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Welcome to Break Down That Gate! Here’s a Rules Primer and a handy guide for new players: The Unexpectable Horde! In BDTG, each of you takes the form of an individual member of the Horde. Everyone who applies WILL get to play. The horde has 114 members currently (as of this writing), which means plenty of potential slots for player characters. Should you happen to die, you can always hop back into a brand-new character - as long as there are members left in the horde to choose from! Character Creation For your first post, select a Name, a Portrait, a Skill, and a Mook to embody. Pick two Items then write a brief backstory for them. Name Short, single words, though soldiers often use common nouns as nicknames. Twelve letters max. Portrait Select a face from the image on page one of the thread, which is updated periodically. Skill A single thing you’re particularly good at (nothing magical, mind you). Using a Skill appropriately grants +10 to your roll - but cannot be used on consecutive turns. Mook Mooks are the faceless members of the Horde, and several of them have picked up skills, injuries and status effects along the way. When you start a new character, you can choose from a list of available mooks found in the spreadsheet linked here. Items Select any two (2) of the following: a +1 Armor or a +1 Weapon of your choosing, an item looted from the caravan, or an item looted from Agenou’s army. Players are limited to five Item cards maximum (excluding cosmetic items). Items and their cards can be found listed and pictured on the first page of the thread. If you so desire, you can request a custom +1 Armor or a custom +1 Weapon for your new character. HP Starts at 3/3 (or 2/2 if Crippled). Healing comes tough, so dedicated healers, cooks, and entertainers can make all the difference during rest periods. If you choose a mook who is low on health, you will still start at full health. The difference in HP will be taken from the other available mooks. Glory Starts at 0. Each turn you take an action, you gain +1 to your future action rolls. Glory can also be spent or traded during downtime to purchase Gear for yourself or to participate in Rituals that will improve the Horde as a whole. Glory vanishes upon character death. Backstory Keep this to two or three sentences at most; if you survive a while, you may get a chance to delve deeper, but the horde is your life now. Here’s a sample introductory post, just to help you get started: Name: Bog Portrait: A1 Skill: Bashing Mook: row 123 on the Glory Count page HP: 3/3 Glory: 0 -> 1 Item Claim: Hammer + 1 and a Tuned Shield. Backstory: Bog grew up in a swamp where he liked to bash rocks together until they made things like sparks and arrowheads. One day his father gave him a hammer and it all made sense. He signed up for the Army the very next day. Horde Votes Horde Votes are where the horde as a whole votes to do something as though this were a single character CYOA. It’ll be pretty obvious when this is the case, because it will be prefaced with the label “Horde Vote.” Strategic Votes Unlike Horde Votes, Strategic Votes allow each individual to decide what they want to do. Strategic Votes will present you with a list of options that you can pile onto, but you can also suggest your own. The Warlord will give you an assessment of your plan of action, then add it to the list. To be clear, you're not picking between the choices - you're dividing the Horde to address multiple issues. Vote for what you want your soldier to do, but try to sway people with arguments so they'll pile in with you. Along with your plans, roll for them. This isn't a vote - you're saying what you're doing. Whatever Mooks are left over will follow whatever seems to be creating a bandwagon. Conflict Resolution The Unexpectable Horde operates best by dividing itself to attack several objectives at once, with each player rolling their action to contribute. Objectives are given numbers that represent difficulty, showing how many d100s the Horde has to beat. Conflicts can be Open or [Closed] to indicate whether or not the Horde can just pile themselves onto the challenge to overwhelm it. Closed Conflicts are surrounded by brackets [like so]: EX: WIN THE PIE EATING CONTEST - Difficulty 50 63d100 vs 50d100 EX: CLIMB THE WALL - [Difficulty 5] Max of 5d100 vs 5d100 The Horde MIGHT take damage from failed Conflicts, but this will usually be indicated in advance, like so: EX: ATTACK THE CARAVAN - Difficulty 30 - Threat 20 36d100 vs 30d100 – on a loss, the lowest 20 rollers would receive 1hp damage. EX: DISTRACT THE ARCHERS - Difficulty 15 - Threat 15 - Damage 2 18d100 vs 15d100 – on a loss, the lowest 15 rollers would receive 2hp damage. EX: KILL SOMEONE IMPORTANT - [Difficulty 1+++++ Deadly] Max of 1d100 vs 1d100+5d10 – on a loss, the soldier would be instantly killed. Closed conflicts fill up on a first-come-first-serve basis, and often have a higher potential for danger. Downtime In between fights and particularly after victories, Downtime can be declared. When in downtime, Hordemembers can do a lot of things for their round's action, such as: A) helping the medics through using Healing, Entertainment, or Cooking skills to help the wounded, B) helping the cooks through Cooking, Hunting, or Foraging for food, C) doing something to interact with the environment for self-improvement, or D) doing something to help others or the army (Note: contributing help to another hordemember's project increases the chance of success!). In addition to rolling for one of the above actions, Hordemembers can also interact with each other, trade items or Glory, and buy things at Madga's Shop as free actions. During downtime, you can take a downtime action and then buy things from Magda's shop using the Glory you've just earned, all in the same post. Note: Skillcores "refresh" their cooldowns both before and after Downtime. This rule can be circumvented in the event of an Ambush, so don't let your guards down! Healing during Downtime Healing is a Conflict between the healers and the wounded - their combined roll is rolled against d100 rolls representing the wounded. A success heals each wounded by 1 HP - and each 100 over heals an additional HP. Healing can only be performed in downtime while making camp. In situations in which SOME healing is possible, you’ll be provided a Closed Conflict - only enough time or resources to partially fix the wounded! If the initial Conflict roll of the Healers versus the Wounded fails, the healers will attempt to heal only the most gravely wounded (those with 1 hp). The Horde currently has ten captured doctors in tow, meaning they automatically will have 10 Healers available to them during Downtime. Mooks and inactive players do not help out during downtime. Those dirty freeloaders! Cooking during Downtime Cooking is a Conflict between the cooks and the number of Rations they are preparing. Soldiers may choose to roll against any d100 amount of stored Rations in an attempt to prepare them. On a success, each Ration can be traded for one of these effects at the cook’s will:
