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Apr 24, 2024 04:49
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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I find the buttsquash fairly humorous if perhaps a bit too ribald. Beets are fairly good too since they are a homophone for beats, which is a musical concept scarcely related to vegetables at all.
I think I should have to nominate the turnip, because if a writer ever wants to make produce seem ridiculous they would surely refer to a turnip. For instance someone might be a turnip farmer or arrive to town on a turnip truck ro serve their boss a roast turnip surprise. No one would ever laugh like that at a stolid potato.
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Dec 7, 2017 16:07
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- sockingtonsworth
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broccoli cauliflower smackdown
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Dec 7, 2017 16:23
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- CannonFodder
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Kumquat. It's a vegetable and a request. " Please come here and quat."
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Dec 7, 2017 16:44
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- free Trapt CD
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*~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*
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these are all good points, well-expressed, and i'm glad because they're all in the funniest vegetable megathread, where it is easy to compare and contrast vegetables, and internet explorer couldn't handle having all those tabs open before.
I find the buttsquash fairly humorous if perhaps a bit too ribald. Beets are fairly good too since they are a homophone for beats, which is a musical concept scarcely related to vegetables at all.
I, too, like the buttsquash, but don't you think it kinda makes a punchline in and of itself? like, you can't take it anywhere, because you've already cannonballed into the comedy pool when you open with 'buttsquash'. whereas beets - you've tapped a rich vein of comedy nutrients. "hey DJ, drop the beets already!" - it sounds like you're waiting for an exciting moment in the music, but in actuality you are the supervisor at the DJ's day job where he moves boxes of produce. it's like, "hey, hurry up! we've got other vegetables to move!" hilarious. and let's not even get into the other homonyms - beet cop, heartbeet.
I think I should have to nominate the turnip, because if a writer ever wants to make produce seem ridiculous they would surely refer to a turnip. For instance someone might be a turnip farmer or arrive to town on a turnip truck ro serve their boss a roast turnip surprise. No one would ever laugh like that at a stolid potato.
i think you're on to something with this turnip business. turnips are just plain good fun! they sound funny, look funny, and are funnily inconvenient to pack into a truck due to their odd shape. nobody ever heard of a 'potato surprise', and a 'turnip famine' is hilarious while a potato famine is something i can't mention at family reunions.
broccoli cauliflower smackdown
did you know that the patterns and shapes in broccoli are similar to those of complex and recursive mathematical figures such as fractals? that's because broccoli is the 'nerd' of the vegetable family. whenever i cook broccoli in water i imagine i am giving it a swirlie. one point for house cauliflower
good lord this isn't hard. it's the vegetable that sounds like "pee" and almost always manages to escape the bowl as you're trying to unshell it, not to mention brits like to eat it "mushy" which is an absurd way to want to eat anything yet somehow so very british
the thing about peas is that there's normally hundreds of them. you're unshelling them, and one flies out - hilarious! a second - hey, you should know better! a third - that's getting a little crazy. but it keeps happening! hours later, you're still at it, and nobody knows now whether they are laughing or crying. the brits may like them mushy, but imo the pea is the apex of the french school of tragicomedy. sadly this is byob, not 'cahiers du legumes'
Kumquat. It's a vegetable and a request. " Please come here and quat."
it's hilarious because of the misunderstandings. you're like "what's for dinner" and they're like "kumquat" and next holiday season you stop getting christmas cards.
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Dec 7, 2017 18:08
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- HotSoapyBeard
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I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Brussels sprouts are like miniature cabbages and they smell like farts.
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Dec 7, 2017 20:03
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- Robot Made of Meat
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rutabaga: this ain't your daddy's vegetable
Actually it is. None of the rest of us will eat the things.
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Dec 7, 2017 22:11
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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arugula: just try and say this without sounding like an old-timey car horn. it's impossible.
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Dec 7, 2017 23:05
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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do legumes count? 'chickpeas' (aka 'garbanzo beans') are pretty funny
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Dec 7, 2017 23:08
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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I yam what I yam!
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Dec 7, 2017 23:10
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- Scaly Haylie
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asparagus is good for prop comedy.
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Dec 8, 2017 00:26
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Sorrel is an undersued erb. It tastes lemony. Lemony leaves.
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Dec 8, 2017 00:30
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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pickles for dire times:
- pickled banana peel
- pickled dirt
- pickled cigarette butts
- pickled cereal box
- pickled pickle jar
The harvest so bad we had to make do on pickled brine.
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Dec 8, 2017 15:16
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- sockingtonsworth
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I’m imagining one of those cashier stations where the keys don’t have words only pictures and it’s just a bunch of pickle buttons
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Dec 8, 2017 21:33
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- sockingtonsworth
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and aren’t pickles a type of sea mammal?
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Dec 8, 2017 21:33
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- Gone Fashing
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KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
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so who won
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Dec 16, 2017 02:55
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- wearing a lampshade
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Frankly insane that zucchini isn't mentioned. The amount of times I've confused zucchini for cucumber warrants a hilarious Judd Apatow rom-com
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Dec 16, 2017 03:19
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- wearing a lampshade
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"this cucumber sandwich is amazing!"
"... Baby it's zucchini"
*Lovesong by the Cure starts playing while Steve Buscemi looks on from a zamboni he is driving straight into a garden the neighborhood oldperson owns"
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Dec 16, 2017 03:21
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- Gone Fashing
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KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
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confratulations tomato, the funniest vegetable
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Dec 16, 2017 03:42
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- Gone Fashing
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KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
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you did it tomato. we are proud of you. *all the fruits and vegetables and legumes come in with everything for a huge party*
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Dec 16, 2017 03:44
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- Robot Made of Meat
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confratulations tomato, the funniest vegetable
Look, there's NOTHING funny about tomatoes, got it?
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Dec 16, 2017 04:12
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- alnilam
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has it been mentioned that broccoli starts with "brah" which is ripe for references to undergarments and frat boys alike
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Dec 16, 2017 18:54
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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"Vegetable" doesn't mean anything. It's a social construction. Some things classified as "vegetables" are legumes, some are tubers, some are fruit, some are plants. This whole concept is insane. It's like trying to find out which is the funniest gender.
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Dec 16, 2017 19:26
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 24, 2024 04:49
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