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Aesop Poprock posted:It's a really good thread
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Dec 5, 2017 11:46
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Rarity's becoming a Sherri mark reminds me of the crush I had on Sherri back when I was in high school 
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Dec 5, 2017 16:52
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Now that Savage is the Macho King, have we talked about the coronation yet? That is one of the best wrestling things. Sherri was the best. Be interested to see what you think about future events.
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Dec 5, 2017 17:17
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Everything about this project owns. 
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Dec 5, 2017 17:33
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Sydney Bottocks posted:Rarity's becoming a Sherri mark reminds me of the crush I had on Sherri back when I was in high school Hey don't wrap me up in that. I don't mix with crazy, yo
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Dec 5, 2017 17:35
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Rarity posted:Hey don't wrap me up in that. I don't mix with crazy, yo All's I'm saying is that your posts about discovering how awesome she was, are reminding me of my younger days and how I was entranced by her delightful craziness. I'm not ashamed to admit it 
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Dec 5, 2017 17:42
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Rarity posted:Bobby Heenan is surrounded by the Heenan Family and vows that one of them will win. The family is down to three members as the Brain Busters have departed in the last month. This is what happens when you forget the cranberry sauce. From now to forever I'm going to imagine Arn Anderson as the guy being sung about in "Christmas Wrapping." So on one hand, that cage match (which is indeed shockingly good) is the final blow-off to the Mega Powers angle, which is weird to think about. On the other hand, it's also the last we see of Zeus in WWF and now I can tell you the horrible truth about the bullet you dodged: the original plans for WrestleMania VI was Hogan vs. Zeus. Vince was really going to go even more all-in than he already had. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed. Anyway, I loved the ending to that cage match. Zeus came off as slightly stronger than Hogan throughout the feud and Hogan was able to squeak out a win at Summerslam by knocking Zeus out with a foreign object (which he had the moral right to do at that point). In the cage match, it's like he realized that, "Oh wait, this entire ring is surrounded by a foreign object," and went ham. Even if it was Zeus' last hurrah, Hogan still went so over-the-top on finishing him off that Zeus still had his mystique.
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Dec 5, 2017 17:56
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Jerusalem posted:Please keep posting these, I'm really enjoying reading them and it is bringing back a lot of fun memories. HEY! Stop trying to shut out Rarity. I demand to be able to read her posts! I'm going to have my entire block message you too!
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Dec 5, 2017 18:02
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Current-day Vince would have Hogan main event with Zeus from Wrestlemania 6 to 8, at least
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Dec 5, 2017 18:45
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Hockles posted:HEY! Stop trying to shut out Rarity. I demand to be able to read her posts! I'm going to have my entire block message you too! You're a true Rarimaniac, brother
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Dec 5, 2017 19:01
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I admit that I'm totally clueless about this whole "WWF being taken off PPV" thing here. Does Meltzer say anything about what was going on in this period?
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Dec 5, 2017 19:42
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I can't believe J-Ru cancelled PPV because Hogan went over Zeus like he did.
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Dec 5, 2017 22:14
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J-Ru bad, Rarity good.
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Dec 5, 2017 23:58
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WHAT'CHA GONNA DO J-RU I TELL YA WHAT'CHA GONNA DO BROTHER WHEN THE POWER OF THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD BACKED BY ALL THE RARIMANIACS IN THE THREAD DROP A MEASLY THREE KANE RATING ON YOU?
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Dec 6, 2017 00:03
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This is my favourite thread about wrestling around Brother
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Dec 6, 2017 00:05
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#CancelJRuNetwork
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Dec 6, 2017 00:11
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#DELETEJ-RU
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Dec 6, 2017 00:31
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rare Magic card l00k posted:#CancelJRuNetwork This just in, Billy Corgan has bought the J-Ru Network
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Dec 6, 2017 00:38
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I'm standing up for Rarity
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Dec 6, 2017 01:30
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Rarity posted:WHAT'CHA GONNA DO J-RU 
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Dec 6, 2017 02:33
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Sydney Bottocks posted:This just in, Billy Corgan has bought the J-Ru Network Well let's not make the man suffer he only cancelled PPV.
