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empty sea
Jul 17, 2011

gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset
Cartilage is great...broken down after like 10 hours in a stew or ham soup or something. You want crunch? Eat a goddamn vegetable.

I don't have a pic but I ate my boss' horrifying "Dr. Pepper pulled pork" for the holiday break meal and it was the worst goddamn pulled pork I've ever personally experienced. It was watery, greasy, stringy and bland as hell, save for a disquieting aftertaste, all at once. Also her mac n cheese was so dry the only way to eat it was to fully submerge it into the chipotle chili I made.

I hate holiday work meals so goddamn much. Can't we just pool some cash and buy something actually loving edible?

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SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Calling for pizza rules before you even taste the drat things is insanity and I refuse to live in such a brutal police state.

FFT
Dec 28, 2005

keyboard ⌨️​ :clint: cowboy

Banana + Pineapple I'd try, at least, but what are the pink/red things? My first thought was flamin' hot cheetos but looking closer they're too uniform.

Some kind of pasta? Licorice ropes? Sour candy straws? Ground meat left in the state that it comes out of the grinder? Is there something obvious I'm missing?

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I think it's ham

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
afp/ff: i think it's ham

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

If you order ham on pizza in australia thats what you get.

Arivia posted:

I never really understood why those would be such a threat to children but looking at those images my brain misfires and goes "just a taste? could be really good..." which is scary as gently caress.

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Synthbuttrange posted:

If you order ham on pizza in australia thats what you get.




What the gently caress? I can’t tell if these people are for real.

Arivia
Mar 17, 2011

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

What the gently caress? I can’t tell if these people are for real.

#3 is serious. Everyone else is joking. It's a great set of posts, for sure.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
They're basically right for why kids and dementia patients keep trying to eat them(bright like fruit or candy, smells slightly nice), but there's still something broken in your brain if you're a mentally sound adult and still feel the urge to eat one.

Mymla
Aug 12, 2010
I've had banana on pizza and yeah I would definitely rather go with the detergent.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Still, my bet is less than 6 months before they take them off the market / significantly redesign them to look less like something invented in a candy lab

Crocoswine
Aug 20, 2010

Data Graham posted:

Still, my bet is less than 6 months before they take them off the market / significantly redesign them to look less like something invented in a candy lab

why would they, they've been on the market for nearly five goddamned years

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
The articles I've read say they're starting to make them opaque so you don't see the colorful liquids inside, at least in the US/EU.

But this is business we're talking about, so I'm assuming they're going to drag their heels on it until enough kids/demented old people die to make another uproar.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

What's the most viciously anti-enticing color for food? I've heard blue but my mouth waters at day-glo blue raspberry candy.

I can't think of any color the candy industry hasn't made sorta tasty. Maybe if you made it mottled-looking, like mold spores? But then the bleu cheese lovers might try snacking on one.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Crocoswine posted:

why would they, they've been on the market for nearly five goddamned years

Yeah, but it’s going viral and I expect to see “people eating tide pods” stories on the news first half of January


^^ I say white is their best bet

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




Synthbuttrange posted:

If you order ham on pizza in australia thats what you get.




I loving love posts like this.

Flipperwaldt
Nov 11, 2011

Won't somebody think of the starving hamsters in China?



In the UK they have had tv commercials for two years or so exclusively dedicated to telling people to always keep them away from children. Like a psa, but from and paid for by the manufacturers.

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Randaconda posted:

I think it's ham

I hope it's pickled turnip like in donairs.

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007


This isnt helping!

Crocoswine
Aug 20, 2010

it's like anti-freeze or aspirin or regular laundry detergent just keep them out of reach of dumb kids who want to eat poison

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme


Don’t forger to put curry powder on your banana pizza.

fizzymercury
Aug 18, 2011

Picnic Princess posted:

I hope it's pickled turnip like in donairs.

Wait. That's not ham in donair? Goddamn Canada, you're already pouring Eagle brand on that poo poo. Pickled turnips to go with are just a dick move.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Gonna go hit the halal cart and ask for ham

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Wait minute, if there are things like bread bowl pizza and reverse pizza in bowls why don't we have a pizza soup inside a pizza bowl?

