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Nevets posted:Does attacking PDC's result in some collateral damage? A healthy, glowy, amount of it, yes.
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Dec 13, 2017 22:02
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Yeah, not as much as directly attacking the population, but it still fucks things up. Way back during our first ever battle at Tempel 1 we accidentally dealt some collateral damage while nuking a PDC, and if Rhea had any people on it we would have killed millions when we glassed the IC missile bases during First Titan.
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Dec 13, 2017 22:03
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LLSix posted:Or, instead of being a monster who relies on orbital bombardment, you could accept higher casualties in your ground forces. You can if you can afford to expend ships on carrying them there, yes  Which is to say, if you're already winning. As above you're going to have to functionally rely on nukes to take out major PDC installations unless you feel like parking your fleet in meson range and trying to dig them out with your own beams, if you have any that can hit at any rate. So you're gonna be slinging nukes at stuff one way or another. But I'm sure you can declare anybody who lives on the same continent as a PDC a legitimate military target. OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Dec 14, 2017 |
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Dec 14, 2017 01:50
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You can capture PDCs with ground troops. Doing so causes no collateral damage.
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Dec 14, 2017 03:55
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Yeah but that's almost never feasible because they tend to, like, shoot at you the entire time.
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Dec 14, 2017 04:04
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LLSix posted:You can capture PDCs with ground troops. Doing so causes no collateral damage. Ground combat actually does inflict collateral damage (maybe not the PDC part, but the actual fighting between ground units). Not nearly as much as orbital bombardment, but still casualties in the hundreds of thousands to millions range.
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Dec 14, 2017 04:58
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...did the crabs murder everyone?
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Dec 15, 2017 05:40
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Synthbuttrange posted:...did the crabs murder everyone? Only half. Ish. We can pretend they were irredeemable capitalist raiders I guess. 
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Dec 15, 2017 05:49
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Nah, there's just nothing left to talk about until Saros posts an update. Unless the crabs murdered Saros, I guess.
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Dec 15, 2017 10:28
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Trouble on the home front. Further update probably sunday-ish. In the meantime have a fluff update. Saros fucked around with this message at 13:16 on Dec 15, 2017 |
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Dec 15, 2017 12:02
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Friend Commuter posted:Nah, there's just nothing left to talk about until Saros posts an update. Top Secret Files Leaked from Martian HQ 
Cast_No_Shadow fucked around with this message at 12:09 on Dec 15, 2017 |
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Dec 15, 2017 12:04
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Interrogating the alien menace was proving to be... difficult. They had a couple hundred examples of said alien menace, all nicely frozen and stacked in their lifepods under heavy guard in an emptied magazine of the Cornucopia. Unfortunately said specimens had a worrying tendency to explode as soon as they were revived sufficiently to realise they were captured. It seemed there were explosives buried under the heavily armored shell of the creatures which they were able to trigger at will. Every one examined so far appeared to be hardwired to their pods. The pods themselves were a full life support system as well as capable of cryostorage. The ideal temperature of the alien species even when active appeared to be barely above zero Celsius and they ran on a unique hydrocarbon based biological system that had all the biologists in a frenzy. Of course even autopsying the creatures was proving to be troublesome, the shell was hard with integrated artificial carbo-ceramic weaving which meant it approached ship armor levels of toughness. Initial attempts to cut into the dead creatures failed and the levels of force used to attempt to penetrate the shells escalated rapidly from scalpels to sledgehammers to welding torches. After a marine hull-cutter was tried and found to result in a (delicious smelling) boiling of the creatures internals before the shell was penetrated another way had to be found. Eventually a focusing array from a ship to ship laser was rigged up to fire in rapid pulses which allowed the shells to be rapidly cut (more like blasted) without boiling the creatures from the inside. Fundamentally there were parallels with Terran life. Despite their exotic biochemistry the creatures were recognisably multicellular and other than the odd biochemistry and size they would not look out of place as a Terran arthropod. The armored top and downward facing manipulator tentacles combined with the flat body gave rise to speculation that they were descended from scavengers or bottom-feeders of some sort reminiscent of Terran Trilobites. Further evidence for this came from the digestive system appearing very generalised, if somewhat atrophied due to the extended time hooked to life support in all the samples. Inside what appeared to be the brain case was a very strange duality. The brain itself was small, less than half the size of a humans and did not give signs of being markedly more efficient in terms of processing capability but attached to every specimens brain case was a strange, almost cancerous, growth rich in what appeared to be the creatures nerve cell equivalent. All of the creatures had integrated bio-techonological and bio-mechanical implants of some sort and what could only be microscopic control wires lead from all the implants to this secondary processing unit. It seems confirmed the aliens are cyborgs with both genetically engineered and technological components. Curiously the creation of the technology involved in the implants and bio-engineering appeared to rely on nano-scale processes and manipulation while the technology of the ships and all other artefacts recovered, while advanced, was much more macro-scale and did not show evidence of the same level of nano-scale control. Between all the blasting of shells, creatures exploding and gory autopsies the scientists barely spared a thought for the unfortunate cleaning crews of the Cornucopia who to say the least felt extremely unappreciated. Soon there was a booming black market trade in trophies throughout the ship which quickly spread to the