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Dec 6, 2017 05:29
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Sherri is the only manager who could have gone toe-to-toe with Macho Madness. Liz was great but she wasn't really big on Taking All The Cocaine and painting her face.
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Dec 6, 2017 05:48
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Jason Sextro posted:Sherri is the only manager who could have gone toe-to-toe with Macho Madness. Liz was great but she wasn't really big on Taking All The Cocaine and painting her face. I honestly don't even remember a single instance of Liz talking
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Dec 6, 2017 10:27
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Aesop Poprock posted:I honestly don't even remember a single instance of Liz talking How dare you. "Elizabeth, will you marry me?" "Ohhhh yeah!"
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Dec 6, 2017 10:42
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Defiance Industries posted:How dare you. Dude, spoilers 
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Dec 6, 2017 10:59
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I can't believe I almost got tricked into Tumbling.
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Dec 6, 2017 20:03
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Marmaduke! posted:I can't believe I almost got tricked into Tumbling. Sounds like you got swerved, jabroni 
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Dec 6, 2017 20:05
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Royal Rumble 1990: Running On A Treadmill, Going Nowhere What I Think I Know
 It's January 1990, little Rarity is getting a terrible haircut from her Mum and across the Atlantic the WWF are gearing up for their first PPV of the new decade, it's Royal Rumble 1990! Before we get things started Vince McMahon runs us through the line-up for the Rumble. There's no major surprises here although I am devastated to see the Widow Maker has been cut. I'm not impressed, Vince! You promised me widows would be made! As for the rest of the card I'm not going to lay it all out now but let's just say it's... uninspiring. SIGN OF THE NIGHT  I'm sure it's not as bad as Chyna's We are live from the Orlando Arena in Orlando, FL marking the WWF's first PPV venture down south. The latitude may have changed but the fans are as up for it as ever. Once again Tony Schiavone has usurped the play-by-play microphone with the full support of Jesse Ventura. Now this is normally the part of the show where I laugh at Jesse's clothes and wonder where the hell he bought them. Things are going to be a little bit different this time. This time I know exactly where he picked those up.  That's right, seeing as we're just a few blocks away from the House of Mouse our dear friend Jesse has gone out and picked up a ton of goodies. He's got a jumper of Mickey doing his best Miami Vice impression in a Hawaiian shirt and shades, he's also got a hat with Mickey ears and he completes the look with his own shades to match. He's a walking talking souvenir stand. Jesse says he even caught Mickey and Goofy trying to sneak in the back door. I didn't realise Mickey was friends with Zack Ryder! Jesse gives Schiavone his own Mickey baseball cap but Schiavone wisely decides he'll wear it later.  You really can't blame him The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w/ Jimmy Hart vs. The Bushwhackers Oh look, it's the exact same matchup that I saw at WM5. Nine months later and all these guys are running on the spot. But wait, not everything is identical. This time Jacques's got a beard! And I'm not talking about Raymond. It looks really good. You can tell we're entering the 90s now, people are starting to make smart hair choices. Meanwhile Jimmy is showing support for his boys by wearing a Quebec themed suit, which I find very snazzy. The Bushwhackers follow them out and they're reaching the point where they are super over. The whole crowd marches along with them as they come to the ring. I'm still struggling to see the appeal. Before things can get underway there's a whole lot of stalling to get through. The Bushwhackers rub each other's heads for good luck. This is not a euphemism. On the other side of the ring the Rougeaus share one of their manly hugs which draws huge heat from the crowd. Somewhere in the world a young Daniel Bryan sheds a tear. The action kicks into gear with an early sleeper hold on Butch from Raymond but Butch drops forward and drives his head into the turnbuckle. Butch is as hungry as ever and starts biting Raymond's butt and then turns around to bite the ref's butt. Oh hey, that's none other than 'Dangerous' Danny Davis! I guess that wrestling career didn't pan out so well.  