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

RandomPauI posted:

Wait minute, if there are things like bread bowl pizza and reverse pizza in bowls why don't we have a pizza soup inside a pizza bowl?

We can, friend, since there's no rules in our glorious pizza utopia.

fizzymercury
Aug 18, 2011

Data Graham posted:

Gonna go hit the halal cart and ask for ham

Oh my god I'm dumb.

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day
someone needs to do a trip report on these pods.

fizzymercury
Aug 18, 2011
I did one. Trip tldr: OHHHHHGODNOWHY ITSSOSALTY?!!

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

fizzymercy posted:

Wait. That's not ham in donair? Goddamn Canada, you're already pouring Eagle brand on that poo poo. Pickled turnips to go with are just a dick move.

Aside from the meat you can get vegetables too. Pickled turnip is my favourite, its loving delicious as hell.

Mymla
Aug 12, 2010
Can't we just go back to licking our breath of the wild cartridges like civilized people?

KataraniSword
Apr 22, 2008

but at least I don't have
a MLP or MSPA avatar.
I am my own man.

Brawnfire posted:

What's the most viciously anti-enticing color for food? I've heard blue but my mouth waters at day-glo blue raspberry candy.

I can't think of any color the candy industry hasn't made sorta tasty. Maybe if you made it mottled-looking, like mold spores? But then the bleu cheese lovers might try snacking on one.

Radioactive green or vom brown.

poo poo brown, sadly, has been ruined by chocolate existing.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Harvey Mantaco posted:

Not a picture but I panicked because I saw a small spider on my hand and I have a major issue with them but it was squished and I looked closer and it was actually just a little chocolate smear from the dainty I just ate lol so silly so what the hell I went to lick it off my hand and it didn't totally come off so I looked closer and whoops actually yeah was spider.

So, the spider is supposed to bite YOU not you bite the spider.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

KataraniSword posted:

Radioactive green

DEW PODS

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




KataraniSword posted:

poo poo brown, sadly, has been ruined by chocolate existing.

i was thinking the same thing :thunk:

maybe just beige? or a warm opaque grey

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



Data Graham posted:

Meanwhile we're all like "It'S a TeXtUrE tHinG" spongebob.jpg

i forgot if i mentioned it in this thread but i was banned by a food facebook group for posting seafood tom yum soup, because an anime yelled at how "it's textural issues you loving rear end in a top hat" and that it's ableist i guess

Arivia
Mar 17, 2011

The Saddest Rhino posted:

i forgot if i mentioned it in this thread but i was banned by a food facebook group for posting seafood tom yum soup, because an anime yelled at how "it's textural issues you loving rear end in a top hat" and that it's ableist i guess

did you say it was bad or something?

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

The Snoo posted:

i was thinking the same thing :thunk:

maybe just beige? or a warm opaque grey

Beige is butterscotch, yum yum yum! Warm opaque grey sounds like a bad hummus, lol

Acid green I see all the time in Trolli products. Usually delicious ones. Not sure if that counts as radioactive. However, 80s/90s Nick slime/ninja turtle goo/ghostbusters ectoplasm theme of products has me inoculated against some pretty hosed-up greens.

I momentarily thought highly-contrast black gritty chunks but then I remembered cookies and creme.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



naw it was a group where you post good food you like

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Pretty much every not-found-in-nature bright primary color has been coopted by candy by this point.

That's why I stand by white. It's sufficiently ambiguous and ubiquitous that we have to kick our brain in and think "milk... or chalk? Sugar .. or baking soda? Flour ... or soap/detergent/bleach powder?"

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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Data Graham posted:

Pretty much every not-found-in-nature bright primary color has been coopted by candy by this point.

That's why I stand by white. It's sufficiently ambiguous and ubiquitous that we have to kick our brain in and think "milk... or chalk? Sugar .. or baking soda? Flour ... or soap/detergent/bleach powder?"

I loved white mystery airheads as a kid, mmm... still wonder what they were exactly. I don't believe anything anyone says. I don't believe my own mouth!

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