Currently, the Unexpectable Horde has 5 rations. Conflict Rolls Most of the rolls that players will make will be Conflict rolls. Unless otherwise noted, Conflict rolls use 1d100+Glory+Skill(if applicable). Only one skill can be used per conflict roll. Combat Rolls Combat rolls are Conflict rolls that involve fighting the enemy. In addition to your Glory and Skill bonuses, you can also supply your weapon's bonuses to your Combat rolls. Armor bonuses are calculated automatically against the enemy's roll. Loot Rolls All Loot Rolls use a raw 1d100. Glory points and skill bonuses are NOT applied to loot rolls - this keeps things more balanced for new players. As a Free Looting Action, hordemembers can roll for any one available Skillcore at the time(s) they become available. Mooks will claim any available skillcores (and surplus items) that are not rolled for in such a way. If you have any further questions, go ahead and join the Discord to ask away! * * * * * * *     Name: Verika HP: 3/3 Skills: Accuracy (active), Perception Equipment: Fröman Cuirass (+1), Sharp Stick (+0), Shield Glory: 5 Ritual Chits: 26 -> 4 (artwork bonus) Fostis (Post-Battle, Part 2): When Verika returned from the forests hefting her bounty of dead critters in tow, she found the Unexpectables' camp to be veritably buzzing with activity. Magda had organized the Horde's huge haul after their resounding victory versus the forces of Agenou and his musical troupe of soldiers, and all the other members of the Horde were swarming around her tables looking for prizes and trophies. There had been so much looting going on in her absence, and so many skillcores that still needed harvesting besides, that Verika had a hard time trying to wrap her head around what to stake a claim on that she didn't already have. When she got to the front of the line at the item stockpile, Magda shooed her off. Apparently, in looting several quivers from the battlefield before her hunt Verika had already laid claim to an Arrow Flatpack without realizing it! No need to get greedy, Verika supposed. Besides, she already had enough singing arrows to last her for months! Nonetheless, she made sure to put her name down for an uncontested skillcore that seemed similar to the ones she already possessed: Keen Sight. Keen Sight would surely Resonate with her Perception and Accuracy cores! She was sure of it. Claiming the Keen Sight Skillcore: 1d100 17 When she wandered back into camp to check on the status of the meat she'd brought in for the cooks, she noticed that her Ritual Chit supply had gotten way out of hand. Where were these things accumulating from, anyway? She stuffed as many of them as she could in the receptacle for Monsterist's Enervating Brew. There - that should do it! Verika felt a light skip in her step as she bounded off towards the alluring smells of cooking meat. Verika places 22 Ritual Chits in the receptacle for Monsterist's Enervating Brew. Verika's Downtime Actions posted:Loot Roll: Looting a Quality Bow: 1d100 90 Lux Anima fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Dec 31, 2017 |
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Dec 8, 2017 22:31
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    Skills: Cross Stitching (using), Spinning (cooldown) (Poor decision making?) HP: 2/3 Glory: 2 Items: -Rolling Pin +1 -Tuned Shield -Starn's Arrow Flatpack After feeding the juvenile butterfly, Grani went over to Starn, who was in the area looking to tame the butterfly for his own. In particular, he was struggling to keep the Quiver from falling off his back due to all the things he was carrying around. She was sure it wouldn't be useful right now, but she could hold onto it for him. She liked being needed. "You look over-loaded there sonny! I'm not sure how you are able to handle all them things of yours without fallin' over, heheh! If you aren't using tjat arrow pack at the moment, Grani will be happy to hold onto them things for ya until you need them. I been hauling stuff all me life, so I ain't afraid of no heavy things!" she guffawed with a gap toothed grin. "Won't be no problem at all, you young buck you!" She hefted his quiver over her shoulder and wandered off. She had her own hat to work on. ------ Once she had left Starn to tame the butterfly and start work on his onager she added under her breath, "Maybe you might remember me in the future if I do. My kids certainly haven't..." ------ Grani was one of the last to the loot pile. There just wasn't that much left after the horde had dove right into it following the battle. Working with the wounded and befriending the butterfly had taken up too much time. Of what was left, she could only find a dented Tuning Shield and the Making Poor Decisions skillcore. Well, that skillcore is certainly apt. That was how she ended up familyless, penniless and friendless in the army, after all, right? ----- Having depressed herself, Grani went off to the vault to work on her hat. She needed to be alone right now. Picking up Tuning Shield Holding onto Starn's Quiver for him Rolling for Poor Decision Making: 1d100: 71 [1d100=71] Previous actions during downtime posted:Giving 2 glory to the battlefly
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Dec 8, 2017 23:39
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Players in control of the following characters: Dack, Bamboo, Ringo, Neebs, Beco, Gloff, Humbug, Börk, Portha, Gryph, Marra You may have already acted, but don't forget that you can also claim one of the following items for free(!) from Magda's stockpile this Downtime:
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Dec 8, 2017 23:58
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   Burnie Equipment: Froman Cuirass, Froman Sword, Tuned Shield Skill: Cooking, HP: 3/3 Glory: 1 In the frenzied aftermath, Burnie joined the horde in the flurry of looting and pillaging. Loot spinning skillcore: 1d100 13 _______________________________________________________________________________________ A few hours later, Burnie had grown bored His other hordemates had run off to follow their own plans and goals, but he'd never been much for that before now. Possessed with a sudden drive for self improvement, he stands up and looks around, ready to branch out and seize control of his own story! ... Right after he lit this one last fire. _______________________________________________________________________________________ Entranced as he watched the flames play merrily over the pile of wood, Burnie's reverie is interrupted by another of his hordemates slamming a overturned helmet filled with water and bandages over the fire. As the water with the bandages begins to boil, Burnie looked up and said, "...Of course. That's what... I mean, I meant to do that." Boiling water for medics: 1d100+10 91 Picked the shield from the loot, the armor from the stockpile, and the sword as a generous gift from Weregoat. D10 for a face please. Capfalcon fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Dec 9, 2017 |
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Dec 9, 2017 00:09
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Capfalcon posted:
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Dec 9, 2017 01:11
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Bowharp For Ringo it is! Some variety would be good for him. I don’t actually get how the drums work. Are you sacrificing your roll to replace someone else’s if yours is better?
