Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Loxbourne posted:

It's time for another effortpost! Loxbourne's Fireside Chats? Regardless, I've talked about the "Tenets of the Faithful" and I think we've gathered enough data by now to actually map those tenets out. I'm not suggesting a backer actually prays to these like genuine catechisms, but these are the fundamental beliefs of a heavily invested backer who we'd consider a "cultist". They're the scaffolding holding up the Dreams, and the Citizens' self-identities along with them. If you contradict one, by accident or design, the Citizen WILL respond and you will have an internet fight on your hands.

So then, The Tenets of the Cult of Christ Roberts and the Church of Latter-Day Star Citizens. The words carved on the golden pages of the Great Book of Dreams, whispered by everyone from Ben Lesnick on down:

Star Citizen is the BEST GAME EVER

Self-explanatory but also the tenet that needs the most proselytising and defending. Star Citizen is THE BEST and so it automatically gets associated in their minds with all the other BEST THINGS EVER (the theorycrafting, the dreams of massive battles, the org politics which every citizen expects to win, and so forth). A whole pile of weird citizen behaviour stems from the need to keep Star Citizen's reputation pristine - and in reality, to keep it on the pedestal in their minds. Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.

Enter the conspiracy theories about Big Publishing Sabotage, the furious projection of SC's problems onto other games, and so on. P2W? Delays? Boring missions? Even being in alpha for an alarmingly long time. You can tell exactly what the backers are worried about in Star Citizen at any given moment by reading what they're accusing Elite Dangerous and Line of Defence of doing.

Star Citizen backers are an elite who have recognised an Important Project and invested in it.

Important for tribalism and also for a sense of self-importance. Citizens are big important people. They're saving PC gaming, you know. That's why we see weird misuse of financial terminology (pledges are an "investment") that can even be contradicted in the same post ("CIG owes you NOTHING"). Needless to say, the "invester" stuff gets cited when a Citizen wants to feel powerful and the Might of CIG (ironclad TOS, "refunds are scams", etc) gets invoked when a Citizen feels another citizen is getting uppity.

Chris Roberts is a genius who surrounds himself with other geniuses. He and his circle must not be judged by the standards of ordinary mortals.

The cult of personality. You gotta have faith in the man himself. Cultists can see Star Citizen is a vastly ambitious game that would normally be impossible to make, they just tell themselves Chris can make it because he's a genius. A hero from their childhood. Losing faith in Chris's ability to make the game, or his benevolent attitude towards his followers, is repeatedly described on the refunds subreddit as the moment people decided to pull out.

This is the tenet that supports and partially fuels the LARP-like behaviour from CIG (of course Chris's ego supplies the rest). Chris and CIG's uncontested genius is essential to silencing any doubts that might form. CIG has the best people working round the clock on Star Citizen! Networking guy is a "networking God", Sandi is "the best marketer ever", and so forth. Any of their employees must be the Best Guys Ever At X. And it's entirely acceptable to spend huge sums of money to buy top talent, who are instantly promoted to being top talent just because they work at CIG.

A CIG staffer who doesn't act like Top Talent rankles with the faithful. This is why you'll sometimes see cultists furiously decry a leaver or even an indiscreet current employee as only a minor flunky. He's not acting right to fit the vision in their heads of CIG's Mighty Beings. Chris's and even Sandi's behaviour is acceptable to the cult because that's just how their idea of a rockstar game coder acts. It's what they'd do if they were him.

I will get to fly my spaceship and it will be glorious and awesome and just like my dreams.

"DON'T TOUCH THE SPACESHIPS". Self-explanatory and also ineeringly precise. The cultist's specific dreams are the ones that Star Citizen will conform with. How long do you think B'Tak would last even in the game most of his fellow backers want to play? A citizen knows their ships will be amazing and totally worth the "investment" and let them live out whatever space dreams they've brought to the table from their own lives, without interruption from awkward deaths or risk of running out of content. A Cultist will never be bad at his chosen profession especially if that profession is "space badass". That's what the faithless masses are for.

As pointed out already, CIG messes with this at their extreme peril. The Grey Market can be accepted under this tenet because "a ship is worth the investment", but if CIG suggest a ship might not be as good as the citizens thought? FIRE AND WOE.

