UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

the lack of anything industry

we have the railway centre but since there is nothing to attract anyone to the town they are reducing the services that stop here

# ? Jan 14, 2018 02:28

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:41

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

But but but... you�re an attraction

# ? Jan 14, 2018 02:31

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Lol I'm English and have lived in Glasgow for loving ages and have not once had my head kicked in for being English. Oddly enough feel weird and tense in a lot of English cities in a way I never do here.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 02:47

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

ThomasPaine posted:

Lol I'm English and have lived in Glasgow for loving ages and have not once had my head kicked in for being English. Oddly enough feel weird and tense in a lot of English cities in a way I never do here.

Difference between English cities are full of the English.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:20

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

ThomasPaine posted:

Lol I'm English and have lived in Glasgow for loving ages and have not once had my head kicked in for being English. Oddly enough feel weird and tense in a lot of English cities in a way I never do here.

How do you know what the reasons are you've had your head kicked in?

# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:28

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Lol

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Log in / Register

r/relationshipsNon-Romantic

My BF[28m] caused my[24f] parents to file for divorce.

u/bfparentbreakup

So some back story to start. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we've been living together for 1.5. We've had our bumps but for the most part the relationship has been going really well. I've never known him to be vindictive or cruel hearted, he's always been sweet to me.

I guess the drama started when my sister announced her wedding to the family. My parents agreed to pay for it and my mom has been very stressed, planning the wedding with my sister. She wants the pictures to be perfect and is concerned about my BF. He's had a pretty big scar on his face since he was young, and my mom finds it hideous. I don't know why, she's always had a weird obsession with it that I hide from my boyfriend, but he catches her staring.

So last week she texts him "How to tell someone they need cosmetic surgery". He didn't tell me about it before he texted back "How to tell someone they're in a loveless marriage and their husband is cheating when he goes on business trips". I told my BF that this was my mom's biggest fear, she's constantly worried he's cheating on these trips. I remember hearing her crying a few times late at night when I was growing up. I trusted him with this and he used it against her/me. He did this while my dad was out of town.

So she calls me at work crying about what he said to her. I try to calm her down, reassure her that dad isn't cheating. Well afterwards she calls him up and accuses him of cheating, he tells her that he's tired of hearing her accusations while he's trying to provide for her, that he wants a divorce. He told me that he can't handle her anymore, he dreads picking up her calls when he's out of town and that he's not going to return for her. He really is filing for divorce.

Now he won't talk to her or come home and I'm caught in the middle. My sister is also obviously not getting her dream wedding and is very upset about it. My boyfriend defends himself, saying that it was bound to happen eventually and that he's not going to take poo poo from her. I'm pissed that he used something I trusted him with and destroyed my family with it.

I'm so emotionally drained after taking care of my mother this weekend, I don't know how to confront my boyfriend. Sometimes I don't even know if he's that much of an rear end in a top hat for doing this. Is this a red flag, what should I do?

tldr: My Mom sent a nasty text to my BF, he sends back a nastier text that eventually caused my parents to start separating.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:30

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

Is sandra bullock in this?

# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:36

Solefald: Jun 9, 2010; sleepy~capy

That story is my highlight of the year :allears:

# ? Jan 14, 2018 06:10

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Ratjaculation posted:

Lol

loving incredible

# ? Jan 14, 2018 07:05

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Glasgow sounds cool.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 07:15

Pesmerga: Aug 1, 2005; So nice to eat you

tessiebee posted:

Glasgow sounds cool.

Glasgow is cool, I lived there for three years and absolutely loved it, I only left for work reasons.

Edit also English-ish accent but was absolutely fine and yeah, the atmosphere is more tense in Birmingham than it is in Glasgow.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:44

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

that boyfriend did nothing wrong

# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:53

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Other than releasing a massive amount of CO2 from that burn

# ? Jan 14, 2018 11:02

Furia: Jul 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

I was thinking more solidified CO2 :iceburn:

# ? Jan 14, 2018 11:10

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Cheeky! Reminds me, I�ve developed a small skin tag on my back and I want to remove it by spraying deodorant on it until it freezes. Will this kill me and should I film it?

# ? Jan 14, 2018 11:18

fridge corn: Apr 2, 2003; NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN

yes and yes

# ? Jan 14, 2018 11:36

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

I won�t let him chew random stuff he keeps finding.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 12:30

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

one of my cats likes sleeping under the covers, meanwhile the other cat has discovered the great game of "jump on all the lumps in the bed really hard"

# ? Jan 14, 2018 12:56

HJB: Feb 16, 2011; I can't get enough of are Dan

i, too, willingly let parasitic vermin into my house

# ? Jan 14, 2018 12:58

Furia: Jul 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

I stepped on a mains plug

# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:07

Kluliss: Mar 6, 2011; Cake, is it a drug, or is it simply a delicious chocolatey piece of heaven?

