|
something about the fact that trump being a perpetual diamond club member is enshrined in law is hilarious to me
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2018 14:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 15:31 |
|
|
It's hairpieces, isn't it?
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 06:50
|
|
|
Blasphemaster posted:It's hairpieces, isn't it? That’s Putin’s thing...
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 13:12
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:Anything, eh? Here are the conditions for living / working in 'Trump-Land': 1) Pledge loyalty, fealty, and service to us only, and forever renounce all other ties. 2) Never share the secrets of 'Trump-Land' to outsiders. 3) Maintain the infrastructure of 'Trump-Land' during their 'studies'. 4) Become the production and manufacturing 'base' of 'Trump-Land' 5) Start the geological study and mineral extraction / refining of 'Trump-Land' 6) Figure out ways to improve on the 'wondrous treasures' of 'Trump-Land'.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 22:10
|
|
|
CourValant posted:Here are the conditions for living / working in 'Trump-Land': quote:2) Never share the secrets of 'Trump-Land' to outsiders. quote:3) Maintain the infrastructure of 'Trump-Land' during their 'studies'.  Of course we would want to perserve it! What use to us if these wonderous mechanism stopped working! We might have to open up these things to look at the inside... and then put it back of course.quote:4) Become the production and manufacturing 'base' of 'Trump-Land' Yes! We will do anything to make more of these cakes!The other dwarves nods in agreement. quote:5) Start the geological study and mineral extraction / refining of 'Trump-Land' quote:6) Figure out ways to improve on the 'wondrous treasures' of 'Trump-Land'.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 22:30
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:You discussed with Green for your idea, and he answers, “That would vastly reduces the amount of migrating Dwarf since most of them are serving their king for the war.” That's perfectly acceptable actually; I don't want dwarves who would pick up and leave should their King ever 'call' them back into this service. Nyaa posted:You decided to ask this to them at the table enjoying the ‘cake’ that makes them drunk in happiness. Ummm, what are these cakes??
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 22:33
|
|
|
quote:Ummm, what are these cakes?? 
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 22:45
|
|
|
I don't like you very much right now. CourValant fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Jan 3, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2018 23:20
|
|
|
Sorry, phone post failed on the image.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2018 00:12
|
|
|
It’s quite easy to negotiate with someone in a high mood just from a little sugar. These dwarf ate these cheap ‘guest cake’ that only looks good and plain tasting. Ha! They would faint if they sees the REAL cake in my large fridge. That’s mine only, of course. Even if I got tired of it, I would rather trash that that letting someone else taste my unique heaven of sugar bliss. Anyway, the dwarf are hesitant of leaving the war when I make my first condition, and the Jelly maid shows up in time to double dip more cake on these hungry dwarf. “Please takes these extra to your kinfolks as a gesture of my appreciation of your race.” I said kindly and nicely like when I want to get something from something, which is now. “It’s unfortunate that many would not come to live here and enjoy all the cake they desire.” I make a sad, sad expression like the cartoon adult that is nice but got sad. I forgot what is that cartoon. There are ton of them. “We will… Surely tell our kins of your generosity, Mr. Trump.” They replied with guilty conscience. Dumb asses. I pretend to be a bit relief and happier. Thing are going as pla- “Oh!” One of the dwarf suddenly Oh-ed like an idiotic midget. Is that how they burg? He continues, “Our King wouldn’t be pleased if that happen.” The other dwarves agrees and begins to murmur between each other. drat it. I forgot all about the King’s feeling because I don’t give a drat about other kings and the shithole cave they live in. But as a negotiator, the King would be a third party that need to be appeased. So it’s only logical to make the final push with giving a gift to their king. But, what should I give to their King? This is a big deal, obviously. Write-in gift, can be anything modern that a wealthy mansion would have. Nyaa fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Jan 16, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 00:18
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:But, what should I give to their King? This is a big deal, obviously. A used nine iron that I don't care for anymore. Because, what else would one king give to another, and yet remind him that he is only good enough for my cast-offs.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 20:10
|
|
|
Are we going to tell them what the nine iron is use for?