This image of Danny being abused is included for posterity The Bushwhackers make an early attempt for the Battering Ram but Jacques rolls out of the ring. On commentary Jesse and Schiavone get into argument over whether biting is painful. Schiavone isn't really able to participate as he's never been bitten by a Bushwhacker, which must make him pretty much the only guy in the company who can say that. The Rougeaus spend an age stalling on the outside and when they get back in the ring Jacques offers Luke a free shot from behind. This move confuses Luke so much he freezes up until Raymond runs in and blasts him with a cheap shot. I'd congratulate the Rougeaus for this brilliant scheme but it's not like you need to wake up that early to outsmart the Bushwhackers. 9pm ought to do it. This tactic allows the Rougeaus to take the momentum. Raymond connects with a savate kick and even though Luke gets in some more biting he's fighting from behind now. Jacques comes in and hits a beautiful corkscrew elbow which adds a nice touch of flair. The Rougeaus follow up with a double necksnap that sends Luke's head flying back with some serious whiplash. Deciding that turnabout is fair play Jacques gets in some biting of his own. Mmm, tastes like vegemite.  Never stagedive with a two-man crowd Jacques slows the match down with an abdominal stretch and then goes for a splash but Luke brings up his knees. This brings in Butch with the hot tag and Jacques starts bumping around the ring like a madman. The Bushwhackers whip the Rougeaus into each other and make another try for the Battering Ram but Jimmy saves the day by grabbing hold of Luke's leg. Danny sees this blatant act of interference and chooses to ignore it. Aw, they're still bezzies from WM3. However the Bushwhackers aren't going to accept this kind of cheating lightly so they chase Jimmy down and set him up for a wishbone split. Luckily for Jimmy (and Jimmy's kids) the Rougeaus show up to make the save with a double dropkick. Raymond slaps on a Boston crab on Butch and Jacques goes to follow up but Luke trips him as he comes off the ropes. Raymond pulls Jacques up for another bro-hug but the Bushwhackers take them both out with the Battering Ram pick up the victory.  No, not the suit! Do what you want to Jimmy but don't hurt the suit! This match was a rather dull affair. It got more time than their WM5 outing but there wasn't that much extra on offer. As much as I love the Rougeaus they're starting to look a little formulaic in their ring work. I don't doubt that they've got more in the tank, the problem is they're not getting the opponents or the opportunity to show off more. I've already talked at length about how badly these two are being wasted but it's true. Since turning heel they've barely had anything to do and I don't think they've won a match. They are running in place. They're not doing anything, they're not achieving anything, they're just there. It makes for frustrating viewing. Addendum: After I finish writing up my reviews of each show I listen to OSWReview to get another viewpoint on the show. I never mention this cause I don't want my reviews to be written clean. However, I've just listened to the one for this show and I've found out that this is the last PPV appearance for the Rougeaus and I couldn't let that go without comment. Here are two guys who have been the unsung heroes of the WWF over the last few years. They're not the best in the ring but they're very solid and where they really shine is in their character work. They took this goofball whitebread heel gimmick and ran with it all the way to the end zone. Every show they've been entertaining and they never got given the credit they deserved. They're leaving a hole in the tag division that will not be easily filled. In many ways I think they were a decade ahead of their time. Imagine if these guys had been around in the Attitude Era where comedy heels where big and just think of what they could have done with the likes of Edge and Christian or the Hardyz. It is a shame but we'll always have the memories. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UUe1dA3DmA
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Dec 7, 2017 18:56
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The Widowmaker was very good wrestler Barry Windham in very much "Phoning it in and don't give a gently caress" mode, so...it's probably best you missed the Widowmaker
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Dec 7, 2017 19:35
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DeathChicken posted:The Widowmaker was very good wrestler Barry Windham in very much "Phoning it in and don't give a gently caress" mode, so...it's probably best you missed the Widowmaker Eh, Windham returns with another "Phoning it in and don't give a gently caress" WWF gimmick way down the line. It's only one PPV appearance but it's a very important match in the company's history. And don't worry, Rarity. The Rougeaus might be gone, but in time something much better and infinitely sillier will take their place.
