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They hired Lin-Manuel Miranda, the Hamilton guy who cried because Barack Obama laughed at him, to write all the songs in Moana. Even though he's a sloppy, brainless lyricist who thinks he's inspired when he's just manic. He's pretty much this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFDU_R6ShmI&t=763s But Shiny is the best song in the movie about the best character in the movie and sung by Jermaine Clement, so the lyrics are a true tragedy. Here's a full list of everything wrong with them:
Jewel Repetition fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Jan 1, 2018 |
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Jan 1, 2018 07:53
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 02:06 |
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- Not shiny enough
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Jan 1, 2018 08:01
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Jeb! Repetition posted:They hired Lin-Manuel Miranda, the Hamilton guy who cried because Barack Obama laughed at him, to write all the songs in Moana. Even though he's a sloppy, brainless lyricist who thinks he's inspired when he's just manic. He's pretty much this: This hilarious post inspires me to say "Who give a gently caress you unfunny oval office"
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Jan 1, 2018 11:31
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I avoid these problems by listening to the true version that Miranda had nothing to do with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs7RUDUlKlM
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Jan 1, 2018 14:15
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The only song I liked was the one when they were on the boats.
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Jan 1, 2018 15:04
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My daughter has watched this movie so many times that I sometimes wake up at night with this song stuck in my head
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Jan 1, 2018 17:27
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504 posted:This hilarious post inspires me to say "Who give a gently caress you unfunny oval office" Thank you for your opinion on what's funny, GBS poster Peanut President posted:I avoid these problems by listening to the true version that Miranda had nothing to do with Holy poo poo
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Jan 1, 2018 18:03
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for 2018, can we stop doing the thing where celebrities earn praise for their talent, until 24/7 coverage of them triggers a backlash where people pretend they never had any talent to begin with these boom and bust cycles are extremely boring and predictable whether it’s the hamilton guy, jennifer lawrence, or anne hathaway
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Jan 1, 2018 20:59
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1: he knows what her granny said because he knows he's in a disney movie since he references sebastian in the after credits scene and that's what all grandmothers in a disney movie say
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Jan 1, 2018 21:11
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Jeb! Repetition posted:Holy poo poo yw
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Jan 1, 2018 22:12
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No, that was The Rock's song.
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Jan 1, 2018 23:20
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i'm never going to watch moana because the mental image i've built up in my head of a fabulous greedy singing dragon crab is too good to be tainted by reality
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Jan 2, 2018 00:50
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australiar posted:i'm never going to watch moana because the mental image i've built up in my head of a fabulous greedy singing dragon crab is too good to be tainted by reality Well do I have news for you the song is sung by a giant crab covered in gold
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Jan 2, 2018 02:21
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Tamatoa is a demigod-like being and that's how he can break the third wall and summon backup singers like Maui. Like, duh.
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Jan 2, 2018 02:30
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I thought the whole second act was a disjointed mess and the coconut duders and the crab would've been better off replaced by a real Disney villain. e: Better yet, have the coconuts be led by a classic Disney villain who interrupts near the end of Shiny and then shows up again during the final battle.
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Jan 2, 2018 04:27
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He explicitly has at least one magic item embedded in his shell and seems to know what the heart is and want it beyond it just being a jewel. He is also giant and one of the only animals that is able to speak, he also lives in the land of monsters. He clearly has powers beyond what a crab would normally have.
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Jan 2, 2018 04:28
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dammit no he is just a crab. he is a regular crab, just huge and smart, and he likes to collect ornaments and sing songs about himself. he lays eggs, as all male crabs do, and when he sheds his skin an octopus takes up residence inside it. it's great, don't tell me any more
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Jan 2, 2018 04:39
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australiar posted:dammit no he is just a crab. he is a regular crab, just huge and smart, and he likes to collect ornaments and sing songs about himself. he lays eggs, as all male crabs do, and when he sheds his skin an octopus takes up residence inside it. it's great, don't tell me any more At the very least he's a crab that owns a magic hook that was created by the gods and is the explicit source of nearly all of a demigod's powers.
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Jan 2, 2018 04:45
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shut up he's a big gay crab
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Jan 2, 2018 04:57
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australiar posted:shut up he's a big gay crab he lives in the land of monsters, not the land ofcraps
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Jan 2, 2018 05:08
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Labes for days posted:Tamatoa is a demigod-like being and that's how he can break the third wall and summon backup singers like Maui. Like, duh. It wasn't a backup singer, it was just him with his mouth open! super sweet best pal posted:I thought the whole second act was a disjointed mess and the coconut duders and the crab would've been better off replaced by a real Disney villain. I thought it was cool that there was no villain. That's daring for Disney.