The masses will admire the ships I pledged to back. They will wish they had one and weep tears of longing.

The Citizens must have better ships than everyone else. They paid, dammit (in money, time, and faith), they suffered the jeers and mockeries of the knowlessmen. The Cult's promised heaven is a place where a Citizen can gun down latecomers and have them gasp in awe at his amaaaazing ships that he was granted as just recompense for his faith in the project. It's his rightful reward.

Of course as discussed earlier, this demands the presence of huge numbers of second-class citizens who have to do the gasping and the weeping, condemned never to be as awesome as a proper Citizen. While they're at it, they need to walk around the space stations, make ineffectual pirate attacks, and never ever run in the corridors y'hear?

My dreams are important to CIG.

The theorycraft fuel. CIG is the best company and Star Citizen is the best game and it's going to be every good thing I ever dreamed of. The means by which CIG will design, implement, or even know of the Citizen's dreams are just a sacred mystery of the Cult.

Backers will hiss and snarl at CIG if this tenet is threatened, even though this seems contradictory to other tenets. If this comes under pressure, from CIG nailing down a mechanic or an ill-judged remark on a livestream, the cult get very angry and this morphs into a more threatening form: My dreams are shared by a silent majority who agree with me. CIG would be stupid to go against me and the secret army of backers who agree with me.

This creates one of the sadder cult beliefs - that CIG read the forums and monitor it for good ideas, so their theorycrafting will be recognised and put into the game. If one of the CIG leads said he never read Spectrum, there'd be an explosion within hours.

CIG will reward me for the faith I have shown. I rise in CIG's esteem by performing acts of faith.

This, this this this, is where a fundamental disconnect exists between CIG and its cult, and if the cult ever do rise up it will probably be because of a fracture that starts here. I could have phrased this as "CIG will reward me for buying more ships", but that's not actually how the fandom tell themselves the system works. Citizens believe they will catch CIG's eye and be rewarded for preaching, bringing in new backers (okay that worked for a while), posting praise on the subreddits, shouting down unbelievers, and owning goons/refunders/Derek with sick burns.

Except...you don't rise in the fandom by showing faith. Maybe you did once - citizens can remember the days of beer shipments and gift crates and shoutouts on Around The Verse. But that doesn't work anymore. CIG just expect you to turn up to be milked and get very indignant when you don't. You gain CIG's attention by Buying More Ships. CIG are veeeeery careful to cloak Buying More Ships as having faith in Star Citizen. They call it pledging, they constantly thank backers for their support, they dole out rewards like PTU access. Backers see streamers who stream because they're paid by CIG marketing, but they're told that the streamers do it out of sheer love of the game. But the fundamental thing that gets a cultist that sweet, sweet attention from the Divine is to buy the current ship on sale. New cash only please, no melting.

CIG can only push this so far. Backers are possessive and resent any suggestion that others might be rewarded if they haven't shown sufficient faith (and every backer is sure they've shown more faith then their neighbours). The anger around the Evocati centres on the way CIG created an inner circle whose members weren't considered worthy amongst the wider community. Worse, Evocati members describe a broken game even if they do so in effusive tones. They should be singing hymns of divine ecstacy.

===

I won't claim this maps out all the tenets. There's one or two around Derek I want to explore in a later post (particularly the idea that the Cult has an ideal of Derek and actually likes it when he acts in certain ways). And most of this stuff is an unspoken understanding between backers rather than things they discuss in public. I've mapped these out largely by taking note of what makes Citizens rage the hardest.

But if you're wondering why an innocuous comment about network performance has produced an absurdly disproportionate response from the Backer Hordes...well, he contradicted one of the unspoken truths of the Faith. That must be shouted down, must must must, before it echoes for too long in a Citizen's mind and he starts to ask himself forbidden questions.

An excellent post. The only thing I would add is a few lines dedicated to backer on backer action and the way of the refund (getting thrown out of the cult and all) really a great read loxbourne

E: cultist catte is watching you pledge

Combat Theory fucked around with this message at 22:25 on Dec 12, 2017

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:07

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

AP posted:

If we're honest for a second, in 2017 who can seriously put their hand on their heart and say these idiots don't deserve to get scammed?