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Dec 7, 2017 19:46
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I'm glad we got this far. This was my very first PPV and I recorded it on my VCR and it was great because even though my dad set everything up and left for the day, I pushed the buttons and I did it correctly! I was 10. I was a big Bushwhackers mark and I loved this match. Tghe Rougaeus were always bad in my book and I never appreciated them when I was a kid, so thank you for championing these awful French-Canadian pretend All American Boys. I can't wait for the upcoming matches as one in particular stands out in my mind as being especially great.
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Dec 7, 2017 20:07
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Nystral posted:I can't wait for the upcoming matches as one in particular stands out in my mind as being especially great. Oh man, I can't wait to destroy your childhood memories
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Dec 7, 2017 20:17
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DeathChicken posted:The Widowmaker was very good wrestler Barry Windham in very much "Phoning it in and don't give a gently caress" mode, so...it's probably best you missed the Widowmaker For a couple of years in the 80s, Barry Windham might have been a top five wrestler in the country. Amazing at his peak.
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Dec 7, 2017 20:53
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Yeah, but WWF Windham and Four Horsemen Windham might as well be different guys.
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Dec 7, 2017 21:07
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As a kid I hated the Rougeaus and loved seeing them get beat. When I got older I realized just how good they were, and it does suck that they seem to have fallen down the memory hole at least in terms of WWE where I don't think I've heard them mentioned or refered to at all in the last 20+ years.
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Dec 7, 2017 22:39
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Was it Raymond or Jacques that Hogan put over in his retirement match?
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Dec 7, 2017 22:47
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Jacques. Yes, the last match of his career has him pin Hulk Hogan clean in the middle. Register that one
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Dec 8, 2017 02:53
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In the back Zombie Mean Gene is catching up with Ted DiBiase and Virgil. He brings up last year where there was a “little chicanery” that led to DiBiase getting the #30 spot. However, this year none other than Jack Tunney himself has laid down extra security to ensure all number draws are fair and impartial. DiBiase is not pleased by this turn of events and calls it “Gestapoism”. He didn't even get to draw his own number, Virgil had to draw it. Zombie Mean Gene convinces DiBiase to share his number and is shocked to discover it's #1. Ahaha, get rekt Ted. But DiBiase's putting a brave face on it all the same, he sees this as an “opportuminy” and he's still going to win the whole to show the “nickle and dimers” how much better he is than us. Nice interview, it's always fun seeing the world poo poo on DiBiase. The Genius vs. Burtus Beefcake Oh huh, the Genius is going to be in a match. And here I figured he'd just keep hanging around on the sidelines with no real point or relevance. Of course, before we can get things started he's still got to regale us some poetry, this one targeting Burtus in particular. He says that Burtus is intellectually inferior but he wants to give the Genius an “aesthetic augmentation”. This was a fair improvement on his previous works, it even had proper rhyming!  He's staring into your soul Burtus walks out to a decent cheer and Schiavone says that he's never looked better. You shouldn't lie to us like that, Schiavone. God is always watching. Jesse sees Burtus's shredded ring attire and wonders if he's using his shears on his clothes. Jesse, are you really telling me you only just noticed this? He's been doing it for years now, mate. Schiavone suggests that Burtus's look is the fashion of the 90s but Jesse would rather stick with his Mickey ears. Don't worry Jesse, by plastering yourself in corporate branding you're definitely more on track here than Burtus. As the match kicks off Schiavone tries to hype up the Genius's chances by bringing up his win over Hulk Hogan. Wait, what? Excuse me a moment. List of Wrestlers In This Thread Who Haven't Beat Hulk Hogan