Furia posted:

I stepped on a mains plug

there really is no good way to do that, rip your foot

# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:12

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

HJB posted:

i, too, willingly let parasitic vermin into my house

catz rool ok

# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:25

Solefald: Jun 9, 2010; sleepy~capy

Cats are mediocre at best

# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:27

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

MikeCrotch posted:

that boyfriend did nothing wrong

the more i read that post the more i feel that the mum is a neurotic controlling mess in the same way my mam is

its an awful family dynamic because everyone sort of gets used to it and then as soon as someone outside the circle calls them out on it they become the bad guy

now that taff is dormant i can exclusively reveal that my mam is not in fact fat

Bobby Deluxe fucked around with this message at 13:48 on Jan 14, 2018

# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:46

Furia: Jul 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

Solefald posted:

Cats are mediocre at best

# ? Jan 14, 2018 14:34

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Cats r grate humanz don't feed them enough treets

Source: my cat

# ? Jan 14, 2018 14:35

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Ratjaculation posted:

Cheeky! Reminds me, I�ve developed a small skin tag on my back and I want to remove it by spraying deodorant on it until it freezes. Will this kill me and should I film it?

Shave it off

# ? Jan 14, 2018 14:41

Solefald: Jun 9, 2010; sleepy~capy

Bobby Deluxe posted:

the more i read that post the more i feel that the mum is a neurotic controlling mess in the same way my mam is

its an awful family dynamic because everyone sort of gets used to it and then as soon as someone outside the circle calls them out on it they become the bad guy

now that taff is dormant i can exclusively reveal that my mam is not in fact fat

Careful, if we say Taff one more time then he'll be summoned

Ah gently caress

# ? Jan 14, 2018 15:18

Marmaduke!: May 19, 2009; Why would it do that!?

Wetherspoons app trip report: went to the local "Red Lion" last night, when we got there I went to the loo while the wife went to get drinks at the bar. When I got back she was no closer to being served, so instead we sat down and pulled out the app. For some reason Paypal made me come up with a new password before it would let me use it, but it only made the process a minute or so later. Two minutes later our drinks arrived (And my choc fudge cake a couple of minutes after that). The people who were in front of my wife at the bar still hadn't been served when we got our drink.

In summary, Millenials 1, everyone else nil

# ? Jan 14, 2018 18:01

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

i been learning c#, i done a simple number guessing game despite the syntax being badly / barely explained

# ? Jan 14, 2018 19:17

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Solefald posted:

Cats are mediocre at best

m...mods???!

# ? Jan 14, 2018 19:21

Nova69: Jul 12, 2012

Bobby Deluxe posted:

i seriously loving miss living in winchester, didcot is such a complete shithole

a few years ago i was l@@kin at house prices in keswick, i would loving love to live up there

Someone I met here in Southampton graduated and moved to Didcot, apparently it's not very good there.

Winchester is very lovely.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 19:39

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Nova88 posted:

Someone I met here in Southampton graduated and moved to Didcot, apparently it's not very good there.

Winchester is very lovely.

it is basically a living museum of the late 1970s, only the anti-strike, right leaning, punk-never-happened late 70s.

# ? Jan 14, 2018 20:39

Looke: Aug 2, 2013

there are hardly any shops in the centre of it either, just a pc world, sainsbury's and a poundland????

lame

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:03

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

they are building another half to the shopping bit which will never ever be finished

it is going to have a costa and none of the other shops are memorable whatsoever

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:25

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

all of the landmarks are 'look, a dog was sick on this'

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:26

Firos: Apr 30, 2007; Staying abreast of the latest developments in jam communism

the spoons app is the poo poo and i love using it to order my cider and whatever food i want from the comfort of my table. not talking to people owns. similarly i loving love just eat

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:32

Looke: Aug 2, 2013

i had to drive to tescos(?) for a costa in didcot

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:33

Kluliss: Mar 6, 2011; Cake, is it a drug, or is it simply a delicious chocolatey piece of heaven?

motherfucker I burnt my biscuits. Ugh.

(they're still tasty)

Kluliss fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Jan 14, 2018

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:36

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:41

Looke: Aug 2, 2013

lmao owned

# ? Jan 14, 2018 21:36

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