I mean at this point anyone that finds the whole thing convincing obviously has serious mental issues. At what point do we completely try to shutoff Darwin, rather than let events play out?

man I don't ever want this poo poo to stop

this thread and the people in it, including you AP, have given me endless hours of chuckles, heart warming slice of life stories and cat pictures

your bug report posts have made me lol more than once

let them keep this tire fire burning forever

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:25

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

TheAgent posted:

Experience Required: Working with an out-of-touch 90s has been, propelled into nerddom by hilariously broken people. 24 to 36 months of continual crunch may be necessary. Anyone from Gazillion, Ion Storm or Lionhead should immediately respond.

Applicants must possess the following:

- Have a 1,000 yard stare
- Able to gain weight due to stress eating
- When appearing on camera, act like you don't give a flying gently caress how things are going

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:25

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Colostomy Bag posted:

Applicants must possess the following:

- Have a 1,000 yard stare
- Able to gain weight due to stress eating
- When appearing on camera, act like you don't give a flying gently caress how things are going

I should seriously submit a resume

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:26

juggalo baby coffin: Dec 2, 2007; How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?

[HELP] Wife's Son Spent My Citcoin on Chinese Research Chemicals

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:26

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

they broke game pad controls in the latest release

how can crobbo play his own game now

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:30

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Incitatus posted:

So at the animation studio, they don't have a lead or senior animator.

This is good for Star Citizen.

As long as Ol� Goldenhands can keep putting little white balls on actors and imagine himself directing a space opera, everything is fine.

Things that don�t matter:
- Quality of actor�s performance
- Quality/format/compatibility of mocap data
- Turning raw mocap data into working animations
- Making animations available in the game engine
- Gameplay that necessitates the animations
- Gameplay
- Game
- Moons

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:31

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Sheeiitt. He has no time to play when he is coding it. Now that I think about it, that explains a lot of things...

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:31

Phi230: Feb 2, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

AP posted:

If we're honest for a second, in 2017 who can seriously put their hand on their heart and say these idiots don't deserve to get scammed?

I mean at this point anyone that finds the whole thing convincing obviously has serious mental issues. At what point do we completely try to shutoff Darwin, rather than let events play out?

I just wanna see what happens when they realize it's over

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:33

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

Phi230 posted:

I just wanna see what happens when they realize it's over

They pitch even harder for the next thing, but now they *know* Goons are to blame.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:35

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

TheAgent posted:

Experience Required: Working with an out-of-touch 90s has been, propelled into nerddom by hilariously broken people. 24 to 36 months of continual crunch may be necessary. Anyone from Gazillion, Ion Storm or Lionhead should immediately respond.

Just yesterday I discovered that the guy who did the AI programming at Lionhead is the founder of the DeepMind company in Cambridge that got bought by Google

He did the AI for Black & White, and now they have a general purpose reinforced learning AI that can learn how to everything

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:35

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Phi230 posted:

I just wanna see what happens when they realize it's over

The robot nurse comes in to change their bedpan and fill up their dementia medication.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:35

juggalo baby coffin: Dec 2, 2007; How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?

crobbler sneaks in during the night and adds new spinlocks to the code

it would be funny if they added a bunch of spinlocks then just removed a couple now and then so they can claim their netcode optimization is working

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:35

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

I still can't and will never fathom how someone spends 40k on a video game that does the mental gymnastics to justify it. The level of mental illness required is astounding.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:37

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Phi230 posted:

I just wanna see what happens when they realize it's over

http://jumpgate-tri.org/

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:37

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

They did a Serialized Variable Range Culling Network Test but it didn't have a noticable effect :v:

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:37

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

spinlocks, the fidget spinners of coding

or something

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:37

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

TheAgent posted:

spinlocks, the fidget spinners of coding

or something

Now I just want another Need for Speed Underground 2.
All car games must have spinners, or they are inherently inferior.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:39

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

tuo posted:

gonna binge watch Breaking Bad with this new insight, I'll be right back

PS: Derek, what's your stance on fried chicken?

Yeah, I don't eat fried foods.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:40

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

SomethingJones posted:

He did the AI for Black & White, and now they have a general purpose reinforced learning AI that can learn how to everything

Do you have to keep slapping it to stop it eating the villagers?