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Dec 9, 2017 01:13
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  Skill: Sleuthing +20 (using) HP: 2/3 Glory: 9 ----> 10 Though he'd been working on the enemy Commander's body before Magda arrived to expertly show the way, Humbug stepped aside and let others claim Agenou's many skillcores. Those weren't what he'd been looking for, amidst the strange substances that the body seemed made of. Instead he doubled back and bent down by one of the fallen dance-fighters from earlier. Using the broken edge of a ruined Reedblade, he carefully extricated a skillcore from the woman who'd almost scored one final hit on him. He felt like she'd studied him carefully, stepped back and held her distance to get a good feel for her opponent before she struck her blow... and only his reflexes and the cuirass had made a difference. Presumably someone like her - ah, yes. There it was, drawn fort by the surgical know-how Nailed to him. Watching. A proper skillcore. Skillcore roll: Watching 1d100 48 She'd also carried an unmarred shield - her intended killing blow had left her overextended, and her defense had been to slow to meet the rock that hit her face and put her down. Hopefully the melodic-sounding metal would serve him better than it had her. ----> CLAIMING A TUNED SHIELD ----------------------- Humbug was still helping out looting and sorting on the battlefield when the dame he'd been keeping an eye out for walked past, and their eyes met. CourValant posted:-[ Fostis Outskirts]- Casually, as if he was just leaving to do something else, Humbug turned around, questions running through his head, and walked in a roundabout way towards the outskirts of the battlefield and the forest beyond. He wondered if it was a good idea, or an extremely bad one, to be meeting privately with Bamboo the Weaver. Whatever the battle had brought out in her, though, he felt like he needed to know. Apologies for the wait and the short post - I've been wrung dry by exams.
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Dec 9, 2017 02:03
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Drum seems pretty handy on a supporting character. Can it be used to boost someone inside a closed challenge from outside?
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Dec 9, 2017 02:10
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   Name: Snorkus Skills: Pigilante Justice (cooldown), Gazing (using) HP: 3/3 Glory: 1-> 2 Notes: Slinkellomas Immunity Snorkus swept away off the battlefield. No time to celebrate - a hero's job is never done. ...but on the way, he did dart into the crowd and make off with a couple of pieces of loot. A hero needs to be properly equipped, after all! Though hmm, this armor is lacking a bit of... dramatic accoutrements. Well, it'll do for now. In the meantime, perhaps some of that imposing commander's supplies could be scrounged together into a proper sowtility belt? Always be prepared, that's the number one rule. The others will likely be interested in the shiny and dangerous things - let them have their fun. Returning to self-imposed solitude as befits one of his ilk, he set up station concealed near the back tunnel he had heard mentioned before. Let the others celebrate and take their ease. Snorkus will always be watching their backs. Always. Actions:
Rolling for Rolling+25 Skillcore: 1d100 91 Scrounging up a Sowtility Belt from Agenou's possessions: 1d100 70 Gazing out the back tunnel to keep watch: 1d100+10+1 20 Podima fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Dec 9, 2017 |
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Dec 9, 2017 02:24
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For the current downtime you can do one of each:
■ Roll to loot a skillcore. ■ Roll to try to loot whatever you want. ■ Do a whatever as your downtime action.
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Dec 9, 2017 02:30
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Ah thanks! I'll edit looting into my post at some point then.
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Dec 9, 2017 02:34
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For those of you still deciding upon things to try and loot, the following items will go to mooks if they are left unclaimed:     Likewise the same applies to several skillcores that are available. The following skillcores are currently uncontested, and will go to mooks if they aren't rolled for: Sighing, Smashing, Dancing x6, Jumping x3, Timing, Kicking x4, Impatience, Fearlessness, Balance x2, Performing x5, Virtuoso, Sniping, Slamming, Flipping, Chucking poo poo, Yelling, Clowning, Oratory, and Climbing.
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Dec 9, 2017 05:39
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Prince of Space posted:Players in control of the following characters: I already got my free armour. Not from the stockpile, though - from a drummer who is...no longer with us. She wanted Marra to have it though, she was quite clear on that before she tragically perished under circumstances that do not merit further investigation. Also I think that there isn't a spare Timing skillcore going - there were three of us going for Angelou's, and two from mooks...so that last one is Marra's! 
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Dec 9, 2017 11:13
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Prince of Space posted:Players in control of the following characters: You can keep your filthy lucre, you savages.
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Dec 9, 2017 13:30
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Half-wit posted:You can keep your filthy lucre, you savages. At the very least get a drum so you can drum up some sales.
