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Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014

Hello, Creature! Do You Despise Goat Hating Fascists? So Do We! Join Us at Paradise Lost!


Minivote: 1

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TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST

Slaan posted:

Can we get a doggy?
"I do not think a dog would do well with the pace we're traveling at and some of the places we will go. For right now, no."

Magnusth posted:

Has the Sejin every shown any religious tendencies or done any religious rituals? have anyone else in the villages we've traveled through?

The Sejin enjoys quiet meditation in the morning, while it is still dark, but you have not seen him do anything else you would consider to be of religious significance. He has some tattoos, but as far as you know those are not religious.

There are plenty of cults and religions you've been exposed to. Most of the villages to the south had small temples and shrines, to Eos, god of the Sun, and to Zeme godess of harvests. Other smaller shrines to saints and deities, too many to number. You have seen priests and religious festivals, although you have never attended one directly.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Are any of the monsters in your book edible? Could we make a career out of hunting and cooking monsters and selling monster meals to discerning gourmets?

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

Magnusth posted:

Minivote: 1

Lux Anima
Apr 17, 2016


Dinosaur Gum
Minivote: 7

(Whereas story 5 is the most thrilling to the young hero inside us, story 7 excites a growing mind that values logic, rarity, and sacrifice.)

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

C M

How do you fight such horrible monsters?

What is your favorite way to hunt?

Do you ever hunt bad people too?

How old are you?

Where do you learn how to violence at bad  things?

Can I have a pony?

Can the pony be made of Fire?

What made you decide to take care of me when you found me?

What's your favorite food?

Where are we going?

Why is it so cold here but warm back where I'm from?

Where do monsters come from?

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

JosephWongKS posted:

Are any of the monsters in your book edible? Could we make a career out of hunting and cooking monsters and selling monster meals to discerning gourmets?

Have you been playing battle chef brigade lately?

Question Time
Sep 12, 2010



1

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

Mexican Deathgasm posted:

CK

I hope that letter combination isn't an omen that some creepy dude is going to start masturbating.

:ninja: any creepy dude?

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


I am torn between 1 and 5

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST

JosephWongKS posted:

Are any of the monsters in your book edible? Could we make a career out of hunting and cooking monsters and selling monster meals to discerning gourmets?

"Some. Some are poisonous, others would not taste very good. I suspect you'd struggle to find a decent clientele, and that you might not be able to carry your creations very far without them spoiling. Could you try though? Certainly" the Sejin seems... bemused by this question


Blasphemaster posted:

How do you fight such horrible monsters?

"Carefully" he grins, as if he's the funniest person on earth, when you press him for a more detailed answer: "It depends. You pit your strength against their weakness, you're not going to be faster, stronger and smarter than every enemy, so you study them, find what their weakness is, and then strike at it. It is very rare that you want to take a monster head on, its an easy way to get killed"


Blasphemaster posted:

What is your favorite way to hunt?
"I prefer hunting where my prey doesn't see me coming and doesn't have time to react before things are over"

Blasphemaster posted:

Do you ever hunt bad people too?
"I try very hard not to hurt people. There have been times when I have had to become justice, because there was no other path, but I do not like it, and I do not do so lightly. Certainly never for coin."

Blasphemaster posted:

How old are you?
"Old. Old enough" no matter how you phrase the question you can't seem to get a number out of him.

Blasphemaster posted:

Where do you learn how to violence at bad things?
"Violence can be learned anywhere, the world tends towards it. I learned it from people much wiser than me, that taught me how to use my strength responsibly. Learning how to fight? You can do that anywhere. Learning how to fight responsibly, now that is the journey of a lifetime. Violence is not a tool to be used lightly, it can be the most sublime moment for a person or the basest degradation, depending on the cause they uphold."

Blasphemaster posted:

Can I have a pony?
"I'm afraid a pony wouldn't do very well in the winters up here, and we'd have to carry grain to feed it. When we go further south, if you still want a pony, we can talk"

Blasphemaster posted:

Can the pony be made of Fire?
"I don't think I've ever seen a merchant selling a pony made of fire." the Sejin seems very amused by this question.

Blasphemaster posted:

What made you decide to take care of me when you found me?
"You were hurt, there is a duty to people, to help them when they need it and no one else can. Once you were better, you were simply much too sweet to leave behind, Sundar" annoyingly he pinches your cheek as he says this last part.

Blasphemaster posted:

What's your favorite food?
"You know Sundar, I haven't given it that much thought. I suppose the best meal is a warm meal after a day of hard travel"

Blasphemaster posted:

Where are we going?
"Right now we're checking on a few things, then we're going to meet up with an old friend of mine, depending on what he tells me, we'll figure out where were going from there"


Blasphemaster posted:

Why is it so cold here but warm back where I'm from?
"The weather gets colder the further north you go, and if you go south enough, it gets warmer for a while, but then it starts to get colder. This part is actually colder that it should be, because the Ossuary makes things north of it colder."