other ships of the fleet clustered around the jump point. This of course quickly resulted in bored Marines eating some of the alien flesh ‘on a dare’. To the shock and surprise of everyone involved the cooked flesh (initially obtained from a hull-cutter related pressure explosion of a dead alien) tasted delicious. Carefully worded questions to the scientists confirmed that not only was there unlikely to be any danger from consumption due to differing biochemistries and temperatures but that the biological incompatibility meant that the alien ambrosia was actually calorie negative as no real sustenance could be drawn from it. A second round of black market traffic for consumptive purposes eventually was noticed by officer territory and a couple of perpetrators were made examples of (but not too harshly given the circumstances). The lasting result being that very soon everyone in the fleet knew of the aliens status as a delicacy and prices soared. After an attempt was made to break into the cargo bay holding the alien cryopods command was grudgingly forces to issue a fleetwide warning, the most famous of which appeared in poster form.  Eventually a way to disable the internal boobytraps of the Aliens was found (using a projector of a high powered microwave weapon rigged up as a sort of mad scientist EMP gun, right next to the shell cutting laser in the same cargo hold of course). The first revival attempt ended rather... poorly. The alien was brought back to consciousness, attempted to detonate its internal explosives only to find that non of its implants were functional. It then proceeded to tear itself free of its life support cylinder in attempts to attack the surrounding scientists and their guards only to inflict sufficient internal injuries on itself from implants and other hard-wiring into the life support pod tearing free that it expired soon after. After the second and third attempts ended much the same way it was decided to delay further revivals until a bigger and better equipped facility could be acquired.
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Dec 15, 2017 13:15
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Delicious AND negatively nutritious!
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Dec 15, 2017 13:25
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Yum Mindworms!
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Dec 15, 2017 13:28
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Dec 15, 2017 13:58
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Do you know what else is a war crime? Nuking civilian populations Eat 'em all!
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Dec 15, 2017 14:09
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punched my v-card at camp posted:Do you know what else is a war crime? Nuking civilian populations I'm from Nova Sol II and I say eat them all!
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Dec 15, 2017 14:41
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Oh god, the most disgusting thing is what's made canon.
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Dec 15, 2017 15:21
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Dance Officer posted:Oh god, the most disgusting thing is what's made canon. Did you miss the xenosexual discussion a few pages back or something?
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Dec 15, 2017 15:36
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Dance Officer posted:Oh god, the most disgusting thing is what's made canon. No, only the second, nobody's tried to gently caress them yet (or at least, nobody's succeeded yet) E: 
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Dec 15, 2017 15:36
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punched my v-card at camp posted:Do you know what else is a war crime? Nuking civilian populations Consuming Prisoners is not just A War Crime it is also against the UCMJ! I'll ask for a transfer to JAG if I have to, to stop this madness! Maybe also if it just gets me off Mars and back into space.
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Dec 15, 2017 15:39
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Dance Officer posted:Oh god, the most disgusting thing is what's made canon. Almost like extended space travel causes people to literally lose their minds. Also a dash of bleedthough from the Coldest War for naming a ship the Cornucopia.
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Dec 15, 2017 15:50
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LLSix posted:Consuming Prisoners is not just A War Crime it is also against the UCMJ! I'll ask for a transfer to JAG if I have to, to stop this madness! Maybe also if it just gets me off Mars and back into space. The precedent established in Air Bud v. Basketball Villains holds in this case. As there ain't no rule that explicitly says we can't eat the remains of our crab prisoners, it must be legal.
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Dec 15, 2017 15:57
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punched my v-card at camp posted:The precedent established in Air Bud v. Basketball Villains holds in this case. As there ain't no rule that explicitly says we can't eat the remains of our crab prisoners, it must be legal. We didn't kill them sir, they all accidentally slipped into boiling water. Then they slipped again into garlic butter. Tragically delicious but not a war crime.
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Dec 15, 2017 16:22
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The cryogenically frozen crab monsters went for my gun. Of course, after they were unfortunately killed in their escape attempt, they were no longer prisoners, so there was no crime in eating them.
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Dec 15, 2017 16:26
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Dirt5o8 posted:We didn't kill them sir, they all accidentally slipped into boiling water. Then they slipped again into garlic butter. Tragically delicious but not a war crime. Thank you for your service!
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Dec 15, 2017 16:28
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The last time humans tried to make something that tasted delicious & wasn't absorbed by the body it turned out that eating a ton of fatty food you can't digest makes your lower intestine into a slip'n'slide. That was just potato chips, I'd hate to see what happens after a full crab dinner.
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Dec 15, 2017 16:33
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punched my v-card at camp posted:The precedent established in Air Bud v. Basketball Villains holds in this case. As there ain't no rule that explicitly says we can't eat the remains of our crab prisoners, it must be legal. Ah, but there is a law explicitly against eating other sentients! The Martian Colonial Charter specifically states that it is illegal for any sentient to eat another sentient regardless of their shape, size, race, color, religion , national origin, or planetary origin. Our original founders were still worried about what might happen to native lifeforms that had thus far not been discovered when hungry colonists encountered them.