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Dec 9, 2017 13:39
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   Name: Hat Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15) HP: 3/3 Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Tuned Shield, Sikatris Scarf Glory: 24 Ritual Glory: 1 -> 0 The battle was over. The Unexpectables were triumphant once again. Hat stood in the middle of the battlefield a while, leaning on her bloodied spear, catching her breath. She saw Grimper blast Agenou's face off with the stump of his right arm, which was flippin' awesome. And she'd survived the conflict with only some superficial cuts, a marked improvement on the previous Wendigo fight. She watched the Horde scatter over the battlefield; the looting had begun, and there were some rich pickings to be found amongst the carnage they'd wrought just minutes earlier. Hat saw a shield lying under the body of one unfortunate Drummer. Shields were generally quite fragile things, in Hat's experience; one that had come through a battle still intact must have more durability than the other kinds. Taking one Tuned Shield as my free loot. As she bent down for the shield, Hat started to cough again. More pink smoke? She had been coughing up the tell-tale sign of Skillcore Resonation during the battle; had she managed to get both her cores to improve in the space of one day? What were the odds? There were some theories that intense stress was a catalyst for the internal improvements, and the OhGees know the battlefield is a very stressful place to be! Once the coughing fit had passed, Hat continued to scour the battlefield. Noostra was surely the Horde's next step. The uniforms of the String-Slayers looked a bit more durable than the regular (Fröan) issue armour she was currently wearing, and the grays might help her blend into a city background if things went wrong. Hat went through the remains of the defeated army, looking for a String-Slayer corpse the same size as her, with undamaged armour. Looting for String-Slayer Armour: 1d100 51 Hat had just finished stripping a corpse when Vist approached, explaining her desire for a helmet made from Agenou's old one. She had gathered quite a squad - Gloff was preparing a fire to soften the metal, and Noggins and Gabber were already hard at work on a new hat block! Hat gladly joined the small taskforce Vist had set up, and appraised the raw material. The helmet was a thing of beauty, but far too large for the average Töan. In fact, there was quite a lot of metal here - if the former Commander was three times the size of regular people, could the metal stretch as far as making three new helmets for the Horde? Hat reached into her hat-making bag, and grabbed the hammer. Assisting Vist et al. with helmet manufacture: 1d100+24+15 132  Taking a quick break while more of the metal was being heated, Hat stopped by the bustling hive of activity that was Magda's wagon post battle, and dropped a coin of Glory into the jar for the Luck's Fickle Gaze ritual. This was where Splut found her, requesting assistance on fixing the obvious scars his suit had taken. "That's a fine suit, Splut," she said, "and I'd love to help, though I should point out things worn below the hairline aren't really my speciality, and I'm in the middle of something for Vist. But I promise, as soon as I'm done with those helmets, I'll find you and we'll see what we can do. Is that OK?"
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Dec 9, 2017 19:03
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       Name: Stårn Additional skills: Butterfly Beastmaster HP: 3 Glory: 25 -> 26 (for attacking Agenou) -> 27 -> 26 (due to feeding Butterfly) Stårn blinked a few times, brought back from his siege-related stupor as Gränï showed up and offered to carry his missiles (really just good looking rocks, even if Stårn would insist otherwise), apparently just for the sake of getting close to the Cobaltwing. "All sacrifices for the betterment of Sieging are greatly appreciated", he nevertheless enthused as the old woman doted on the creature, after which she wandered off somewhere else. Stårn furrowed his brow a bit at this, since it seemed rather dangerous. But who was he to judge the doing of others? People often failed to appreciate his passion for Sieging too after all (why, even the Warlord yelled at him once because of that, the nerve), and Stårn was certainly no hypocrite. Thus, he merely shrugged and yelled a singular "Take care!" after the lady. Then he returned back to his Önäger. Well, mostly his Önäger. Now that Gränï had taken the effort to go feed it, Stårn noted that the creature seemed to be rather popular among the Horde. Awfully kind of them to take care of it. Maybe he should return the favor sometime? Nevertheless, as the Horde's chief butterfly specialist, it would be rather unseemly for him to not contribute here. So he did, rummaging his pockets for butterfly treats that he had come across his adventures with the Unexpectables, and lugging them towards the beast. He eyed it as it feasted, wondering how large it would eventually grow Why, a butterfly large enough for sustained flight, and strong enough to carry cargo? The Sieging potential right there was enormous! Feeding 1 Glory to the Cobaltwing Former action taken this round posted:Taking the Arrow Flatpack as my free item
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Dec 9, 2017 20:43
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I spent way too long working on this to not post it.
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Dec 9, 2017 20:46
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  HP:3 Glory:26 Lying Ritual Glory:0>1>0 He gave a small nod to Hat, before fishing in his pockets for another piece of Ritual Glory and putting it in the Cobaltwing's pile. "No, that's fair enough. I'll see if I can scrounge up something in the mean time, no need to make long term promises over this." He headed out, looking to see if he could Loot something to help with Project MAXIMUM DAPPER. Looting to try and find things to enhance Project MAXIMUM DAPPER : 71
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Dec 9, 2017 20:59
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Lone Goat posted:I spent way too long working on this to not post it. no you did good, this is fantastic
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Dec 9, 2017 20:59
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Mithross posted:
Will Patsy be Baking for an effect this downtime or will Verika be conserving the Horde's Rations all on her own?