Blasphemaster posted:

Where do monsters come from?

"Many many places. Some are the spawn of other bigger monsters. Some dwell in the deep recesses of the earth. Others come through from other worlds, where the Veil is thinner. Yet others are the results of humans doing things they shouldn't, or the remains of ancient civilizations"

Voting for everything but the mini-vote is closed

CH wins in a landslide

TheCog fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Dec 6, 2017

Faerunner
Dec 31, 2007
Minivote: 1

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
Death is coming for you, and you freeze. Time seems to slow down as you take in all the details of your impending doom. The crimson, glowing eyes, the fanged teeth bared in a horrifying grimace, the sounds of the beast stampeding forward, its massive, monstrous arms raised, ready to grab and tear. Your heart beats fast. You are unable to move a muscle, to utter a word. This is it. In a second, maybe two, the beast will be to you. You are not looking at the Sejin, you are looking at your impending doom, but you hear him shout something, and there's a small flash of blue to your right.



Something has hit you on the side. Hard. As you fly through the air, surprised that you don't feel a tremendous pain in your side, you see the Sejin, putting his leg down, and assuming a stance as the beast comes upon him. Did he... kick you out of the way? For a second your thoughts are interrupted as you smash into a tree



As you hit it, it caves backwards, branches flying everywhere as the trunk of the tree smashes into bits. It hurts, but it hurts a lot less than it has any right to. The monster has the Sejin by the arm. There's a loud *snap*, as the horror sends the Sejin *flying*, his arm looks... bad, its bleeding, and you can clearly see bone sitcking out from several places as it hangs at an unnatural angle. You can't make out his face from here, but he must be grimacing in pain as he flies through the air. He's going to smash into a tree. Fast. You have the certainty that he won't survive. You see his left arm, the unbroken one, tracing lines in the air, they leave behind a faint green glow, and then the Sejin smashes into the tree... but he doesn't smash, so much as bounce off it, like a rubber ball thrown against a wall. The tree itself shatters into a million splinters as the Sejin almost flies away from it. At a dizzying speed, faster than you would ever expect, you see the scimitar he always carries strapped to his back emerge from its sheath, drawn one handed. It is big. Bigger than it has any right to be given the size of its sheath, but you don't have time to dwell on this, as the Sejin somehow, with miraculous precision, dodges the grasping claws of the beast and lands on its back, an impact that causes its many jointed legs to buckle.

The blade swings in a lethal arc, a decapitating blow, but the beast is faster, it raises an arm, a chitinous, armored claw... there is an audible, mushy fleshy sound as the scimitar cuts clean through the arm, sending it flying, a spray of purple blood. The Sejin, in a blur of motion, draws back his blade, and PLUNGES it into the beasts chest. It lets out a terrible scream, as its chest EXPLODES outward, covering the ground in purple ichor. The monster stumbles for a second... and then falls.

The Sejin pulls his blade out of the beast's chest, and look towards you, his right arm, a mangled, bleeding mess hanging to his side. "STAY THERE" he shouts, as he turns north. You hear it then, coming from the trees, up the hill, a skittering, scuttling noise. More monsters? The sound is getting louder by the instant, they'll be upon you and the Sejin momentarily. You:


A.) Heed the Sejin's advice. Stay exactly where you are. Partially because this impact *should* have broken your legs, and you're not sure you want to test if they work.

B.) Stand up. Recover my staff, or find a big branch or something, and stand here looking as menacing as possible while trying not to quiver like a leaf.

C.) Run to the Sejin. He's hurt! He needs my help!

D.) Run to the Sejin. Whatever is about to happen, he can protect me!

E.) Curl up into a ball and weep. I am just a child, and this has been an orgy of terror and violence, and its only going to get worse.

F.) Write in.

TheCog fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Dec 6, 2017

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

TheCog posted:




"Many many places. Some are the spawn of other bigger monsters. Some dwell in the deep recesses of the earth. Others come through from other worlds, where the Veil is thinner. Yet others are the results of humans doing things they shouldn't, or the remains of ancient civilizations"

Voting for everything but the mini-vote is closed

CH wins in a landslide


Oh, I like this...

Edit: A -It's pretty goddamn easy to freeze, we've done it once already.

Cannon_Fodder fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Dec 6, 2017

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


We feel emBoldened, but we're not stupid. Absolutely pants-shittingly scared and probably silently crying, but we must be brave, like Sejin.

Hexenritter fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Dec 6, 2017

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


B

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you....
A

Faerunner
Dec 31, 2007
A

Oh crap, our mentor/friend/protector's arm is falling off already! Freezing like a deer in headlights sounds like a great plan!

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Aaaaaaaaaah!

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
A

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
A

Chatrapati
Nov 6, 2012
A
Hopefully the Sejin knows what he's doing.

