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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Sarsapariller posted:

So I guess the Banu Merchantman is back up for sale today? Just yesterday they put out some turret ship for $600 that nobody had ever seen before, and it was already in-engine with truckloads of beauty shots and will probably be out in the coming months. But the BMM is 4+ years old and they don't even have new concept art for it. How can anyone who bought that ship originally be okay with that? Why the hell would anyone buy one today? It kind of feels like most of the remaining old ships just got dropped in a memory hole, except they keep selling them.

The BMM. Where no one has a loving clue what it will actually look like.

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Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Colostomy Bag posted:

The BMM. Where no one has a loving clue what it will actually look like.

Collectively over the last couple of years it probably looks like about 12-18 million dollars.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Viscous Soda
Apr 24, 2004

SomethingJones posted:

DevilDogGamer just posted a video, the framerate is shocking and ships wibble and wobble and slide around the landing pads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IILcpHKIQe4&t=698s

I've never seen anything so clunky and awkward as Star Citizen, even the on-foot stuff is a big wibbly wobbly jerky clunky mess

It's painful to watch

I love the big glare blob at 14:16 that makes the console unreadable.

Combat Theory
Jul 16, 2017

Thoatse posted:

Do cigarettes from it taste like rear end?

I'll have you know that the rear end taste bug is filed on the donkey council and we are currently in the public test donkey phase.

You donkey haters following donkey smart just can't get over the genius of Burro Roberts.

When the rear-end pipelines are properly in place the rear end taste should be reduced by over 95 percent.

You clearly don't understand donkey development.

Toblakai
Jul 11, 2017

thatguy posted:

Please don't use double ellipsis in every post it triggers me greatly.

......

SCtrumpHaters
Oct 28, 2017

by Nyc_Tattoo
So we do need to talk however. Those of you who said CIG would be sunk if they released 3.0.

You are emphatically wrong.

Its been several days now that everyone has been able to sink their teeth into it. The response honestly couldn't be more positive. Positive threads, solid sale numbers, 2500 dollar fresh cash limited ships selling out instantly.

You were wrong and you need to be held accountable. At the very least temper your blind hate with a little more reason in the future.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
3.0 does look my kind of griefing paradise, I'll give ya that

A Neurotic Corncob
Nov 12, 2016

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.
less typing more balls

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

SCtrumpHaters posted:

So we do need to talk however. Those of you who said CIG would be sunk if they released 3.0.

You are emphatically wrong.

Its been several days now that everyone has been able to sink their teeth into it. The response honestly couldn't be more positive. Positive threads, solid sale numbers, 2500 dollar fresh cash limited ships selling out instantly.

You were wrong and you need to be held accountable. At the very least temper your blind hate with a little more reason in the future.

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

TheAgent posted:

3.0 does look my kind of griefing paradise, I'll give ya that

I'd feel like a chump waiting to grief someone who keeps getting killed by doors.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

SomethingJones posted:

So it turns out that you can only quantum jump to these specific waypoints after all, and then if you follow the 'glideslope' approach down to the base waypoint on the surface you shouldn't ever notice how they are just stitching a big texture onto a sphere. Procedural tech my arse.

For the record, I called that one a year ago. Even wrote TWO blogs and several articles about it. :colbert:

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

SomethingJones posted:

It sure is hard for these guys to accept that Chris Roberts has failed without also accepting that Derek Smart was right. Here's a guy who believed all the bullshit about Star Citizen and is still believing all the bullshit about Derek. No disrespect intended toward you FTR, I'm commenting on your video and your posts and trying to understand where you're coming from.

I'm glad you got out, it's a scam from back to front in my estimation because they don't have the tech or the talent to do the job. There's nothing more complicated to it than that. They aren't making a game, they are attempting to make a sci-fi universe in which they can sell virtual goods. That's it, that's all there is to it, and they have neither the engine nor the people nor the backend nor the leadership to do it.

:master:

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

That should be news to her, since all our 4 cars are paid for. Moron.

It's amazing to me that though blocked, these guys have a bot account they use to monitor my feed, then respond to themselves. :shrug:

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

SomethingJones posted:

So it turns out that you can only quantum jump to these specific waypoints after all, and then if you follow the 'glideslope' approach down to the base waypoint on the surface you shouldn't ever notice how they are just stitching a big texture onto a sphere. Procedural tech my arse.