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Jan 2, 2018 05:41
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australiar posted:shut up he's a big gay crab You're not wrong. He's also missing a leg and hobbles around it as he dances, and he has David Bowie heterochromia. He's probably my favorite Disney villain design of all time.
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Jan 2, 2018 06:32
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Shiney is conceptually and musically great but yeah it has some wonky lyrics, mostly saved by Jermaine Clement. But You're Welcome is the song that best exemplifies Lin-Manuel Miranda in that it's a fantastic broadway song, possibly one of the best Disney has managed in a long time, but it also includes a few lazy cringe-core rap lines at the end.
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Jan 2, 2018 10:36
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quote:Send your armies but they'll never be enough"
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Jan 2, 2018 17:53
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Mm, tacochima
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Jan 3, 2018 18:21
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The barnacles who live on Tamotoa's teeth sing backup for him, they do a great impression of him and that's why his mouth doesn't movie for that second "seafood". Your other points are valid.
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Jan 3, 2018 19:45
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I’ve had to see Moana way too many times I feel like the movie would’ve sequenced better if they ran into the Kakamora after Maui got his hook back. Have pretty much the same scene you had before but with Maui still not being great with his hook, but also using the encounter with the Kakamora as the way Maui learns to use the hook again as opposed to the montage of him practicing with Moana. The way it goes now feels off to me. Where he gets his hook back then the movie is literally Maui relearns hook in montage -> Moana and Maui lose against Te Ka -> Moana and Maui beat Te Ka. I feel like it should be broken up more. Like put the Kakamora scene after they lose against Te Ka the first time or something E: the only thing I haven’t figure out is where to put I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) because that’s the best song and makes me tear up EVERY TIME
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Jan 3, 2018 20:25
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:He explicitly has at least one magic item embedded in his shell and seems to know what the heart is and want it beyond it just being a jewel. He is also giant and one of the only animals that is able to speak, he also lives in the land of monsters. He clearly has powers beyond what a crab would normally have. Go away oocc
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Jan 4, 2018 08:36
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Actually this is the best thing from moana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9efmoXY3__I BENGHAZI 2 fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Jan 4, 2018 |
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Jan 4, 2018 08:38
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when you use a turd to write with it's called shitposting.
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Jan 4, 2018 19:12
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Peanut President posted:I avoid these problems by listening to the true version that Miranda had nothing to do with Is this still Jemaine Clement? That's impressive!
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Jan 5, 2018 03:53
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I do like that they actually did a Maori dub of Moana. That way at least a movie based in Polynesian myth is available in at least one Polynesian language.
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Jan 5, 2018 04:04
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The emotional climax when he sings "brightest thing that glitters!!!" is so incredible but then Miranda has to go and loving RUIN IT by having "glitters" rhyme with "glitters". It's like tossing water on cotton candy, it all just deflates.
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Jan 11, 2018 02:55
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[BENNY] Yo, If I won the lotto tomorrow Well, I know I wouldn’t bother goin’ on no spendin’ spree I'd pick a business school and pay the entrance fee! Then maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll stay friends with me! I’ll be a businessman, richer than Nina’s daddy! Donald Trump and I on the links, and he’s my caddy! My money’s makin’ money, I’m goin’ from po’ to mo’ dough! Keep the bling, I want the brass ring, like Frodo! [USNAVI] Oh no, here goes Mr. Braggadocio Next thing you know, you’re lying like Pinocchio— [BENNY] Yo, if you’re scared of the bull, stay out the rodeo! [GRAFFITI PETE] Yo, I got more hoes than a phone book in Tokyo!
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Jan 11, 2018 07:38
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Business school isn't a great investment, just start a business. And the surname "Ho"... In Tokyo?
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Jan 11, 2018 12:17
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you can turn to any page of the in the heights libretto and find the corniest poo poo of all time [USNAVI] Bartender! Let me get an amaretto sour for this ghetto flower! How are you so pretty? You complete me You had me at "hello," you know you need me Truly, madly, deeply, let’s get freaky Oh I get it you’re the strong and silent type Well, I’m the Caribbean island type And I can drive you wild all night!
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Jan 11, 2018 12:36
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That is painful. It can't be real, it has to be a parody.
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Jan 11, 2018 12:41
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i cheated a little by picking something intentionally awkward, but... [DANIELA] So, Nina, I hear you been talking to Benny [NINA] And what do you hear? [DANIELA] I hear plenty! They say he’s got quite a big… taxi! [CARLA/VANESSA] No me diga! [NINA] Okay! I don’t wanna know where you heard all that! [CARLA] I don’t think I know what you mean… [DANIELA] Carla! He’s packing a stretch limousine!
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Jan 11, 2018 13:04
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Jesus
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Jan 14, 2018 03:20
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the man's dick is like a car.
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Jan 14, 2018 07:11
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