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ExecuDork posted:
Someone needs to collect their eggs and clean the nest boxes more often.
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Apr 7, 2017 19:32
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 14:36 |
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This happened a while ago, but I figured it's worth sharing. I was just starting to get into cooking, but was still very inexperienced with different ingredients. I wanted to make a nice dinner for my Jewish friend around Hanukkah, so we invited him over. The first thing that came to mind was brisket, so I looked up a recipe and found one that sounded good with parsnips and leeks. I'd never cooked brisket or used parsnips or leeks, but the recipe was a pretty straight forward slow roast. I went to the grocery store to pick up everything we needed. I headed over to the meat section and was having some trouble finding brisket. Usually I'm able to find the different cuts of beef in the Kroger packaging, but I'm scanning and sifting through the shelves and just can't find anything. Finally I look down toward the bottom and find something that's differently packaged and branded, but it's brisket. I grab it and head home, then start the roast the next day. It's a long and slow roast - around 4 hours I think. I was anxious to get into it and see how it turned out. So I take it out of the oven and start to make plates. It's... Not falling apart like I assumed it would, and it's got a reddish hue even after roasting for so long. Hmm. I cut it into slices, add the vegetables, and we all sit down to eat. The first bite, we realize something is off. I'm chewing it, and it's just a weird texture and we can all tell the flavor is off as well. I'm starting to worry that something went wrong in the cooking process or the meat was off or something. I get the packaging and take a closer look. I bought brisket. Corned beef brisket. I slow roasted a slab of cooked corned beef.
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Apr 8, 2017 03:10
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ExecuDork posted:Huh? Did he collect these eggs himself? Why were they covered with sufficient poop to require tossing the cooked insides of those eggs yet not at least rinsed? I'm trying to picture picking up an egg that's got dried chicken poo poo flaking off of it and just cracking that sucker - too hard, with bits of shell going everywhere - into a pan. We live in China; eggs here sometimes still have chicken poo clinging to the surface. A quick wash with dish soap works well enough. ^^beaten HAHAHA EGGS BEATEN GET IT
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Apr 10, 2017 14:23
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I know! Let's put a bunch of sliced meat and baking soda in a bag, leave it in the fridge overnight, then dump it all in a pan with some mandolin'd potatoes! That's Chinese food, right? 
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Apr 10, 2017 15:23
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Was recently in hospital with sepsis and when I came out I hadn't realised my tastebuds were still hosed up (because hell, how do you notice with how bland hospital food is anyway). I especially had trouble with salt/bitter it turns out. Anyway, my dad made some ragu for spaghetti and, as usual, he asked me to taste and adjust as I liked since he usually trusts my sense of taste. Weeeeeelp I wouldn't say it was quite the Dead Sea with meat and tomato but..
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Apr 10, 2017 15:55
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NLJP posted:Was recently in hospital with sepsis and when I came out I hadn't realised my tastebuds were still hosed up (because hell, how do you notice with how bland hospital food is anyway). I especially had trouble with salt/bitter it turns out. Anyway, my dad made some ragu for spaghetti and, as usual, he asked me to taste and adjust as I liked since he usually trusts my sense of taste. if you were adding that much salt, wouldn't you have visually been able to tell something was wrong
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Apr 10, 2017 18:43
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Futaba Anzu posted:if you were adding that much salt, wouldn't you have visually been able to tell something was wrong Oddly enough, no. It was a lot of ragu and maybe my brain was still in a bit of a mess (definitely). I mean, I spent a day not too long before that hallucinating my IV drip was a perching bird. NLJP fucked around with this message at 13:36 on Apr 11, 2017 |
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Apr 11, 2017 13:33
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Not too long after I graduated from college and started living on my own I decided to have a go at 40 clove chicken. Coming from a family that is generally competent in the kitchen, I usually use my instincts but this was the day Id try a recipe verbatim. Step 1: in high heat sear the chicken pieces. I set my cast iron on the electric range, crank it up to high and wait until it is as high as one could imagine. Plop goes a breast and fwoomp, a small mushroom cloud of steam and smoke emerges from the pan. Instantly realizing something is not right, I grab the breast which now has a side looking very reminiscent of pure carbon. Fanning away the excess smoke I see little bits of chicken embers on the bottom of the pan. On the positive side I discovered that my smoke detector wasnt working. Also more recently I was making paneer tikka on metal skewers. 30 seconds after putting them on the grill I decide to move them over to make way for chicken. Without gloves. Sizzle. Thank god I had just bought my wife an aloe plant for that exact purpose.
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Apr 12, 2017 04:09
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I have no clue what happened tonight. Tried to make carne guisada - a few minor tweaks to my normal recipe, but nothing outlandish. Somehow, the beef is completely cooked and perfect but there is still WAY too much liquid. If I keep reducing, the beef will be overcooked, and I have no corn starch. Gonna refrigerate it overnight, grab corn starch tomorrow and hope for the best I guess but drat. It's also oddly bitter, but I suspect I went overboard with the anchos and I can fix that. Edit: I could just ladle some liquid off and reduce it a bit more to the right texture but that just feels wrong. Shooting Blanks fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Apr 12, 2017 |
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Apr 12, 2017 05:02
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Shooting Blanks posted:I have no clue what happened tonight. Tried to make carne guisada - a few minor tweaks to my normal recipe, but nothing outlandish. Somehow, the beef is completely cooked and perfect but there is still WAY too much liquid. If I keep reducing, the beef will be overcooked, and I have no corn starch. Gonna refrigerate it overnight, grab corn starch tomorrow and hope for the best I guess but drat. It's also oddly bitter, but I suspect I went overboard with the anchos and I can fix that. Take the meat out of the liquid, reduce liquid?
