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Going to put in a claim on Tiger Bite/Son of a Bitch Sauce. I have no idea what it is, but have some ideas for a hot sauce to make. Going to be a while, though, as I want to do a fermented sauce. Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Jan 5, 2018 |
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Jan 5, 2018 06:37
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Liquid Communism posted:Going to put in a claim on Tiger Bite/Son of a Bitch Sauce. I have no idea what it is, but have some ideas for a hot sauce to make. We can't wait, even though we will have to.
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Jan 6, 2018 08:20
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Samizdata posted:We can't wait, even though we will have to. I'm picking up the last of the stuff for it tomorrow, already got a bunch of nice bright orange peppers ready to go...
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Jan 7, 2018 03:01
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Liquid Communism posted:I'm picking up the last of the stuff for it tomorrow, already got a bunch of nice bright orange peppers ready to go... [ears perk up like those of the dog on the dog food can]
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Jan 7, 2018 03:07
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Samizdata posted:[ears perk up like those of the dog on the dog food can] 
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Jan 7, 2018 04:52
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Looking good, Billy Ray!
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Jan 7, 2018 06:35
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It has begun! Peppers, garlic, ginger, and a little star anise for the ferment. Updates in a couple weeks once this is ready to have the rest of the spices added and be smoothed out. 
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Jan 10, 2018 22:17
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Liquid Communism posted:It has begun! Would!
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Jan 10, 2018 22:22
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My families personal misfortune is the threads gain. Tonight I make bollocks monkey in my mom's kitchen. After I get flour from WinCo.
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Jan 11, 2018 03:56
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Liquid Communism posted:It has begun! since it's going to be a couple weeks, if you want to post now about the rest of what you're going to put in it, i can post some explanations of the real thing. but if you want to wait for that, that's cool, too 
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Jan 11, 2018 04:06
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Phone posting, bollocks monkey cookie dough worked well in a pizzelle maker, just waiting for oven ones to finish.
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Jan 11, 2018 07:45
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COOKING CHALLENGE: Bollocks Monkey INTERPRETATION: Nutty, spicy cookies. The past few days have been long and rough. So much so that I decided to confiscate my mom's kitchen while she was in the hospital. And do my laundry since my apartment blocks washers and dryers are on the fritz pretty often. I used a generic “Mexican” chocolate cookie as a template, one that didn't actually use any Mexican chocolate. That could not stand! My Mexican chocolate cookie would use over 90% Mexican chocolate even if that meant googling how to melt blocks of Mexican chocolate! Instead of getting a nice, thick, dense cookie from the generic recipe I got a cookie that spread thin and melted in the mouth. I don’t know if the chocolate substitution was that big a deal or if I forgot another ingredient along the way. I know this cookie can be improved, I’m just not sure how right now. Unfortunately, the photos can’t be improved. Bollocks Monkey ingredients and recipe posted:
Both types of cookie had a spicy, nutty taste to them that complemented the chocolate. And their thin nature gave the cookies a nice firm crunch. But the high amount of sugar and butter resulted in cookies that would melt in the mouth with every bite. The closest comparison that I can think of would be if someone turned cotton candy into a chocolate cookie. The cookies seemed to taste the best as pizzelles. They had a light, crispy, airy quality that I never experienced in a cookie before. I honestly regret not being able to photograph the many air pockets that filled the pizzelles. With that said, getting the batter portions and the timing right is very difficult. If you decide to bake them in an oven, try pairing the finished cookies with something like ice cream or cheesecake. RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 12:23 on Jan 11, 2018 |
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Jan 11, 2018 11:59
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RandomPaul, that was fantastic. I especially like the optional ingredients, and if I ever make your monkey bollocks I'll need to include them. I'm back home from travelling, and this weekend is free for kitchen shenanigans so I'm stepping on toes and other body parts and claiming: Doom Rooster Funeral Potatoes Small Fry Dirt Bean I've got a kind of a theme going on, clearly. I saw in the OP that others have claimed Doom Rooster and Funeral Potatoes but I'm quite happy to see other's interpretations of these delightful names if they're OK with me unleashing my (foolish) thoughts onto a plate as well.