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Dec 9, 2017 21:27
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Prince of Space posted:Will Patsy be Baking for an effect this downtime or will Verika be conserving the Horde's Rations all on her own? Pasty is baking, I just haven't had time to do a downtime post yet
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Dec 9, 2017 21:34
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 Name: Gloff Skills:Lifting+(using), Swimming, Smithing(using) HP: 1 Glory: 14 Gloff is steadily pounding away at the project when he is approached. The Lord of Hats posted:"Hey Gloff! Catch--haha, no, I'm not going to throw a sword at you. Here. It's... well, seeing what else is out there, it's kind of a piece of junk. But it worked for me, and if anyone can turn it into a weapon worth using, it's you. Take good care of it. Or, don't, I suppose. It's yours to do what you want with." "It will serve. My thanks, Noggins." He put it to the side for the moment. There would be time to inspect it properly later. Barely had he turned back to his work before he was approached yet again. Yvonmukluk posted:She tracked down Gloff's makeshift forge. Paused, and put on her best 'concilitory' face before entering. 'Gloff, I'm hear with some terrible news! Bully told me that if anything were to happen to him, you were to get all of his things - 'a just reward for my most faithful comrade', he said. Well, I think somebody stole his scarf! His body's not even cool yet, and they're picking over it like a bunch of vultures! And I know Gigs was using his swordcane, but he didn't give it back! Can you believe some people? Gloff restrains himself, putting the hammer down instead of lashing out with it. He had respected Bully, and appreciated his impromptu testament. "Thank you for telling me, Marra. I will inquire about it later. I do not resent Gigs for taking a weapon mid-battle, he still has time to decide what to do. The scarf, we shall see. Now please, I need to focus on this." Putting his upset into his hammering, he went back to work. Gloff will absolutely believe it, but will hold off any rash action. Free loot choice: a shield. Trying to loot: the scarf for later trade. It should be easy to lift from wherever it is. Really hope it is: 1d100+15 30
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Dec 10, 2017 00:51
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  Name: Patsy Skill: Baking Skillcores: Regeneration HP: 2 Self-Esteem: 2 Glory: 8 Patsy was... almost happy, for the first time in a long time. The Unexpectables had won a battle stacked heavily against them, had taken down a commander, opened a vault... they were riding high. And Patsy had almost redeemed himself. Now to do something spectacular, something to help everyone celebrate a major victory, let off steam, and establish Patsy as an actual effective food source again. Also hopefully something that wouldn't hurt quite so much if someone threw it at him again... It was time to bake a cake shaped like a dead guy! Baking a big rear end cake of dead Agenou to celebrate: (cooking to preserve rations) 1d100+18= 90
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Dec 10, 2017 09:06
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Once upon a time there was a little green Tö named Patsy. He was a member of the horde known as the Unexpectables. One morning as they were busily looting an enemy army, Patsy found a dead enemy commander. "Look!" he said. "See what I have found. Who will help me make a cake shaped like this dead enemy commander?” "Not I," said Gado. "I must dig a hole." "Not I," said Humbug. "I have to solve a crime." “Not I,” said Snödis. “I need to turn more Töans into Wendigos.” "Very well, I will then," said Patsy, and he got started. "Who will help me grind wheat into dough?" Patsy asked. "Not I," said Somnö, "I am far too sleepy." "Not I," said Trinh, "My claws can't grip a mortar and pestle." "Not I," said Portha, "I need to clean up this battlefield. "Fine, then I will do it myself," said Patsy, and so he did. When the wheat had all been ground, Patsy asked, "Who will help me mix this dough?" "Not I," said Börk, "There are ladies I need to sexually assault." "Not I," said Sucy, "My mushrooms need watering." "..." said Gabber, "..." "Very well, then I will do it myself," said Patsy, and so he did. After a while the dough began to grow cold and hard. One day Patsy asked: "Who will help me to knead this dough?” "Not I," said Vist. "I need to make myself some HUGE armor." “Not I", said Hat. "My hands were made for sewing, not kneading.” “Not. I.” said Bamboo. “Must. Help. FAMILY!” "Very well, I will then", said Patsy, and he did. After the dough was soft and malleable, it needed to be rolled. One day Patsy asked, "Who will help me roll this dough?" "Not I," said Gloff, "I have many metal things to make." "Not I," said Grumbus, "I would just infect the cake with some sort of disease." "Not I," said Gryph, "There are injured comrades who need my help." "Very well, I will do it then," said Patsy, and he did. After a while, the dough was ready to be shaped. "What fine dough we have," said the members of the horde. “Yes, indeed, it is time to shape it," said Patsy. “Who will help me shape this dough?” "Not I,” said Splut, “I am far too important to shape dough.” "Not I,” said Stårn, “I have sieging to do.” “Not I,” said Snorkus, “A hero has no time to waste on food.” "Very well, then I will", said Patsy, and he did. He shaped the dough until it looked like the enemy commander, and then he carefully placed it upon a baking sheet. Then he called to the horde and he asked, "Now, who will help me bake this cake?" "Not I,” said Grani, “I’m far too old to bake cakes.” "Not I,” said Verika, “I must turn in all my ritual glory.” “Not I,” said Hob, “My bees need tending.” "Very well, then", said Patsy, "I will bake it myself". So Patsy placed the massive cake in the oven all by himself, and a few hours later he had a cake that had risen to incredible proportions, and looked just like the enemy commander. "Now, who is going to help me decorate this cake?" asked Patsy. "Not I,” said Noggins, “I have a squad to lead.” "N̕o͡t I͢,” said Qwag, “T͠h͏ere ̡is̵ ̛t̶òo̶ muçh̸ ͡r̶i͡s͡k ̶inh̸er̷en҉t ̸i̴n starting ̧i͞n̨d̴ơoŗ firȩs.” “Not I," said Pythag, “That cake is much too scary.” "I will, then," said Patsy, and he did. Soon the cake was ready to eat. "Now, who is going to help me eat this cake?" asked Patsy? “I WILL!” said the rest of the horde. "Oh, no, you won't", said Patsy. "I am going to eat it myself". Then he called the juvenile cobaltwing and Grimper over, and they ate the whole cake. Not a crumb was left for the other members of the horde. I'm so sorry if I missed you. There are too many people in this goddamn thread
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Dec 10, 2017 20:07
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Nice nice 
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Dec 10, 2017 20:16
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gowb posted:"Not I,” said Splut, “I am far too important to shape dough.” He was lying, as he forgot to deactivate his skillcores when trying to volunteer.  You'd better get some Ritual Glory for that!