TheAgent posted:

spinlocks, the fidget spinners of coding

or something

Back in my day we had bearings and autism was engineering.

D_Smart posted:

Yeah, I don't eat fried foods.

I *knew* you were a monster.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:41

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Bayonnefrog posted:

Sorry new person here so forgive if most know you already but how do you know this?

Hello Bayonnefrog!

There's a good rule for self preservation that I would like to suggest to you. Dont go chasing rabbits with stuff like this. You will see a lot of calls in this thread. Some of which claim happenings of the future that should/could happen, some illuminate happenings of the past.

Your question shouldn't be "how does he know" because that inevitably leads to the demand of "proof that you know" i know this from personal experience. The burden of proof is with the caller, he knows that when he posts. So not adding a source means 2 things, either he is pulling your strings for entertainment or he can't share the source for security reasons (this sounds like a joke in the context about a vaporware video game, but it is not, again as with this I would source, but I can't and it's up to you if you believe it or not)

An important part of getting to know the thread is getting to know the posters, the typical "callers", the gimmicks and the like. Because in the end a lot of what is called about future happenings or the circumstances of past happenings simply can't be sourced in public.

If you are not sure, if something sounds too funny to be true, find yourself a nice answer that shows that. This is a comedy forum. Your posts and everyone else's posts should be rotating around one idea. Entertaining others, with humor. So if you are skeptical about something, but you would like if it was true, for the added hilarity, simply post something like this

You can show that it sounds too funny for you to believe, without putting the op into the situation to proof something that he doesn't want to, either because it is not true, or because it is and it would put people into an uncomfortable position.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:42

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Combat Theory posted:

Hello Bayonnefrog!

There's a good rule for self preservation that I would like to suggest to you. Dont go chasing rabbits with stuff like this. You will see a lot of calls in this thread. Some of which claim happenings of the future that should/could happen, some illuminate happenings of the past.

Your question shouldn't be "how does he know" because that inevitably leads to the demand of "proof that you know" i know this from personal experience. The burden of proof is with the caller, he knows that when he posts. So not adding a source means 2 things, either he is pulling your strings for entertainment or he can't share the source for security reasons (this sounds like a joke in the context about a vaporware video game, but it is not, again as with this I would source, but I can't and it's up to you if you believe it or not)

An important part of getting to know the thread is getting to know the posters, the typical "callers", the gimmicks and the like. Because in the end a lot of what is called about future happenings or the circumstances of past happenings simply can't be sourced in public.

If you are not sure, if something sounds too funny to be true, find yourself a nice answer that shows that. This is a comedy forum. Your posts and everyone else's posts should be rotating around one idea. Entertaining others, with humor. So if you are skeptical about something, but you would like if it was true, for the added hilarity, simply post something like this

You can show that it sounds too funny for you to believe, without putting the op into the situation to proof something that he doesn't want to, either because it is not true, or because it is and it would put people into an uncomfortable position.

Do you have any proof for this?

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:43

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Sickening posted:

I still can't and will never fathom how someone spends 40k on a video game that does the mental gymnastics to justify it. The level of mental illness required is astounding.

I prob drop $5k a year overall, including hardware, and I think that's a pretty expensive threshold

I mean thats basically a car payment for the year

putting 40k into a single game would make me question my sanity. and this is coming from a guy who casually drops hundreds on hearthstone packs after a day at the bar

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:44

cynic: Jan 19, 2004

SomethingJones posted:

Lead Animator
Wilmslow
Posted yesterday
Mocap experience required

https://www.indeed.co.uk/m/viewjob?jk=db18d40d4b93aec4&from=serp

That job was posted (according to their own site) back in April and still isn't filled. They are just bumping the job posting.

�Positive
�Inherent ability to bring out the best in people, remains positive, ability to motivate your team
�an openness to critique
�Passion and constant drive
�Strong interest in science fiction based themes

Yeah, all of these things are kind of warning signs - it gives off a slight whiff of "we have a high turnover and we keep losing staff - please can we have someone experienced as gently caress, eternally optimistic, with a thick skin and the ability to work every loving waking hour on spacemans with no overtime".

