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The General posted:When I was six, I ate a big rear end glob of wasabi not knowing what it was. All the asians just laughed at me. I'm an Asian from Asia and I'm still laughing about it to this day.
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Dec 22, 2017 08:23
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The General posted:When I was six, I ate a big rear end glob of wasabi not knowing what it was. All the asians just laughed at me. At 5, I learned to eat peanuts with a chopstick from the really cute Japanese girl in preschool during a show and tell day. She wore a kimono and geta.
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Dec 22, 2017 08:59
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I can see this one happening
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Dec 22, 2017 11:26
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Furia posted:I can see this one happening Pretty sure I've seen this exact joke before, only with "like, share and subscribe". It's definitely in the realm of "not so improbable as to be ridiculous", but at the very least I suspect someone's stealing the story.
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Dec 22, 2017 11:46
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Anytime I hear about some toddler spouting some overly complicated rhetoric, I think of Pup Dog from Pogo who only ever says one sentence. (the joke is that Pup Dog is jus' a li'l ol' shirt-tail baby-size dog what don't talk good yet)
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Dec 23, 2017 04:37
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Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:Walked into my bank (which I am not here to shill for so shall remain nameless but is NOT Chase, Citi, BOA, or WF) on Park Avenue today, and told them to sweep (almost) every penny from my accounts to my personal account and wire to it to Metropolitan Commercial Bank f/b/o Coinbase f/f/b/o My coinbase account. Not actually a coiner; goon repost
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Dec 23, 2017 16:57
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Dec 23, 2017 18:48
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 I loving hate antivaxxers
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Dec 23, 2017 18:51
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It's like getting bit by a snake, if you act fast enough you can suck the vaccine out of the wound. Or piss on it, I'm no expert.
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Dec 23, 2017 21:33
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so did she shove the doctor while the needle was still in her kid's arm
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Dec 23, 2017 21:47
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Ein cooler Typ posted:so did she shove the doctor while the needle was still in her kid's arm She’s triumphantly dragging her kid outside as blood sprays from his torn artery.
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Dec 23, 2017 21:48
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Better dead than
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Dec 23, 2017 22:11
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Don't mind me, I'm just the nurse standing around clapping for the heroic antivaxer while a doctor gets assaulted during the process of doing my work for me.
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Dec 23, 2017 22:52
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Why were multiple nurses watching.
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Dec 24, 2017 01:20
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Not the first time this doctor's tried to pull that poo poo
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Dec 24, 2017 01:32
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the child is also a nurse
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Dec 24, 2017 01:32
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I'm the doctor who wears a bandolier of syringes, each of which contain every necessary vaccine at the same time, everywhere I go in case I suddenly run across an unvaccinated child.
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Dec 24, 2017 02:11
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You're doing God's/Satan's work, sir/madam
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Dec 24, 2017 02:14
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I keep my emergency vaccines in one of those jurassic park shaving foam cans.
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Dec 24, 2017 02:26
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Aerox posted:I'm the doctor who wears a bandolier of syringes, each of which contain every necessary vaccine at the same time, everywhere I go in case I suddenly run across an unvaccinated child. The hero we need.
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Dec 24, 2017 11:55
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Aerox posted:I'm the doctor who wears a bandolier of syringes, each of which contain every necessary vaccine at the same time, everywhere I go in case I suddenly run across an unvaccinated child. I am worried. You don't have a Vacciscanner so you can detect the anti-vaxxer kids. So that means autism FOR EVERYONE!
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Dec 25, 2017 04:14
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Samizdata posted:I am worried. You don't have a Vacciscanner so you can detect the anti-vaxxer kids. So that means autism FOR EVERYONE! Don’t worry, most of the time you can tell by looking at the parents.
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Dec 25, 2017 04:21
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Aerox posted:Don’t worry, most of the time you can tell by looking at the parents. Oh, right. They are the ones WITHOUT a touch of the 'tism. Gotcha.
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Dec 25, 2017 04:22
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That story hits a lot closer to home now. Found out a co-worker is an anti-vaxxer on motherfucking MUH FREEDOMS grounds, so I told them I believe anyone who doesn’t vaccinate in this era is complicit in murder. She and I aren’t going to be talking to each other any more outside of strictly work dialogue.