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Apr 12, 2017 07:44
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Dirk the Average posted:Take the meat out of the liquid, reduce liquid? Yeah do this. I always have too much liquid in like, every recipe, even when I follow the directions exactly.
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Apr 12, 2017 12:22
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I had just started working as a cook in this Scottish bar in Berlin and was making some roasted nuts for the bar to sell as snack. There was a nice little folder in the kitchen with recipes to reference for everything (we worked alone, so there was no one to ask). I make the nuts exactly to recipe, pre-heat the oven to where the recipe said, set the tray in the oven and headed out to chat with the bartender because I was bored, recipe said 15 minutes so I knew I had time. 5 minutes later, I smell an awful burning smell, I rush in, pull the tray out and discover that everything's charred and worthless. Turns out that despite this being a Scottish kitchen in Germany, someone had written the temperatures in Fahrenheit. 300 degrees celsius was a tad too high.
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Apr 13, 2017 00:12
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I was trying to make a mac and cheese-esque meal for my clients the other day (I work for an elderly couple and just do housekeeping and cooking for them) and I completely hosed up the roux but persisted anyway and made the worst most grainy mac ever.  And I couldn't remake it because it was getting to be too late and I needed to be able to clean up before I left so I just served the gross mac with really tasty chicken mixed in. I cooked the chicken with bacon and onion and it was perfect, it didn't deserve to be a part of my broken bad cheese sauce.
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May 13, 2017 06:48
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How did your clients like it? Old age generally reduces one's sense of taste and smell (that's why stereotypically old-people candies are basically just sugar with sugar and maybe some sugar), perhaps they didn't notice? Especially if your chicken/bacon/onion was as good as you say (and I'm hungry, dammit, it sounds delicious!).
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May 14, 2017 01:21
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You should use sodium citrate for the cheese sauce, that makes it impossible to gently caress up.
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May 28, 2017 20:40
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I tried making a fondue with half Gruyere and half Camembert and the end result looked like someone had dumped a pile of cottage cheese into Gruyere. I wonder why that happened? Gruyere and blue cheese worked great.
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Aug 2, 2017 15:38
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Did you leave the rind on the camembert?
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Aug 2, 2017 15:56
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Yeah, chopped the whole thing in... since the rind is edible on those and it was pretty soft on the one I used in particular.
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Aug 2, 2017 19:21
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That's you're problem. The rind won't melt in. It's now a skin made out of mold and other dried bonded proteins, not CHEESE cheese.
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Aug 2, 2017 22:10
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 my garlic roasted broccoli  In my rush to coordinate all the side dishes I forgot to turn off a burner, and set the pan on the stove to cool. It did not cool. The fumes were horrible. I threw it out onto the patio because I was still in the middle of cooking dinner and couldn't deal with it.
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Aug 8, 2017 19:26
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Did the pan survive? Also I can just about imagine how bad burning garlic and broccoli smelled. (very bad)
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Aug 10, 2017 14:27
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Charred broccoli is great though.
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Aug 10, 2017 21:04
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The pan was intact but with the fumes and the scorching I was worried about nonstick chemical poo poo leaching into food cooked on it so I just tossed the whole thing and added more baking sheets to the wedding registry 
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Sep 3, 2017 01:53
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well it TURNS OUT when you're making vegan pasta sauce, you have to use unflavoured almond milk, not the vanilla stuff... it's kind of like dinner and dessert all in one!
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Oct 1, 2017 23:40
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Killingyouguy! posted:well it TURNS OUT when you're making vegan pasta sauce, you have to use unflavoured almond milk, not the vanilla stuff... Ha! Laughing with you, not at you. Did something similar when I was broke as gently caress and making do with off-brand boxed mac'n'cheese and "oh hey, here's a container of a dairy-ish thing". Probably could've sold it as some hipster ironic cheesecake, but dang was that a bowl of sickly sweet disappointment.
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Oct 3, 2017 00:09
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A fuckup haiku: Drunken seasoned rice Soy sauce, MSG... Tajin? Sad weird bowl of food
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Oct 21, 2017 06:09
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Totally Reasonable posted:A fuckup haiku: I'm so not high, man It's time to make the pizza Yogurt goes on top!!!!!!
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Oct 21, 2017 20:51
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microwave is on I hope there is food in there if not, McDonald's?
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Oct 21, 2017 23:22
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Delicious serranos Dancing in the frying pan My eyes! My Nose! Ow!