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Jan 11, 2018 16:07
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All right let's talk about cocktails. Actually, first, let me get my pride out of the way:  There. That's what I should have done all along. (apple pie with cocoa powder stenciled on) Now, on to drinking. I would like to begin with a disclaimer that I do not drink as much as all these half empty liquor bottles will make it seem like I do, I live with a handful of other people and it's a collective liquor cabinet. First up, Charles Dickens' Own Punch. The first thing I thought of when I read this name was the Zombie Hemingway, a drink I used to order at a downtown Seattle bar which has since closed - it was 2 shots each of 3 kinds of rum and pineapple juice. They had a two-per-customer limit. So this drink is inspired by that - I decided gin was the right spirit for a Dickens drink, and coincidentally I really like gin so we've got a solid four gins on hand. Oh, side note, these photos are all courtesy of one of my roommates, who is also a goon and who has been lurking in this thread.  I decided on a lemon infused gin, the whiskey barrel aged gin, and the Costco gin, since the fourth one was lavender infused and the flavor didn't seem right for a punch. Punches have fruit juice, so the drink is one part of each of the gins and three parts apple juice. (pictured farther down, but it doesn't look like much.) Honestly it was delicious, surprisingly so. I might make this again. Next up: the Prairie Fire. Now, my first thought here was a bourbon and some Fireball. But my roommate (who is from the Midwest) convinced me that instead the thing to do was mix the most Midwestern things we had on hand, and then set it on fire. Since we don't keep economic depression or opioid addiction on hand, this is what we've got:  The Sam's club vodka is substituting for the grain alcohol that he informs me would be more traditional. So, this "cocktail" starts with corn, just, uh, dropped in the glass, and then a couple shots of vodka, and then a float of bacardi 151 and some fire.   We did not drink this. It also stayed on fire way longer than I anticipated, so we kinda couldn't. The last drink was a Between The Sheets. My first impulse here was to make a Sex on the Beach, which I thought was a rum drink and I could just substitute the rum for vodka and claim I'd taken out the beach. But it turns out to be peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, and orange juice, so... I just made a cocktail kinda like that, with blackberry juice, vodka, and Chambord. It was pretty good, nothing to dislike there. The Prairie Fire is still on fire.  So I guess technically I've made these three cocktails, but the night is young. For a more exciting Between the Sheets, we research layered shots and try to make something that's white-something else-white. We can't quite get the densities to work, and we stop when we curdle the milk in the blackberry juice.  Just to be thorough, I also mix up a Prairie Fire according to my original idea (bourbon and fireball).  Wait, poo poo, that's Seahawks bourbon, that won't do at all.  There we go. This drink was... Unremarkable. It's just less cinnamon-y and slightly sweeter fireball.  The Prairie Fire has finally gone out! We agree that we still don't want to drink it. legendof fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Jan 11, 2018 |
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Jan 11, 2018 21:03
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you could do an infused corn, instead of despair-flavored corn packet. replace both the bacardi and the vodka with just a straight grain alcohol, then do the flambe to reduce alcohol content
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Jan 11, 2018 21:07
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Discussion > Goons With Spoons > Culturally Ignorant Cuisine: The Prairie Fire is still on fire.
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Jan 11, 2018 21:14
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RandomPauI posted:COOKING CHALLENGE: Bollocks Monkey I'm flattered to have something so tasty-looking associated with me 
Bollock Monkey fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Jan 11, 2018 |
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Jan 11, 2018 21:20
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I'm going to check if the strawberry soda water I have at home is still good. If so, I'm going to make my own Prairie Fire before we learn the real recipe. It's, uh, not going to be pleasant.
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Jan 11, 2018 21:31
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I would like to submit Frog Eye Salad 
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Jan 11, 2018 23:17
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Lutha Mahtin posted:since it's going to be a couple weeks, if you want to post now about the rest of what you're going to put in it, i can post some explanations of the real thing. but if you want to wait for that, that's cool, too I'll wait. I'm not 100% on the spices, as they're going to be a 'to taste' thing to get the flavor right.
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Jan 12, 2018 01:14
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Prairie Fire of Doom The Prairie Fire, in my mind, evokes two things: the harsh life out in the wilderness, and burning. * 2 ounces of 190 proof alcohol * 1 big drop/squirt of hot sauce * Strawberry soda water to fill the glass   As you can see, this is indeed 95% ABV Everclear. As this is illegal to sell in my native Florida, I bought the bottle on a trip to New York City. It feels very, very cold when you spill a little on your hand.  I actually have a video for my reactions! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPSjeu-LUpw Surprisingly, it's not as bad as I expected. Despite being equivalent to around 4 shots of whiskey in this glass, the soda water does such a good job concealing it that you could be forgiven for thinking this was non-alcoholic. Everclear is incredibly insidious in that way, and I can see bad things happening from it. The hot sauce was perhaps a bridge too far. It doesn't really add spiciness in the amount I used (though admittedly it's not incredibly hot), but adds enough flavor to make this taste odd. Strawberry and hot sauce don't mix very well. Amazingly, I actually got quite close to the real thing! It seems my big mistake was bothering to water it down.
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Jan 12, 2018 02:04
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Either you guys don't understand that a major part of making drinks is chilling them or you're content drinking room-temp cocktails without ice, and I cannot decide which is weirder.