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 21:42
|
|
|
No just give the iron and say it's from the intricate kingly game. A toilet, but no pipes or knowledge to make more (assuming they don't already know) E: They will be shocked at our wealth to flush waste using drinkable water
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 22:07
|
|
|
Should we give them the kiddy ver but still real 9 iron? Their king might be short too?SniperWoreConverse posted:A toilet, but no pipes or knowledge to make more (assuming they don't already know)
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 22:31
|
|
|
For the toilet they need to understand to get the full implication but can't make their own. We wanna get them on the hook for our single source game changing technology. Obviously have some jelly give use details but say we want to provide the most suitable version for the dignity of the kings stature Then send the correct sizes of stuff. Maybe couple golf balls, but act like the dwarf king OBVIOUSLY knows about the game and how to play, we wouldn't insult directly by sending instructions, then these guys can go back to their poo poo hole until they come back with something useful
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 22:47
|
|
|
SniperWoreConverse posted:. . . then these guys can go back to their poo poo hole until they come back with something useful This makes me such a sad panda. I think I'm just going to stop watching the new.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 23:16
|
|
|
Greatest president fantasy trump maybe will stumble into an actual good country so that's positive at least. We already don't have slaver guilds that's ahead of the curve Obviously the dwarves have literal poo poo holes and no plumbing
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 23:24
|
|
|
SniperWoreConverse posted:Obviously the dwarves have literal poo poo holes and no plumbing Thanks for at least trying to cheer me up.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 23:35
|
|
|
They totally didn’t poo poo in some deep pot hole and covers it with a rock.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2018 23:38
|
|
|
If we could provide a power source, the tacky chandelier would be perfect, or a refrigerator to keep beer cool or the freezer to provide ice. The toilet is a terrible idea, it's a really simple device that can be copied with rough tools, we'd be giving away our shitter monopoly before we can roll out IP law. Edit: Bifocals. A magic device to aid in reading and writing your most sensitive missives, and your decrees, for a wise and literate king. We sure as heck don't read, so there's no loss. Volmarias fucked around with this message at 00:47 on Jan 17, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 00:39
|
|
|
If you want it very difficult for them to copy, you might want to try something very complex or very huge factory-made things, preferably both. But I can see the NEEDS for LIBERATING these CAVEMAN to UN-poo poo their hole with... Plumbing? But only to impress them... So they will still poo poo in their cave hole???
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 03:31
|
|
|
You try crafting bifocals. The dwarves will be impressed by our kens ground within a lens, our lensception. We can probably give a clock. A wrist watch would be nigh impossible to replicate the teensy gears on, and I can 100% see Trump giving a "genuine" "Rolex" as a mandatory gift.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 08:11
|
|
|
I won’t want to discourage simple item either. They could also give the dwarf king certain impressions.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 17:40
|
|
|
Yeah change my vote to Trump Clock, like a grandfather clock but more bigly & sealed mechanism. They will see the gemstone crystals and think it's magic and go the wrong way to figure out how it works Make them realize we have plumbing tho, nobody else has luxuries like this
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 18:30
|
|
|
So the Trump Tower Clock?
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 18:47
|
|
|
perfect, they'll cry when they see the best clock & hightest craftsmanship anyone who sees will know that this is the place to come to prove you have the most skills
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 19:34
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:So the Trump Tower Clock? Why not, its better than anything else I can come up with.
