with later if you don't do too much to it now

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg

The Midniter posted:

I wouldn't bother salting my stock at all, since how much salt you need depends entirely on what you're using the stock for.


I've been saving the bean broth from the chickpeas I pressure cook every Sunday that I use for my lunches during the week, and it is absolutely terrific as a base for soups or for any occasion where you need liquid. Very earthy and delicious. I did the same with some broth from cooking kidney beans, but I found it made everything taste like kidney beans.

It's not a super good idea to use kidney bean cooking/soaking liquid. They're one of the few beans that contain significant amounts of phytohaemagglutinin (I think I got that right, phone posting oh well) which is somewhat toxic. Not a huge deal unless you're eating pounds of beans every day, but it's at least worth knowing.

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


SymmetryrtemmyS posted:

It's not a super good idea to use kidney bean cooking/soaking liquid. They're one of the few beans that contain significant amounts of phytohaemagglutinin (I think I got that right, phone posting oh well) which is somewhat toxic. Not a huge deal unless you're eating pounds of beans every day, but it's at least worth knowing.

iirc you can deactivate that by having the beans at a full boil for 5-10 minutes.

Edit: also the kidney bean cooking liquid is nowhere near as tasty as chickpea. Personally I wouldn't want to use it.

30 Goddamned Dicks
Sep 8, 2010

I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.
Fun Shoe

Phummus posted:

Went to see Alton Brown's "Eat Your Science" show a few nights ago.

Total science demos: 2
Total songs he sings (poorly): 6
Total percentage of show that is him doing standup: 50

I was pretty underwhelmed. Looked like a vehicle for him to sell merchandise and not much else.

Same, I went Saturday night. I love the man but........... he’s not Weird Al nor is he Adam Savage and I feel like he’s trying a bit too hard to be both.

Honestly I think Kenji Lopez-Alt is the new Kitchen Science Dude and Alton should either start doing collab stuff with him and other Big Food People or just keep co-hosting shows on TFN and semi-retire with his bajillions of dollars.

Also apparently they’re doing a Good Eats reboot? And I’m like nooooo the horse is dead it’s been dead for years don’t!!!!!!!

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
If you want some hardcore technology and science in your food, I strongly suggest listening to Dave Arnold's Cooking Issues podcast, or simply asking him questions directly on his @CookingIssues twitter. The man is not only an amazing walking encyclopedia of food science knowledge, he's also a hilarious ball of self-loathing and anger comedy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-6QlI6EAIU

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Nov 7, 2017

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rgocs
Nov 9, 2011
I've been hooked on Cooking Issues for quite a while now. However, I've failed to get friends into it, it seems most of them don't understand why anyone would listen to a "cooking show".

Edit: I do try to explain it's not just "a cooking show", but still.

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