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Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
And they should replace dom Cruz with the New York bad rear end phil baroni

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kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Bubba Smith posted:

same personality but not as annoying, and he even looks the same.

on an extremely surface level, but

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


Wanderlei Silva for play by play, Mark Hunt for colour comm

threeagainstfour
Jun 27, 2005


https://twitter.com/FlyinBrianJ/status/948664292877877248

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Just have an intern armed only with a Bas Rutten soundboard do all commentary and give the fight winners a 20 second long hot mic to say whatever they want before the mic is cut.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

quote:

I’ve said this awhile now, it would not make a lot of sense for an individual, a UFC athlete who knew, especially a champion or contender like Jon Jones, who knew ‘Hey, I’m tested quite regularly in the program,’ would not make a lot of sense that (Turinabol) would be your drug of choice if you were intentionally trying to cheat. USADA did another test on Jon after his positive test and he was negative. Who knows where it plays out, but certainly on the surface of things, I have said, with that type of information out there, it wouldn’t indicate intentional use

Bolded for emphasis. No poo poo it wouldn't make sense Novitzky, but this is Jon Jones we're talking about here.

Fat Twitter Man
Jan 24, 2007

by R. Guyovich
Isn’t Turinabol the last thing that would be in a dirty supplement, though? It seems to me, an idiot who knows less than willie d about steroids, that Jones was probably taking some NFL super stealth steroid cocktail that had Turinabol in it and so the only thing that came up in the test was trace amounts of Turinabol?

ClumsyThief
Sep 11, 2001


thought it was just a regular centrum silver men's health but it turns out DC was switching them with steroids he bought in a planet fitness locker room

or they mean he thought he was taking undetectable peds and this happened

ClumsyThief fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Jan 3, 2018

mewse
May 2, 2006

Fat Twitter Man posted:

Isn’t Turinabol the last thing that would be in a dirty supplement, though?

Why not, they'll put all kinds of poo poo in a supplement so that it "really works!!"

Fat Twitter Man
Jan 24, 2007

by R. Guyovich

mewse posted:

Why not, they'll put all kinds of poo poo in a supplement so that it "really works!!"

SOmebody explained why Turinabol wouldn’t be one of those things, I think on here. Something about it being expensive and having a lot of side effects?

mewse
May 2, 2006

These kinds of things I don't want to know.

Did our thread title at the time say that Jones was gonna piss hot and then he did?

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

ClumsyThief posted:

or they mean he thought he was taking undetectable peds and this happened

Nah, I think it's a very favorable stance when he says stuff like:
"Who knows where it plays out, but certainly on the surface of things, I have said, with that type of information out there, it wouldn’t indicate intentional use."

Street Horrrsing
Mar 24, 2010

Godwalker of The Grateful Prisoner



Fat Twitter Man posted:

Jones was probably taking some NFL super stealth steroid cocktail that had Turinabol in it and so the only thing that came up in the test was trace amounts of Turinabol?

Lol the nfl tests twice a year on a schedule. You can just take steroids in the nfl.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

mewse posted:

These kinds of things I don't want to know.

Did our thread title at the time say that Jones was gonna piss hot and then he did?

UFC August: The Return of The King* Drug Tests Pending

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!



One of my best ones

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin
Hilarity started here.

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD
Play a Fuckin trumpet baby & everyone stand up cause the Kings about to enter da fuckin room

Fat Twitter Man
Jan 24, 2007

by R. Guyovich

Street Horrrsing posted:

Lol the nfl tests twice a year on a schedule. You can just take steroids in the nfl.

I knew that too, sheesh. I’m just repeating things I half-remember smarter people saying here a few months back.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Memento posted:

Hilarity started here.

I forgot that it came out the sample he failed was taken a week after he made his,"What will Cormier's excuse be this time?" tweet :lol:

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Street Horrrsing posted:

Lol the nfl tests twice a year on a schedule. You can just take steroids in the nfl.

Unless you're a punter or placekicker that lays out a runner. Then you get "randomly" sampled.