According to their site, most of their positions have been unfilled since early this year.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:44

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

Hav posted:

Do you have to keep slapping it to stop it eating the villagers?

Ok this made me lol and almost choke

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:44

Loxbourne: Apr 6, 2011; Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.

Daztek posted:

Do you have any proof for this?

We're sorry, that information is not available at your current security clearance.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:45

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

D_Smart posted:

Yeah, I don't eat fried foods.

man how can we ever be friends

I mean come on, I've cut out red meat and pork, but gently caress me if I'm giving up French fries

some days it's the only thing holding my life together

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:46

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

cynic posted:

That job was posted (according to their own site) back in April and still isn't filled. They are just bumping the job posting.

�Positive
�Inherent ability to bring out the best in people, remains positive, ability to motivate your team
�an openness to critique
�Passion and constant drive
�Strong interest in science fiction based themes

Yeah, all of these things are kind of warning signs - it gives off a slight whiff of "we have a high turnover and we keep losing staff - please can we have someone experienced as gently caress, eternally optimistic, with a thick skin and the ability to work every loving waking hour on spacemans with no overtime".

According to their site, most of their positions have been unfilled since early this year.

The position of "Visionary CEO" has gone unfilled since launch.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:47

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

D_Smart posted:

Yeah, I don't eat fried foods.

How do you feel about a pizza, half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke with pesto, light on the cheese?

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:48

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

SomethingJones posted:

Ok this made me lol and almost choke

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:50

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

TheAgent posted:

I prob drop $5k a year overall, including hardware, and I think that's a pretty expensive threshold

I mean thats basically a car payment for the year

putting 40k into a single game would make me question my sanity. and this is coming from a guy who casually drops hundreds on hearthstone packs after a day at the bar

Lol, I bet you play priest

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:51

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

cynic posted:

According to their site, most of their positions have been unfilled since early this year.

I really do think they are at the 200 or less full time staff at this point

they have a very, very bad reputation among devs and no one I know would ever promote them as a place to work

they are toxic as gently caress and are really struggling to find decently experienced people to hire

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:52

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

trucutru posted:

Lol, I bet you play priest

nah I just buy packs and never play

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:52

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

(gently caress razas forever btw)

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:53

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Daztek posted:

Pretty good to you finally posting here, Bribase
Often I've wondered why Citizens seem so averse to it
Should you decide to post here more keep in mind some people post mean stuff just to get a rise out of you
Trolling each other in this thread is a bit of a meme around here

Now don't let this stop you from engaging people, just try to keep it friendly
Unless someone's really asking for it, if you know what I mean, some people just want to see the thread burn
That said, you should definitely post some cat pictures
See you around, friend

Using my unique thread reading skills, now about -5 pages to go, how come Bribase, who literally just got here, is now probated??! Man, these loving clowns can't get anything right. :laffo:

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:54

Rugganovich: Apr 29, 2017

Mirificus posted:

https://twitter.com/TarkaRoshe/status/940336032515584000

Ladies and gentleman, if someone asks you, "What does Cognitive Dissonance mean?" You can utter one word. TarkaRoshe.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:55

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

SomethingJones posted:

Ok this made me lol and almost choke

Result!

TheAgent posted:

I mean come on, I've cut out red meat and pork, but gently caress me if I'm giving up French fries

Same, but calimari. Because I'm fancy.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:55

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

TheAgent posted:

I really do think they are at the 200 or less full time staff at this point

they have a very, very bad reputation among devs and no one I know would ever promote them as a place to work

they are toxic as gently caress and are really struggling to find decently experienced people to hire

I would go work there. I say this unironically. I would fill any position they like, and work as many hours as they need, under a single hiring condition: I get to tell Chris "No."

I get to say that on any idea I think is stupid, he has to accept, and the idea has to be dropped. I am allowed one "No" every 5 minutes. One per minute during my first month to help catch up.

I will deliver the game in 2 years.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:55

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

D_Smart posted:

Using my unique thread reading skills, now about -5 pages to go, how come Bribase, who literally just got here, is now probated??! Man, these loving clowns can't get anything right.

He didn't post his balls.

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:07

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Derek, I'm sure thats surface detail with a better gimmick now

I approve tho

# ? Dec 12, 2017 22:56

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

«‹›6530 »