tactlessbastard posted:

So we're doing reruns from earlier in the thread, then?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Production budget all tapped out for this year. Big comeback mid-January, though.

minato posted:

Screaming Idiot posted:

Lifehack: Taste things before loading them down with salt to lessen your dependence upon salt. Your heart will thank you.

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Listen.

My heart can go gently caress itself. It doesn't even have a particularly good rhythm!

Also your body can handle processing salt, unless you've got a medical disease.

Screaming Idiot posted:

If your heart walks without rhythm, it won't attract the heartworm. And when it comes to tasty spice alternatives, my weapon of choice is Mrs. Dash with a sprinkle of MSG.

Edit: I say this as a fat boy trying to get slim.

Guy Goodbody posted:

volcultsmer posted:

This doggo starts the "find the ball" quest chain.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

It's just a fetch quest, it's not that great.

Ziv Zulander posted:

https://i.imgur.com/Eqt3QA1.jpg

veni veni veni posted:

gently caress! Why?! That can't have even been an accident.

Korgan posted:

Don't leave your gun cocked

Powered Descent posted:

Not to worry, thats what the decocking lever is for.

Funzo posted:

Looks like that guy already used it.

Mikl posted:

Henchman of Santa posted:

A Christmas tradition: What did we get stuck in our rectums last year?
https://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-1821393493

Dick Trauma posted:

“PUT PAPERCLIP THROUGH URETHRA AND PUNCTURED THROUGH THE SHAFT OF PENIS”

another loser posted:

Breakfast All Day posted:

one horse open slay

Dick Trauma posted:

“PUT PAPERCLIP THROUGH URETHRA AND PUNCTURED THROUGH THE SHAFT OF PENIS”

SoldadoDeTone posted:

My dad has alzheimers disease, and he asked me five times if I wanted a pair of shoes he was getting rid of. Each time I told him that my feet were too small and he'd ask me if my dick was that small, too.

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Guy Goodbody posted:

Alaois posted:

The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[7] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The blue-ringed octopus' bite causes paralysis which usually leads to death by suffocation because your diaphragm stops working and there's no antivenom so the only treatment is to keep doing CPR on the victim (even though they won't respond at all) until they can be transported to a hospital and put on a ventilator.

Say Nothing posted:

Indecisive posted:

poo poo being dead owns i guess, where do i sign up

Sam Faust posted:

quote:

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

This reminded me of Little House on the Prairie where Albert, the adopted son, gets hooked on morphine and is dragged into the wilderness by Michael Landon's Pa Ingalls in a two-parter that ends with them praying and screaming in the rain. Can't recall if this is before or after he leaves a burning cigarette behind that ends up torching the blind school, which kills a series regular and a baby in the process. This was definitely after his pregnant romantic interest is revealed to have been raped, blamed by her father for tempting the rapist, then dying in Albert's arms when she falls off a ladder trying to escape her rapist though. Little House was a hosed up show.

mind the walrus posted:

Holy gently caress this is Little House on the Prairie? I always thought it was about like, a little girl in pigtails watching goats fart while she milked them then telling poppa.

Sagebrush posted:

It's true. The links in a quote that you can use to jump back to the original post. They don't work any more. At least on my computers.

Why?

Please fix it. tia

akadajet posted:

There's a jquery "delegate" event handler set on page links that is blocking them from working.

Not sure what it's supposed to do, but you can unregister it in the console with

code:

$(document).undelegate('td.postbody a', 'click');

And then the links work like normal again.
I threw it in a tampermonkey script because I was tired of not being able to click those links.

Arrhythmia posted:

How on earth do I do this.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

Firefox: Ctrl + Shift + K
Chrome: Ctrl + Shift + J

copy and paste code snippet into the area that shows up, hopefully you're not on mobile like a non-power user

akadajet posted:

That's a weird way to type cmd + option + i

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

yes you've told me you're vegan already

maskenfreiheit posted:

lol if you thinki have the mental capacity to remember all the women who've turned down sex with me, i use that space to remember pokemon stats and which gas stations have nice bathrooms

food court bailiff posted:

I had a severe allergic reaction last night and I was catching up on this thread as my bronchial tubes closed up and I was trying desperately not to die but then I read Samizdata's unending rant and the will to live fled my body like a freed bird. I am genuinely surprised I woke up this morning.

Lime Tonics posted:

https://giant.gfycat.com/MassivePossibleBobwhite.webm

Baronjutter posted:

They did this on mythbusters. If your hand is slightly damp the extreme high heat flash boils the water and forms a protective vapour barrier around you hand.

