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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as you, fatass.
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Jan 14, 2018 14:14
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"Did it hurt?" "Did what hurt?" "When I broke up with you."
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Jan 14, 2018 14:29
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I seem to have lost my number. I guess you can never call me anymore.
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Jan 14, 2018 14:29
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Are those astronaut pants? Because you've sealed yourself completely off from everything around you
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Jan 14, 2018 14:34
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Was your father a baker? Because you're all doughy and I'm trying to cut you out of my diet.
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Jan 14, 2018 14:36
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If I told you I never wanted to see you again, would you hold it against me?
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Jan 14, 2018 14:38
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pull my finger *before she even gets the chance my farts sound like someone saying "we need to talk"*
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Jan 14, 2018 15:11
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Your uber's here.
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Jan 14, 2018 15:21
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£
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Do you know what felching is?
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Jan 14, 2018 16:39
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Applewhite posted:I just can't be with someone who doesn't "get" Archer. (used this one for real) omg
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Jan 14, 2018 22:20
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i make terrible OPs on the somethingawful dot com forums
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Jan 14, 2018 22:22
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I'm on the Internet...and you're on the OUTERnet.
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Jan 14, 2018 23:13
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Hand them a printout of your e/n thread where every other reply just says 
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Jan 14, 2018 23:18
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Twenty Four posted:Hand them a printout of your e/n thread where every other reply just says “Ooh look at all the little hearts!”
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Jan 14, 2018 23:20
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Applewhite posted:"Did it hurt?" Is that a mirror on your belt? Because I can see myself breaking up with you. See myself in your pants
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Jan 14, 2018 23:21
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"Can you teach me how to suck cock like you? Asking for a friend"
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Jan 14, 2018 23:23
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Do it ironically posted:i make terrible OPs on the somethingawful dot com forums Username + post combo
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Jan 15, 2018 16:10
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I've gone through your family records and it looks like your great-great-great grandmother was Hungarian. According to my racial hygiene manual the magyar race is not considered white. So with a heavy heart I must inform you that I'm leaving you.
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Jan 15, 2018 16:31
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Have you heard about this game in development called Star Citizen?
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Jan 15, 2018 16:42
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"See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!" *limp wrist gesture*
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Jan 15, 2018 19:12
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"Bitches, leave."
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Jan 15, 2018 19:12
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I dated you only because you reminded me of Kevin Spacey. Why did you get plastic surgery?
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Jan 15, 2018 20:20
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smell ya later, alligator
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Jan 15, 2018 21:59
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her (texting): i love you me: ~*~*~*~FARTZ~*~*~*~
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Jan 15, 2018 22:02
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Koyaanisgoatse posted:her (texting): i love you i dunno, that might score some gently caress points for people with a decent sense of humor
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Jan 15, 2018 22:54
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Communist Toast posted:it's not you it's ask jeeves I told you it was just the one time.
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Jan 16, 2018 00:23
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I am break-up 9000! Destroy re-la-tion-ship! DESTROY! *start karate chopping her*
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Jan 16, 2018 00:24
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Oh gosh, I just realized I have to be somewhere else.
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Jan 16, 2018 00:46
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You should really finish that drink before we start talking.
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Jan 16, 2018 00:49
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"Now that we've been dating for a while, I think it's time we talked about our relationship with Jesus Christ." *pulls out Watchtower pamphlet and an iPad with a Jehovah's Witness video cued up.*
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Jan 16, 2018 00:51
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I have to tell you about an amazing business opportunity which allows you to be your own boss and set your own hours.
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Jan 16, 2018 00:53
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Have you ever wanted to set up a cheap hot snack shack in Reform, Alabama?
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Jan 16, 2018 00:54
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It's a real bummer, but I think I'm going to have to move back in with my parents for a while.
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Jan 16, 2018 00:55
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Crank my hog or get off the log
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Jan 16, 2018 00:58
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You know who I'm breaking up with? Read the first word.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:19
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I curl up into a ball and spin dash into a wall of spikes and my promise ring flies off my body and I don't try to pick it back up.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:21
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I slip a note that says "I'm breaking up with you" in between his pancakes on the day before our submarine pulls into port.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:22
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When I'm hanging danger tags for equipment tag out, I write "It's not working out, I think we should see other people" on one of the tags and then pick her as the second signer.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:24
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Wait until a lull in conversation. Neither of you has said anything for several minutes. The silence stretches on and out, accentuating the ever-growing gulf between you. Is this contentment? they may wonder. They relax, drinking in the unspoken comfort of your presence. That's when you roar "WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?"
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Jan 16, 2018 01:59
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 04:27 |
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Applewhite posted:How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as you, fatass. 
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Jan 16, 2018 02:14
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