I find this particular criticism really weird, having spent several hours now flying around said spheres. Like, what is it that procedural tech should entail? Cutting corners in unnoticeable ways that improve performance is the very essence of game development so I guess I don't get why this would be bad. I can understand criticism of the mirroring, because that's just flat out lazy and looks awful. But level of detail culling is entirely normal so I don't get why people keep calling it out here.

The weirdest thing, to me, is the actual size of the moons. They're all really tiny, like just a few hundred km in size, and it seems like the only reason for that is that some moron decided to distinguish the game from Elite Dangerous by only having two flying speeds- quantum travel, and dogfighting speed. You have to fly around the planets at dogfighting speed where it takes literally 10-15 minutes to get anywhere, and if you use afterburners you'll run out of fuel in a couple of minutes. So instead they made all the moons super small but with earthlike atmosphere and gravity.The whole thing reeks of bad design decisions compounding each other.

Raskolnikov
Nov 25, 2003

The Titanic posted:

I was going to post a picture of a woman in heels and an apron in the kitchen, but was shocked and stunned to discover that actually appears to be some kind of a fetish, and swiftly chose to not do that or look further. :ohdear:

Can confirm it's a fetish. Men are scum.

Lack of Gravitas
Oct 11, 2012

Grimey Drawer

D_Smart posted:

It's amazing to me that though blocked, these guys have a bot account they use to monitor my feed, then respond to themselves. :shrug:

I agree, those guys just don't make a lick of sense

Lack of Gravitas
Oct 11, 2012

Grimey Drawer

Lack of Gravitas posted:

I agree, those guys just don't make a lick of sense

And then they have the nerve to call Derek the crazy one!

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Daztek posted:

Well, that didn't last long, CIG released a patch and FTR is firmly back in the Star Citizen camp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Xh4zTCa-8

He's a loving moron. But remember he DID say that he has a "condition" (he's a retarded moron) which prevents him from totally walking away. So yeah, this makes plenty of sense.

He's a loving moron. Just like the rest of them.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

It always boils down to women doesn’t it? Everything failing everywhere is because women. Stupid women. Don’t they have kitchens to clean and sandwiches to construct?

Nah, he doesn't actually mention women, he prefers to bitch about :females: and how they are destroying his games.

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:
Speaking of self owns:

Virtual Captain posted:

:toxx:
No 3.0 for regular backers in 2017 (Not some hollowed out "3.0" You need to be able to fly from Olistar to the surface, hidden or blatant loadscreen is fine; and drive generally around the whole thing. No invisible walls at CRYENGINE_MAP_WIDTH)

Please administer my punishment if CIG finishes inviting all regular backers. #WorthTheTwitchClips

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

FailureToReport posted:

I'm over it, that whole thing has bugged me since he started in screaming about his privacy, I proved my point, moving on with my life, got video games to play.

Bullshit. Once again you display your lack of sensibilities and the fact that you're a loving moron who can't fathom what reality is.

Go gently caress yourself.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Strangler 42
Jan 8, 2007

SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT

TheAgent posted:

3.0 does look my kind of griefing paradise, I'll give ya that

It is great when you can grief someone just by logging on to a server and tanking the frame rates

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Mangoose posted:

I've managed to enter an internet slapfight with a wayward soul and I just called bullshit on the netcode and server meshing and whatnot and now I'm asked to loving DEFEND it of all things and I'm a bit out of my depth on all the details. Can someone give me a short rundown on why it's dumb and won't work? Cryengine can't do it, right?

Ah, gently caress it... *stares into mirror*

Derek Smart, Derek Smart, Derek Smart

This is easy. Whenever you encounter such things, just begin your sentence with "...Derek Smart said". You will win by default because 1) they will all lose their loving minds, resulting in some major lols 2) you will get blocked

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Lack of Gravitas
Oct 11, 2012

Grimey Drawer

D_Smart posted:

He's a loving moron. But remember he DID say that he has a "condition" (he's a retarded moron) which prevents him from totally walking away. So yeah, this makes plenty of sense.

He's a loving moron. Just like the rest of them.

:allears:

Combat Theory
Jul 16, 2017

Daztek posted:

Well, that didn't last long, CIG released a patch and FTR is firmly back in the Star Citizen camp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Xh4zTCa-8

I watched the video from the beginning and didn't just listen to it. That moment when he switched to in game had me in tears.