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD
Looking forwards to seeing which posters choose to formally apologize to both Jon and me and which posters choose to take the manditory ban for slandering the all time best fighter in history, as well as Jon Jones.

JaySB
Nov 16, 2006



Street Horrrsing posted:

Lol the nfl tests twice a year on a schedule. You can just take steroids in the nfl.

My favorite part of that is when people get caught and also the hypocrisy that they turn a blind eye about steroids but god forbid you SMOKE THE WEED

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Memento posted:

Bolded for emphasis. No poo poo it wouldn't make sense Novitzky, but this is Jon Jones we're talking about here.

Speaking of Novitzky he is a guest on JRE/JREMMA on Thursday (maybe Wednesday idk, I'm in a whole different part of the world so schedules are weird to translate) so that'll be a good listen.

JaySB
Nov 16, 2006



Unfunny Poster posted:

Speaking of Novitzky he is a guest on JRE/JREMMA on Thursday (maybe Wednesday idk, I'm in a whole different part of the world so schedules are weird to translate) so that'll be a good listen.

It was today

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

thats just some dude giving his opinion

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

JaySB posted:

It was today

Also it's what the quote was from in the story linked in that tweet.

Also also, that tweet makes me caremad because it looks like Novitzky is saying Jones definitely didn't mean to take it, when what he actually said is that it doesn't make sense for Jones to have taken it. It also doesn't make sense for him to wrap his bentley-full-of-hookers around a telephone poll, nor does it make sense for him to perpetrate a hit and run accident on a pregnant woman while high. It's Jon Jones we're talking about, he's a fuckup of the most monumental proportions.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
joe rogen: let me get this straight [looking super pensive and bald] Your saying ... light heavy weight - no, excuse me former lite heavy weight champion jon jones ......... didnt test positive on purpose

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

I.N.R.I posted:

looking super pensive and bald

lol

El Roncho
Oct 15, 2006

I'm not necessarily proud of this but I'm gonna leave it here anyways.
Allow me to exonerate Charles Manson posthumously. I mean, it just doesn't make sense for anyone to convince a group of impressionable young people to mercilessly slaughter celebrities. Like who the gently caress would even do that poo poo?

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
The greatest heavyweight title fight of all time is this month and the thread title is somehow about a guy in a completely different sport

I am Otis
Sep 22, 2003


Lol

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

I.N.R.I posted:

joe rogen: let me get this straight [looking super pensive and bald] Your saying ... light heavy weight - no, excuse me former lite heavy weight champion jon jones ......... didnt test positive on purpose

Lol

JaySB
Nov 16, 2006



Gay Horney posted:

The greatest heavyweight title fight of all time is this month and the thread title is somehow about a guy in a completely different sport

Francis Nga, naga, Nagonnabethechamp

ClumsyThief
Sep 11, 2001

I.N.R.I posted:

......... didnt test positive on purpose

Wouldn't have had to worry if he had used o-n-n-i-t

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Gay Horney posted:

The greatest heavyweight title fight of all time is this month and the thread title is somehow about a guy in a completely different sport

It's heavyweight, I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
Looking forward to Jon's dipshit management telling everyone he expects to be fighting soon then spending a million dollars on a marathon arbitration hearing that gets him both the maximum suspension as well as a written statement by the guys he just paid saying what a colossal dumbass he is

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Work Friend Keven posted:

Looking forwards to seeing which posters choose to formally apologize to both Jon and me and which posters choose to take the manditory ban for slandering the all time best fighter in history, as well as Jon Jones.

Nope

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Looking forward to Jon's dipshit management telling everyone he expects to be fighting soon then spending a million dollars on a marathon arbitration hearing that gets him both the maximum suspension as well as a written statement by the guys he just paid saying what a colossal dumbass he is

Maximum comedy option is that he gets life, goes to fight for ACB and then gets sued by the UFC because he's still under contract.

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Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
Every leech around Jon Jones is going to wring every last dollar they can from him before he pointlessly goes to steroid jail and it sucks rear end

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