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Dec 10, 2017 22:42
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Mithross posted:It was time to bake a cake shaped like a dead guy! gowb posted:"Oh, no, you won't", said Patsy. "I am going to eat it myself". 
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Dec 10, 2017 22:46
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This is wonderful, bravo This is also wonderful, I love it.
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Dec 10, 2017 23:04
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Dec 10, 2017 23:51
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That's amazing, I don't mind that you missed me.
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Dec 11, 2017 08:32
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    Name: Bamboo HP: 1/3 Glory: 24 + 1 (Downtime Glory) + 1 (Agenou Bonus Glory) > 26 Skill: Basket Weaving (Resonated LVL 1: +15) [READY] Prince of Space posted:Players in control of the following characters: OOC: As always, appreciate the heads-up! Jvie posted:For the current downtime you can do one of each: OOC: Cool, thanks for the list! Scribbleykins posted:Apologies for the wait and the short post - I've been wrung dry by exams. OOC: No worries, hope exams went well! -[ Fostis Outskirts]- Bamboo leaned almost lazily against a tree as Humbug approached. She made sure that she was easily observable. In her hands she held a leather pouch. "Ah, Detective, thank you for accepting my invitation. Believe me, I understand your hesitation; I haven't been the most stable or welcoming of souls lately. Before we begin, do allow me to offer my appreciation for your courtesy, and your kindness. Of all our fellow Hordlings, you have been the only one who has tried to reach out, to break through. For that, you have my trust, my gratitude, and if you so desire it, my friendship. Now, as for why you're here; have you by chance ever heard of The Queen's Pawn? No, of course not. We were, and still are, in service to the Queen as her eyes and ears. We were whatever she needed us to be; thieves, assassins, drunkards and traitors. Even the occasional Basket Weaver. They were my Family. I don't remember a life before they took me in, when I was just a homeless street rat. And as far as I know, they all died that Night in the Palace. Yes, the Queen was undone by betrayal, and, she was not the only one who fell when the walls came down. We, who swore to protect her from lies, plots and secrets, had failed. I don't remember much from that night to when we broke down that first gate as a horde; to be honest, much of what has happened between then and now still remains hazy. What I do recall was blood. Unending rivers of it. Which, brings us to now. I aim to reconstitute The Queen's Pawn; no matter how this war ends, thieves, assassins, drunkards and traitors loyal to the Crown will be needed. Humbug, your sleuthing skills have served you well, and your expertise in such matters will be invaluable in the time to come. For now, I don't have anything to offer you beyond this information, and, this pouch of meager valuables, make of it what you will. Consider both as a token of my thanks. Think on what I have said, perhaps you'd be interested in discussing this further at a later time." Bamboo offers Humbug her 'Valuables' Card (Barter +25). CourValant fucked around with this message at 10:23 on Dec 11, 2017 |
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Dec 11, 2017 08:44
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Lone Goat posted:Looking to loot Okay looking at the spreadsheet, and the rules changes, I want to clarify my actions. My second action is to help Vist craft the 1 huge + 3 regular armour sets. The shoulderpads bit was just fluff and to continue my alliteration action gimmick. Take the +20 BIGNESS from the looting action and apply it to that since it can't be used for the loot roll. So, it should end up being: Somnö Looking to loot Assertively Assist Vist in Armour Assembly:1d100+20= Thanks!
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Dec 11, 2017 12:44
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Last minute change to my action. Instead of using it to try and capture an enemy soldier to feed to the device, I'll try catching Flitter to use in it instead. Better than having the enemy capture her and learning how bad Grimper was after the battle.
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Dec 11, 2017 13:23
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 Name: Gigs Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10) HP: 3 Glory: 21 Well. That worked. Alright. Taking what tufts remain of Agenou's once-fantabulous mustache, Gigs takes a minute to clean both blades before sheathing them. Mustaches to ashes, dust to dust. His sword at this side, he examines Bully's cane, holding it as he might a telescope. Now that the battle was over, this technically qualified as loot, spoils. He could probably keep it if he wanted. Helicopter his way into the hearts of more unsuspecting enemy commanders, whatever that meant. "Hmm..." Gigs had never been one for overt sentimentality. Glancing about the battlefield, he spied Gloff. Bully's good friend and soapbox-provider. Gigs had scarcely known Bully himself, but the tiny orator and the gentle giant had been known collaborators. Approaching Gloff, Gigs takes Bully's cane in both hands and, nodding reverently, offers it to the strongman. Returning to the loot pile, Gigs picks over a few items before settling on the arrow flatpack as his freebie, though he makes an attempt to salvage one of the bowharps as well (1d100 = 74). Pulling his things from the pile, Gigs suddenly spies Bully's oratory skillcore. Well now. A man of few words, Gigs nonetheless appreciated the power of a few well-chosen syllables, arranged efficiently, to spur the masses. Mulling it over, he decides to take the oratory skillcore (1d100 = 91).