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Jan 12, 2018 06:50
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I want to bake an experimental recipe again, but don't know which suggestion to take. Can anyone recommend something? Edit: I'll also need to work on the consistency of the pizzellles when I revisit Bollocks Monkey, their density and crispiness really varied between the first successful three and the last successful three. RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 09:10 on Jan 12, 2018 |
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Jan 12, 2018 07:43
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poop dood posted:Either you guys don't understand that a major part of making drinks is chilling them or you're content drinking room-temp cocktails without ice, and I cannot decide which is weirder. Really don't think a Prarie Fire is supposed to be a chilled drink, seeing as it is whiskey, and often served flaming.
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Jan 12, 2018 08:17
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poop dood posted:Either you guys don't understand that a major part of making drinks is chilling them or you're content drinking room-temp cocktails without ice, and I cannot decide which is weirder. I didn't mention this, but the strawberry soda water I actually pulled straight out of the fridge so the drink was cool by the time I actually got to swigging it. That being said, a legit Prairie Fire is almost identical to my drink but without soda water and a higher proportion of hot sauce and I can't imagine that being on ice.
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Jan 12, 2018 15:38
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Yeah, a real prairie fire is basically just a 21st birthday shot, so warm rail liquor is pretty appropriate. I usually see it as cheap tequila with a bunch of tabasco.
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Jan 12, 2018 16:12
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Alberta Premium and Tabasco, accept no substitutes.
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Jan 13, 2018 05:22
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Invisible Ted posted:I will take the Hot Brown! Have we done the loose meat sandwich yet? I like mine on the whitest white bread possible.
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Jan 13, 2018 15:45
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Doom Rooster posted:Oh I know that you suggested it, I was just calling you out for complaining when you have not completed anything yourself.  Having said that I'll look over the list, I know a lot of this stuff either through osmosis or because I looked it up when it was posted out of curiosity and see what weird poo poo I can come up with.
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Jan 13, 2018 19:41
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remember the disgusting mug of ridiculous bullshit that that one low-carb goon ate and actually posted a picture of (I think it was the same goon who needed lipitor at 23 or something)? my imagination of fat gravy was exactly that, although i can't find the drat picture. so i aimed to replicate it some, but not all of the ingredients, excepting tarragon which I made an executive decision not to add  i started with a piece of salt pork. the aim was to get as many possible variations of fat into this thing  cut it up a little bit, let it render with water added  cream and oil  special secret colored ingredient  whereupon it all went to poo poo. you see, i had neglected to think of the fact that cream, in fact, has a lotta loving water in it. also, i added way too much flour. so instead of turning into a proper loving roux for a gravy, this loving thing turned into a dough literally on the pan   i tried to save it by adding oil, but just loving lol  give up try again  oil roux. sorry, no more salt pork left. you will note that it's oil and flour only, and a noncrazy amount of flour this time  wait for it to brown a bit properly before adding the drat cream  the secret ingredient is soy lecithin. you see, i wished to replicate the disgusting slimy scum on top of the gravy. that means it foams beautifully and unhealthily. edible soap, what a miracle heaven-sent  after the foaming  in the mug. ironically, this mug has a pic from my college major, which was full of a bunch of smarty smarty pants. learned how to optimize neural nets in in-major classes, poo poo like that. great mug for use as a monument to bad decisions  you may ask, "where is butter, the glorious king of fats?" well, a certain something needed to be done a la minute   after i poured it out onto a plate  on some bread with jam on the side  taste-wise, this was basically a roundabout way of making something that tastes exactly like 40% oil, 60% browned butter. can't taste the cream but i bet that's part of the butter taste
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Jan 14, 2018 05:44
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Why not just use the fat dough to make a pancake or something?
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Jan 14, 2018 05:50
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RandomPauI posted:Why not just use the fat dough to make a pancake or something? i'd already ate dinner no leaven (altho does the soy lecithin make a quick leaven? don't actually know about that)
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Jan 14, 2018 05:59
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RandomPauI posted:Why not just use the fat dough to make a pancake or something? That you slather in the fat gravy! Don't care if you already ate. LIPITOR NOW!
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Jan 14, 2018 06:45
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bob dobbs is dead posted:<shameful order of gravy operations violation> Fat, then flour, then liquid. Always.
