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A Neurotic Corncob
Nov 12, 2016

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.
http://www.gamerevolution.com/preview/357691-star-citizen-3-0-alpha-a-vision-of-things-to-come-hands-on-preview

quote:

Unfortunately, in time-honored Star Citizen tradition, 3.0 is buggy as hell. You'll get random slowdown, textures that fail to stream in, crashes, buggy interactions, random freak occurrences that end in your death, and other frustrating things. Sometimes the game will just refuse to load, and there's been a fair amount of server connection errors.

In essence, though, this release to the PTU is kind of like the alpha version of 3.0 alpha. Many things need to be tested, and a lot of things will still be added in this release as critical and blocking bugs are eliminated. If you get a chance to play, and you hit a bug that keeps happening, instead of getting frustrated, submit it to the Issue Council. It'll help out the devs and likely make you feel better about the whole thing since you dedicating some time to helping the game get fixed quicker.

There's a lot I haven't touched on here, mostly because I need to get out in Crusader and find it. Star Citizen is far from a complete game in this state, but maybe for the first time it actually feels like a game instead of a giant tech demo. With the release of 3.0 you can see the outline of what the game is capable of being, and despite the delays and the missteps, I'm excited to be back in the cockpit.

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Variable 5
Apr 17, 2007
We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.
Grimey Drawer
This is an ELE in the same way the dinosaurs getting cholesterol poisoning instead of being obliterated by a massive meteor is an ELE.

Xaerael
Aug 25, 2010

Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

Sarsapariller posted:


Attempt 1)
I load into the main menu and attempt to log into the universe- the game goes to a black screen while epic music plays. I assume that this is it now, the Star Citizen experience. Just listen to the music and imagine the adventures your spaceman must be having. I imagine my spaceman's way through college, a stable middle class job, and eventual retirement. He dies surrounded by his family and friends and with his journey concluded, I shed a single tear and ctrl-alt-delete to restart having spent about 10 minutes staring at nothing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szzVlQ653as&t=21s

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Variable 5 posted:

I just watched a fat person wearing cat ears stare at the keybindings for a couple of minutes, get stuck in a doorway, and run a memory defragmenter (how is that even a thing) a bunch of times before I closed Twitch again while the comments were all singing the game’s praises.

This thing is never going to die.

It's true. This is a religion now, not a game. You're witnessing the birth of Scientology Lite. In a manner of speaking, Derek is indirectly responsible for this being elevated into immortality in the way it has. You can't have God without a Devil.

Had Derek never bothered getting involved, the game would be dead right now. But the humor would have never reached these levels, and CIG would not have created a voluntary online pedophile quarantine zone. So I think it's probably a net gain.

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat
Any word on what the second holiday sale ship is going to be?

MedicineHut
Feb 25, 2016

Sarsapariller posted:

So apparently something in their system still thinks I'm a concierge level backer because I was sent the access code for the PTU overnight. Time for some stories:

Today's mission is "Load into the game and fly to some kind of moon."

Attempt 1)
I load into the main menu and attempt to log into the universe- the game goes to a black screen while epic music plays. I assume that this is it now, the Star Citizen experience. Just listen to the music and imagine the adventures your spaceman must be having. I imagine my spaceman's way through college, a stable middle class job, and eventual retirement. He dies surrounded by his family and friends and with his journey concluded, I shed a single tear and ctrl-alt-delete to restart having spent about 10 minutes staring at nothing.

Attempt 2)
I have access to all of the hangars, I guess? I try to load the asteroid hangar figuring it probably won't kick me to a black screen for quite as long. Sure enough, I get in, but much to my surprise the actual loaded game is nearly pitch black anyway. Everything is dark and moving my head leaves trails of motion blur in the most sickening way imaginable. I go fiddle with config settings for several minutes (gamma does nothing) and eventually get it looking passable. I take about 10 steps forward into the elevator. The gate closes behind me. I try to push buttons on the console... nope. Try to go back out... nope. This is the most realistic stuck-in-an-elevator simulator I've ever experienced, it's really very breathtaking. Apparently you have to push "F" to "Focus" which makes controls pop up and that's how you're supposed to interact with things now. All it does for me is decouple my mouse movement from my head movement, but there are no interactivity points to be had.

Deciding to make the most of my time stuck in the elevator, I pull up the "Moby Glass," presumably named for the distinctive eyewear of the american DJ and animal rights activist. I'd seen some videos of this thing and kind of assumed they looked lovely because somebody was filming their monitor with a cell phone camera, but no- it actually looks like that. The distortion and level of filtering on the menu is unreal and unreadable. There are a zillion tiny icons and I kind of click around for a minute trying to figure out if any of them do anything. I'm particularly fond of slots T1 through T30 in my character inventory, each of which can apparently be set to carry one of about twenty different ammo magazines. But I can't for the life of me figure out how to carry any guns.