:iceburn:


Also I can only imagine G0RFs face after he listened through most of it just to find out he wasn't actually playing SC

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

FailureToReport posted:

Yeah, I feel like a moron for asking now, I forgot I started out with that one, I should have put that further in. Bad Failure.

Yeah, that must be tough on a daily basis.

Go gently caress yourself.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


Sarsapariller posted:

The weirdest thing, to me, is the actual size of the moons. They're all really tiny, like just a few hundred km in size, and it seems like the only reason for that is that some moron decided to distinguish the game from Elite Dangerous by only having two flying speeds- quantum travel, and dogfighting speed.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Raskolnikov posted:

Can confirm it's a fetish. Men are scum.

Filthy scum should be the phrase to use.

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


FailureToReport posted:

got video games to play

what other games are you playing FTR? enough about the musty old antics of roberts and co

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





D_Smart posted:

He's a loving moron. But remember he DID say that he has a "condition" (he's a retarded moron) which prevents him from totally walking away. So yeah, this makes plenty of sense.

He's a loving moron. Just like the rest of them.

Adorable. Derek being so eager to drop tepid grandpa owns on a dude that he friendly-fires will never not be funny.

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


Beet Wagon posted:

Adorable. Derek being so eager to drop tepid grandpa owns on a dude that he friendly-fires will never not be funny.

RIP leonard skinley

SomethingJones
Mar 6, 2016

<3

Lethality towing the official new message of 'this is not a game it's a universe'

A universe with a big interactive shop and no game mechanics

AbstractNapper
Jun 5, 2011

I can help
So, is CIG still testing the waters with the PTU builds or are they officially reached their super deluxe with bells and whistles MVP so that ALL REFUNDS ARE DENIED, NO BACKSIES YOU UNGRATEFUL MONEY COWS.

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

D_Smart posted:




I wasn't home at the time I posted the previous response. So I was saving the best for last. As I was driving home, I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to say to you.

First, I want to thank the Heavenly Father for continuing to show you loving heathens that the only true religion is one that is led by divine order, not some clueless moron born of man.

Second, I would like to thank the Goon (on my Discord) who bought you a $10 account so you could step out of your safe space and into the real digital world where you have no powa.

Oh, FYI, Goons buy accounts for fresh meat all the time. Paying 10 bux doesn't make you a Goon. It makes you a dumb gently caress who got roped into posting at the one place where everyone eats their young, and for good measure, even the old ladies, during a slow week. See: MoMa

I am also happy that you were dumb (I told you to take your meds, right?) enough to post this regurgitated vomit that's devoid of any logic (yeah, yeah, I know, Shitizens are as dumb as a bag of strap-on dildos in the bargain bin at a strip mall; but I digress) - at all.




Here's the thing. You and your turd-brained poo poo gargling girlfriends, ARE the reason that we're here, and the reason that the entire community is polarized.

The fact that you - and your circle jerk buddies - are still singing this "Oh you!!" mantra, is testament to the fact that you're all a bunch of completely broken gently caress sticks, bereft of anything resembling decent human beings worthy of being in society, let alone among normal people.

If your excuse for behaving the way that you have for the past years is because one POSITIVELY INSANE, AUTISTIC & CRANKY OLD GAME DEV wrote a loving blog (like nobody ever did that before, you see), then it makes the most sense that you all continued to give money to a bona fide scam artist who has all but poo poo in an ice cooler and passed it around so that you all can get the experience of what the turd from the guy you all made a millionaire, smells like.

In July 2015, I wrote the infamous "July Blog". In it, I said the game as pitched couldn't be made because Chris Roberts had extended the scope beyond the capabilities of the tech, the team, and the money.

They responded (at the behest of Sandi Gardiner & Ben Lesnick, according to my sources) by lying about why they kicked out my account and refunded me.

We now know - without a doubt - that the only reason why a multi-millionaire corp, led by a hapless wannabe visionary who has busted every loving project/company he ever touched, would even bother to respond to what many at the time believed to be the rantings of a "jealous" developer, is if there was SOME fact to what was written.

I have spent almost THREE loving DECADES building massive and complex games in the genre. Every loving tech you could possibly think of putting in a space/planetary combat game, I've either developed, or prototyped. And there is NOTHING in Star Citizen that's remotely revolutionary, groundbreaking, or original. Sure, my games aren't popular, they're not blockbusters, and they don't cater to a large audience. But so loving what? Anyone who knows my history, knows that I never - ever - set out to do that, or I would have changed course. A group of people keep buying the games that I make, so I kept making them. Audience size and revenue are irrelevant if you can make enough money to pay your bills and develop the games you want to develop. That's what an indie is. That's who I am, always was, and always will be.