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Dec 25, 2017 05:41
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Avenging_Mikon posted:That story hits a lot closer to home now. Found out a co-worker is an anti-vaxxer on motherfucking MUH FREEDOMS grounds, so I told them I believe anyone who doesn’t vaccinate in this era is complicit in murder. Sorry to hear that. OTOH, if they can risk murdering children because of FREEEEEEDOM! then I should be able to murder them out of the same drive for FREEEEEEEDOM! right?
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Dec 25, 2017 09:40
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Dec 26, 2017 22:47
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I once fed my child apples and now he has CYANIDE in his body!  Some fruits/nuits like Apples and Almonds contain stuff that the processes in the body can turn into a cyanide but only trace amounts and certainly not enough to harm you - the only reason people get sick from it is eating ludicrous amounts like Prince George. A cyanide is any chemical that has a C=N double bond IIRC, so considering every biological thing has Carbon and Nitrogen as key parts of their makeup (like in amino acids and DNA, along with Oxygen and Hydrogen[WHICH CAN BOTH EXPLODE!]) means it's practically unavoidable.
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Dec 26, 2017 23:03
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Hi, I'm the parent who told his child that I unwittingly injected his brain with poisonous metals that will destroy his life.
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Dec 27, 2017 06:43
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BioEnchanted posted:I once fed my child apples and now he has CYANIDE in his body!  These fuckers will definitely make you sick/considerably poison you if you eat more than like, 2 or 3. The amygdalin (aka b17, by assholes who try to hide this fact) metabolizes into cyanide. Eating too many will loving kill you dead. Then you have poo poo like this:  In which the writer deserves a swift and punctual asskicking for trying to downplay the dangers of amygdalin.
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Dec 27, 2017 11:30
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No, sweetheart, but you will finally be free of Mommy's foolish indoctrination and the easily curable disease you died from since Mommy wouldn't vaccinate you...
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Dec 27, 2017 11:49
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Zipperelli. posted:Apricots I thought these got banned. A "toxic synergy" being created is one hell of a sales pitch.
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Dec 27, 2017 13:15
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Zipperelli. posted:These fuckers will definitely make you sick/considerably poison you if you eat more than like, 2 or 3. The amygdalin (aka b17, by assholes who try to hide this fact) metabolizes into cyanide. Eating too many will loving kill you dead. Genuine question but if this is the case (which I don't doubt) then how in the gently caress is it legal to sell these as food? Is this just a "muh freedums" thing?
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Dec 27, 2017 14:16
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Zipperelli. posted:
Honestly, I'm not sure I'd trust Dr. Cancer to tell me about what STOPS cancer.
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Dec 27, 2017 14:58
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I would love (not really) to hear a 3-year old try to enunciate "mythological figure".
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Dec 27, 2017 15:00
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Serperoth posted:Honestly, I'm not sure I'd trust Dr. Cancer to tell me about what STOPS cancer. Well, it does say "Apricot Kernels FOR Cancer", not against it.
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Dec 27, 2017 15:58
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Foglet posted:Well, it does say "Apricot Kernels FOR Cancer", not against it. Well you can't develop cancer if you die from acute cyanide poisoning
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Dec 27, 2017 17:28
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Zipperelli. posted:
Maybe it's just me, but I think anyone stupid enough to eat enough of these to be lethal (hell, to eat them at all, really) kinda deserves what they get. Darwinism at work and all that.
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Dec 27, 2017 17:34
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fun fact, cancer cells tend to rely less on oxidative phosphorylation and do a whole lot more glycolysis (since tumors tend to have very unreliable blood/oxygen supplies anyways) -- meaning that cyanide poisoning would kill all of your own cells that you want to keep but probably leave the cancer cells intact. basically the opposite of "a toxic synergy that specifically targets cancer cells."
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Dec 27, 2017 17:51
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Whitlam posted:Genuine question but if this is the case (which I don't doubt) then how in the gently caress is it legal to sell these as food? Is this just a "muh freedums" thing? America
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Dec 27, 2017 18:10
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:Maybe it's just me, but I think anyone stupid enough to eat enough of these to be lethal (hell, to eat them at all, really) kinda deserves what they get. Darwinism at work and all that. My best friend (and father of my godson) has had a kidney removed because of cancer. His mom had a double mastectomy because of breast cancer. His dad died of stomach cancer. All in the span of 3-4 years. Not sure if they have lovely genes or lovely luck, but in that kind of scenario, you get desperate and want so hard to believe in miracle cures... I definitely didn't know how to react when he told me about apricot pits and everything big pharma didn't want us to know.
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Dec 28, 2017 02:21
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