Eventually it becomes apparent that the elevator repairmen are hours away at best, so I exit to main menu and try to load back into the universe.

Attempt 3)
Black screen for about 15 minutes so far.

Riveting gameplay and immershun

Solarin
Nov 15, 2007

EightAce posted:

Ive said too much for a mere intern :( . Apoligies

Get ATXSperg back in here to treat us with more CIG workplace alcoholism stories

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Blue On Blue posted:

He always looks so confused or startled in that still shot

Probably just received his last credit card statement in the mail.

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004

We're having fun, we're having fun!! said the bowtie man as they fail to get a couple of space bikes into the ship hold.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





big problems with phantom players, apparently. None of the Relay crew can see each other.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Beet Wagon posted:

big problems with phantom players, apparently. None of the Relay crew can see each other.

Good thing they featured FaceOverIP so much in their presentations.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Combat Theory posted:

By the way, G0RF thanks for your write ups and effort posts.

I really enjoy reading through them

Ha — dude you don’t have to thank me — I love typing. The Star Citizen chronicles are one of the most fascinating, hilarious, and galling stories in gaming history. Even when I took a year off the thread, my interest in SC didn’t abate and by habit sometimes I just dove in to my notepad after watching something annoying about CIG and dropped effort posts for myself solely for the pleasure of writing. Often even since returning, I start one yet don’t have the time to finish it and the moment passes. The reply gets added to the outtakes reel.

I literally have dozens of them just cluttering up my phone from last year and this. Gorf apocryoha, I guess.

So I appreciate the kind words but no need to thank me, I really love being one of the many voices here. :)

(Thread is moving so fast now I’m disrupting the flow so i’ll shut up now and get caught up...)

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

skaboomizzy posted:

Good thing they featured FaceOverIP so much in their presentations.

This whole project is FarceOverIP.

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016

I watched the relay_sc stream for 15 mins, first time I watch a sc stream for more than 30 secs, and everything is broken. The 30 secs screencaps we got there are not chosen moments, they are the full nogame. Get a refund commandos.

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

I hope this gets funded and 'developed' for at least five more years

Hell, make it ten

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016

Every loving action can cause a disastrous consequence. There is no game, there won't ever be a game.

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004

Take this patch, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Ooh, that's bad.
But it comes with improved netcode!
That's good.
The netcode is also cursed.
That's bad.
But you get your choice of ships.
That's good!
The ships contain game breaking bugs. ...That's bad.
Can I play now?

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016

The UI is no meant for a game, the physics are unsustainable, the network don't even let you see another commando correctly. There is nothing to do, there is nothing to hope, only the void is awaiting the commandos.

tooterfish
Jul 13, 2013

Mr. Carlisle posted:

I hope this gets funded and 'developed' for at least five more years

Hell, make it ten
I look forward to the updated development time comparison charts!

"You see, technically Diablo 3 started development in 1978, so Star Citizen's 11 year alpha test is perfectly normal. In fact I'm glad they're taking their time, and aren't at all worried that the 45 shell companies now appear to be funnelling cash directly into a live volcano." -- a future commando.

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
Man, imagine if those relay dudes were playing an actual game. They would be having a blast.

DapperDon
Sep 7, 2016

G0RF posted:

Ha — dude you don’t have to thank me — I love typing. The Star Citizen chronicles are one of the most fascinating, hilarious, and galling stories in gaming history. Even when I took a year off the thread, my interest in SC didn’t abate and by habit sometimes I just dove in to my notepad after watching something annoying about CIG and dropped effort posts for myself solely for the pleasure of writing. Often even since returning, I start one yet don’t have the time to finish it and the moment passes. The reply gets added to the outtakes reel.

I literally have dozens of them just cluttering up my phone from last year and this. Gorf apocryoha, I guess.

So I appreciate the kind words but no need to thank me, I really love being one of the many voices here. :)

(Thread is moving so fast now I’m disrupting the flow so i’ll shut up now and get caught up...)

This would make a hilarious coffee table book illustrated by Galarox.

DapperDon
Sep 7, 2016

Zzr posted:

The UI is no meant for a game, the physics are unsustainable, the network don't even let you see another commando correctly. There is nothing to do, there is nothing to hope, only the void is awaiting the commandos.