Heck, just for the sheer fun of it, I just spent two loving weeks working on and releasing (on Thanksgiving Day, no less) a patch for a game I loving released in 2008, and which sold less than 100 copies in the past quarter. Why? Because I loving can, and because for me, it's fun, and it's what I do. I don't need a financial incentive as the primary reason for making games.

You loving retards attacking me and my games, doesn't loving faze me one bit. It's certainly not going to make Star Citizen a better, let alone a released, game.



Unlike you single testicled nut jobs, I put my money where my mouth is by actually paying attorneys in order to seek accountability for myself and the backers.

And then, even as they over-played their hand, they took it one step further by accusing me of stalking and harassment, even though there was no basis in fact, let alone in law, for it. Once again, I paid attorneys to give Ortwin, the other part of the scam, the redress his incompetent rear end was dying for.

Then The Escapist ended up doing an article in which other sources pretty much confirmed everything that I had been saying. Again, Chris over-played his hand by writing a kindergarten level diatribe in which he mentioned me over 5 dozen times - despite the fact that I had NOTHING to do with The Escapist article (which didn't even mention me).

And during all this time, 2 of the 3 things (financial accounting, dev schedule, refunds for those who are) that I asked for in my 2015 legal action, and which CIG was fighting against, ended up happening anyway. Why? Because it was the right loving call, and I knew it from the start.

Aside from all that, I had said that without the tech, the team, the money (at least $150M, they couldn't possibly build the loving game. That was 2.5 loving years ago. So far, I made that claim at around $75M. It's now $165M and it's not even out of pre-Alpha. And all the experienced people have since left, leaving mostly incompetent yes-men who are either just pulling a pay check, or towing the line.



When in 2016 they ended up switching engines (I wrote a whole loving blog about why that was BAD, not good) - without saying a loving thing about it beforehand - I said it was a loving waste of time because there is NO ENGINE on the planet that could build THAT game, most of you degenerate latte-sipping drama junkies, continued to attack me, while trying to theory-craft your way off an iceberg - even as Chris Roberts and his gang of fuckups, continued to PROVE ME RIGHT.

I'm not even going to mention the fact that I said SQ42 wasn't coming out in 2016. Again, I got attacked. CIG went on the record that it was totally, definitely coming out - pledge moah.

Then it didn't.

And I said that twice (for 2016 and 2017) because that's what sources said.

Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, back in Q4/2016 when I said that sources told me 3.0 didn't loving exist when Chris said it did - again, I got incessantly attacked. I thought "Fine. gently caress 'em; they'll see soon enough". So I spent a whole loving year documenting The Road To 3.0 timeline because I knew that, as these things go, you dumb-rear end schoolyard bullies are keen on revisionist history.



At the height of the 3.0 frenzy, I again wrote that sources said the entire dev schedule unveiled in April 2017, was pure and utter bullshit, and didn't reflect the internal schedule. Again, you glue huffing pinheads attacked me. Then slowly and slowly, this turned out to be true; and to the extent that it wasn't even a month ago that items started disappearing from the schedule, even though they never even appeared (as fixed or otherwise) in the schedule. Now, with the latest, NONE of that is even in the schedule.

But wait! There's more!

Through this whole time, I kept writing that 3.0 wasn't even ready for Evocati, that sources said it needed at least 6 months, that any earlier release would be a loving disaster (which we are now witnessing), and that it was a ploy for the CitizenCon shindig etc. Ignoring the fact that it was over a month ago, it conveniently got released - ahead of a sale - with loving obvious bugs which were either 1) already reported or 2) not even logged, thus providing ample evidence that even the special needs Evocati coffee-mainlining turd heaps who kept pretending that everything was OK and covering for CIG, were busy stroking their yogurt encrusted boners, having been let into the sekret club, instead of playing the loving game and helping to fix it. Which, considering that it was a pile of unplayable poo poo (just as I'd written), makes sense because ain't nobody got time fo' dat.



As of today, the loving project is a dumpster fire, and is completely FUBAR. And we're not even talking about it being pre-Alpha; but the fact that 6 years + $165m later, they don't even have a loving CompSci project, let alone a vertical slice of EITHER game.