List of Wrestlers In This Thread Who Have Beat Hulk Hogan
The hell? Ok, I can't even do this so I'm moving on. The Genius tries to stall thing out at the start and shows off by doing a cartwheel on the outside. Somewhere in the world a young Charlotte Flair gets mad about gimmick infringement. Another thing I notice in these moments is that the Genius acts very effeminate in the way he moves around the ring. Like with the Rougeaus I don't like that he's playing on gay panic for heel heat but I have to give props for the subtlety of it. However, despite his attempts to keep away Burtus chases him down and... slaps him on the rear end. Oh come on, now you're not even pretending this isn't gay as hell! Burtus spreads the Genius's legs and brings strong force down on his backside. Get your mind out of the gutter guys, I'm talking about a reverse atomic drop. The Genius tries to come back with a dropkick in the corner but Burtus dodges and the Genius ends up getting his legs hung up on the ropes. Ooh, ouchy. And I must say that's quite a modern spot so nice work, Genius. Burtus continues this butt-based offence by crotching the Genius on the turnbuckle. MOST HOMOEROTIC MOMENT Tony Schiavone: “How much punishment can he take up top?” (I actually don't remember where in the show I sourced this quote from but I have to assume it was during this match) Feeling suitably turned on by all this foreplay Burtus heats things up by sticking the Genius's head between his legs although rather than sweet gay loving it ends with Burtus thrusting down on the back of the Genius's neck. The Genius replies with a dropkick and goes for a second rope axe handle only to get caught. Burtus goes for the Sleeper Hold and the Genius breaks free but in the ensuing scramble the ref takes a knock and goes flying all the way out of the ring. As ref bumps go I'd give that a solid 8.6.  You'd think the World's Smartest Man could calculate a trajectory such that he would not get hit With the ref down Burtus locks on the Sleeper Hold, causing the Genius to pass out. Burtus jumps up and down in celebration but the match is still going. There's no referee, you dumbass! Burtus decides that this is close enough to winning so he grabs his scissors and starts snipping away at the Genius's hair. Chicanery! Somebody warn Zombie Mean Gene! Oh well, at least it means the Genius won't have to spend so much on Pantene. Burtus keeps on cutting but before he can get too far Curt Hennig runs in to save his buddy. Oh. Oh no. Hennig hits the Perfectplex then he grabs a chair which he and the Genius use to lay in a beating on Burtus until the ref's scramble out to send them packing. No, I don't like the look of this at all. The original ref takes one look at this chaos and rules it a double DQ because gently caress if he's spending the time to sort out this mess. Jesse says that the Genius's new haircut “makes Gene Okerlund's hair look good”.  How dare you disparage Zombie Mean Gene, good sir! Until the clusterfuck of a finish this match was all right, certainly better than I expected. I was surprised to see the Genius in the ring and surprised to see he didn't suck balls. He actually had a couple of things going for him and I'd be interested in seeing him again which is way more than I thought I'd say. However, I'm really not down for this teased Hennig/Burtus feud. There's got to be something better for Hennig to do at Wrestlemania, surely? Cause I don't see a match between these two having much going for it.
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Dec 9, 2017 09:13
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Hey, Andre totally beat Hogan. On a weird count where he may or may not have kicked out first (look at Hogan, doing this poo poo a decade or so before Starcade), but Andre pinned Hogan to kick off the whole Wrestlemania 4 debacle Genius meanwhile beat Hogan on a random Saturday Night's Main Event by countout when Hogan got occupied with Mr. Perfect. Not exactly a pinfall, but given how often Hogan lost and where Genius was on the totem pole, it was still pretty shocking DeathChicken fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Dec 9, 2017 |
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Dec 9, 2017 12:06
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Seeing the Zeus on the list made me think, "Surely he won in the movie to set up the big climax of Rip winning." Then I remembered the movie and just laughed. Hulk couldn't even lose as not himself to set up a more dramatic moment. What a fuckwad. "Lol, I could beat Zeus the whole time."
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Dec 9, 2017 14:50
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