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The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014

Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

Zazi posted:

with a love that will echo through the ages

P.S. - I'm gay.

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Mokbek
Dec 19, 2014

Call Me The Shocker
*A fart*

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Tinfoil Papercut posted:

"I love you"

(said 12 minutes into 2nd date)

gently caress

Sole.Sushi
Feb 19, 2008

Seaweed!? Get the fuck out!
I'm into some weird poo poo; so if you could eat this rainbow cake and chug this entire bottle of laxative, that'd be great.

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016

Ponies Ist Krieg posted:

Thanks, I'm asexual now

Then make a point to be seen by her with your new gurl a month later

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
I think we both knew this was only meant to be short-term (for use on your 25th anniversary)

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
I’m gonna be perfectly honest with you here: I’m a secret agent and my new assignment is going to make impossible for me to communicate with you for the next ten years.

spleen merchant
Jul 1, 2007
Fun Shoe
You can keep having sex with him whenever you want - just don't leave me please!

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002
Pillbug
I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Take my life... PLEASE!

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Im sorry this relationship has to end Manuel, or should I say Gustavo his secret twin brother presumed dead in a tragic boating accident 15 years ago?!?

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
If you leave me I'll kill myself.

Repeat until they want you dead

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
Hey, I found my old meme collection from high school! Let me show you!

Super Waffle
Sep 25, 2007

I'm a hermaphrodite and my parents (40K nerds) named me Slaanesh, THANKS MOM
you're gay

Creed Reunion Tour
Jul 3, 2007

by Cyrano4747
Grimey Drawer
When we started going out I didn't know you had a hotter identical twin.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
Let me preface what I'm about to say: a threesome with your two grandmothers is not weird

500excf type r
Mar 7, 2013

I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.
yeah heres a tip for you, dont be a hooker

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

my cum is tainted

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Chief McHeath posted:

my cum is tainted

My taint is cummed

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016

I like you, but I feel like I could get somebody hotter.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:
(mumble) I said, DO YOU HAVE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE

macdonal hamborkles
Mar 29, 2010

Twerk it good!

Imperialist Dog posted:

(mumble) I said, DO YOU HAVE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
I heard you take a dump, things can never be the same.

Fredrik1
Jan 22, 2005

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Fallen Rib
It's you, not me

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Noblesse Obliged posted:

I've decided to jump into online dating over you

brutal

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
I tried being pegged by your wife but I'm just really not into it.

Yeslah
Apr 2, 2013
We're breaking up, I'm positive; HIV positive.

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.
I once told a girl that was wondering if things were getting too serious too quickly, "If I wanted a friend, I'd buy a dog". I thought I meant it as a joke, but right as it came out I realized I wasn't joking and so did she. So I just left and that was that.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
I'm moving to Manitoba.

(If in Manitoba, say Wyoming).

Papa Emeritus III
Jul 7, 2017

[A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

Deal with it.
*serves Restraining Order*

Bye.

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

I’d like to show you my SA post history.

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Look, you guys have a good time frig-dancin'. And Barb, your scalloped potatoes are hosed

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Mushika
Dec 22, 2010

I'm 43 and you're a body pillow with image of an anime schoolgirl printed on it and I want a divorce.

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack
im an anime body pillow and i’ve taken my things and left while you were at work. i’ve changed all my email addresses and gotten a new phone. don’t try to contact me or i’ll call the police

Obsidianheart
Apr 26, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.
Say "Goin' out for milk and cigarettes," and then just never go back.


*Works best if you don't smoke.

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I'm gonna give you up, let you down, run around and desert you, make you cry, say goodbye, and hurt you.

Streak
May 16, 2004

by Nyc_Tattoo
Reddit said this is best for both of us

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I'm not married to the sea, but I'll learn

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Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

by sebmojo
biznitch you later, skater!

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