|
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 19:59
|
|
|
“Ah, yes. I have a gift for your wonderful, wonderful king.” My perfect interruption broke their argument just as they reach the point of calling each other’s loyalty into question. Not because I just happened to finish burger. The three dwarf turns their attentions to me with twinkle sparkle eyes of pure admiration of me. “A gift for our king?” One of the dwarf validates what he heard with a dumbfounded look on his face. “Yes! A gift to the king! For your king is great, I have great things about him, and I am sure we will be best pal! Please accept it and bring it safely to your amazing king!” I read out my mental praise scrips. The smiles and nodding approval spread among them. “We are very grateful for your generosity!” Another impatient greedy dwarf follows up. “What gift shall we be expecting, Mr. Trump?” “Please, call me Mr. President.” I gently offered them my proper titled in this Trump Land. “Ah, yes… Mr. President.” The greedy dwarf corrected. I stood up high above these dwarf from my chair. Towering over time like a… Their respected parent. “Come with me.” It’s time to show these kids their new toys. ------------- After taking the longer route of walking more hallways to show off my prestige modern rich infrastructure and dedicated designs, those dwarf almost forgotten there were going to pick up a gift as they admires the greatest sightseeing tour of their life. Alas, my leg got tired, so the tour will have to cut short and arrives at the nice private reading room filled with books that are supposed to be expensive and smart-looking. “Here it is.” I called their wildly marveling eyes that stares at every features of the room to the attention of this piece of fine furniture.  “T-this is…” The dwarf are in awe of my golden image and the beauty of the Trump Tower Clock that mash perfectly to the bust. This thing is beautiful. “This thing is beautiful.” I repeated what I have in mind, with semblance of regret for wanting to gift this away. “It’s the Trump Tower Clock with my golden bust commissioned by a friend in the government.” “Wh-what is it doing?” One of them asked as they stares at the tick-tock mechanism of the clock moving its hand in circle. This followed by how it work, what magic powers it, what is this 12 hours thing, etc. I gave them as much information that I can. For those that I have no answer to, I pretend it is state secret and can’t tell them. Regardless, they are deeply impressed and more confused by the modern term that they have no idea what it mean. They thank me many more time as I beg my leave for other business, but it’s really just me getting tired of babysitting them. The dwarf left almost immediately the next morning with the Trump Tower Clock on a protected wagon. Hey! They are supposed to survey my land! Bah, slacker! Smoocher! They better come back as soon as they are done or else they will be downgraded to SILVERMEMBER!
|
|
#
?
Jan 19, 2018 02:47
|
|
|
haha so we basically got poo poo all done. greatest negotiator I wonder who the dwarven king really is tho
|
|
#
?
Jan 19, 2018 06:14
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:The dwarf left almost immediately the next morning with the Trump Tower Clock on a protected wagon. Hey! They are supposed to survey my land! Bah, slacker! Smoocher! They better come back as soon as they are done or else they will be downgraded to SILVERMEMBER! The Hell!!? That's a mark against them in the ledger!
|
|
#
?
Jan 19, 2018 19:27
|
|
|
They technically was tasked by me to deliver, but it’s not my fault they can’t carry it with just one or two of them! Incompetent! 
|
|
#
?
Jan 19, 2018 19:42
|
|
|
drat stupid dwarf! I tell them to deliver a gift and ALL THREE of them went back! Slackers! Smoochers!  Fortunately, to my god-gifted luck, the human gradually arrives within these two weeks. After some background vetting at the guard plus Hobbit’s assurance that the have no criminal records, Trump Land’s gate is now well guarded! Two trained human guards for each of the two gates and two wall, Bodyguard (Praetorian King’s Guard) with lots of armor, and four human rangers to start scouting the land.  Half of the remaining 37 dwarves came at the rest of the month. I am not answering the same questions again and again, so the my slimes people can tell them whatever. As much as they wished to study the town, I am not making the same mistake again! I tell them to get their rear end off (nicely) to do the job they are paid for! THEN they can study the town. This really motivated them to get their poo poo done. By the end of the month, a detail geographic report of what all those dwarves and rangers found at some distance from here:   "Circled is the scanned territory and also the maximum distance we can reliably send military aid to protect these territory. The survey and scouting team can keep going to inspect further area for next month, but to be able to protect these further territory would require setting up nearby transportation system, road to increase travel efficiency, or local permanent guard station. The southern island would require a bridge to extend our coverage on it. "  We don’t have enough mercenary to have them stand guard at new territory. We could claim it, but no one would want to settle or work there if the kingdom doesn’t guarantee their safety from bandit and monster. Slave on the other hand…  NO! I said NO SLAVE! We will not do slave!  I have been curious of this decision of yours. Why do you refuses to enact slavery? Because, chief. *Stand up* Write-in Speech or not … : Anyway, what did we found in this circle? Our castle town locate in the open plain. West of us is the swamp forest and the abandoned home village of Dragner. The swamp condition makes it difficult for mammal to live in it without eventually catching some disease. Exotic food (likely inedible) and poisonous fume/plant can be found.  