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Jan 14, 2018 06:52
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Liquid Communism posted:Fat, then flour, then liquid. Always. I knew that, i just figured that the cream was fatty enough to not count as liquid That was not the case E: upon investigation, i figured out that i wasnt using my usual dehydrated double cream, which turns to butter if you look at it wrong
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Jan 14, 2018 06:53
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Doom Rooster I can't be sure of the sex of the chicken I bought, but I'd be surprised if it was male. My guess is 100% of the whole chickens for sale at Quebec Metro stores are hens, but whatever. I don't know anybody who owns a rooster, never mind one they want to sacrifice to the Internet (which makes you stupid, remember). I've roasted a few birds before, but not for a while, and never after (half) marinating, but I found an internet recipe that instructed me to break the sternum and ribs to facilitate submergence in the marinade. I've taken a great deal of first aid training, and they usually remind me that CPR will break ribs. So I used the same technique.  Doom Rooster Vid by Martin Brummell, on FlickrThe marinade is what gives this basic roast chicken the veneer of Doom Rooster:  Doom Rooster Robe Noire by Martin Brummell, on Flickr"Doom" is old-English for Judgement, so I put together a kind of theme based around an execution. Or something. I marinated the bird in half of the big bottle of beer:  Doom Rooster Marinating by Martin Brummell, on Flickr... and drank the other half. 7.5% alcohol by volume gives a decent buzz and helps remove any hesitations associated with blatantly applying a stupid theme to a simple recipe. After around 20 hours in the beer in the fridge, I pulled out the ersatz rooster:  Doom Rooster Raw by Martin Brummell, on Flickr Doom Rooster Marinated by Martin Brummell, on FlickrYou can see the cuts I made to help the beer penetrate, and the high-water-mark (I wanted to drink the beer, not just use it for marinade, so the bird didn't get completely submerged. I'd beg you not to judge me, but that's the theme here so go ahead and give me the stink-eye). Small Fry Dirt Bean Bird in oven, I turned to the beans. I have no idea what Small Fry Dirt Bean is really supposed to be, but I just threw together a bunch of different beans, along with a small onion. I have too many dry black beans, so I soaked those last night and simmered them today. I have no pictures of this - it's just a pot of beans. The other ingredients for this are 1/2 can of 6-bean mixture, leftover from last night. 1 can of "Old Fashioned" style baked beans with (a miniscule amount of) pork 1 small onion 1/2 cup (dry) black beans and a bunch of stuff from the spice cupboard, I've got some old, boring black pepper I'm trying to use up. I know I put in thyme, and some garlic powder, too, but I can't remember the full list. Then I fried it all together - for the "fry" in the name.  Doom Rooster Small Fry Dirt Bean by Martin Brummell, on FlickrFuneral Potatoes In my more lucid moments, I suppose this is the name for a potato recipe that is brought to funerals / the home of the family of the deceased in the US Midwest as one of those neighbourly things. Kind of an alternative to a casserole, just something mostly made out of spuds to save the grieving widow or whoever from the need to cook. That sounds either terribly boring or horrifying, if the actual funeral potatoes are some kind of gelatin salad thing the US Midwest invented in the 1950's. Either way, beyond my ken. So I decided to carve potatoes into coffin shapes.  Doom Rooster Potatoes Before by Martin Brummell, on FlickrLots of oil, some more of that old ground black pepper, and some tarragon mainly for colour.  Doom Rooster Potatoes After by Martin Brummell, on FlickrAfter 30 minutes in the oven, when I flipped them - they got 1 hour total. At this point the bird was done, so I cranked it to broil and gave it a couple of minutes to blacken. I probably should have let it go longer for that real Doom-y effect. Oh well.  Doom Rooster Crispy by Martin Brummell, on Flickr Doom Rooster Done by Martin Brummell, on FlickrI live alone so there's nobody but me to judge this.  Doom Rooster Meal by Martin Brummell, on Flickrand I ate it while watching the Halloween episode of Best of the Worst  Doom Rooster Halloween in January by Martin Brummell, on FlickrJudgement It's a roast chicken, it's good. Plus crispy roast potatoes, so 2/3 of this are basically fool-proof (go ahead and prove me wrong, I want to see you burn your kitchen down with some crazy blackened bird). The beans turned out surprisingly good - I was expecting just a boring mush of tasteless bean goo, but they were pretty tasty. Overall, would do Halloween in January again.
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Jan 15, 2018 02:11
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 That looks loving delicious. Your potatoes made me think of a dish that I make all the time but is not specific to a country and still isn't exactly obvious from the name: Fondant Potatoes.
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Jan 15, 2018 03:29
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Yay one of mine got done. Small fry dirt bean is literal translation of 小炒土豆, small fried potatoes. Basically just very small potatoes fried crispy with Chinese bacon, peppers, garlic, ginger, etc. This is the real thing, imgur isn't loading to rehost: http://www.zhmc123.com/uploadfiles/11520_2016423174655179.jpg
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Jan 15, 2018 04:31
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coq a vin is disgusting because it's made with roosters. the cook time is designed to make it edible, but it's still pretty disgusting you see ancient recipes calling for 6, 10 hours cooks with rooster. lol at doing that with a hen
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Jan 15, 2018 04:36
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bob dobbs is dead posted:coq a vin is disgusting because it's made with roosters. the cook time is designed to make it edible, but it's still pretty disgusting I've only had coq a vin once, at Balthazar in NYC. It was absolutely delicious and even had a distinctive red wine taste to the chicken.
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Jan 15, 2018 04:43
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