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Dec 11, 2017 17:10
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Skill: Sleuthing +20 (using) HP: 2/3 Glory: 9 ----> 10 The sleuth accepted the bag of valuables, though still showing shock from Bamboo's revelations. His throat was dry, aching from where he'd been cut earlier, and he rubbed it absently while processing what he'd been told. He'd known Bamboo was dangerous, but he hadn't expected an open admission to having been part of a secret network low-life informants and cutthroats serving the Queen. More importantly, everything Bamboo was saying confirmed his suspicions that there had been more to the Queen's death. Much more. If what had happened in the halls of power had been big enough to entangle the Queen's Pawn it must have been a well-orchestrated event - or one hell of a mess. Unless Bamboo was lying... but why would she? The rudderless Pawn would have no cause, or reason, to lie to him that he knew of, and her motivations for wanting to speak to him seemed easy to understand. If she intended to rebuild this network of Pawns, with no Queen, its purpose was clearly tilting towards revenge. Perhaps revenge in the service of Tö, but revenge first and foremost, for the sake of her Family and the Queen that had elevated her out of the slums of the Capitol. With the weight of coins and jewelry heavy in his pocket, Humbug knew she expected him to do what he did best. Lucky for her that he had been chomping at that particular bit already. "I see," he said gravely, recovering some of his composure and taking off his hat to hold it against his chest in a gesture of sympathy. "I'm sorry for your losses, personal and national. I always respected Her Majesty's good works, and now I understand a little how she could be so informed on the going-ons of the high and low. Losing her was a tragedy for Tö and believe you me, I would like nothing more than to sniff out the truth of her passing. If you don't mind, hear me out just for a bit. I'm sure we both have things to do, and we shouldn't linger for too long, but given your generous contribution and your candor, I feel you are owed my perspective on the matter of the Queen's death." He put the hat safely back on his head, took out pencil and notebook and quickly jotted down a few thoughts and observations while they were fresh. The incomplete testimony by a formerly brain-damaged and still-amnesiac crown-sanctioned killer didn't bring him closer to answering the Big Question, the Whodunnit, per se... but Bamboo's story had given him a clearer picture of things. He frowned, staring off into empty space as he tried to work the angles. "For one, there was so much lacking in the details surrounding Reina's murder, when news went out. It bugged me. The follow-up, as well. "Poisoned by Frö", my cobalt rear end! How? With what? Where did the poisoner end up and where had they come from? No-one knew anything for sure except that Reina had died by Frö's design. Had the killer even been caught? I could not sit idly by, so I went to the Palace to offer my services as an able detective, to help straighten out this mess and catch the culpable. I didn't expect a hero's welcome, but the guards at the gates refused me surprisingly staunchly - 'it is being taken care of' was about all they offered. In fact, they halted all comers - even turning mourners and off-shift servants away - and were brusque and dismissive to a degree I considered strange. A shocking, unexpected event had just happened. People tend to be off-balance and somewhat willing to gossip in such situations, Bamboo. Yet those Tö were, much like our Fostisian 'friends', adamant to a point." He thumbed in the direction of Fostis and tapped his cuirass at the shoulder-region where they'd been Nailed for emphasis. He had his suspicions now, how someone might secure loyalties and silence, willing or not. "I'm no slouch, and I felt that something was off. I stuck around to see if I couldn't wheedle my way in past someone less strict or at least talk to anyone from the Palace staff who'd been inside - but not long afterwards I was snapped up by a passing patrol of the Watch and hauled in for 'loitering'. Tossed straight into the clinker, with barely a pass and a nod at the court. Shocking business, for a law-abiding citizen like myself. Thinking back, I think I may have seen you among the jailed. I can only speculate how you'd ended up there if you had been with the Queen earlier." Humbug nodded to himself, feeling a few pieces of the puzzle fall in place. It felt doubly satisfying to be able to construct a sensible narrative out of what had seemed like a rather arbitrary event. The Watch had been a haven for the incompetent and corrupt of late, but Humbug had refused to think of his old outfit as so fallen as to arrest him on trumped-up charges - and then get those charges to pass court without a by-your-leave - for no good reason. As it turned out, there was at least one motive in play beyond them being dickish at their ex-colleague. Likely orders had gone out to 'arrest anyone suspicious' hanging around the palace. Someone had been looking for idle Pawns still in play, and there was that dumbo Humbug, snooping around. The detective chewed on the end of his pencil, humming as he did. It was odd, though. Mere hours ago, Bamboo had been utterly mad and unapproachable. What had changed? What had triggered her memories' return? She'd been in battles already, and proven herself a capable killer. Maybe not a battle as bloody or lethal as this one had turned out, but-- A thought struck. "You say you remember nothing, Bamboo? Nothing but blood? A Vision of Red, perhaps?" She nodded, and the Sleuth blinked, almost cringed, as the thought bloomed into an idea. He sucked in his breath sharply and wrote down a few more conjectures. It'd explain her story, and then some. "Madmist. On its own it's bad enough, but there are... additives. It's possible - horrible, but possible - to create something worse from it. A Red Mist that-" Humbug suddenly looked a paler shade of blue than his usual as he realized he probably didn't want to go into details here. He swallowed, and cursed his dry throat - it felt like he was trying to drown in gravel. "Actually... let me put it this way. If Queen Reina, in her wisdom, caught wind of some plot and called on her most trusted servants, I think she'd find herself well-protected, no? Yet, if anything were to drive a palace-full of defenders and witnesses moot," Humbug paused, taking a deep breath, "then the Mist might fit the bill, as well as explain... your condition. Her would-be killers must have suspected or known she was on to them to go to such an extreme measure. Perhaps they panicked, or perhaps it had been their plan all along, but why fight a bunch of holed-up protectors when it risks death, failure and discovery? No. Easier to go for a simpler