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Oct 22, 2017 01:40
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Made some chunky mashed potatoes for our early family Thanksgiving dinner. Last part, grind some pepper in and mash. New pepper grinder was already loose when I turned it over to grind They turned out great anyway, just some surprise leftover peppercorns hidden around. At least it wasn't the salt...
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Nov 18, 2017 20:16
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Ha! Laughing with you, not at you. Did something similar when I was broke as gently caress and making do with off-brand boxed mac'n'cheese and "oh hey, here's a container of a dairy-ish thing". Probably could've sold it as some hipster ironic cheesecake, but dang was that a bowl of sickly sweet disappointment. I once made a quiche with vanilla yogurt (the only dairy in the fridge). I went to bed hungry that night.
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Nov 19, 2017 02:53
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I am so glad this thread exists because I need somewhere to cry. I started slow-cooking about 6 months ago and I’m in love with it because it’s an easy way to make a ton of delicious food using cheap ingredients. I haven’t been following any recipes, just experimenting with basic hard-to-mess-up ingredients and finding my own recipes I like. The last month or so I’d been saving the broth from several cooks that usually included herb-rubbed chicken and assorted veggies. It always smelled so good that I couldn’t bear to throw out, I always figured I’d use it for something. Today I was really hung over and it’s cold out so I decided I was going to teach myself to make soup. I cooked 2.5 lbs of boneless skinless chicken thighs, added my broth along with some carrots, peas, corn, seasoning and some cooked orzo. Stirred the whole thing together to lightly shred the chicken and it was glorious, albeit way too thick to be considered soup. Whatever, I have a whole carton of Swanson’s broth I can add to thin it out, no big deal, doesn’t even expire until Spring of next year. As soon as I started pouring it my stomach turned. It was completely baby-diaper rotten. I didn’t think to smell it because it was previously unopened and nowhere near the expire date. I just dumped several pounds of food in the trash and had to take it straight to the dumpster in the rain. Silver lining is I didn’t have the celery I wanted to add, plus something spicy to give it a kick. I’ll go grocery shopping and try again, but I was looking forward to using my own recycled chicken juice 
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Nov 19, 2017 04:49
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/\/\ drat. That really sucks.Admiral Joeslop posted:Made some chunky mashed potatoes for our early family Thanksgiving dinner. Last part, grind some pepper in and mash. It turned out awesome and now I just pour handfuls of them into stews.
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Nov 19, 2017 05:02
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always taste and smell everything you add to anything you cook, I feel like that's the takeaway lesson from this page. it's really easy to get in the habit of being like 'oh, tomato paste, this recipe calls for it, I should add it!', but even basic ingredients like that can vary drastically from batch to batch, or supplier to supplier, or be seven years old and rotten in your pantry, or who knows. there's just no reason not to give the swansons chicken broth or the breadcrumbs or the questionable ketchup or can of chickpeas a once over taste test before dumping it in your dish. you'll get a better sense of what your dish needs if you taste your ingredients, and you'll make sure not to add any rotten rear end stuff to what you're cooking. Also, always always remember, if you add a bunch of stuff that doesn't really taste all that great to a dish, the sum isn't gonna be better than the parts that go into it. It's good practice to make sure you'd independently want to eat each and every component of your dish on its own, and then whatever you're cooking will turn out great. case in point, a pasta sauce with tomatoes, onions, and mushrooms. don't just throw all your vegetables in a pot and hope for the best, cook the onions like you were just going to eat a pile of delicious onions, your mushrooms like you were just gonna eat a bunch of mushrooms, and season your tomatoes like you were going to eat a salad or something. when you bring them all together, everything will taste awesome, and you don't even have to much worry about a recipe or seasoning or whatever,
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Nov 20, 2017 11:19
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mindphlux posted:always taste and smell everything you add to anything you cook, I feel like that's the takeaway lesson from this page. I agree with the tasting, but the cooking idea only partially. For example, the mushrooms. By the time I am done cooking mushrooms the way I want to eat them, they will turn to mush mush after simmering in a sauce for a goodly bit. Same with the onions.
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Nov 20, 2017 13:03
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Samizdata posted:I agree with the tasting, but the cooking idea only partially. For example, the mushrooms. By the time I am done cooking mushrooms the way I want to eat them, they will turn to mush mush after simmering in a sauce for a goodly bit. Same with the onions. You best not be putting raw onions in a tomato sauce.
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Nov 20, 2017 15:46
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ColHannibal posted:You best not be putting raw onions in a tomato sauce. No, but he says to cook it like you were going to eat it. I like my onions pretty well along, not just lightly translucent.
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Nov 20, 2017 16:11
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ColHannibal posted:You best not be putting raw onions in a tomato sauce. Why not? I like the taste of raw onions, do they do something terrible to tomato sauce (other than the taste)?
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Nov 20, 2017 16:35
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I try to avoid preaching in this thread because it can feel like an attack, but this one is really important to me: Anything liquid cannot be removed from a recipe. Always, always pour your fluids into a measuring cup or a bowl or a something before it hits the main recipe bowl. A single bad egg can ruin hundreds of dollars of other ingredients. Ask me how I know!
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Nov 20, 2017 18:56
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 14:36 |
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How do you know?
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Nov 20, 2017 19:12
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