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 In Asia before
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Nov 14, 2017 10:14
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In. Asia, before
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Nov 14, 2017 10:16
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uh, in Asia, after
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Nov 14, 2017 12:18
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ThirdEmperor posted:Murica! Before 1900. Caroline Affair Nethilia posted:In. Musa I's Pilgrimage to Mecca Sham bam bamina! posted:Antarctica, after. Operation Highjump flerp posted:asia before Taiping Rebellion Thranguy posted:in Fall of Constantinople Fumblemouse posted:In Occupation of the Channel Islands Antivehicular posted:In. 1951 Argentinian Presidential Election crabrock posted:in but i can't decide so decide for me plz October Revolution Fuubi posted:
Meiji Restoration Obliterati posted:In. Asia, before Siege of Baghdad BabyRyoga posted:uh, in 1953 Iranian coup d'état
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Nov 14, 2017 13:06
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IN. Europe, after 1900.
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Nov 14, 2017 13:16
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J.A.B.C. posted:IN. Reunification of Germany
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Nov 14, 2017 13:35
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In! Asia, before! Do you do flash rules? 'Cause I'm hungry for a flash rule!
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Nov 14, 2017 13:47
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sparksbloom posted:In. Oceania, after.
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Nov 14, 2017 14:31
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In, Asia, After 1900 please!
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Nov 14, 2017 14:33
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South America, after.
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Nov 14, 2017 15:15
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Uranium Phoenix posted:In. Americas, before. Plz I need a prompt so bad
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Nov 14, 2017 15:40
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My bad! The Disappearance of Harold Holt apophenium posted:In, Asia, After 1900 please! Fall/Liberation of Saigon Deltasquid posted:In! Asia, before! First Crusade Genre Requirement: Romance
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Nov 14, 2017 15:51
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Uranium Phoenix posted:Plz I need a prompt so bad Pastry War
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Nov 14, 2017 15:54
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Europe and, honestly, either. Whatever you think will be more fun for me to write and you to read.
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Nov 14, 2017 16:29
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Tyrannosaurus posted:Europe and, honestly, either. Whatever you think will be more fun for me to write and you to read. Cadaver Synod
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Nov 14, 2017 18:50
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In Europe, before
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Nov 14, 2017 20:02
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Remember that I, Exmond, middling writer extraordinare, am a worse writer than you! Djeser All Hail Grubscratch What Worked: Pretty much everything worked. The start is funny and we quickly get to the real "Deal" of the story quickly. You explain why the people follow them. Things I disliked: The ending with the bit about thumb wrestling. It comes out of nowhere. The reveal of the knights gender is also a hit or miss thing. Prompt: Nails it, I laughed Overall: A great story! Fumble Mouse: Bring on the Lovers, Liars and Clowns What Worked: Your idea is pretty funny and the story flows pretty well, save for a few scenes. Things I disliked: All of the sudden "action" scenes are ill-timed and with very little explanation. They also serve to villianize King Arthur, who I think we are supposed to be sympathetic to? Political commentary is an odd thing. The joke lands but I also had to go "gently caress" None of your jokes land. I get that Jamison is supposed to be the joke delivery system (As well as King Arthur), but I think tweaking your dialogue would of made some of hte jokes land better. An example is when King Arthur is introduced to the Prime Minister. There was a chance for a good joke there but it comes to late (Before he kills police officers, hah- that isn't funny.) Prompt: It explores a funny idea but fails to land any jokes. The suddden action also ruins the tone of the piece Overall: Good idea, tries for some jokes and then beheads people. Needs to spend some more time chilling out. Chairchucker Transcript of Breakfast Show, 12 January 2005, 0503 -- 0550' FLASH RULE: Material Issue's "International Pop Overthrow" After your Elvis story I had high expectations, I think that affected the crit, sorry! What Worked: The ending joke is funny. The dog character and what you do with it was also neat. Things I disliked: Your format plus the "Conflict" of the story do not mix. First off, we learn about the mystery near the tail end of the start, meaning I have to go through 4 paragraphs of boring dialogue. Then once they mystery is established you... waffle on phone calls and trying to land some not good jokes. Your ending is literally "Then the thing stopped and we won't explain anything". Again I think your format got in the way of actually having a story. Prompt: None of the jokes landed. There were many attempts at jokes. Overall: A transcript of a boring news event. BabyRyoga Moscow Misunderstanding FLASH RULE: Sally Cinnamon You "hid" your grammar errors and spelling errors in dialogue so you get away with it. What Worked: Someone had to explain your ending "Aunty Freeze" and that is a GROAN worthy bad joke sir. I think if you had tightened it up and foreshadowed it (The aunt's name is Kendra, and she never mentions shes freezing) you would have nailed it and earned the ire of every judge out there. Hats off to your bad joke sir! Things I disliked: Your whole story is boring, I'm sorry to say. The start is about a protagonist who is on the train, the train stops, he thinks about his aunt, grabs his INVENTORY LIST (Which is meaningless) and then goes for a walk. By the fourth paragraph we FINALLY, FINALLY get some kind of mystery but it is ruined by the incredibly PASSIVE protagonist (I climbed onto the car without resistance or panic). Then we get to the joke and it doesn't land. AntiFreeze doesn't help wtih cooling an engine down. it prevents the water running through the radiator from freezing and is needed in chilly temperatures. You didn't mention that so the reader is left confused (Also why did they think he made Aunty Freeze?) Things that I got angry reading I was travelling with my Aunt Kendra, whom did things. who She won't mind if I leave for an bit. a bit Prompt: It tries wtih a really bad joke that's so bad it's good. Overall: A very long, boring wind up to one joke. The batter swings, twists his hips, nails himself in the head, and then falls while muttering about Anti-Freeze. SebMojo Piss What Worked: I didn't dislike the story, its competent and has compelling characters. It's a bit tough to read the dialogue and get through the slang/lingo, but the characters presented are characters. Things I disliked: Your dialogue, but that's because Im an old man who doesn't understand your millenial lingo and now i'm confused and slightly scared. The distinct lack of jokes throughout the piece. I have a feeling this is a giant setup for a joke... Oh no, a massive lead up to a piss joke. Prompt: N..no. Overall: A competent story that spends 800 words to lead up to a piss joke.