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Dec 15, 2017 16:35
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Nevets posted:The last time humans tried to make something that tasted delicious & wasn't absorbed by the body it turned out that eating a ton of fatty food you can't digest makes your lower intestine into a slip'n'slide. That was just potato chips, I'd hate to see what happens after a full crab dinner. Yeah I wanna see this be canon. Because gettin’ the crabshits should be a courtmartialable offense, dammit, you degenerates.
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Dec 15, 2017 16:51
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LLSix posted:Ah, but there is a law explicitly against eating other sentients! The Martian Colonial Charter specifically states that it is illegal for any sentient to eat another sentient regardless of their shape, size, race, color, religion , national origin, or planetary origin. Our original founders were still worried about what might happen to native lifeforms that had thus far not been discovered when hungry colonists encountered them. Ah, but Krabs have yet to be proven sentient. Attempts at closing this loophole (by proving them sentient) has so far only resulted in producing more tragically delicious Krab-bits.
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Dec 15, 2017 17:48
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Anta posted:Ah, but Krabs have yet to be proven sentient. Attempts at closing this loophole (by proving them sentient) has so far only resulted in producing more tragically delicious Krab-bits. Rules lawyering should also be court-martial-able.
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Dec 15, 2017 17:52
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If we ever eventually succeed in our communication rolls, our diplomatic efforts will fail if we eat these things. So... maybe wait until those rolls inevitably fail?
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Dec 15, 2017 17:54
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We know that these aliens have unnaturally altered brains, so the determination of sentience is a little tricky. Here's an interesting though experiment: Imagine we invent a pill that can make cows sentient.  Now nobody wants to eat a talking cow, but imagine the pill wears off & the cow goes back to normal. Is it OK to eat the cow now that it is no longer sentient? If it's not OK, is it because we now know that the cow is only 1 pill away from being sentient again? Does that mean that we can't eat any cows anymore since they are equally close to sentience? Or is it not OK because once something has achieved sentience they are off limits no matter any latter changes in brain power, meaning that other cows are still fine to eat as long as we do it before someone sneaks pills into the grain silos? If it is OK to eat the no longer talking bovine, does that mean that sentience is only determined by your current mental capacity, or is it determined by your natural unaltered physiology? If it's the latter, let's say that we return a cyborg fartcrab to it's un-enhanced origins by surgically removing all implants and it turns into a non-sentient being: is it OK to eat now? And is the act of removing it's thinking parts (no matter how unnatural) analogous to a lobotomy & a bigger crime than eating a thinking being anyway?
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Dec 15, 2017 18:14
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Inglonias posted:If we ever eventually succeed in our communication rolls, our diplomatic efforts will fail if we eat these things. They, uh. They're already trying to kill us. When we do succeed in communicating, we should go full Liam Neeson on them. "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for tech more advanced than yours, I can tell you we don't have it. But what we do have, is a very particular set of seasonings. Seasonings collected from across the vastness of space. Seasonings that will make your cooked flesh irresistible to even the most staunch Xenophile. If you retreat from our space and never return, that will be the end of it. But if you don't, we will look for your homeworld, we will find you... and we will eat you."
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Dec 15, 2017 18:14
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Crazycryodude posted:No, only the second, nobody's tried to gently caress them yet (or at least, nobody's succeeded yet) Incorrect on both counts, it is that nobody has been caught trying or succeeding to have carnal relations with a Krab living or dead.
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Dec 15, 2017 18:20
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Nevets posted:The last time humans tried to make something that tasted delicious & wasn't absorbed by the body it turned out that eating a ton of fatty food you can't digest makes your lower intestine into a slip'n'slide. That was just potato chips, I'd hate to see what happens after a full crab dinner. Enough drawn butter also helps keep everything smooth sailin', from one end to the other! Wait wait wait.... If we can't digest the meat, does that mean we can...RECYCLE IT? A little filtering, a good wash, and voila!, sustainable fartcrab for everyone!   
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Dec 15, 2017 18:28
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It's a victimless war crime, they're already dead! Voluntarily even! It's practically vegan! Also I thought up a better name for my spaceship today and spent all day looking forward to adding it to the spreadsheet. OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Dec 15, 2017 |
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Dec 15, 2017 18:28
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Neophyte posted:Enough drawn butter also helps keep everything smooth sailin', from one end to the other! God help us if this is true. We'll end up in a scenario like Shadowrun's Better Than Life chip-drugs where our entire populace is trapped in a positive feedback cycle of endless fartcrab noshing.
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Dec 15, 2017 18:36
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I'm imagining a Dune style stillsuit purifying greasy fartcrab shits & piping them right back into your mouth, still warm.
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Dec 15, 2017 18:40
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I know mars is communist but I feel like we could make a killing selling these things as a dietary aid on the terran market like some kind of interplanetary opium war. Especially if we manage to breed one without the weird brain cancer that gives them sapience.
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Dec 15, 2017 18:44
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