Any one of you boot-licking Trumpettes who would look at this loving schedule of promises, and think "Yeah, they're totally going to make that game" deserves to be fleeced of everything you have.

Since you are one of those broken-brained rear end-clowns, I have no loving reason to believe that you have fully divested yourself from the project, or you wouldn't be wishy-washy about it, let alone still making loving videos while acting all shocked as if you only just now discovered a dime size hole in your Strawberry flavored condom.

Like others who hide behind the confines of anonymity while taking potshots at people like me, somehow you think that we're just going to forget about all the poo poo that you peanut-basted fruitcakes have been doing this whole time. My one regret is that I wrote enough, with sufficient evidence, for you guys to get a refund. I would very much have liked for you all to go down with the ship in the impending final days that are now playing out.

Go gently caress yourself. You're all a bunch of...



ps: I found the evidence (1, 2) of your meltdown over the Amazon dev interview which I essentially killed. Again, unlike you guys, my version of reality is the real one.

pps: You are now on my block list as I have nothing further to say to you.

lol

Dogeh
Aug 30, 2017

ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%

fuctifino posted:

This is genuinely hilarious. FTR, you should focus on more things like this rather than slap-fighting with Derek.

:five:

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

AbstractNapper posted:

So, is CIG still testing the waters with the PTU builds or are they officially reached their super deluxe with bells and whistles MVP so that ALL REFUNDS ARE DENIED, NO BACKSIES YOU UNGRATEFUL MONEY COWS.

Unfortunately we won't know until our mod Beet plunks down 1K so he can stream the thing and ask for another refund.

Pantsbird
Nov 12, 2017

by Lowtax

SCtrumpHaters posted:

So we do need to talk however. Those of you who said CIG would be sunk if they released 3.0.

You are emphatically wrong.

Its been several days now that everyone has been able to sink their teeth into it. The response honestly couldn't be more positive. Positive threads, solid sale numbers, 2500 dollar fresh cash limited ships selling out instantly.

You were wrong and you need to be held accountable. At the very least temper your blind hate with a little more reason in the future.

This but unironically. Even though there's no game, we can't discount how finely crafted the marketing is. We shouldn't predict doom or ELE or whatever. It's just as disingenuous as CiG advertising base building, science ships and drink mixing. Let's be the scrupulous ones, and thankful for the opportunity to be :smug:

CiG kicked off with the naive notion of making a reasonably scoped video game, but expertly pivoted when better money-making opportunities presented themselves. The architects and mechanics of this achievement won't even be visible to us. We see the surface level of the PTU, Chris, the backers, the shills... but somewhere below there are probably one or two marketing people who really know what they're doing. The fact that they can make millions selling a jpg of a ship that will never be implemented shows how good they are.

While other companies are using scattershot methods of piling up microtransactions, these masterminds at CiG built an efficient machine for getting huge amounts of money from a laser-focused demographic. It's not as impressive if something broad like Minecraft or the latest first person shooter makes a bunch of money. It is impressive if you can convince a few thousand people to spend tens of thousands on goods that don't exist. They've made a slaughterhouse specifically for gullible 30-50 something space nerds, who pay for admission and do the cutting besides. Then respawn.

Granted, this pivot was probably gradual and no one person had a master plan, but they've succeeded where most others would have folded long ago. You could complain that it's dishonest, but lets face it, all companies bigger than a dozen people are purely about money.

I think it's ok to appreciate the cutthroat business prowess while mocking the mismanagement of the game. This could keep limping along for years. Even when the PTU/MMO/ships paradigm is exposed as vaporware, I trust they will morph into some other model that will continue to make money. If the backers can forgive a 4 years late BMM, they'll take much more. The funding will go down, but it's still going to be tons of income compared to other (more technically successful) projects. The space/sci-fi genre is still perfectly healthy. Successful sci-fi properties (Star Trek, Star Wars, etc) will continue grooming new suckers for CiG in perpetuity.

The only mistake was even wasting a penny on any game development at all. Great opportunities for graft were missed. But, I'm just talking about the success of the invisible marketing guys who're working on their job security (and maybe taking a little on the side); Chris and crew are still total idiots.



They are up to $3,700,000 for November, compared to $7,760,000 last year. :10bux:

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

alf_pogs posted:

RIP leonard skinley


f

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thatguy
Feb 5, 2003
What size are gang tags?

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