South of us is a large beach. Beyond that is a sandy island devoid of plantation. The scout (mostly human ranger) swims over to check the island, and they discovered a ‘roof’ of a ruin structure buried in the sand. An excavation team would be needed to unveil the structure after the bridge is completed and local monster eradicate.  The plains at the north gradually become more fertile with plenty of open spaces to expand most mammal population. It would be great to take all these Greenland for kingdom expansion.  Not far east from us is the sea. A good place to set up a trade port and local shipyard. It’s one less side to worry for land invasion until someone decides to bring in their naval force. [img]https://i.imgur.com/T8cFbHp.png/img]: Quite straight forward. Since we only have enough spare available workers to work on one area for the next month, expanding upward would be the easier way, but we aren’t in a hurry to increase the size of our land, are we? Trade port from the East would be great for the economy, but we don’t have any trade partner to take advantage of it. It could serve as a fishery for now if we wish to take an early step on that. Although the at the south island might just be junk from the past civilization, but it could contain something valuable… Or dangerous. We are comfortable enough in this city to not needed to go back to the swamp forest, but forest provides many things that we might need like herbs or alchemic ingredients. It is not straight forward at all! 1) Which side should the city tries to expand towards? A) East for seaport and fishery. B) West for securing the forest. C) North for the wide-open plain. D) South for the island and ruin. E) Focus on internal improvement instead. F) Write-in --------------------------------- At the same end of the month, the three delivery dwarves returned. However…  Our king appreciates your gift of GOLD and strange contraption. He tasked us to return with a DIAMOND ROTATEBLE statue of him as reciprocal gift. *Sly smile* Our king’s generosity know no bound! *Happy innocent not-getting-the-point smile* Our king wish you would accept this gift of ‘Greater’ generosity and serve as a ‘Constant Reminder’ of our friendship. *Mocking smile* ...2) WRITE-IN Note: The interpretation of their expression might or might be completely accurate.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2018 21:26
|
|
|
 1) B we need to be careful against infiltrators sneaking through the shadows. Plus exotic plants will help attract mages, like hummingbirds 2)  wow it's very obvious the dwarven king is tasteful and knowledgeable. I'm sure he also has good taste and would appreciate some exclusive local exotic valuable spices such as Trump Vodka, sun berries, nutmeg & cinnamon, silver barb plant, Trump Steak Fine Jerkies ginger bulb & saffron flower dried sizchuan & wasab fruit surgeon caviar in the can coca~cola elixir in the bottle etc
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2018 01:22
|
|
|
1 We don't want slaves, and we don't need them. Trump lands is a land of FREEDOM, chief, and we won't attract the very best talent if we have slaves hanging around here. No one wants to see slaves, they're terrible for PR and for tourism. Besides, we can just tell people that they get to own a piece of land if they work it hard enough. That will please the FREE MARKET, and they will please THE FREE MARKET with their productivity! And the free market will bless us with UNLIMITED PROSPERITY!
Volmarias fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Jan 27, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2018 02:50
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:Because, chief. *Stand up* Write-in Speech or not “Because, chief, I only want people from Norway, whether they’re slaves or not, as opposed to any of those sh!thole countries! Trumpland is to kept pure and good, and the only people I want here are people like me! People who will acknowledge and be grateful for my countenance and guidance!!” Nyaa posted:1) Which side should the city tries to expand towards? A) East for seaport and fishery. Nyaa posted:2) WRITE-IN “Well, finally, a fellow King who knows how to pay homage and tribute!! Clearly, this diamond statue is a gift worthy of my position, genius, and generosity!! Although, it is clearly in an unfinished state! You dwarves, you have 3 days to refinish this monument in my image!!! I want this to be the new mascot of Trumpland! A diamond statute in my image!!!”
|
|
#
?
Jan 29, 2018 20:17
|
|
|
quote:Nyaa: Speaking of Afancy’s new game, i always thought of a game where the players try to kill the mc while the gm throw all the plot armor to keep it alive Edit: btw, the dwarves are very pissed
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2018 18:42
|
|
|
Nyaa posted:Y/N? Y?? What are we talking about exactly? Nyaa posted:Edit: btw, the dwarves are very pissed Because??
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2018 19:56
|
|
|
these scum midjets will pay for insulting us this way
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2018 20:16
|
|
|
CourValant posted:Y?? What are we talking about exactly? quote:Because??
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2018 21:12
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 15:31 |
|
|
Nyaa posted:Basically, you can vote the dumbest thing that would get our greatest man killed and i have to save him through npc or something. Although trump would naturally lead to that like-  Nyaa posted:The second vote wanted them to recarve the statue of their king with your face on it instead. That was my idea and I stand by it.  The dwarves will re-sculpt it, they will like it, and they will thank me for the opportunity.
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2018 21:26
|
|