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Nov 14, 2017 20:24
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Exmond posted:
Again. 
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Nov 14, 2017 20:52
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Deltasquid posted:Again. 
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Nov 14, 2017 21:54
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actually, fuckit: fight me you Belgian noncewaffle
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Nov 14, 2017 22:53
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Oh hell yes. Prepare for the second loss in your career, old man.
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Nov 14, 2017 23:58
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Simbyotic posted:In Second Defenestration of Prague
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Nov 14, 2017 23:59
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Natty Ninefingers posted:South America, after. Fall of Pedro II of Brazil
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Nov 15, 2017 00:01
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deltamojo brawl starts with a piss joke, ends with a dead belgian 800 words due 11/25 11:59 pm pst toxx up boys
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Nov 15, 2017 00:07
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Nov 15, 2017 00:12
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Deltasquid posted:Oh hell yes. Prepare for the second loss in your career, old man. actually sebmojo has 13 brawl defeats https://thunderdome.cc/?author=sebmojo / 
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Nov 15, 2017 00:25
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crabrock posted:actually sebmojo has 13 brawl defeats https://thunderdome.cc/?author=sebmojo I will spend the next 10 days studying the blade... While you party, I will analyze your weaknesses... While you think of piss jokes, I will hone my prose.... Omae wa mou shindeiru, Sebmojo-san
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Nov 15, 2017 00:31
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in, Africa, after.
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Nov 15, 2017 01:16
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Ironic Twist posted:in, Africa, after. Battle of Algiers
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Nov 15, 2017 01:18
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Deltasquid posted:Omae wa mou shindeiru, Sebmojo-san Everyone Like the fallen leaves Is already dead sebmojo fucked around with this message at 12:57 on Nov 15, 2017 |
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Nov 15, 2017 01:37
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 Thunderdome Recap!  Writing is a lot like rage: it's all a feeling, And it fills our hearts from the floor to the ceiling. We see disasters all around us; Stop and take a read, and drown in disgust. Plots so broken that they hurt. loving commas, how do they work? And we don't wanna talk to the failure list. Y'all mofos are shameful and getting us pissed. Child abuse and popcorn weather-- At least recappers suffer together. It's a cheery day at the abusement park, and Sitting Here, Ironic Twist, and I are on a mission to ride all the roller coasters of Week 272: Lost in the funhouse! Well, maybe not all of them. We don't like lines--they give our fair food too long to settle--so we skip the popular rides and head straight to the creaking deathtraps that sensible people avoid. Wheee, a shooting gallery full of paper-thin targets! Dibs on the centaur carousel! It all ends in vomit and tears, alas, when we read Sham bam bamina!'s "Behind the Paint." He barfed, and nobody cared. Episodes past can be found here! Kaishai fucked around with this message at 01:49 on Nov 15, 2017 |
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Nov 15, 2017 01:43
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Kaishai posted:
Looking forward to listening to this is getting me through my lovely afternoon of pointless administrivia at work 😁
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Nov 15, 2017 04:17
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QuoProQuid posted:SNIP Urgh, I honestly can't choose here. I guess I'll go with what I know Europe, Post 1900
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Nov 15, 2017 06:21
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Exmond posted:Remember that I, Exmond, middling writer extraordinare, am a worse writer than you! Actually you are good, because writing crits is good. Thank you.
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Nov 15, 2017 08:02
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TheGreekOwl posted:Urgh, I honestly can't choose here. I guess I'll go with what I know 23-F
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Nov 15, 2017 12:05
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i'll help judge this ask for flash rules with a
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Nov 15, 2017 14:49
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If you need another Judge, I'll throw my banana pickers hat in as well.
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Nov 15, 2017 17:48
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Thank you for doing justice to my masterpiece.
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Nov 15, 2017 20:09
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hi I am in with North America/before and will also more because I am a horrible flake but I will take a flash rule too I guess
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Nov 16, 2017 05:16
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Oceania, after.
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Nov 16, 2017 12:15
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