solution. If they wanted to poison the Queen and get away with it... they might as well gas the entire drat Palace." Humbug shook his head. He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Outrageous. Outrageous! There had been dozens of servants and guards and guests at any given point in the Royal Palace. If his hunch was true, then the Queen's killers were colder than the hoary hearts of the Old Guys, colder than Zapanda's clinical analysis or an entire legion of Inhabited. The detective looked at Bamboo, wondering to what lengths this one would go to have her revenge if she sussed out what he wouldn't say. The mere fact she was still alive... Humbug shuddered, then immediately carried on talking. "Now, the fact you're here and still alive means their plan was imperfect... or perhaps that I'm just plain wrong. Frankly, I hope I am. You might have been stung by an exotic, toxic butterfly, or struck over the head so hard your concussed and traumatized mind could not help but mend itself badly. Perhaps whatever was used against you wasn't as lethal as they'd hoped. Perhaps it was localized, used only in the Queen's quarters or the banquet hall, and you merely caught a whiff... I'm not left with a lot to work with here, sadly. The Mist is just the option that seems most likely. They've done well suppressing the truth, whatever it is, whoever they are. Especially given that the one living witness to it all has forgotten it, is in the middle of a war zone and is near bleeding out." Humbug gave Bamboo what he hoped was a concerned look, eyeing the stains in her pants-leg and grasping the lifeline this offered. "Speaking of, I think I've given you more than enough to think about. You should get yourself seen to. So should I, for that matter!" TLDR; Following the revelation of the Queen's Pawn, Humbug now has a radical new Theory on How Queen Reina Was Murdered - he thinks it's possible that she was killed by her own soldiers and retainers, maddened from exposure to a special modified blend of Madmist introduced in some way - probably through the Palace's ventilation system. Bamboo is possibly the sole survivor because she was good or lucky enough to kill every last living soul to cross her path while under its influence. Which may or may not have included the Beloved Queen. He's kind of hoping he's wrong on this one and he sure as hell isn't saying that last bit to Bamboo.
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Dec 12, 2017 09:00
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Vist posted:It was of incredible workmanship despite his casual tossing it around, and although much too big for her, Vist was optimistic that something could be salvaged from the pieces. Perhaps it could simply be cut down to its original shape? She stood sentinel over the helm as she surveyed the other remnants of the suit, using her knowledge of jousting and the Impact to locate seams that could be shorn, plates that could be salvaged, hinges that could be cut to fit. 
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Dec 12, 2017 09:20
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 New Horde MemberCharacter Creation Name : Pog the What Portrait : C2 Skill : Not being noticed (Unnoticeable if you need to save space) HP : 3/3 Glory : 1 Mook : Replacing Mook on row 111 Backstory : No one ever really took much notice of Pog. He never officially joined the horde, it's just that no one noticed he wasn't at home and when the horde rolled by no one noticed he wasn't supposed to be there and he got caught along for the ride. Pog will change this, mark his words he'll show you, he has a plan when everyone is watching he will....hey wait where are you going? Is no one even listening? Can anyone hear me? Equipment: Can he have a flag, something really gaudy and over the top in a doomed attempt to get people to notice him? If not I'll grab an iron bar and pretend he ties bits of rags to it. Question: Does Pog get to join in or does he wait until the next thing? Not that I'm even sure I know what I should be doing, I've read all Dog kissers posts and a few others.
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Dec 12, 2017 12:46
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Welcome to the Horde! Here's a link to the Discord. There's a New Player Guide available on the discord. But Basically: 1. Feel Free to join in! We've just hit a downtime, so there's a fair amount to do, be it cooking, healing or helping outwith repairs, possibly even some looting. 2. The big thing is that you get Two free items DogKissers latest post deals with one set, and you get a free weapon or armour on top of that. you can also roll for another skillcore!As for a flag, feel free to create a cosmetic item if you want to represent it! Again, welcome to the Horde! Try not to piss off Grimper, avoid making eye contact with Doc, don't believe anything Splut says and if Snodis asks you just say AAARRRGHNONONONONNOnononononowurgleburglesplut to becoming a Wendigo.
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Dec 12, 2017 13:10
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Pog The What [Blank Portrait] Skill: Not being Noticed +10 Glory: 1 -> 2 Free Claim: Iron Pole covered in colorful rags [Image not found] Bonus round free claim: Dancing Gear!  Pog hadn't actually contributed much to the events of the last day, not that anyone would have noticed anyway. But since he happened to be here and no one appeared to notice or care what he was doing he helped himself to some of the fanciest armor he could find. "This must help, loud and bright! People can't fail to ignore me now!". Pog donned the armor and continued to search for interesting things. Striding forward, full of pride and certain of the impact his armor would make Pog approached the pile of skillcores determined to demand the best one. He cleared his throat and began to speak. Sadly for Pog a careless horde member, carrying a rather large battering ram, turned too quickly and gave Pog a rather painful thwack against his back. Luckily the new armor absorbed most of the blow but while falling over something cold and crystalline grazed his lips. Pog tried to fight and stop it but it was too late. The force of his fall forced the skillcore down his throat. What was it? Who knows but it sure was stuck inside him now! "Typical" Pog sighed. +10 Actual claim for downtime - Skillcore sighing 1d100 = 96 Pog decided against any further attempts to shine today and went back to camp helping to prepare rations. No one thanked him Food Roll (Do I do this?) 1d100+2 = 102 Edit effect attempt - Additional half-roll for the 100 club (Sorry if this isn't the exact name) OOC - Holy poo poo dice rolls. Cast_No_Shadow fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Dec 12, 2017 |
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Dec 12, 2017 13:57
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