There is nothing more depressing about this entire thread than this post.

DapperDon
Sep 7, 2016
And whoever gave me this groovy AV. Thank you friend.

biglads
Feb 21, 2007

I could've gone to Blatherwycke



https://robertsspaceindustries.com/orgs/STIMPIRE

If I had a game package, I'd apply

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

That moon looks so incredibly cinematic. It's like I'm watching a scene from a movie...



... from 1902.

For real. What is this crap?




DapperDon posted:

This would make a hilarious coffee table book illustrated by Galarox.

I am convinced that a Reader's Digest version of the best of the thread, spread out over the years so as to tell the unfolding story, would be one of the all time great video game. The shops, the effort posts, the transcripts - we all know buried inside this mountain of refuse is the largest gold deposit of LOLs, real time reacts, dawning horrors, and various evolving thread jokes. One day a compendium must be made for posterity's sake because there is no more complete history than this, and no richer one.

A Neurotic Corncob
Nov 12, 2016

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.

Zzr posted:

I watched the relay_sc stream for 15 mins, first time I watch a sc stream for more than 30 secs, and everything is broken. The 30 secs screencaps we got there are not chosen moments, they are the full nogame. Get a refund commandos.

They seem to have convinced themselves that floating around in the maelstrom of bugs and visual anomalies itself represents a kind of emergent gameplay. It's like the software's brokenness has turned in on itself to become a kind of infinite content generator where any series of events can happen in any order, impregnating the gamespace with evergreen possibility. Could this have been Chris's vision all along?

I think Chris may literally be a visionary genius.

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004

You just described Goat Simulator.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
fun with numbers

First Day Star Citizen Anniversary Sale Funding 2017: $434,735
First Day Star Citizen Anniversary Sale Funding 2016: $1,302,326
First Day Star Citizen Anniversary Sale Funding 2015: $633,883
First Day Star Citizen Anniversary Sale Funding 2014: $665,676
First Day Star Citizen Anniversary Sale Funding 2013: $242,069

for all you playing at home, the funding tracker for the 24th is complete at $434,735. That's an $867,591 decrease from last year or a 66.6% decline in first day sales, making it the worst opening anniversary sale day since 2013

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
oh and also

quote:

Wing Commander IV - $10 million - A 1996 Texas Monthly profile claimed the space combat sequel had a $10 million budget. Of that $10 million, $8.5 million was spent on live-action video sequences, according to Jamie Russell's Generation Xbox.
so yeah, pretty sure 80% or more of Star Citizen's budget is going directly to finance cutscenes

lol

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
lol on the star citizen streams, they are going all gaga all over the new warhammer 4x game

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

TheAgent posted:

oh and also

so yeah, pretty sure 80% or more of Star Citizen's budget is going directly to finance cutscenes

lol

Well it’s a tender mercy at least that Sandi recorded her segments out of her fixed annual salary...

Combat Theory
Jul 16, 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qnc13_DLpk

(its worth the watch)

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
whoever said "release 3.0 to everyone" is an absolutely huge fuckin moron

and I love them for it. stay with CIG forever

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





TheAgent posted:

whoever said "release 3.0 to everyone" is an absolutely huge fuckin moron

and I love them for it. stay with CIG forever

Well he's the head of the company, he can hardly just get up and walk out.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Abuminable posted:

From today's video about the bounty hunting profession:

Seriously looking forward to the big gameplay loops here:

Being captured and put in a crate for an unknown amount of time by another player, who will definitely be only virtuous to you in this condition.

Being jailed and actually breaking rocks as part of the jailed gameplay.

Definitely looking forward to the Star Citizen dream!!! :allears:

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer

Beet Wagon posted:

Well he's the head of the company, he can hardly just get up and walk out.
hmm not according to what happened with digital anvil

also whats with the roberts and naming their poo poo anvil and forge and poo poo like they are running the local smithy

Spiderdrake
May 12, 2001



Do any of the ships have cool names?

All I can bring to mind are mini-van names and random animals.

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016


I'm 5 mins in and I agree. It's like a depressed cat instead of an angry one.

Zzr fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Nov 25, 2017

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





TheAgent posted:

hmm not according to what happened with digital anvil

also whats with the roberts and naming their poo poo anvil and forge and poo poo like they are running the local smithy

Son, we live in a world that has mismanaged projects, and those projects have to be bought out by men with money. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Daztek?

(I know this joke has been done like half a dozen times by now but god damnit I just love it so much)

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Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Beet Wagon posted:

Well he's the head of the company, he can hardly just get up and walk out.

Worked for Francesco Schettino.

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