They did it with molten lead

Proteus Jones posted:

Yep! Called the Leidenfrost Effect. But for fucks sake don't wiggle your fingers when you do it. Just do it like most goons have sex. In. Out. Done.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leidenfrost_effect

Trabant posted:

Wiggling your fingers is exactly how most goons have sex.

happyhippy posted:

World of Warcraft
First character, a Human Rogue, as wanted to be a fantasy Han Solo.
Learned how to Stealth, it ruled, and thought this made me invisible to EVERYONE.
Passing goldshire inn, and hear two people ERPing upstairs.
So thought I would go see what was going on, I stealhed and and crept up trying not to notice.
I stealth into the room, hide in the corner and wait.
One goes 'What is that Rogue doing?'
I paniced, and just ran from the room and logged out.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

a curse upon america and its people

Tax Inductions posted:

don't sign your posts lol

Ponderous Saxon posted:

What’s the scientifically established optimal cat:partner ratio in an open marriage?

Blue Train posted:

While it always seems that there will be unlimited pussy in an open marriage it rarely works out that way

botany posted:

Those slaves do deserve commendation. They were amazing people with a ton of talent. But you can’t discount the slave owners who were owning them and spearheading the plantations as well. Without them, those slaves wouldn’t have produced the goods that ran the american economy.

Ganson posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_equivalence

botany posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck_off

Opal posted:

Does anyone have the quote that went on about somebody who coats his skin with a white substance and blood flows off his alabaster skin as he kills? Something, something.

Sapozhnik posted:

Ganson posted:

I don't look to this happening any time soon. Musk is working on the problem directly now. Realism/Pragmatism is kinda my thing.

Find me a government worth of these people who are electable in all the places they'd need to be and I'm all aboard. But I would literally support Hitler if he was realistically the best chance of continuing the human race past 100-150 years from now.

Eox posted:

That whole derail has been pretty great

trapped mouse posted:

now, to me - and MAYBE i'm just reaching here - it sounds like (possibly) this poster believes that the jews are responsible for the decline of the human race

note that i didn't actually click through to look at that thread, because it sounds like a bad time

Ganson posted:

Admittedly I'm pretty left and eugenics is starting to look pretty good. I'm guessing not for the same reasons.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

mind you i didn't look at the thread either so if it turns out this guy's actually antisemitic then lol

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

https://twitter.com/GraphicStrick/status/946392565032673280?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E1

I wish I could pocket 80 grand for making GBS threads out unreadable and inane trash not fit to publish.

Instead I had to pay ten bucks.

quote:

In 2012 nothing extraordinary will happen. Your problems will not magically go away. School and work will not be any better or worse. Just because one digit of the year changes does not automatically mean you get a “fresh start” by doing nothing. But you know what? If you work hard and believe, you’ll get that fresh start. You just have to make it happen. YOU. Not the New Year. You are the only one with the power to change your world and solve your problems.

moose face posted:

Human centipede and chill

Jikes posted:

Guide to interacting with cops so far:

• Threaten the cops - get shot
  
• Don't threaten the cops - get shot
  
• Express bewilderment as to what cops are doing there - get shot
  
• Approach cop car unexpectedly - get shot
  
• Loudly announce you are approaching cops - get shot
  
• Reach for a gun - get shot
  
• Let cop know you are legally carrying a registered weapon - get shot
  
• 'Reach for your wallet as instructed to get your ID - get shot
  
• Answer the door - get shot
  
• Don't answer the door - get shot
  
• Approach the cop as instructed - get shot
  
• Run away from the cop - get shot
  
• Lie on the ground motionless and beg cops not to shoot your autistic patient - get shot
  
• Crawl toward the cops as instructed, sobbing and pleading for your life - get shot
  
• Disobey orders - get shot
  
• Obey orders - get shot
  

I want to believe in a just world where only the deserving suffer but this is making it very difficult

OldTennisCourt posted:

Sorry honey but your husband reached down to fix his pants and he was shot 50 times. Look officers have a rough job and oh gently caress officer please oh please in my mouth and all over my face officer please oh fuuuuuuck

Oscar Wild posted:

I just heard an old Mitch hedberg joke, "alcoholism is the only disease you get yelled at for having."

Nonviolent J posted:

what about deafness

quote:

Shut up and finish your pussy, there's starving virgins in E/N

Samuringa posted:

What was that one fireworks event where the entire load blew in one second? Should make for some topical freud.

Trig Discipline posted:

Some quick googling tells me it's all of your dates.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

We really should stop talking about Steven Universe otherwise we'll attract some SU fans to the thread and we don't want that



Edit: OH GODDAMIT
vvvv