Scrree
Jan 16, 2008

the history of all dead generations,
E

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

A

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014

Hello, Creature! Do You Despise Goat Hating Fascists? So Do We! Join Us at Paradise Lost!


B

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
You choose to remain where you are, as the Sejin turns north, where the skittering sound of dozens of legs is rapidly approaching. Maybe half a second later, you see the source of the sound



Three giant... beetles? They're massive, armored things, shorter than the spider monster the Sejin just eviscerated, but longer too. Their chitinous black exoskeleton looks harder than any armor you've ever seen, and their legs are covered in spikes. Their eyes glow a deep dark red, as they focus on the Sejin with insectile precision. Most of all, they're fast. Its taken them maybe a second to make it half way down the hill, they'll be upon the Sejin in another few seconds at most. You're too far away to hear what exactly the Sejin is saying, but from what noise the wind carries it sounds like he's... singing? He's planted the scimitar in the ground in front of him, and his free hand is tracing symbols in the air once again.

The Sejin is... floating. He's half an inch off the ground, and you can feel static electricity crackle in the air around you. The Sejin is glowing. A faint blue glow as electricity arcs across the air, wrapping his good arm in a current of lightning that coils around him like a snake. He lifts his hand, and points at the leading scarab.



A bolt of lightning shoots from his hand, arcing through the air. It hurts your eyes, and the leading scarab's head explodes in a shower of gore. Its legs keep propelling it forward for a second, before it stumbles, flipping head over heel and comes to a rolling stop. With lightning, comes thunder, and you hear it, almost at the same time the scarabs head is exploding, a loud *crack*, you reflexively clap your hands over your ears. The Sejin did not stop to appreciate his handiwork, as the first bolt was in the air, he was already turning to face the leftmost scarab, sending another arc of lightning directly at the beast. This one didn't impact in its head, instead hitting right where the head joined with armored carapace.

It hit like a hammer hitting a walnut, a giant jagged crack running through the chitinous exoskeleton, as the massive scarab cracked open, its innards covering the ground as it comes to a screeching halt. Even through your covered ears you can hear the second peal of thunder. The Sejin has already taken aim at the third scarab, now only feet away from him. The bolt arcs through the air, hitting the scarab on the upper part of its armored plate... and arcing off, leaving a scorch mark on the chitin, but not much else.

You are not sure what happens next. Your eyes hurt from the lightning. The beetle is about to ram into the Sejin at full speed, its grasping forward arms reaching for him as he lays a hand on his blade, drawing a quick symbol in the air, that flashes with a strange, dimly red light. The Sejin arcs the blade forward, taking a step in an impossibly foolish move. There is no way his strength can be greater than that of the charging beetle. But as he steps, you can feel a rush of wind, as if the Sejin were the center of a storm. The wind buffets you back, you are blinded, when you blink, and look again, the Sejin is still standing, still holding that pose, blade held forward, stepped towards the charging beast... but the beast is no longer there, instead, to either side of the Sejin there are two halves of the scarab, its green guts and ichor covering the ground around the Sejin.

The Sejin whips the blood off his blade, and sheathes it, before turning, and *running* towards you. With one arm he picks you up, bringing you close to his chest. He smells of sweat, and blood, and of sulfur. "Are you ok Sundar?" he half speaks, half whispers, holding you tighter than you think he has ever held you before.

What do you do/say?(write in, I'll add as options)

A.
B.

Magnusth posted:

Nod, break down crying, hug him, and don't let go.

C.

There Bias Two posted:

Why'd you shove me? I had that one!

D.

JosephWongKS posted:

"I'm hungry. Are those things tasty? Can we cook and eat them?"

E.

Blasphemaster posted:

OH GODS YOUR ARM! *barf*

TheCog fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Dec 7, 2017

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


Are you?

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014

Hello, Creature! Do You Despise Goat Hating Fascists? So Do We! Join Us at Paradise Lost!


Nod, break down crying, hug him, and don't let go.

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

Why'd you shove me? I had that one!

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

A + "Please teach me how to do...whatever that was!"

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

There Bias Two posted:

Why'd you shove me? I had that one!

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

Absolutely this. Is he overwhelmed with concern.

Dr Subterfuge
Aug 31, 2005

TIME TO ROC N' ROLL
A

Shogeton
Apr 26, 2007

"Little by little the old world crumbled, and not once did the king imagine that some of the pieces might fall on him"

A

Jackard
Oct 28, 2007

We Have A Bow And We Wish To Use It
B

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
"I'm hungry. Are those things tasty? Can we cook and eat them?"

Eryxias
Feb 17, 2011

Stay low.
A

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

OH GODS YOUR ARM! *barf*

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


JosephWongKS posted:

"I'm hungry. Are those things tasty? Can we cook and eat them?"

Did Slaan change his name?

Also A, that was awe-inspiring.

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Runa
Feb 13, 2011

A


So based on this, it seems the initial choices were:

1) Artificer

2) Witch

3) W A R M A G E

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